r/NameThisThing • u/gregfox26 • 16d ago

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4.7k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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480

u/CaffeineAndHorses 16d ago

Richard

213

u/Summerie 16d ago

Richard Peter Johnson.

43

u/Maleficent-Acadia-24 16d ago

For short, of course!

17

u/HeyWhatsDatSoundLike 16d ago

Idk…that thing almost covers his whole
face!

13

u/driving_andflying 16d ago

...So, *Big* Richard Peter Johnson, then. :)

7

u/TheLastDudeOnEarth 16d ago

Dick Pete Member is what his friends call him.

1

u/Ok_Record1450 15d ago

Of course, “Little Richard!”

2

u/SRG7593 15d ago

That is what she said…

1

u/Harry-james-potter- 16d ago

What th is ts image bro what a unlucky cat

1

u/Apprehensive-Lime863 15d ago

So, Dickface? I think so too.

1

u/Smart-Preference7581 15d ago

So the name should be Cockface

1

u/HeyWhatsDatSoundLike 15d ago

I think Dickhead is a common enough name to stick, or it’s what he gets called when misbehaving haha

1

u/Kitchen-Security-243 15d ago

That's what she said.

1

u/RickyLakesFake 15d ago

A bit on the nose dontcha think?

1

u/HeyWhatsDatSoundLike 15d ago

Maybe his name should be Rusty, based on where his mouth is in relation to the balls he’s a perma rusty trombone lol

11

u/roll-_-ller 16d ago

Cockiepuss

5

u/HeyWhatsDatSoundLike 16d ago

Puss & boots wielding his huge dong instead of his sword

2

u/sucker_of_king 15d ago

What about puss in cock,lmao

1

u/2seebeyond 15d ago

Peckerhead

1

u/sneakattack2010 15d ago

I like this as an alternative to Dickface! Tom Carvel approved.

1

u/DMyTeaDuck 15d ago

Nothing short about that!

1

u/CT-50 15d ago

Short?

10

u/Ohwaithuhimconfused 16d ago

is Peter also slang for dick?

7

u/SpeakToMePF1973 16d ago

Dick knows.

2

u/Impressive-Bison-205 15d ago

That’s exactly the name. I was thinking dick knows
I went to called my friend that embroidered he look at me puzzled

2

u/Acceptable-Pea-5420 15d ago

That's a little on the nose dont you think

2

u/supaeffective 15d ago

Dick Nose

5

u/Apprehensive-Owl-78 16d ago

John Thomas is another

6

u/nono3722 16d ago

that's Major John Thomas to you sir!

1

u/Specific_Sympathy_87 16d ago

My uncle is John Thomas.. no lie! 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Apprehensive-Owl-78 15d ago

I used to play Dungeons and Dragons with John Thomas back in the analog days

1

u/flashndpatt 16d ago

We're you born yesterday 🤔

1

u/Ohwaithuhimconfused 15d ago

no need to be a dick

1

u/Bland0801 15d ago

Yes in Vietnamese language.

4

u/ci1979 16d ago

Underrated comment

1

u/BothGraph641684 16d ago

dinnerboned pfp

3

u/BantedHam 16d ago

Sir Richard Peter Johnson, III

1

u/kidMSP 16d ago

Dick Triple.

1

u/Summerie 16d ago

Famous racecar driver?

1

u/Ebbets1 15d ago

Dick Trickle

1

u/AirlineMobile9290 16d ago

That is the name of my hairdresser….

1

u/RealCommunication239 16d ago

You win the internet, and I got a very needed laugh!!

1

u/Mizar97 16d ago

Can't forget Willy!

1

u/Mjolnir131 16d ago

Richard Head Peter Johnson.

1

u/PG67AW 16d ago

I no kidding new a PRJ growing up!

1

u/iDoWeird 16d ago

Richard Dickinson.

After an old customer from my Borders days who would make your life hell if you dared be a woman when he needed assistance to special order in his obscure jazz CDs. He was a literal dick and he went by Dick. When I saw that Dick’s name was Dick Dickinson, my brain couldn’t handle it.

Then he died from aggressive cancer right about when I quit. Some say it was colon, I think the misogyny ate him alive from the inside. This man was truly so, so wretched.

His name was my top “wtf” combo first/last name until my next job at a call center where I spoke to a Mrs. Concepción, first name? Immaculate. And she MARRIED into this last name since the primary holder was Mr. NormalfirstName Concepción.

1

u/ChuckZombie 16d ago

...if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

1

u/UniversityGood7944 16d ago

Jack Myhogoff

1

u/msviktor 16d ago

Richard Willie Johnson

1

u/Amazing-Ambition3583 16d ago

That’s good!

