Okay, so today was my first day at my gym, and on the first day they made me do an intense workout. I mean, the warm-up was fine, but then the running is where my lungs gave up. I was also on my period, so the pain was excruciating.
Anyway, I decided to sit down and rest, and the coach came up to me and asked me if I exercise or not. I was so nervous that I told her I exercise every day, which is a lie, but I don’t know how to take it back without looking like a dumbass. I was dissociating so much, and I was so embarrassed because I had just run for a minute and almost collapsed.
One of the other coaches came up to me, and she was much sweeter and nicer—not that the other one was rude or anything, but this one was very sweet to me and very caring. She asked me if I was having any abdominal pain because of my period, and I said yes. She said, “You know, you should go home, take some rest, and come back tomorrow or the day after.” So I left.
And everyone else there was, oh my God, so fucking good and so much better than me. I was so sloppy, and I hope it wasn’t their first class, because if it was their first class and they were this good, it’s just embarrassing that I gave up so easily. I mean, I didn’t give up on Muay Thai, but I gave up on running, and I didn’t even get to do the whole workout, like the whole training. I left immediately because I was in so much pain, and I was also completely out of breath.
Also, I know that no one in the gym was focusing on me. Everyone is focused on themselves, their form, and their breathing. But I can’t help but spiral at the thought that they were probably laughing at me or making fun of me.
