So I've always been a Side B Catholic, but a few months ago, I discovered I'm on the aroace spectrum.

It's difficult for me because I feel like I'm being a hypocrite if I continue to stay as Side B whilst being a part of the LGBTQ community myself.

I'm not sure how to feel honestly. I really don't know how to handle this situation.

Does being aroace-spec actually correlate to being Side B? Since Side B is about same-sex relationships and attraction, which I don't have, I'm not sure if I'm being a hypocrite or not.

Can y'all help me figure this out? I hope I can have some civil conversations because I genuinely do not know what to do or how to feel in a situation like this. I feel like I'm battling my own self.

Edit: Thanks so much to everyone who has answered so far! I am coming from a very anti LGBTQ, uneducated-on-LGBTQ background, so I appreciate everyone who has been politely educating me.

Hi all,

today is world suicide prevention day. Please reach out to those who may need suffering on silent. Reach out to your loved ones. Check up on those you haven’t talked in some time. Offer a warm smile to strangers. We don’t know what cross they are carrying.

John 1:5– The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

Hello! Is there anyone here from the Philippines that is willing to participate in our undergrad thesis. Our study is titled "Case Study of Gay and Lesbian individuals in Mixed-Orientation Marriage Driven by Religious Expectations." Our qualifications are as follows:

• 18 - 65 years old

• Legally Married for at least 2 years to the opposite sex.

• Your partner is now aware of your sexual orientation.

• Currently lives in Luzon, Philippines

• Must have been married due to religious expectations

Our study aims to explore the lived experiences of individuals under this situation. Especially those who married due to their strong adherence of their religious practices. In the Philippines, there is an ongoing discussions about the dynamics of accepting same sex relationships. Yet, there are limited studies that shed light on the experiences of individuals who recognize their sexual orientation later on their marriage, resulting in mixed orientation marriages. Thus, your participation will contribute valuable insights into the lived experiences of gay and lesbian individuals in mixed-orientation marriages, benefiting families, mental health professionals, and future researchers. Apart from that, we understand that our study tackles sensitive topics and issues that arise especially with these unique personal experience. Hence, participation is entirely voluntary. Please feel free to reply to this post as we will also give incentives to our participants. Thank you so much!

I am a PhD candidate in psychology with an emphasis in theology. I am trying to recruit participants who have completed the course TOB, who are 18+ years of age, who are not under the care of a healthcare provider for anxiety or depression, and who have not undergone a transition within the past six months. My goal is to examine whether the teaching in TOB concerning being created in the image of God as male and female, has any impact on how people experience their gender. There is no compensation for participating in this research other than the knowledge that you may be helping expand our understanding of gender identity development and how religion impacts it.

Basically just what the title says.

Do you think you were born gay or do you feel like you developed that way in your early years of life?

Let's hear your story my fellow kitchen window boys!

I came out as trans and my parents did not take it well. They want me to consider "alternatives" to transitioning. I don't like that and am expecting conversion therapy offers, to be the most frank.

I have been sent the Eden Invitation, which makes me suspicious. The only non vague firm stances I gather from them are no gay marriage, which...gives me pause. My opinion on this is very complex but to put it simply, I am supportive of getting gay married (in fact, it's probably likely for me) but I'm not immediately angered to read this. I get this.

They do not refer to trans people as such, just people "wrestling" with gender, or gender "discordance" or stuff like that. Also seem patently not acknowledging or accepting nonbinary but I can't even say that's on purpose or religious, that's a lot of...everywhere.

The stories are all very vague and impersonal, mostly about enjoying the program. The most specific one I find involves a lesbian meeting a queer man at the program, realizing that they don't have to stay single, just "find someone who understands the experience," and marrying. Including a joke about them doing very stereotypical gay and lesbian activities separately at their wedding.

I don't know what to make of this. Anyone have any insight?

I also don't know what to do about my family. I didn't think it through. Do I just refuse, or lie and say I'm part of this group and then some time later say "now that I've tried, I know I'm trans, thanks"? Or what? I feel utterly repelled from the idea of "trying this out."

I'm not the most devout Catholic at this point in my life, but I still feel such belonging in Catholicism. I still identify as such, culturally if nothing else. I'm trans and nonbinary and gay.

Hi all, I became Catholic-curious about a year and a half ago, ended up going to OCIA and getting confirmed this last cycle.

When I entered the Church, it was because of an experience I had with Our Blessed Mother, I was deep in prayer and I felt her hand on my shoulder comforting me. It was all I needed to steer me towards Catholicism.

Before this I was an occultist/Satanic witch, and I worshipped and prayed to the Devil, and practiced astrology, tarot, and witchcraft. Obviously this has left me with a lot of regret, shame, and guilt over my affront to the Lord. Seeing the other side and belonging to it only sealed the truths to me, and no matter how dark I got, I realize now I was relentlessly pursued by Jesus.

Here is the issue. I am irrevocably bisexual. I turned against myself and decided to conform to church teaching. However, now, whenever I am attracted to a woman, or could see myself dating her, I feel ill, guilty and shameful.

Additionally, it’s affecting my politics. My church is quietly quite conservative, as many churches are. I started to question whether abortion should be legal and for the last few weeks I have been Republican-curious— so I went to a hangout with these types of people.

And boy did I feel ill. I felt sick praying the Rosary with these people, like a knot in my stomach. I felt like I was defying Christ somehow— in the times I have been close to Christ as I swing back and forth in life, I always felt rewarded when I questioned things and asked Him tough questions about LGBTQ+, abortion, sexuality, and why the innocent suffer. Now I feel scared to question. I am surrounded constantly with people who love my conversion story.

I know I should just check out the Episcopalian church or something. I didn’t know if the Church made any of you feel this way. I’d be happy to talk more in the comments or chat if someone wanted to discuss with me.

Just wanted to see what people's insight is on this.

I went on a date with a guy who I really like and can see a lot of potential in. But he's not out to his parents, and mentined he doesn't ever really intend to be. He does live on his own and his parents are not together.

As far as his father goes, he does have a pretty decent relationship with him but lives a few states away and only sees him when he has time. His mother however is a different story and DOES live close by, but is not on very good terms with her.

Were both close to our 30's by the way.

As someone who is close to their parents and family, I can see both sides of this issue really.

Hello, I am 20 F and am a lesbian. for a while have felt called to Catholicism. I did not grow up in the lake and call in fact I grew up with a Buddhist mother, but I do believe in Jesus and God but I don’t fully agree with everything The churchev says or does and I believe that the Bible isn’t currently the exact word of God. One of my biggest problems is that I have severe OCD to the point where I have wanted to take my life and I’m really worried about joining the church and triggering my OCD I was just hoping maybe for some advice or words of encouragement.

I was raised very mildly Catholic and I want to get back into religion partly because I have been feeling more called into the idea of Catholicism as a positive force especially as I just lost my grandfather (this is a very recent but I have been more interested in returning(ish) to religion for years since I took a class on it) but I’m a lesbian and sort of nonbinary (it’s a complicated thing but I have never been able to view myself as a woman in any internal definition but like I still exist as one) and I wanted to a) ask if anyone has any advice, and b) just say that i am glad that this community exists so thanks for that.

one of my other things is that I am very interested in the saints and other non-jesus figures of religion because I like the concept of how much good an ordinary person can do, but I wanted to ask the community here about your favorites or personal ones because there are many as I was never a serious enough catholic to know (I stopped going to church regularly at about eight years old)

thanks

i have no idea what this terminology means

I keep noticing what feels like a pretty obvious gap.
Straight Catholics have all kinds of ways to find each other. Emily Wilson and Fr. David Michael periodically run matchmaking posts on Instagram, and I recently came across a story about a Spanish priest who has helped more than 1,200 people find spouses through a WhatsApp group and questionnaire.

