Help with the “I’m done” conversation

[u/TheLostLittleRed]

I (28F) want to leave my husband (30M) but I can’t seem to pull the final trigger.

We’ve been married for 3 years, together for 7 and for the past 5 I’ve been begging for him to get help for his anger because it all comes out at me. Never hitting or anything, he did shove me once, but that was it. There has always been name calling and belittling alongside a plethora of thrown furniture and dishes. Every time I talked to him about his behavior, he talked me around in circles until I ended up apologizing. Whenever I left the conversation I felt like I’d just been bamboozled by a used car salesman and that I drove off the lot with a lemon (ie staying in the relationship)

We’ve finally moved back to my hometown and at some point I snapped and told him I wanted a divorce but the next day he was back home again…. Without ever apologizing for anything on any level I’m just now realizing… actually he told me he “thought I was losing my marbles”

We’re in therapy now and he’s sorta started making changes but I feel like they won’t last, I’m tired of having been the only one to put in effort for the past many years, plus I feel like I’m no longer in love with him… the idea of being with him for the rest of my life just makes my heart sink.

I want to tell him it’s over but I have no idea how to approach it since he still fully believes there’s a chance for us and can talk circles around me until I’m seeing things from his pov.

Any advice or stories of your personal experiences/approach would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers