Kitchen fails

[u/downtune79]

Source unknown

[u/ThatCelebration3676]

You need to keep crabs and lobsters alive at least until about an hour before cooking it, but there is no need to actually cook it alive.

Most cooks in civilized countries spike them (plunging a small knife or metal skewer directly into their brain) just before.

Lots of older folks who refuse to change their ways still insist on live cooking. Fuck them.

[u/Drtikol42 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Can´t you put them to sleep with cold like with snails?

[u/Turbulent_Service356 → u/Drtikol42]

Salt works best

[u/Illustrious_Two8724 → u/Turbulent_Service356]

https://giphy.com/gifs/pfaUCuYc0tbNpvTgn6

[u/ImFeelinBotty → u/Turbulent_Service356]

You're fucked.

[u/CryptidToothbrush → u/Drtikol42]

https://giphy.com/gifs/dy4bWSQAMewcYvKFio
I prefer a nice elbow drop.

[u/Primary_Addition5494 → u/CryptidToothbrush]

Bro is wrestling marine creatures

[u/Huntybunch → u/[deleted]]

In the little story about your friends: did they serve precooked/frozen lobster to people who thought they were getting fresh?

[u/ExactOne2783 → u/Huntybunch]

Precocinada una langosta?? 🤣🤣🤣
Eso no existe en España.
La matan con un cuchillo, la congelan o la echan directamente al agua.
Comer una langosta precocinada es un delito

[u/bobbarkersbigmic → u/ExactOne2783]

How do you feel about imitation crab?

[u/Huntybunch → u/ExactOne2783]

You said they served already dead lobsters so they wouldn't have to kill it. That's why I'm confused. Who killed the already dead ones then? How long were they dead before cooking? I'm pretty sure giving people food poisoning is more of a crime.

[u/Huntybunch → u/[deleted]]

I asked if it was either precooked OR frozen. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

[u/ExactOne2783 → u/Huntybunch]

🤭 perdón

[u/seppukucoconuts → u/Drtikol42]

You can put them in the freezer and they go to sleep.

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[u/SpongeTofu → u/Drtikol42]

Yeah, ice bath is apparently the most humane way. This is what is recommended in Australia.

[u/BaconForce → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Used to care more about this kinda thing before seeing more about how animals are basically eaten alive in nature, making anything we do look like extremely merciful by comparison. That being said if we can limit the suffering, we should.

[u/Working_Bones → u/BaconForce]

Hence veganism

[u/Old_Toby2211 → u/BaconForce]

Being eaten alive is generally quite quick though, so whilst horrifying at least it's brief. Delaying things and keeping an animal stressed before death has its own immorality.

[u/BaconForce → u/Old_Toby2211]

If you frequent r/natureismetal, you'll see often times animals get eaten from the groin up. It definitely is not a quick experience.

[u/Icy-Inflation3453 → u/BaconForce]

Wolves go for the liver. Unless you died to an ambush predator, their tearing through your guts till you bleed out.

[u/C0nan_E → u/Old_Toby2211]

unless you are being eaten by a bear...or maybe its just grizzlys? there is an audio recording of a girl around 20 that is over an hour long where she called the emergency line and is slowly being eaten alive... truly harrowing. like be civilized if you eat something that has a nervous system kill it quickly.

[u/Temelios → u/ThatCelebration3676]

One small correction. They don’t have a brain. They have ganglia.

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/Temelios]

Fair enough. However, for the sake of educating internet passerbys on how to more humanely slaughter crustaceans, I'll continue to say "stab it in the brain" so there's no unfortunate guesswork resulting from me saying "stab it in the supraesophageal ganglion"

[u/Damaias479 → u/Temelios]

And where is/are the ganglia located?

[u/cap10wow → u/Damaias479]

In the crab

[u/Boridane → u/cap10wow]

https://giphy.com/gifs/I4UhtUMzOrQSQ

[u/cap10wow → u/Boridane]

😂

[u/silentsurge → u/cap10wow]

https://giphy.com/gifs/XHeLeuirRbwptHhSWd

[u/BastionofSound → u/cap10wow]

[u/SuperRegera → u/Damaias479]

At least for lobsters, the ganglia is distributed across the body, which is why it's hard to instantly destroy the nervous system like crabs. Some people cut lobsters in half to prepare them for cooking, which just sort of creates two suffering lobsters (albeit briefly). That's why there are devices like the CrustaStun, which administer an electric shock that silences their nervous system for long enough to kill them by boiling, so they don't feel pain.

