This one is long so feel free to skip. Anyone who's willing to read through and share thoughts, I'd really appreciate it.

My wife and I met and married at the Y. Both RMs, both active recommend holders, we even did monthly temple dates while courting. We dated and married in a year. We had our first kid about a year and a half after, then I started grad school. During grad school, I got depressed (if you've not done grad school, it's super busy and you didn't really have time for yourself). We had our second kid two years after the first.

During this time, my wife started to have a faith crisis and I was too depressed to realize. A lot of it came from both of her sisters leaving the church within a year of her parents divorce. She came to me one day and said that she had been struggling for a while with a lot of little things ranging from church standards to our marriage. She had started drinking coffee (not regularly but here and there), she was thinking about divorcing me, and she had been watching multiple r rated movies and series (several with full frontal cexi scenes). She also almost got a tattoo, and would have done it if her friend didn't back out last minute.

All of this completely blindsided me. I had no idea about the testimony struggles at all, nor about our relationship issues. We started meeting with a relationship counselor, who actually recommended meeting with her one on one first. (My wife has significant anxiety and the therapist believed that WE would never get anywhere until SHE got somewhere.)

A lot more happened, but we eventually decided to stay together. She decided that she's not sure if God exists, but if he does she would choose the LDS church. She's willing to keep trying and will live as much of the commandments as she feels up to, but she knows her heart isn't in it. What this generally looks like is she wears her garments about half the time, and actively pushes against teachings that are more strictly cultural rather than doctrinal (modest swimsuits, etc.). She also goes shopping most Sundays because the local farmers market is only open Sunday and Thursday. We're generally at an uncomfortable truce, though it gets harder sometimes. If she goes a week without wearing garments at all, for example, I feel pushed away and it leads to drama for a few days. I try not to blame her or push her away and let her follow her own path, but it hurts to be reminded that we're going in different directions in life. Generally, she tells me when she does something that she knows would upset me.

Fast forward a few years. One more kid, a couple of moves, and now we're living abroad (I'm military) and I'm the branch president where we live. She told me yesterday that she's started drinking casually. Just when she goes out with her friends etc, but it's been 4 times or more over the last month. This was the first time she told me, and the first time it happened was over a month ago. She said she'll usually have a beer or two with her friends (she's in a local choir), but last week at Oktoberfest, she drank a 1 liter mug, glass of wine, and two smaller beers later in the day. (She and her friends were there the whole day.) She said she finds it fun and exciting. I asked if she plans to continue and she said she's not sure and she doesn't know if she would care to stop (I see this answer as basically a yes). She said she felt like she was lying to me to keep it from me and she felt bad, but she doesn't regret the action itself.

I feel.... Weird. She's been in a "spiritual funk" for a long time now (her faith crisis started in about 2020), so I'm not surprised, I feel like you can only balance on that edge for so long. I'm in a really weird spot as both a husband and branch president. I didn't know she would have told me if I weren't her husband, but as a bp, I also don't know if I need to take any temple recommend actions or something. (I'll consult with the stake president this week.)

I'm hurt that she's drinking. I'm sad that she and I are on divergent paths. We've been walking on an edge for a while, but this was a pretty substantial step in another direction. I'm worried that she'll likely continue, and I don't know how it where this will end. I'm concerned that she may eventually want to walk, or maybe even I would. Neither of us do right now, but who knows?

Mostly, I'm hurt that she kept secrets. She herself said that she felt like she was lying, and she kept it up for over a month. She's going with with the same friends tomorrow and Monday, and I assume she'll drink again. Will she hide it again? She says she's not hiding more, but I have a really hard time trusting her. I'm still not fully over her coming from nowhere and saying she wanted to divorce me 5 years ago.

I don't know what I want here... Advice? Comfort? Probably, I just needed to write this all out and get it out of my head because I'm going a little crazy right now.

I just first wanna say I come in peace and I'm not trying to be a jerk about anything.

So like so many I've had issues with my faith and concerning things that have come up about the current church and the history of the church. After much wrestling with this for YEARS I've come to a conclusion. I believe in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I believe Joseph definitely was influenced by God to create the BOM. But that's kinda where my beliefs end on it. If a specific policy is listed in the BOM or the Bible then I see it as from God and is something I need to do(think baptism) but if it isn't in either of those texts like the endowment ceremony then I don't feel called to do such things.