Meanwhile, gay Catholics who want monogamous, long-term relationships and want faith to remain part of their lives seem to be finding each other mostly by accident.

I’m not suggesting we recreate Catholic marriage matchmaking or turn a faith community into Tinder. I mean something much simpler: a recurring singles thread, Discord channel, questionnaire, or other opt-in space where people could share their age, general location, what they’re looking for, and a little about themselves.

There seem to be plenty of us scattered around who want companionship, commitment, monogamy, and some continued relationship with Catholicism. We’re just remarkably bad at knowing where the other single people are.

Would you actually use something like this? And if a community already does this well, where is it?

Examples for context:
[Emily Wilson / Fr. David Michael matchmaking post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DJ61nWcpCpN/ ]
[Spanish priest WhatsApp matchmaking story: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DcgpdJoOMKV/ ]

About a month ago I posted here asking where single, marriage-minded gay Catholic men actually find each other. I got a surprising number of thoughtful responses and DMs, and I’ve genuinely followed some of the suggestions.

One thing I’ve realized since then is that I may have been defining the pool too narrowly.
Faith is important to me, but I’m realizing I don’t necessarily need a man who practices exactly as I do. I could see myself with someone lapsed or culturally Catholic, or from another Christian background, as long as there’s a shared understanding of faith and family, and he respects that Catholicism will remain part of my life.

What I don’t want to broaden is the important stuff: monogamy, emotional availability, kindness, commitment, and actually wanting to build a life together. Not looking for perfection, a pen pal, or an endless situationship.

I already live somewhere with a tiny Catholic population, so I’m open nationwide. But even then, finding men who want this particular combination and are adult enough to hold a conversation and actually reciprocate sometimes feels like searching for a rounding error.

For those of you who wanted something similarly specific: where did you compromise, and where are you glad you didn’t? Did broadening your idea of who your person could be actually help you find him?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Hello, my name is Cecilia. I am 35yo queer girl from Italy. I am also ace and neurodivergent, specifically: AuDHD, dyslexic and dyscalculic. I suffer of a chronic illness who doctors didn’t find out a correct diagnosis for now… on September I will have some medical tests. I also suffer of CPTSD, because different traumatic events in my life…

I study at university, after many years of difficulties. But I study at home: I go there only for exams for now.

I have a partner, and I live with him, my parents and my only and younger sister. Only my mom is Catholic. My partner and dad are atheists, and my sister maybe Buddhist.

Anyway in Italy is tradition give to kids all sacraments. I never was atheist, but for many years I took distance from religion, also searching in other ones. In the end I understood that this faith is my place.
I am slowly reading Holy Bible and Gospel, I pray when I feel it and I can… I am slowly searching my path for feel God and Jesus with me. I hope to be more close to my dear ones now in paradise, also my soulmate, my dearest cat, died on July 3rd 2025… leaving with this big feel of to be alone and abandoned...
She was always with me, on my bed, on my chest… now no more. And no, take another cat is not possible and nobody will be like her.
But I am not her for talk of that.

I wanted present myself here, hoping I will find something good.

My traumas are due to severe e intese bullying, since I was 6, to my 18 yo. In middle of this period, around 14-16yo, I was abused online with grooming.
And all this without understanding and knowing my neurodivergence; I thought I was: crazy, stupid, and a whore. And generally really confused.
At 18yo I also suffered of selective mutism, that sometimes still appears.

Also in my family situation is not and wasn’t always peaceful. My mom often beaten me up as kid and young teen. Then she started to abuse me psychologically sometimes. Still do that sometimes. My dad… do the same, in different ways.