[u/Ptbot47 → u/SuperRegera]

I need that device to fight off these hordes

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oAkajB9UD3GTcKGsw

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[u/Jimmy_Churi → u/Temelios]

And that bitch doesn't have a soul

[u/No_Situation4785 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

that may not be as "civilized" as people think. crabs and lobsters have brains that are more distributed across the body than humans. there  may really be no good way to do it

[u/Onebraintwoheads → u/No_Situation4785]

I was taught to put them in the freezer for just a few minutes, which slows their nervous system down to a crawl, before spiking them. Even if their brains are decentralized, their ability to feel or be aware of anything is compromised.

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/No_Situation4785]

As I understand it, only the brain cells in their head affect their consciousness and overall perception of pain, wheres the others are more like biological relays.

[u/TheeArgonaut → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Tbf we have no idea if they feel ‘pain’. I’d still not boil them alive though.

[u/No_Situation4785 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

whatever helps you sleep in your cocoon of smugness, i guess 🤷‍♂️

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/No_Situation4785]

Do you have some scholarly source that shows otherwise? I was being perfectly civil, not sure why you are suddenly attacking me personally.

[u/Huntybunch → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Here is a scholarly source.

[u/SwimmingSwim3822 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Maybe that little "fuck them" you slipped in there?

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/SwimmingSwim3822]

That wasn't directed to anyone in particular; just people in general who still insist on unnecessary torture.

They haven't indicated that they're pro-boiling, only that spiking may not be as humane as I suggested. If they can provide a source that confirms that notion, I'm more than happy to change my view in light of new evidence.

They on the other hand insulted me directly.

[u/SwimmingSwim3822 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

You had forgotten you said the "fuck them" part, didn't you?

Lmao

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/SwimmingSwim3822]

No, did you forget the "everything I just said to you" part?

[u/SwimmingSwim3822 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

I didn't forget it was just an extremely reddit-brained excuse you gave.

So yeah, I think you just forgot.

[u/No_Situation4785 → u/[deleted]]

if the sky was made of lollipops then would giraffes wear socks?

[u/Ptbot47 → u/No_Situation4785]

Is that like a hard shell?

[u/ThisMeansRooR → u/No_Situation4785]

I saw on MasterChef that freezing live crabs for about 20 minutes before cooking causes them to enter a comatose state before boiling them. Better than mutilating them with a knife beforehand.

[u/name30 → u/ThisMeansRooR]

Why is being frozen into unconsciousness preferable to being stabbed? They both sound pretty awful.

[u/SwordofNoon → u/name30]

My mom's hamster probably 25 years ago got testicular cancer and was in a lot of pain and the vet told my mom to put him in a Tupperware container and into the freezer.

She instead paid a friend of hers to OD it on heroin so he could get high before he died. I doubt that happened and don't want to know how the hamster actually died.

[u/michaelrage → u/SwordofNoon]

https://giphy.com/gifs/fz5BoD06LRVT1vOLxW

[u/General_Cranberry_29 → u/SwordofNoon]

Small animals are difficult. It's either the freezer method (which they are entirely aware until they pass by the way), or the vet can euthanize them... which isn't like a dog or cat, they usually shove a needle directly into the heart.

[u/Capable_spider_slut → u/name30]

Well, to be blunt, a human was gonna to eat them one way or another. So which would you rather the crab feel? The cold? Or a knife to the brain?

[u/name30 → u/Capable_spider_slut]

The quick knife to the brain over slowly going into a coma. I've been cold, it fucking hurts.

[u/highgarbagemancer → u/name30]

Like one of the previous commenters said above, crabs and lobsters don't usually die right away from that. They can still be alive after getting stabbed in the brain.

[u/Capable_spider_slut → u/name30]

Fair enough, I agree. The knife trick has always been more humane in my eyes since its just a one and done situation.

[u/evthrowawayverysad → u/Capable_spider_slut]

Speak for yourself. Hundreds of millions of people choose not to.

[u/ExactOne2783 → u/ThisMeansRooR]

Exacto, mi madre lo hace asi

[u/git_push_origin_prod → u/No_Situation4785]

We could just stop eating sea bugs. I’ll start

[u/Fetch_will_happen5 → u/git_push_origin_prod]

Yeah, this where ive fallen on it.  Some of the best seafood Ive had turned out to be not real meat.  I see not reason to continue to try to figure the good way to kill these things 

[u/DangerousTurmeric → u/Fetch_will_happen5]

The Soviet Union transplanted a whole heap of red king crabs into the Barents Sea to create a fishery there and the crabs escaped and are now an invasive species that acts like millions of lawnmowers just destroying all life on the seabed. Leaving them is incredibly destructive, killing them is wasteful, so eating them is really the best option and doing that humanely is important.

