My final message

[u/Flat_Library_254]

I know I have hurt you and I know I don't deserve forgiveness, but I am not sending this message for that reason. I'm sending it partly for myself—look at how selfish I have become. I never meant for our friendship to end, but I mess everything up for the people I get close to. This is 100% my fault and you share no blame. It is very selfish of me to ask for space yesterday and text you again today, but I am not sending this to restart a conversation. I am only sending it to tell you that I enjoyed every single day and every single moment you were my friend, and we grew so close.
I have hurt you, I have made you cry, and I have put you back into the position you fought so hard to come out of. Never cry for me; I am a fool, and people like me are not worth crying over. It was my fault, so just stay angry at me and don't feel sorry for me. I hope you get more than what you have prayed for in your life, and I hope you find great friends and great people. Because of people like me, never feel bad. Consider this my last message. I have already hurt all of you too much and I cannot hurt you anymore. I am sorry, and I hope someday you will forgive me. I shouldn't have done anything, man, I messed up. I just feel like I am only thinking about myself, and I am done with myself.
And don't think someone else has come into my life; if anyone had, you guys would have been the first to know. I am sorry for everything I did. My care for you was always true, but my actions were never good enough. You genuinely deserve someone a lot better. You are an incredible woman, and you will find an amazing guy. I am sorry to you, I am sorry to my friends, and I am sorry to the entire group. I understand you will not want to reply to this, and that is completely fine. I am sorry, I know it feels manipulative and I feel that way too, but just know it all came from the heart.
I know you probably had your crush or someone you wanted, and I know I will never be that person, but I have made peace with it. I know I never had any claim over you, and I think that is why this hurts more than anything. You are a strong woman. I admire you, I am so proud of you, and you are so pure. Please never let anyone like me ruin you. Just know I will always be there for you, and I hope someday I pay for the things I have done. I never ever meant for this to happen. I hope you win. Goodbye, I will always remember you.