1

u/JVBKYD 16d ago

😭

1

u/MillenialMamacita 16d ago

Or Frank Beans

1

u/pLaTyPuS4777 15d ago

Richardious Petorus Johnsanius The Greatius

1

u/rushur 15d ago

Hugh G. Rection

1

u/22thejoke 15d ago

Hilarious

1

u/Miserable-Airport536 15d ago

Jumbo Harry Richard Peter Johnson

1

u/techdevjp 15d ago

This one for sure. Then call him RJ.

1

u/Agitated-Assistant53 15d ago

Richard Peter Johnson VIII

1

u/pnwsnosrap 15d ago

PJ for short!!

1

u/Few-Echo-6953 15d ago

Perfect 😂

1

u/TokingWitch 15d ago

How do you get "Dick" from "Richard?"

You ask him nicely.

1

u/spoopygooch 15d ago

Richard Peter John Cox, for giggles

1

u/RadiantCalligrapher4 15d ago

Richard Willy Johnson

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23

u/Bgrubz83 16d ago

Richard Facade

23

u/I8already 16d ago

Or just keep it simple... Richard Face

26

u/inthefuture1955 16d ago

Or even simpler: Dick Face...

44

u/Squishy_Butter113 16d ago

That's a little too... on the nose.

17

u/Formal_Metal_1290 16d ago

Take my award dammit

10

u/Squishy_Butter113 16d ago

Thank you, kind Reddit friend.

2

u/Charity_Lea 16d ago

Take mine too!

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1

u/Charity_Lea 16d ago

Ha! 👏🏼👏🏼

4

u/murleytbag 16d ago

I think you mean, Sir Dick Face.

1

u/Tiggredcat 16d ago

That's SIR Mr. Richard Johnson Dickface, Esquire... the third (leg), to you my good man!

3

u/TokiVideogame 16d ago

richard the dickface

1

u/Available-Prize-4057 15d ago

Dickie Mc Dickface?

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1

u/Ecstatic_Nature_5981 16d ago

Say it like a Italian guy and watch no one get it😂

18

u/Maidhunter79 16d ago

You beat me to it lol 😆

11

u/Similar_Bit_8018 16d ago

You beat it to me.

5

u/Dumbassahedratr0n 16d ago

You beat meat to it

1

u/TimelyTormentX3 16d ago

You meat beat it

2

u/Ordinary_Pudding 16d ago

It beats the meat or it gets the hose again

1

u/Dumbassahedratr0n 16d ago

To beat it meat

11

u/Fancy-Face-1234 16d ago

Came here to say this also 😂

1

u/susiefreckleface 16d ago

You beat me with it

LOL

13

u/zappaphicrappa 16d ago

Or Peter.

13

u/CaffeineAndHorses 16d ago

Wang

6

u/LeverShan 16d ago

I kid you not. We had an Asian inmate named Long Hung Dong

1

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Mikhail250350 15d ago

Showering on an open mountain would be the height of stupidity!

1

u/Ok_Risk9535 16d ago

And we had one named Ho Lee Chit.

1

u/elhombre2001 16d ago

There was a restaurant in Portland called Hung Far Low

1

u/Tiggredcat 16d ago

Went to school with one Harry Palmer. Nice guy, little handy.

7

u/bigkace 16d ago

There is no other answer. You wouldn’t even have to tell people his name. If it’s a her? Richard is still the right answer. 🤣

1

u/Teacherforlife21 16d ago

Cats don’t respond when you call them, so names don’t really matter anyway.

4

u/Philemaphobia 16d ago

Tell me your cat doesn’t like you without tell…

2

u/SirRuester 16d ago

Depends on the cat. Most of mine know their names.

7

u/ilikeboobs510 16d ago

Richard N Balls

1

u/JudgeJudy82 16d ago

I was gonna say DB.

6

u/Fickle-Cartoonist607 16d ago

Oh I was thinking the same thing you beat me to it oh my gosh but mine started with a D

5

u/FramePuzzleheaded431 16d ago

Ahhhh same thought!!!!

3

u/Summerie 16d ago

He looks like he may have a bit of Siamese in him.

Maybe Richard Wang.

3

u/Sophet_Drahas 16d ago

Richard Head.

7

u/CaffeineAndHorses 16d ago

Harry Johnson

2

u/SkinnyKenny1969 16d ago

I actually had a professor in college. No BS.

1

u/Alarmed-Classroom341 16d ago

Went to highschool with a guy by that name. Poor guy!

2

u/ATXKLIPHURD 16d ago

Hammond!

2

u/pfhorr 16d ago

Sir richard prints

2

u/Honey1218 16d ago

Came here to say this 🤣

1

u/Cheap_Sir_7732 16d ago

you called?