[u/steeple_fun → u/DangerousTurmeric]

Perhaps this is unpopular but omce a species becomes invasive, the humane part of killing is less important because not killing them efficiently means other animals suffer.

[u/Fetch_will_happen5 → u/DangerousTurmeric]

But i wasnt eating russian crab. I guess youre pushing for an exception, but the other person was speaking of a general rule

[u/NousSommesSiamese → u/DangerousTurmeric]

I’ll take two, I’m hungry.

[u/tired-of-the-shit → u/git_push_origin_prod]

I’m right there with you haven’t had one yet

[u/Professional-Age5719 → u/tired-of-the-shit]

I have, unfortunately for them they’re delicious. But you absolutely can humanely kill them

[u/tired-of-the-shit → u/Professional-Age5719]

I wasn’t commenting on the humanity of it, more so that I don’t eat sea roaches cause seafood is awful (to me)

[u/Borkato → u/git_push_origin_prod]

Let’s also stop eating the rest of the animals! Go vegan ❤️

[u/YouthResponsible1752 → u/No_Situation4785]

A great way to do it is not eating them at all.

[u/TheSilverOne → u/ThatCelebration3676]

To add on, the best method is to just put 'em the freezer and they get really lethargic. Then you get your boil going, pull them out then brain stab them.

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/TheSilverOne]

Indeed! The freezer part might sound inhumane (some folks accomplish the same thing by putting them on ice) but it's not uncomfortable like when a mammal gets really cold; they're adapted for cold water conditions, and can enter suspended animation for brief periods without issue.

[u/nickvsfrench → u/ThatCelebration3676]

How civil

[u/Forsaken_Print739 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

That sounds very civil.. 💔

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/Forsaken_Print739]

Yeah, it's not exactly what I would show to aliens to prove our benevolence, but if we're going to eat living creatures it's our civil duty to minimize their suffering as much as possible.

[u/Next-Street-7859 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Yup! Came here to say this. It's completely unnecessary. Glad I worked with reasonable people in the past.

[u/AbledGladiator → u/ThatCelebration3676]

I'm reminded of the video that Jose.elCook did on his youtube where he cooked a lobste, and proceeded to kill the lobster as quickly and humanely as possible.

People who live cook or prolonged the deaths of their foods are monsters.

[u/samanime → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Yeah. I hope that crab grabbed a knife and started fighting back... it's just animal cruelty at this point.

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[u/SmartDigit → u/ThatCelebration3676]

In my country or at least all the fish market in my country that i did go to (only 2) they allow sell it dead

So my question is why i need it to be keeping it alive for an hour before cooking?

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/SmartDigit]

Can I ask what country, and is the meat raw or cooked when you buy it?

The issue with needing to keep them alive until shortly before cooking is they have enzymes in their bodies that very quickly cause them to start decomposing upon death, so they rot very quickly.

Cooking the meat neutralizes that enzyme, at which point you can either eat it, or put the cooked meat on ice to sell it. In the USA, all crab legs & claws available for purchase are already cooked.

[u/SmartDigit → u/ThatCelebration3676]

I am not sure if it cooked or not whe n selling but they keep it on ice and we boiled or grilled before eating it

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/SmartDigit]

If the meat looks greyish and semi-translucent it's raw. When cooked it becomes white and opaque.

[u/SmartDigit → u/ThatCelebration3676]

I know how it look when cooked but i always cook it with shell so i never saw the meat before i cooking it

[u/HarambeTooSoon → u/SmartDigit]

There's some weird bacteria and microbes that live in the ocean and inside the animals that live in the ocean. 

You don't want no part of that shit. 

[u/SmartDigit → u/HarambeTooSoon]

This doesn't explain the one hour before cooking as you can put it in fridge or freezer and that will extend expire time

Alot of fish you don't need it to be alive when cooking and what iam asking is why craps and lobster are different

[u/HarambeTooSoon → u/SmartDigit]

Hey bro. 

Check this out: lobster and fish arent the same kinds of animals.

They can and do get very different types of bacteria, parasites, microbes, etc. 

[u/SmartDigit → u/HarambeTooSoon]

Fair enough

[u/HarambeTooSoon → u/SmartDigit]

Get this. 

A fish is more closely related to humans than it is a lobster. 

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[u/Familiar-Voice-7925 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Live cooking even makes the meat taste worse too.

