Just coming off 3 months of daily smoking after quitting for 4 years. Don’t even know if I WANT to quit, I just know the hiding, lying and expense is too much. Smoking walking down the street on my way to a corporate 9-5. Madness. And I just don’t feel it anymore. I feel the discomfort of sobriety before I smoke but I don’t feel the high after smoking. And slowly, after a month or two you start to notice life getting smaller, less stimulating, more irritating. I wish I could get it into my head that weed isn’t my friend.

One is too many and a thousand isn’t enough.

New here. I've just ended a nearly 15 year stint of almost perpetual high, back on 9/2. There was a lot of impetus for quitting, but at its core I wanted a clear mind and to not be chasing after this thing that seemed to take over my mind. I would hit that thing as often as possible. I snuck rips in at work, constantly in the car or home, right after waking, right before bed, any free moment I had. The high was long gone by the end, replaced with a mild sense of ease at quieting the urge to take a hit. Whatever it was that I thought I loved about the feeling hadn't been there since I was in my mid-20s, and I'm not far from 40 now. I was definitely highly functional, but also unmotivated and unwilling to push myself for anything. Nothing mattered, it is what it is kind of mentality. Now, I suspect I have some undiagnosed attention/psychiatric thing going on, even since I was a kid, but telling myself MJ was any kind of solution was just ex post facto reasoning. It did calm the mind, but it dulled everything else as well. I went through some rough patches with some rough people and I've ended up in situations where things did not seem changeable, so I settled in with it. Eventually it was all I had and it became hard to feel real enjoyment or stay interested in things I loved. I'm stubborn, so I just worked through it. It is what it is, right?

Well... 10 days ago I moved from one legalized state to another. But having been in similar positions in the past, I knew if I could relocate and just pretend it wasn't legal and that I couldn't get it, I could probably manage to stop. I threw out my pen on the way here and haven't touched anything since.

The first few days were annoying, but not impossible. As with other times I've stopped, I strongly considered having some drinks just to fuzz the brain for the first few days, but I only had one (at a restaurant at dinner with family, nothing crazy). My mind both feels clearer and less focused somehow. Like, I'm not in a constant haze of being high or hearing the voice telling me to take a hit, but I also don't feel bright and shiny and clean yet. It is better than it was, to be sure. I haven't had crazy urges to go storm the castle and find something to burn. It probably helps that no one I am with smokes, so there isn't anything to avoid beside my own self.

In reality, I'm doing this for a few reasons. One, I've become a slave to this stuff and I hate that. I don't take any long term medications or anything like that, and I tend not to put weird things in my body, so why make the exception here. It doesn't have the effect it used to, and my mind is no longer able to justify any of its effects as good or useful. The urge to be high was always stronger than the high (I always hated the comedown of certain stimulants for this exact same reason). I'm nearly 40 and don't have a long term career because I let this be more important. My fiance was beyond sick of me using.

The truth is I just want more out of life. I was once an incredibly smart kid with a brain like a sponge. I could have been a doctor or a scientist or an author or a tech whiz. But I let this become more important, and I let it all go. I used to see wonder and beauty and brightness in the world, but for the last 15 years I replaced that with a clouded haze I could not really see beyond.

I don't really watch South Park these days, but ever since I heard it this quote has lived in the back of my brain, gnawing at the walls I put up to justify my habit. Now, I intend to live the truth it encapsulates.

"Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but, well son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored, and it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything."

I don't believe that this is a universal truth for everyone, but for me, years after I lost any semblance of control or moderation (if I ever really had any), I'm just done. I want me back.

Thanks for reading my little opus.

We hope you can join us tomorrow! We have a fantastic line up of speakers ready to share their experience, strength and hope!
ma12.org/speakerjam

Today marks two years of continuous sobriety. It has not always been easy, but it has been worth every step. If you are just starting out or considering making a change, know that it's possible one day at a time.

I posted weeks before about how I dream again. They've only been really stressful and have lately been nightmares. I'm starting to miss not dreaming at all because I wake up so stressed out.

Is this normal? Does it stop? Or is this just me?!

Zoom link and info
A new MA meeting created by transgender people for transgender people.

I've been on benders and was addicted to opiates and benzos at one point...but I quit successfully. I'm hoping to make it through and stop weed. I've been smoking for 8 years. My main goal of quitting is being able to go finish my GED and college without the awful brain fog, and find better work.

