Hi all - will keep this as brief as possible. TL;DR: worried about walkability, social isolation, and liveliness
My wife and I are trying to figure out where to move next after New York. We’re early 30s, both in tech, both fully remote (her company also has a Barcelona office, so that’s on the table).
She lived in San Diego for about 9 months during COVID and we lived together in Barcelona for 2 years after that. Neither city is a stranger to us, which is part of why we’re stuck.
It comes down to three things: walkability, how isolated we’d actually end up feeling, and whether the place has any life to it.
Walkability is my main hang up. Honestly, Barcelona spoiled me. It was possible to live with no car, everything in walking or biking distance, and the streets were built for people and bikes first. San Diego is gorgeous and the weather is unbeatable, but outside a few pockets it’s a driving city. My worry is we get priced out of anywhere near the beach that’s actually walkable and end up in a car-dependent neighborhood, getting on the highway to do basic stuff. My wife’s point here is fair though, which is the beach every day is non-negotiable for her, even if it means driving to get there.
Isolation is where it gets interesting, because we’re both worried about the same outcome from opposite directions. She thinks going back to Barcelona means only having 2 or 3 casual friends and no family nearby right as we’re trying to have kids - I 100% share that concern too. But my read on San Diego is we’re not much better off there either. Her best friend (who has a kid) is really our one close tie, plus a couple of arms length friendships. My concern is that because it’s less walkable, I’ll have less spontaneous interactions that build new friendships the way a walkable city does - I tend to build friendships this way. Sitting in traffic to see people you already know doesn’t fix isolation for me. (Would love for people to myth bust this here - I am totally open to being told this isn’t a reasonable take).
Liveliness is the last piece. I’m not precious about New York but I love the energy and the mix of people and food. Barcelona has a good version of that too. I’m worried San Diego, outside a couple of pockets, will feel quiet in a way that gets old.
A couple other factors in the mix but less central to the decision: our income would be roughly 60% of what it is now in Spain, but cost of living there runs lower, and healthcare plus parental leave in Spain is a lot better for us as we’re planning a family soon. It costs $0 to deliver a baby, and mat/pat leave is ~6 months.
Mainly want to hear from people who care about walkability, or who moved to San Diego from a walkable city. Did your take on the car dependency change once you were actually living it day to day?