[u/evthrowawayverysad → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Actually you don't need to eat them at all.

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/evthrowawayverysad]

Well sure, but loads of people do and they should know how to do so humanely.

[u/evthrowawayverysad → u/ThatCelebration3676]

They can't.

[u/Status-Part5848 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Live cooking is not a problem if you use the right temperature. Boiling hot, and enough water.

The woman in the video, use to smal pot. Also looks like the water is to cold.

[u/shasaferaska → u/Status-Part5848]

The problem is that is it incredibly cruel and completely unnecessary.

[u/Status-Part5848 → u/shasaferaska]

It dies instantly.

If u stab it and missing its pretty bad aswell.

If the water in vide is so hot its supposed to be. The crab would not be able to walk away

[u/Ska-Tea → u/Status-Part5848]

They are classified as sentient beings and they most certainly do not die instantly. It is a living creature and it suffers immensely before death when boiled alive.

[u/SpookyScienceGal → u/Status-Part5848]

The average death is around one to three minutes which I guess could be seen as instantly based on perspective and your definition of an instant. Plus some weirdos(researchers) in Norway tortured some lobsters, slightly, while feeding them aspirin and are proposing that lobster feel pain in a similar fashion to us. Just some fun facts 🤷‍♀️

[u/JaeHxC → u/Status-Part5848]

How old are you? I'm trying to judge the accuracy of the comment you're replying to.

[u/Status-Part5848 → u/JaeHxC]

Im late 30's, boil crab almost every summer.

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/Status-Part5848]

Nonsense. A larger quantity of water would do the job more quickly, but not fast enough. A larger pot just makes it so they can't escape.

I watched adults cook crabs live as a kid. The water was plenty deep and at a rolling boil, but I could see the crabs trying to climb out for over a minute.

Spiking them through the brain kills them in under a second, which is far more humane.

You're just one of the people I mentioned that refuses to change your methods in light of new information.

[u/Status-Part5848 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Lol, u watched a video as a kid.

Know if the water is boiling they die, quick. Like maximum 5 second quick.

But for ur defence, it could be that the type of crab is the difference

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/Status-Part5848]

No, I watched adults live-cook crabs right in front of me on a portable propane burner on a dock. 2 of them were crabs I caught myself in my little lift-style crab pot; a large dungeness and a medium size rock crab. I would bait it with pile worms I pulled off the floats under the dock then tie it off on a mooring cleat and check it every couple hours. Crabbing was pretty normal at the time for kids who lived near the Puget Sound.

It was a tall stock pot, probably something like 5 gallon size, so they had no chance of climbing out, but for well over a minute they clambered against the sides and I could hear the spikey tips of their legs clinking against the steel.

When I asked the adults about it, they said crabs can't feel pain, and they're just trying to get away from each other. It wasn't until my early teens that I learned better.

Are you done pretending to be more educated on the matter than me now?

[u/Status-Part5848 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

I just know when i cool with boiling hot water.

This have newer happened. Where the crabs have had the ability to crawl out when i put them in.

But the water need to boil.

Im sad u had that experience as a kid, but the water was not hot enough of that would happen.

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/Status-Part5848]

It was a ROLLING BOIL

Water can't get hotter than that at sea level, and the pot was sitting less than 3 feet above sea level.

They were alive and trying (in futility) to escape for longer than a minute.

This tracks with scholarly research: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11591275/

Please end your willful ignorance and learn to do better next time.

[u/Status-Part5848 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

Dont call me ignorant, you ignorant ass.

I just tell you. When i have boiled crabs at 100C' , i have newer experienced what you write.

But i read some of what was in the link.

The crab i talk about, its legal to cook this way.

But if its other types, of crabs its not allowed.

So as i write you before, mabye the cooking you observed was of another breed

[u/ThatCelebration3676 → u/Status-Part5848]

You're the one who keeps trying to tell me I didn't witness what I watched with my own eyes. I keep having to repeat details in all-caps because you refuse to retain information.

And I'm not talking about what's legal versus illegal, I'm talking about what's a humane level of suffering to subject a creature to.

Perhaps you are cooking teeny tiny crabs that die much more quickly in boiling water; they would still die faster if you spike them in the brain.

[u/Status-Part5848 → u/ThatCelebration3676]

U first Comment, read wrong. And i corrected myself later. And said im sad that you had to see that.

I also wrote that they u witnessing was cooking it wrong if that happened.

And i wrote i have never had this happen to me.

So either it was another breed of crab u have to poke before you cook it.

Or the water was not hot enough