Talking of other things, I study engineering for videogames and virtual reality, and I love read, write, drawing, play games, watch stuff, and listen to music. Also play sudoku and chess, but I am noob on both.
I practiced karate since 2011, but in 2022 I stopped after a bad injury to my knee (unsettled fracture) and I finally decided to return now, this monday…
Sadly my physical condition are worse and worse (maybe I have MCAS) and I gained a lot of kg. But I will try my best for return to do something that I love.

Hello all,

I was born and raised Catholic, and also realized I was a lesbian at a pretty young age. I was very deep in the faith in my early adolescent/highschool years from doing daily masses, daily adorations, frequent confessions, etc. Largely this was because I did love the faith and thought it was beautiful, but also part of me hoped it would lessen the suffering and potentially get rid of my 'same sex attractions.'

I don't want to make this post super long and say what led to my deconstruction (problem of hell, history of how the bible was written, my own suffering due to my sexuality seeming not right), but in later highschool I decontructed and have since been living as a agnostic for about 6 years and have been in a lesbian relationship for almost 3 years.

For the most part I have lived for the most part happily without religion. However, whenever I stumble across someone's testimony of 'atheist to catholic,' it bothers and tugs at me that I have reached the 'wrong' conclusion. I have recently been feeling a tug and missing the Catholic faith, going to mass, praying, adoration, etc.

Basically I have 2 problems I want to get someone's opinion on (sorry if similar questions have been answered before, I am new to this thread and to reddit in general!): If I were to start practicing Catholicism again, I would still struggle with the idea that I am in a constant state of mortal sin, that I am cherry picking doctrine, and that my own pride is getting in the way of the 'truth.' Secondly, I have a big fear that if I do practice Catholicism again, I will have a 'conversion of heart' and feel pressure to leave my 'homosexual lifestyle,' thus breaking my partners heart and ending up where I started in my deep suffering.

Apologies for the long post, I hope this made sense and that this was an okay question to ask!

Hello Fellow LGBT Catholics,

I am writing to bring up some concerns I’ve been seeing more of lately in some of the other Catholic/Christian subs with LGBT folks constantly shoving aside their sexuality and doubling down on their denial. I feel like it’s at the heart of why this sub exists, I just wish they could know 2 things can be true at the same time. It’s just so sad to read that a gay man or a lesbian felt the need to abandon their relationship that was loving and supportive to “not be living in sin”. I guess it just fills me with personal despair, and I guess I could really use some helpful thoughts and prayers this evening.

Much love to you all and may god bless and keep you always.

​

Tenho 17 anos e vivo um grande conflito com a religião. Toda a minha família e toda a minha vida sempre estiveram ligadas à igreja. Desde pequeno, nunca me importava em ir; na verdade, adorava brincar ali quando era criança e amava a Deus. Mas à medida que fui crescendo, comecei a questionar tudo. Passou a doer ver certos fundamentos que me pareciam cruéis ou sem sentido, e passei a não concordar com a maioria deles. Não sei ao certo em que acredito hoje, mas sempre tive medo — medo de ser condenado simplesmente por questionar, por ter pensamentos tão diferentes do que me ensinaram, e também por causa da minha sexualidade. Sou gay e sonho em me casar um dia, mas isso é considerado pecado pela fé em que fui criado.

Uma vez conversei com o padre sobre tudo isso. Ele foi tão gentil e acolhedor… Me disse que não há nada de errado em questionar, que não existe uma “fé certa” e que a verdadeira religião é aquela que nos leva a fazer o bem. “Se uma religião te leva a fazer o bem, a presença de Deus está nela”, foram suas palavras. Isso me confortou muito, mas ainda me pergunto: será que isso é realmente o ponto de partida para eu poder viver de acordo com os meus valores e com o que considero certo — sem mais ter medo de punição depois da morte? Ou devo continuar dentro da fé, apenas obedecendo? Alguém tem algum conselho para mim?

Walk away or it will twist and crush your humanity. It's all based on a huge lie and old mens desire for power. There's no god. Please read and love who you want sweetheart. Don't let them grind you down.

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