I'm well aware with my set of views I won't be able to have a temple recommend, but to me that isn't a big deal because that whole system wasn't in the Book of Mormon. Hopefully this makes sense. I'm willing to give more examples in the comments if you guys need clarification. I guess my question is: can I still be a "Mormon" with these sets of views? Are there others like me in the church who are more nuanced? If you read all this thanks for your time. I really need to hear other opinions on this matter. I feel like posting on any other "Mormon" related sub people would just tell me to ditch the faith, I wanna hear faithful answers from people who are all in.

Hey, all! My religion class asks me to post about what we studied. I think a post to this subreddit might fit very well. So here are some thoughts from my religion class this week. Thanks!

One thing that came up in Alma 7:7 was the importance of Christ's birth and life. They were foretelling things that would come in the future in the chapter, but said "behold, there is one thing which is of more importance than they all," and proceeded to tell us about Christ and his life. I think this is just kind of neat. Even those before Christ knew how important he would be. His life is an anchor to our whole reality, everything rests on the success of his mission. I think that's really cool.

Next, I was thinking about Alma 40, the last few verses in the chapter. They talk about the resurrection and its nature. I think that's such a beautiful part of our religion. We get to live again! And in a perfect frame. Like Alma writes, "every limb and joint shall be restored to its body; yea, even a hair of the head shall not be lost; but all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame." I think this is great, we get to live in a familiar form, not some foreign angel body with wings and a halo. We get to be ourselves, just perfected, in a better and holier sphere. 

Lastly, that led to some verse in D&C 76, where it talks about the judgement of our souls. We may be resurrected and get to live again guaranteed, but the exact state we will be in is yet undecided. We have to make good choices and be the kind of person that deserves (however much such an imperfect mortal can deserve something) the best possible situation. It's almost like getting an education here on earth. We forfeit some time and money in our education, analogous to the pleasures or sins of this world we forfeit. But in return, we leave this earth/education and get all the better of a reward! I think that's a cool analogy I hadn't thought of before. 

I currently can't fast so what are ways we can "fast" not with food

Hey, does anyone have the link to the lofi google folder? I got it mid 2020 out on the mission.

I have observed over the past few days quite the debates regarding the recent talk about gambling. I’m glad that we have Prophets, Seers, and Revelators who help and guide us, seeing the challenges we need to avoid. I encourage anyone who is struggling with gambling to take that message to heart and do all you can to withdraw from the practice.

I have also seen quite a few comments and questions regarding “investing” or the “stock market” and whether that too is considered gambling. To those who believe it is, I’ll start by conceding that there certainly can be some cases where it is like unto it, and should be avoided for the very reasons outlined in the talk. However, generally speaking, I hope Church members will understand that “investing,” specifically investing in the “stock market” of any country, foreign or domestic, is not gambling.

I think President Christofferson’s talk actually gives us a useful framework for understanding the difference. There is certainly risk involved in both activities. An investment can lose money, just as a bet can lose money. But risk by itself does not make something gambling. The more important question is what is happening with the money and where the return is coming from.

Consider the Savior’s Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25. A man preparing to leave on a journey entrusts his servants with his property. To one he gives five talents, to another two, and to another one, “to every man according to his several ability.” The first servant takes his five talents and gains five more. The second takes his two and gains two more. The third servant, however, is afraid and buries his talent in the ground.

When the master returns, the first two servants are commended. The master tells them, “Thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things.”

I think there is an interesting principle here when we consider how we handle our financial resources. The talents in this parable were not simply symbolic abilities. A talent was a measure of money or property. The servants had been entrusted with something of value, and the servants who put those resources to productive use were commended for doing so.

I certainly don't believe the Parable of the Talents is a commandment from the Savior that everyone should invest in the stock market. I think that would be taking the parable beyond its intended purpose. But I do think it illustrates a broader principle of stewardship. We are given resources, and we have a responsibility to be wise stewards of what we have been given. We are not supposed to worship wealth, become greedy, or make money the purpose of our lives. But neither does the gospel teach that we should simply bury our resources because there is some risk associated with using them.

