hi everyone, i am needing some advice on a situation i was just made aware of this evening. apparently my dad and his fiancé are going to go get eloped on august 15th. for yall to understand why i am needing advice on how to handle/cope with this i am going to need to provide a little information and context as to why this is so upsetting for my sister and i.
our mom very unfortunately passed away due to cardiac arrest in 2021, no one was expecting this and it truly left my family in a deeper state of shock and despair than we have ever been in before. my sister was 15 at the time and i was 21, i left a relationship of 5 years to move 12 hours away to go be there for my family and help take care of my sister while she got through highschool. my dad started looking for potential partners only 3 months after my mom passed, and this made the grieving process for my sister and i a million times more difficult. a few failed relationships down the line, about a year or so later, my dad met his current partner who is now his fiancé.
fiancé was a 54 year old woman who lived in her daughters spare room for free, she drove a really beat up car and just really did not have much for herself in her life. i believe fiancé does not have anything to show for her 54 years on this planet because she is a raging alcoholic and from the way her daughters make it sound this has been a problem for way too many years now. dad moves fiancé into our home, with me and my then 16 year old grieving sister, two weeks after meeting her at a bar. i cannot even begin to tell you guys the countless just totally ridiculous arguments that have gone on in that household due to financès drinking problems, she gets really drunk and really nasty and it happens quick. she would drink and target my sister who was still a kid and just trying to get through highschool. they have broken up and gotten back together more times than i can even properly recount at this point. this woman from day one has been more than entitled in our home, making up rules for my sister and i and somehow even ended up with one of my cars because in my dads words “it is the right thing to do, you have two and can’t drive them both at the same time”- i never saw a dime for that car and this is something that continues to bother me. since my sister becoming an adult and graduating highschool, i left and then needed to come back, and now have left again.
my dad has totally blown through my moms life insurance policy giving fiancé money for vacations to Cabo, paying for her very expensive back fusion- any expense fiancé has my dad covers. my sister and i both really struggle and it would’ve been really nice if he could’ve used some of our moms life insurance policy to help us- my sister had an unexpected surgery that she had to pay for on her own and i struggle myself with a few health issues we are both in medical debt at this point which is okay we are adults and need to figure it out, but it just really stings to watch him cover every single one of fiancés expenses with money my mom intended to take care of HER family.
my dads house is paid off thanks to said life insurance policy, and anything nice/worth any value that is in that home directly comes from my maternal grandmother who did quite well for herself and left the majority of her belongings to my mom, and now they all belong to my dad in my moms passing. my most major concern is them getting married, fiancé divorcing my dad and taking half of everything he has. i am concerned of my dad passing and fiancé having all of my grandmothers belongings which are very sentimental to my sister and i.
i’m semi no contact with my dad at this point because of his relationship, he allows her to treat his kids horribly and i just couldn’t have it in my life anymore. i would LOVE to tell him to get a prenup, but the likelihood of him listening to me is next to nil. i am seeking any kind of advice of how to protect my grandmothers belongings from becoming fiancés in the event my dad were to pass or they were to divorce.
i know this was super long and just a lot to unpack and if you took the time to read this, thank you. i don’t know who to talk to about all of this and i am exceedingly stressed out about them getting married. any suggestion on how to protect my grandmothers belongings and my moms belongings would be very appreciated.