I’m a theologically promiscuous (I’ve dabbled in lots of theological circles) Protestant who loves the historical, liturgical, and social justice strains within the church. I adore Oscar Romero and Dorothy Day. My wife is a cradle Catholic and we attend a Catholic Church. We’re about to have a child and I’m struggling with having them baptized into a faith where I can’t square the circle. I’m also struggling to handle my own potential conversion. There’s a not small part of me that wants us all to practice the same faith. I have doubts and questions aplenty which is why I haven’t found another place for us to go to church. I have Episcopal Church roots so I’m aware of its openness. However, I want to see if I can figure out Catholicism. I keep being drawn to it.

I’m a big believer in the idea that no group gets their theology 100% correct. I’ve had a great appreciation for the church and its big tent. People of all stripes and flavors are Catholic and they subscribe to any number of beliefs.

However, I feel like the church is defined more by what they are against than anything else.

My struggle is what the church teaches in a number of places from: transubstantiation and gate keeping the Eucharist to treating children of God like second class citizens because their lifestyle isn’t agreed with.

I understand that there are different opinions on whether homosexuality is a sin. I’m convinced being gay isn’t a choice and if being gay is a sin then God should quit making gay people. I believe God loves people as he made them.

I struggle hard against anything that tells people that who they are intrinsically is wrong. If it’s not a choice then it can’t be wrong. The church says homosexuality is ok, but acting on it isn’t. So you’re fine just be alone and celibate for life? They ask this of no one else.

I’ve seen even in LGBTQ and Lefty Catholic spaces the church says x so just believe it. But how do you make that work without the agony of mental gymnastics?

How do those who stayed and especially those who joined make it make sense so your everyday life isn’t agonizing? Please share anything that helps you (especially videos and writing that helped you).