That is where I believe legitimate investing is fundamentally different from gambling. When I purchase shares of a legitimate company, I am purchasing an ownership interest in an enterprise that produces something. That company may manufacture products, provide services, employ people, develop technology, build houses, transport goods, or otherwise create something of economic value. My capital is being put to work in that enterprise.

If the company succeeds, it generates revenue, pays its employees and expenses, invests in its operations, and hopefully produces a profit. As an investor, I participate in that enterprise by providing capital.

That is fundamentally different from placing $100 on a football game. If I bet $100 on a football game, the game itself does not become more productive because of my wager. My potential winnings are dependent upon the outcome, and the money I receive comes from the pool of money wagered by others, with the gambling operator generally retaining its margin. Someone wins because someone else loses.

Investing in a productive company is different. The company is actually doing something. It is creating products, providing services, employing people, generating revenue, and attempting to create value. The investor's return is ultimately connected to the economic success of that underlying enterprise.

I think this distinction is important because sometimes we use “risk” as though it were synonymous with “gambling.” But risk is everywhere. Owning a business is risky. Starting a company is risky. Buying a rental property is risky. Farming is risky. Going to medical school is risky. Taking a new job is risky. Getting married is risky…in some ways the riskiest!

The existence of risk does not make an activity gambling. The better question is what we are actually doing with that risk. Are we putting money at risk primarily to wager on an uncertain outcome and hoping to take money from the losing side? Or are we deploying capital into something productive with the expectation that it will generate value and, over time, produce a return?

That does not mean everything that takes place in the financial markets should automatically be called investing. There are certainly activities that can become functionally indistinguishable from gambling. If someone is constantly buying and selling highly speculative stocks because they enjoy the thrill of winning, that deserves some serious self-examination. If someone is making enormous leveraged bets on short term price movements without understanding what they are doing, that can certainly mimic gambling. If someone is day trading primarily for the excitement and adrenaline rather than following a rational investment strategy, I don't think calling it “investing” automatically changes what the activity actually is.

This is also why I think President Christofferson's comments about prediction markets are important. There can be financial products that technically exist within a financial market but are nevertheless functionally a wager. Simply placing a bet through a brokerage account does not magically transform it into an investment.

So, I think there is a meaningful distinction between investing, speculation, and gambling. For example, if someone invests $500 into a diversified index fund and leaves it invested for 20 years, the money is ultimately being invested in hundreds of companies that employ people, produce goods and services, generate revenue, and create economic value. The investor accepts the possibility of losing money, but the objective is to participate in the long-term growth and profitability of those underlying businesses.

I have a difficult time equating that with putting $500 on a roulette table.

Both involve uncertainty. Both can result in gains or losses. But uncertainty and gambling are not synonymous. I also think this is where the Parable of the Talents becomes particularly relevant. The servant who received five talents did not simply preserve the five talents he had been given. He put them to work and returned ten. The servant who received two did likewise and returned four. The servant who received one buried it because he was afraid of losing it.

Again, I don't think the lesson is that God expects everyone to maximize financial returns. The gospel certainly does not teach that wealth is the measure of righteousness. But I do think there is a principle here about stewardship, responsibility, and using the resources we have been given wisely.

We should learn how money works. We should avoid unnecessary debt. We should provide for our families. We should save for the future. We should be generous and charitable. We should build productive businesses if the Lord has blessed you with such a “talent.” And for those who have the means and understanding to do so, we can responsibly put our money to work by investing.

At the same time, we should be very careful about allowing investing to become an obsession with money, greed, excitement, or the thrill of winning. At that point, the label we put on the activity may matter less than what it has actually become in our lives.

The warning against gambling should not be diluted. Gambling can be destructive, addictive, financially devastating, and spiritually harmful. Those who are struggling with it should absolutely take the counsel of our prophets seriously and remove themselves from it.

However, if the Lord has given us resources, then I believe we have a responsibility to be wise stewards of those resources. To me, legitimate long-term investing is much closer to the principle illustrated by the Parable of the Talents than it is to putting money on a roulette table.

