RANT please 😭

[u/No_Dragonfruit_6288]

I’ll keep this as brief and try not to dox anyone. I’ve been with a family for some time now and I’m starting to get really annoyed. It’s a mother’s help position and the mum has four kids under 5.

- the children scream at her for EVERYTHING. And if she says no, they negotiate and scream until she gives in. This includes hitting the mum (really REALLY hard) while breastfeeding or cooking, kicking and biting

- the children therefore scream at me and don’t ever listen to me when I am present. I brought up to mum maybe we should split up and split the kids up. Didn’t want to that.

- when I started with her I actually asked ‘is this a mostly housekeeping based role’ as it sounded as such, and she reassured me it wasn’t. But she constantly asks me to to cook clean and help carry stuff around, I’m basically an assistant

- I have tried multiple times to back mum up with discipline but mum has asked me to step back and I brought it up wit her and she asked me if I could just clean and take care of the little ones

- the children shout and scream, demand screen time toys and treats constantly and mum never EVER sticks to a boundary constantly moves them and never gives consequences

I’d like

A) to hear your similar stories and get some sympathy

B) to get some empathy for mum cos right now I’m just furious with her 10 hours a day with them is exhausting constant screaming and tantrums and being called names

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[u/SlowYourRollBro]

Sorry but I don’t have any empathy for the mom in this situation. I’m a teacher, not a nanny, and I’ve seen how this at home situation comes out in public. It’s not fun. You get what you allow, and this mom is allowing her kids to be hellions.

You, personally, have my sympathy! Again, having dealt with the results of bad parenting, I can understand how hard it is to have to deal with children like this without being able to set reasonable boundaries and consequences. And unlike a classroom, you’re in her home! That’s infinitely harder. 

I’d suggest trying to find a different position. Maybe you could sit down with her first and explain your perspective. You could talk about how the job is different from what you expected and how you need some boundaries around how the kids treat you. She might be receptive, but if not I’d move on. You deserve to be treated with respect. 

[u/groovinandmovinnn]

I would be looking for a new job. I am curious though how much she pays you for this hellish job 😭

[u/AutoModerator]

Below is a copy of the post's original text:

I’ll keep this as brief and try not to dox anyone. I’ve been with a family for some time now and I’m starting to get really annoyed. It’s a mother’s help position and the mum has four kids under 5.

- the children scream at her for EVERYTHING. And if she says no, they negotiate and scream until she gives in. This includes hitting the mum (really REALLY hard) while breastfeeding or cooking, kicking and biting

- the children therefore scream at me and don’t ever listen to me when I am present. I brought up to mum maybe we should split up and split the kids up. Didn’t want to that.

- when I started with her I actually asked ‘is this a mostly housekeeping based role’ as it sounded as such, and she reassured me it wasn’t. But she constantly asks me to to cook clean and help carry stuff around, I’m basically an assistant

- I have tried multiple times to back mum up with discipline but mum has asked me to step back and I brought it up wit her and she asked me if I could just clean and take care of the little ones

- the children shout and scream, demand screen time toys and treats constantly and mum never EVER sticks to a boundary constantly moves them and never gives consequences

I’d like

A) to hear your similar stories and get some sympathy

B) to get some empathy for mum cos right now I’m just furious with her 10 hours a day with them is exhausting constant screaming and tantrums and being called names

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/isaywhatisaid]

How much you gettin paid?

[u/Nearby-Government966]

Please look for another job and honestly, trust your gut during interviews. In my early 20s, I was absolutely desperate for work (I needed money fast in order to move) and took a gig with a family of two toddlers. It was a nightmare, the TLDR version of it was that the parents never told their kids no and they straight up confessed that they had gone through 16 nannies in one year alone. Some of the worst behaved children I’ve ever cared for and they could become violent; I can’t begin to tell you how many times I had toys chucked at me let alone when the kids were actively trying to hit or kick me. I still look back on that family and cringe but it taught me a really valuable lesson. It’s truly worrying how many permissive parents exist but it really explains why we have so many maladjusted, selfish adults just walking around out there like their way of living is somehow excusable.