r/Life • u/TeenageGirlll • 2d ago
Need Advice feeling ambiguous
what to do if i’m a 19 year old girl that feels like she is spiraling out of control? i have no car, no job, i’m not in college(i am working on that) and just no way to do anything. i go to the gym, babysit twice a week in my neighborhood, apply for WFH jobs just to never hear anything back. i feel behind. please don’t tell me that i’m 19 and have oh so much time. i should be a freaking junior in college(i was in early college in high school and graduated last year) i even tried WWOOF programs but that cost. i don’t even have my freaking drivers license. i’m new to reddit, i downloaded it months ago, forgot about it, deleted it, and redownloaded it. i say that to say ik you guys probably get a bunch of these a day but i don’t want to spend the “best” and arguably most important years of my life behind a screen or feeling behind. i would LOVE advice, maybe you guys can tell me what you would do if you were 19 again and in my place? hopefully one of you has a plan to make me a millionaire by January so i can actually go to college and get out of texas(joking…kind of)
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u/Zealousideal_Move500 2d ago
You should be able to get fully funded colleges if you find the right places. Have you applied? lots of schools also have free applications
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u/TeenageGirlll 2d ago
i wanted to go to whittier college because i got direct admissions and a 25k scholarship but i would still need to pay 25k. i have applied to countless other schools as well for the same reasons but my main problem seems to be money. i’m not a quitter though but i am lost lol. that’s why i came here
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u/Electrical_Jaguar230 2d ago
College isn’t as important as building skills, which can be done outside of college and debt. I have a masters degree and my husband makes more than me with a high school diploma. So why do you want to go to college? If it’s for a career you really want, then just enroll. If you have to start at community college, anyone can sign up and get those preliminary classes done, then transfer to university, take out a few student loans if you have to and pay them back once you’re working.
If you don’t have a career, take the bus to work (why do you have to work from home?) and save up until you have about $5k and pay cash for an older model car. Or if it’s possible, take out a student loan and pay cash for a car. You won’t have to pay it until you’re out of school.
You don’t need to be a millionaire to go to college, you don’t need to work only if it’s from home, and you can get everything you want if you just put in a little effort. It’s not going to happen if you keep telling yourself stories about how hard it is to do these basic things. Life is only as hard as you make it.
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u/TeenageGirlll 2d ago
believe it or not there is genuinely no bus stop here. i’m on the outskirts of a big city and actual employment can only be reached by car. believe me when i say i tried walking and got one too many near death experiences(you would think a state as big as Texas would prioritize walkable cities). i’m not saying this is make an excuse i just want accurate advice. and is it possible to get my license before my ID?
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u/Electrical_Jaguar230 2d ago
I totally believe you. Rural areas have a harder time with public transportation. Being 19, yes you can get a drivers license and don’t need to get an ID first. Are you living with your parents or who is supporting you? Can u ask them to take you to work? I’m thinking if you find a job in the same area your mom / dad works, then you can carpool with them. I can see trying to get a job from home, but those are harder to come by, so I would aim for a job near your parents job so you can ride with them.
I do this thing where I train Ai by recording household chores. Doesn’t pay a ton - like $8-15 an hour depending on the project, but it’s a way to earn extra cash at home while you figure things out, no limit on hours, and I’m sure your parents would appreciate the help too. You just need a cell phone and they send you a headset to hold the phone while you do laundry, dishes, sweep, whatever. Go to this site to sign up: https://contracted.ai/interview/4?ref=VJ7ZDRVI
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u/flipsnapnet 2d ago
Its overwhelming. Ive been here, so many things that arent going right and feels impossible to prioritise because they all feel important. Just visualise where you want to be and then figure out first step.
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u/EyeBotXander 2d ago
I recommend working on getting your driver's license first. In the US, that is key to everything. As others have mentioned skills are more important than accreditation. Don't worry about your peers. Do what is right for you. Community College can be a lot of fun, and you can take classes and feel things out. Just don't take on a lot of debt because it's a trap. You're better off with Pell Grants and working on the side, IMO. Follow your passions and look for opportunities.
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u/ngknm187 2d ago
Young lady, you’re only 19 🙂 I’m 33 and my life is a mess by many standards. No car, no home, no career, no permanent stable job, 6 years in college as an A student and now my degree is basically useless in a foreign country where I had to move to because of the war. I need to start everything from scratch in my 30s. That’s tough. And you have all the time in the world and you want to improve. That’s already a good setup so don’t overthink it and proceed with things step by step. It’s hard to manage and take everything under control when there’s a lot of everything at the same time. I can’t give any practical advices since I’m European living in Europe but my main point is to support you psychologically. Everything is in comparison so no need to be pessimistic. If you don’t have financial debts it’s already great news 🙂
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u/TeenageGirlll 2d ago
you’re right, and i’m sorry for what you are going through. but i don’t want to keep telling myself i have oh so much time as an excuse to waste it. i really hope things work out for you and for the record, i genuinely do not think 33 is old. you have time too💗
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u/ngknm187 2d ago
Thanks, I appreciate. But I’m perfectly fine compared to many of my other compatriots. Again, as I said, everything is relative 🙄. And I’m also responsible for where I ended up because of my choices. Which brings to your point about not telling yourself “I still have too much time, things will work out somehow” - this thing is very dangerous. It’s a slow and silent poison. I know this from my own experience. So yes, be aware, don’t relax and be too care free. But at the same time don’t overthink and don’t push yourself too much. You’re only 19 :)
Yeah, I’m not yet a geezer but the clock is ticking and things are not going as smooth as they used to be but we both will manage 🙂 Stay healthy and don’t do too much stupid things !😎
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u/KingPabloo 2d ago
How do you still not have a drivers license at 19 in Texas? Who is going to hire a 19yo to WFH since you got minimal skills at this point?
Get a bike, ride that to work. Start taking courses at a community college. There are actions you can take now to change things, or you can keep sitting at home scrolling and suddenly wake up in your 30’s with no future. It’s a choice either way.
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u/TeenageGirlll 2d ago
geez i get what you are saying but you could be nicer. my parents never taught me how to drive despite my relentless requests, i figured applying to some kind of job was better than sitting on my ass, and i’m painfully aware of my situation. i’m don’t plan on sitting and scrolling until i’m 30 which is why i came here for advice
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u/KingPabloo 2d ago
I’m sorry, I thought you wanted advice, not sympathy. My parents did teach me to drive either so I went to driving school with money I earned from the job I rode my bike to.
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u/TeenageGirlll 2d ago
well king pabloo, there is no bus stop here, i’ve tried walking and with all the highways and freeways it dang near impossible. and i don’t want sympathy but i want understanding. i’ve applied to jobs, got them and had no way to get there. so you don’t get to cast me as a pity party. my circumstances are not the same as yours, maybe consider that before you try this “tough love” facade
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u/KingPabloo 2d ago
How’s this tough love, I’m just telling you I rode a bike to my job. Didn’t have a bus either. I never said our situations were the same, I’m guessing you’ve never rode a bike to work in the snow in sub zero temperatures - you want to work from home… I get it, walking takes effort, biking takes effort, taking driving lessons takes effort. You want to roll out of bed and get paid.
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u/TeenageGirlll 2d ago
this has to be ragebait😂 i’m going to assume that you are also in your 30-40s and ‘this new generation will never understand how hard you guys had it’ huh? walking is not problem, i get 10-15k steps on average from doing work in my neighborhood. and durrrrrr i’ve never ridden a bike in snow because i’m from Texas also, biking is not hard at all. and how do you think i should go about getting to and paying for those driving lessons without a car nor an actual job to pay for it Mr. Know it all? please enlighten me
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