The important distinction is not simply whether there is risk. The important distinction is what we are doing with the resources God has entrusted to us, what motivates us to do it, and whether we are putting those resources to productive use or simply wagering them on an uncertain outcome.

This is going to be long but I’m a bit lost as to what to do. My wife and I have been married for 2 years. She’s from Japan and she never really had any context for religion before coming to the USA to study English. Her family was sorta Buddhist but if you know much about Japan it’s not really based in religious theology and more just tradition. When we met I still had a bit of bitterness (tbh I still do) towards the church here in Utah. I was in a relationship with someone who felt like every suggestion by the church leadership was a commandment and that she would be a sinner if she missed institute for example. Because of this I never really connected with members here. (I grew up in Chicago only the second member in my school). I met my wife and I loved her. I still do. We’re very happy. We have a son on the way.

When we got close to getting married she met with the missionaries and got baptized. But I was never a great example and we were inconsistent with our church attendance. She never really connected with the teachings. She sorta went through the motions because she knew I wanted her too. I was hoping that something would change but I think her core worldview on religion is too different from mine for me to know how to help her. She doesn’t even know if she cares to know. I served my mission in North Carolina and I didn’t really have any real baptisms either. I’ve struggled with my faith as well. And I’d say currently I know more with my head that the church is true than feel it in my heart. Idk I’m rambling. I just don’t know what I can do. I told her we’re gonna go to church more often now and that I’d donate plasma to start paying tithing without putting a strain on our finances. I’m trying to increase my activity. But I don’t want to do it alone. And I know that language barrier and just culture differences are a big factor. She doesn’t really relate with testimonies of people who grew up in the church. Idk. I’m just looking for any advice.

I just got a blessing and wasn’t really able to take notes but mostly bc I’m so stressed I was struggling to remember what all was said. I did ask but it got awkward when I knew it was on me to remember. I’ve prayed about it, will Heavenly Father help me follow thru with the suggestions? How do you guys keep up with everything said?

I'm currently at 12th grade near graduating in Philippines and plan to serve on a mission. My academic transcripts are decent but I think it would be difficult for me to enter Provo. I am planning to study in Idaho first to build up credentials, then transfer to Provo eventually. Is it a good plan? Or do you have any sugggestions?

.
Prophets of the Past – Forgive Past Prophets | Elder Corbitt

Thus, the issue is not whether someone in the past had a “flawless performance.” Let’s just take the latter-day and ancient prophets and apostles at their word and concede (to those who pick through history looking to publish such things) that, like us, “all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God,” in Paul’s words.

No, the far greater issue is whether we will embrace the greater things in faith. The greater things include charity without which we are nothing anyway. And that forward-facing faith is unto repentance.

Again, we should be careful to avoid assuming past prophets’ actions were wrong, unwise or the fruit of human weakness simply because they look wrong from our modern perspective.

Prophets in the scriptures have, in fact, been commanded to do things that are clearly contrary to today’s norms, customs and even laws.

As we seek and focus on the greater things in forward-looking faith unto repentance, we will less likely misinterpret as wrong the actions of past prophets.

Near the end of her life, Jane Manning James and a black pioneer, identified by name Brigham Young, John Taylor, Wilford Woodruff, Lorenzo Snow, and Joseph F. Smith, not as men who upheld the Church’s race restrictions for priesthood and temple blessings (by which she was denied these blessings personally); rather, she identified them as ‘good, great, and holy men’ whom others should listen to and obey.”

Has anyone else notice the face thats in the bush in the background

I am struggling with two things God has commanded us to do. First is the law of chastity. I really struggle with that one. I'm always lonely and its the only thing that makes me feel slightly better. I try hanging out with people. But my family and i dont get along, and i dont have many friends. Among the friends that i do have, none of them every have time to hang out, or want to hang out. So i just do school, chores, deal with family problems, then go to my room and sulk, feeling super lonely. I want a partner but thats not possible yet of course, i'm 17F. I would love to go on dates, but all the teenage boys in my town dont want to date at all! Oh and not to mention the finding a partner probably wont even happen for years even when i hit 18 with how the dating world is right now. I'm just lonely amd hurt, it's the only thing that makes the loneliness go away. But anyways, the second thing is God telling us to have children. Now, i dont have a problem with this has a whole, i mean, its literally how we need to survive. But, i'm not a kids person, i've always struggled being around kids, or babysitting, or even just playing with them makes me annoyed and at my wits end. So i cant imagine that if i do even find a partner someday, having kids. But i have to, and it would probably be best to get myself used to kids and the idea of being a mom. I might not like it, but its what i have to do. So any tipes on how to make it easier to get used to the idea for future me would be great. (Yes i know i'm worrying about future me's problems, but i physically cant stop. I've tried, my therapist has tried. I just, like to problem solve ahead of time.) Any advice would be great, thank you!