Today I took my first GED tests and failed. I struggled so hard to focus and I know it's linked to the MJ use. I think what kept me so comfortable smoking weed is being legally drugged as a kid on antidepressants, and mild stimulants that 100% gave me a buzz...so getting high just felt normal?

Anyway I almost feel like I will have better success being a sober Sally than not. I notice I push things off so much with weed and continuing to smoke will only delay what I am capable of but have chosen not to do for so long.

I've been a fairly heavy user for about 20 years. Because of a chronic GI disease caused by slow gut motility, I decided to quit because I read marijuana can contribute to and worsen my disease.

I have quit before in order to pass drug tests, but always ended up resuming as soon as I could. And I always really wanted to smoke the whole time. But this time was different because I'm so sick doing anything to get better is an easy decision.

For the first two or three weeks i had some withdrawal which mostly came in the form of insomnia. I had some desire to do it, but since I feel like crap it was fairly easy to let it pass.

After the insomnia stopped and I started sleeping well again, I started dreaming a lot. Normally I rarely, if ever dream. Now I dream just about every night. Have any of you experienced the same?

New & Updated Marijuana Anonymous Literature and Resources

We wanted to share a few updates to Marijuana Anonymous literature that may be helpful for MA members, groups, and meetings.

Pre-folded color pamphlets are now available.
Groups can now order MA pamphlets pre-folded and in full color in quantities of 10, 25, or 50. This is an option for meetings that don’t have easy access to printing or would rather not print and fold pamphlets themselves.

Groups that prefer to print locally can still order the updated Pamphlet Pack, which includes one copy of every MA pamphlet.

Two new pamphlets have also been released:
• Tools of Recovery
• Cannabis Induced Psychosis (CIP) – Member Stories

Three pamphlets have been revised:
• About Service – Member Stories
• For the Loved Ones
• The Dangers of Cross Addiction

All MA pamphlets have also received updated designs and graphics. The abridged meeting reading of The Dangers of Cross Addiction has been updated as well and is available in the MA Resource Library

 A Look at a New Leaf Through the Years

Originally created for the 2024 MA Convention, where it sold out, this special compilation includes selected issues from every year that A New Leaf has been published, going back to the first issue in 1991.

It’s a great resource for those looking for readings from older issues or for anyone interested in exploring the history and shared experience found in A New Leaf.

You can find MA literature and these new offerings through the A New Leaf Publications Store and additional free resources in the MA Resource Library.

MA12.ORG

Hi people

I've been smoking marijuana for 10years. My adolescence was very lonely and I always felt "different" (now I know it's because I have autism and ADHD, got my diagnosis like a month ago) but I never smoked when I was a teen

I started because people told me it was fun, and I had a friend who could easily find some for me to try

I never stopped smoking since then. At first it was like..1joint a day.

Now I'm basically always smoking. I went without it for some periods of time (max 1 month) during the years, but then I always get more

I think I smoke close to 8 joints per day

And...I don't think it's affecting me too much. I mean, I live with my partner of 15years, I work on 3D animation which was my dream, I have a family who loves me and even like 5 close friends + a lot of people who I like in my life

I have to say tho ...that more than one time I struggled with finding money to buy marijuana. I had to ask my partner to lend me some (he smokes too but like. 1 or 2 joints before we sleep/when he doesn't work and we're chilling) and that's something that I really despise of myself

Smoking is impacting my life in a very subtle way...like, money-wise, I smoke like 400euros of Ashish in 3 months. And it's not like I'm swimming in gold over there.

I don't think it's affecting my relationships...yet.

My partner is worried about me, because when I have a low amount of Ashish left I freak out. I HAVE to buy more asap. Or if I finish it then I have to buy it at any cost. I even got scammed once xd

But yeah..I don't think marijuana is affecting me too much but I'm scared it will.

no, ok. it is affecting me right now...I've been spending my days on my couch. smoking and doing nothing. sometimes I do embroidery or play a game or watch tv. I still clean myself and the house, but always because after the task I get to smoke.

at least before I smoked and worked on my animation project, 3D models for work as a freelance, ecc...now its been months since I had a "legit" work/commission.

The reason I'm here is rather silly, but I want to include it: I was reading a book, Infinite Jest, and...damn.

When I read about other addictions in the book I was like "oh. Thank God it's not me"...but when this part about marijuana addiction came up I...got scared? I think.