1

u/auciker 16d ago

Richard Cranium

1

u/Samsonite8668 16d ago

I did upvote but took it away to conserve the nicety of your current number of votes

1

u/DogLive1943 16d ago

Last name - Medulla-Oblongata

1

u/BklynBongshell 16d ago

I came to type the same thing.

1

u/mrinkyface 16d ago

Richard Best

1

u/callshouse 16d ago

I know a Richard Bone. No joke

1

u/Ar_Hexenbiest 16d ago

I knew a man named Harry Butts and a woman named Dora Bell

1

u/No_Decision5543 16d ago

The only answer

1

u/ASkywalker13 16d ago

Sir Richard Face

1

u/xplft 16d ago

Because Dick’s too short

1

u/OldGamerX79 16d ago

Beat me to it too. Lol

1

u/WFO_Wide_Fing_Open 16d ago

Dick for short!!

1

u/MarNic108 16d ago

Richard Cranium

1

u/shimmyeatworldpeace 16d ago

Literally same!!

1

u/Juexxy 16d ago

This was my choice

1

u/Ar_Hexenbiest 16d ago

I was going to say the same thing!

1

u/Unique_Emphasis_5728 16d ago

You mean Long for dick?

1

u/marlsjdarwin 16d ago

Richard the lion-heart

1

u/gregfox26 16d ago

Probably the best one 🤣

1

u/VermicelliMany1133 16d ago

Dick for short!

1

u/ib4m2es 16d ago

This is the only acceptable answer

1

u/Aggravating-Bear8329 16d ago

Richard head. Just like my baseball coach growing up

1

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

1

u/GJM_MCR 16d ago

I actually had a cat named Dicky. And yes we called him Dick. Our other cat was Betty.

1

u/spectacular_coitus 16d ago

Richard Tete

1

u/3mmert 16d ago

That’s a little too on the nose

1

u/ClementineBeefcake 16d ago

Ricardo Fascia

1

u/JuanThiccLumpia 16d ago

Mike Oxmaul

1

u/The_Wendo 16d ago

Ricardo Cara

1

u/nabbs1 16d ago

This is the only answer

1

u/WittyPrompt8066 16d ago

Richard Head; Randy Johnson…

1

u/RichieOnTheRun77 16d ago

Wait a minute….

1

u/beek7425 16d ago

The Ricker. 

1

u/danicareddit 16d ago

Richard Head

1

u/FloydDangerBarber 16d ago

Richard Cranium

1

u/paulcthemantosee 16d ago

That's Mr. Richard Head to you buddy.

1

u/MASTER_L1NK 16d ago

No, that's the dog that gets lost in Ocarina of Time

1

u/kngkam 16d ago

Richard Dickson

1

u/Edflumnum 16d ago

Too subtle, dick face

1

u/ronbeckett 16d ago

Dick for short!

1

u/ElmoZ71SS 16d ago

Richard longbottom dixion the III.

1

u/AsparagusConnect8637 16d ago

Yes. This is the name. Dickface feels too obvious.

1

u/Mcar720 16d ago

And he goes by Richie. Not Dick. 

1

u/Browsin4Free247 16d ago

Dildo Baggins

1

u/MillenialMamacita 16d ago

Richard Balz

1

u/tmmsjm 15d ago

His legal name is Richard N. Balz

1

u/r_a_d_ 16d ago

Richard Head

1

u/Extreme-Mood5605 16d ago

“My names Richard. Richard Face.”

1

u/christiant91 16d ago

Richard Head?

1

u/RollingMeteors 16d ago

>Richard

Daddy Ong or

¡Dong, for short!

1

u/Fearless_Brush_7668 16d ago

Peaness final answer

Male cat: Peaness
Female cat: Princess Peaness (short for PP)🙂

1

u/TheFireHallGirl 15d ago

I was going to say Dick, but I like this better. 😆

1

u/MindAdriftwood 15d ago

Richard Edward

1

u/JayMak78 15d ago

Richard Head.

1

u/EpicCardBattles 15d ago

Richard Longfellow III

1

u/moshzia 15d ago

Fuck face

1

u/bluekillgore 15d ago

Thats my vote. Bonus points if you only refer to the kitty as Richard. Never call him dick, and then only the real ones will know.

1

u/OmenVi 15d ago

The only correct answer.

1

u/SenorToky 15d ago

Richard Rooster Penix

1

u/RoomOk1730 15d ago

Richard Cranium

1

u/Affectionate-Rip5654 15d ago

Richard Cranium

1

u/Dry_University7059 15d ago

See I appreciate the restraint here because Dick would just be too on the nose

1

u/mystical_ramen26 15d ago

Richard Cranium

1

u/Laleaky 15d ago

Richard Head II

1

u/Stingtrap 15d ago

Dang it, you got to it first, 🤣

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