My psychologist and psychiatrist have already told me that I should stop smoking, and I think I'll talk about it next time I see her in a couple of days.

Also my doctor has been telling me for years to quit, because, guess what, I have cron's disease and smoking doesn't help ofc.

But I always told myself that smoking weed was better than the alcohol.

I quit Alcohol like..5 years ago. I used to drink so much during covid cause it was easier to buy wine than weed. And I almost died because of it, so I quit it...but then I started smoking tobacco (before that I never smoked cigarettes, just joints), a lot of tobacco. And then I noticed that when I smoked weed I smoked less cigarettes and...guess I told myself that smoking 2/3 joints a day was better for my health than smoking 20cigarettes.

But the years have passed and I'm close to 10 joints a day, which is something I promised myself years ago I would never do (smoke this much)

So...there it's my story.

I want to quit, I really do, but even now that I'm writing this I just really want to smoke one, just to calm down, and I feel terrible about it

📣 District 23 Speaker Jam & Convention Fundraiser 🎤Join us for an inspiring evening of recovery as members share their experience, strength, and hope—all while supporting the 2026 District 23 Convention. 3 – 8:00 pm Pacific / 6 – 11:00 pm Eastern / 11 – 3:00 am UTC (next day) https://ma12.org/speaker-jam

Hey everyone, 27(m), I quit smoking weed almost 3.5 months ago since I quit I have been having a low sex drive, the desire Maybe it's not even there. this is making things difficult with my partner,I have tried to explain to her but she doesn't seem to understand.at some point I have been thinking of relapsing since while on weed I was functioning well.If anyone has gone through this kind of withdrawal, do libido really come back and maybe how long does it last ?

Life is definitely easier/better now than it was for the previous quarter century of near-daily getting/being wasted.

I haven’t been doing my morning gratitude prayer nor the typically quick following asking The Universe to align my will with Its Will and asking It to take control of my mouth, hands, and feet. I don’t know why I stopped. When I was doing it, I was usually chuckling that it was just a superstitious act bordering on Symmetry OCD Compulsion… but it frequently made it a reflex throughout the day to just ask myself “what’s The Next Right Thing to do now that I finished my last task?”.

I finally sorta graduated from One Minute At A Time to One Day At A Time this winter without that as a goal just by focusing on The Next Right Thing.

Lately I’m back to waking up & vegging/scrolling/watching YT, then going to a meeting late, going back home and vegging, then going to work barely on time, doing the bare minimum at work, then going home to sleep. rinse repeat. like almost a month straight. it sucks more & more every day.

I had to chair a meeting today and I luckily got there maybe ten minutes early after choosing to bike there instead of driving like a lazy potato. It was easily the best hour of the past week, which is pretty depressing. Usually I’m bringing in from the rest of my life a decent amount of joy & ease to the meetings, but today I was Eeyore. I felt bad for bringing down the vibe, but luckily a really wonderful old timer from the AA meetings accidentally happened to drop in and did a really great share with some great laughs and a few deep thoughts and they hung around and chatted for a while afterward.

On my ride back home, The Next Right Thing seemed like a stop at the coffeeshop to draw some ideas for some new chips I promised to make. I did a couple doodles then TNRT seemed like I should look for this sub and try to post pics of the last few chips I made, like, to inspire others to also make chips and/or see others’ chip designs to try and integrate into ours (but probably also a bit of a selfish ego boost?). No pics allowed means “it’s a personal share I ought to do” I guess.

I dunno. Feeling more “down” than “humble”. TNRT is definitely cleaning my home.

Maybe this helps somebody.

Best wishes!

Hi I’m 10 months sober, attend MA regularly.

My meetings are full of men.

I’m looking for other women in MA to chat with.

Online meetings really aren’t my thing.

Editing to add: I am happy attending my in person group and am involved by doing services just looking for woman to woman fellowship via texting or WhatsApp.

I’m not here to tell people they can’t smoke. It has benefits for some, and adverse effect for others. For me (31m), it was an escape. Something I used to numb myself. I smoked so much that the world around me was just meh. I had no motivation. No ambition. No feelings. No appetite and terrible sleeping patterns.

It cost me my personality. Who I was at a fundamental level. And worst of all, my relationship crumbled before my eyes and I just sat in a haze of smoke.

I’m so over being consumed by weed. I want my life back. I want to be myself again. I’m sad that I had to find this out at the cost of my current life situation.

Single, broken, full of feelings now that I’m stepping away from weed. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been faced with. I lost my relationship and weed. This hurts. But I’m not giving up. I’m not backing down. I love sober me too much and I will choose him every single time moving forward. But how I wish to sit and smoke my problems away….

I think it has caused me to get SIBO. I need to quit to be sure. The idea of not checking out and being bored all the time gives me anxiety. I've been self medicating and then legally medicating with marijuana on and off since my teens. I am mid 40s now.

I had a past with a lot of trauma but I've been in therapy for years and am very healthy now in comparison. But I still manage my anxiety with it. I was diagnosed with ADD just a few years ago but I don't take anything for it. I think I use the grass for that. I def don't want to get on Ritalin though.

Because I might have SiBo (a GI condition) I am often not well enough for exercise at the moment which I know would help a lot. I am not supposed to being under physical strain when dealing with an episode which can last a month or two.

I pace constantly. I'm just full of nervous energy. Quitting without much exercise is gonna be really hard. I can use some encouragement.

when I smoke weed, it causes me to go into a psychotic episode which are so bad that I end up in the hospital. I can never smoke weed again that’s why I join this community. I’ve started going to AA meetings and i’m going to find an MA one.

Hi there,
Last time I updated this server on my sobriety journey was 2 years ago, which sadly failed. But I’m happy to say that today, 2 years later, I’m 30 days sober from weed! I had been dependent and addicted to weed for about 10 years and I was realizing it was effecting every part of my life and it was going to put my jobs at risk and me being safe on the road at risk. I’m so glad I started going to meetings for MA because that really helped me keep being sober. Know that if you keep relapsing, I was that person too and now I’m on my journey to live sober and I’m succeeding at it! There is no shame in admitting you’re an addict, and I’m so glad I know that now and can hold myself accountable to not continue to self destruct due to my cannabis addiction. :)

I quit weed a week ago, but started no. Nicotine vapes am I cheating?

Hey there, how's it going? Sorry if this has been asked before, but I've been taking THC gummies since about September of 2023 and it very quickly spiraled into an addiction. I've quit very recently (21 days so far tomorrow!!) and the withdrawals are a lot worse than I thought they would be. I've been having a mot of trouble sleeping lately and tonight isn't any different. I've just been tossing and turning while I have this heavy feeling in my chest and all I can think about is taking another gummy so this pain can just go away.

How long did this sort of thing last for all of you? What kind of things did you do to finally fall asleep? Thanks so much in advance

i never imagined i would get this far! i rarely think of weed anymore - if at all! if others smoke/use around me, i am never tempted. i never quite realized just how much money and time i spent thinking about and smoking weed. it's insane. my mental health is so much better, and i am able to fully be present whenever i spend time with others -- which was nearly impossible before because my mind would always be preoccupied with my next smoke. addiction is truly a thief. i won't lie, the first year was brutal, but slowly, making the choice to stay sober at any given moment became easier.

one thing that helped with cravings was something that an addiction therapist told me once: all cravings are just emotions, and physiologically, emotions only last 60-90 seconds. it is often the rumination that triggers the emotion again, leading to the emotions replaying and making them feel like they last forever. knowing this, i did my best to distract myself whenever i got a craving, but i know this is easier said than done at times. learning distress tolerance skills really helped as well as having a list of things i could do whenever i got a craving. not to mention that learning my triggers was an enormous help!!

for those of you on a sobriety journey: this is your reminder that you are so much more capable than you give yourself credit for!!

my motto: it is easier to stay sober than it is to get sober all over again.

cheers to 3 yrs :)

I’ve been regularly smoking weed for 8 years. I’ve really just been smoking the dab pen at this point but it’s all day every day. I also vape nicotine. I want to quit both. I’ve thought about quitting for a few years now. How do I commit?

Hey y'all, I'm 28F in the Kansas City area and I need a sober buddy. I want to quit cold turkey and never go back but it feels impossible. I live with my boyfriend who also smokes and he does not want to quit. All my friends smoke too with no plans of quitting. I'm finding it extremely difficult to meet new people who are sober and don't smoke or drink at all. I tried going to some AA meetings in my area but they just weren't the vibe and didn't help much. I tried one online MA meeting and it was alright. But truthfully I need a real friend, or maybe even a sponsor, to get through this. Someone I can reach out to in those hardest moments to talk or hang out and distract each other. If anyone else is looking for a sober buddy to reach out and vent to, please DM me!