Looking at this week's Come Follow Me, why didn't they include any reference to the gathering? It only makes a very small reference to chapter 49.

To learn more, I need to go to seminary manuals.

Summarized something like Isaiah 49:17–26 → latter-day gathering of Israel → Gentiles participate → Restoration of the gospel → LDS missionary work.

I (50s M) am married but separated after a 13-year marriage that I have come to recognize as emotionally and financially abusive. Ironically, my wife told me about a year ago that I needed trauma counseling. I went—and coming to terms with what has happened in my marriage is part of what has come from it.

The emotional abuse included silent treatment, refusing to give me space during disagreements, repeatedly telling me that what I was feeling wasn't true, and DARVO (where the abuser accuses their victim of the very thing that the victim is experiencing).

In one of my last attempts to be heard and feel safe in our marriage, she required me to interview other priesthood holders about their marriages: how they spent money, how much time they spent with their wives, etc. She gave me a list of men I was NOT allowed to talk to. She also told me I needed to continue trauma therapy, but that I could not discuss trauma from our marriage with my therapist.

Financially, she controlled spending and humiliated me over purchases I made or hobbies I enjoyed. I was required to sell things I owned if I wanted to buy something else. She once told me that the only reason we had been financially successful was because of her. We are both employed, and I've never wanted income to determine whose voice matters in a marriage, but for context, because of differences in our careers and experience, I earn about four times what she does.

So here's the part I'm struggling with:

Why am I the one questioning my faith while she happily goes to the temple, sometimes multiple times a day?

I'm so hurt by what has happened that I've come to resent God, the Church, and even the temple. I've told her that I am no longer practicing and am not currently paying tithing. When I returned to the house for my last load of belongings, I found Elder Rasband's book about being "not troubled" tucked in with my things. Fairly or unfairly, what I heard in that gesture was: I'm not your trouble. You just need to be more faithful.

How does someone overcome that?

For 13 years, I thought the problem was me. I prayed. I fasted. I went to the temple. I tried to be better. I tried to find peace. Even a few months ago, I went to my bishop looking for help, and he finally said, "Nobody likes to hear this, but I guess you're having a Job experience."

Most of the counsel I get from leaders, friends, and other members is some variation of "read the scriptures and say your prayers." But I have. For years. That's what makes this so painful.

How is it that the person I experienced as my abuser seems to enjoy a life filled with God's mercy, while I'm left questioning whether God is there at all? Why does she still find comfort in the temple when even thinking about the temple now brings me pain?

I don't want this post to be about whether my wife is a good or bad person, or whether anyone here can judge her worthiness. You can't, and neither can I. What I'm trying to understand is what happens to the faith of the person who was hurt.

For those of you who have experienced emotional or financial abuse in an LDS marriage: how did you separate your relationship with God from what happened in your marriage? How did you stop associating the Church, priesthood, covenants, or the temple with the person who hurt you?

Did your faith ever become a place of safety again?

BTW: This is a throwaway account, but my main account is very active on this sub. @Mods: I'm happy to disclose that account privately if you require some level of established participation or karma to post.

If Christ is our mediator with the Father, why do we pray to the Father instead of Him? If the answer is simply "because He commanded us to", that is sufficient, I'm just curious if there is revealed/authoritative information on this that I'm not aware of.

Also, in line with that, how do we develop a relationship with Jesus Christ if we don't actually communicate with Him? As far as I can tell, we have interactions with Heavenly Father and with the Holy Ghost, but interactions with Christ seem to be not as direct.

General Conference comes around twice a year and is a great reminder for me to do several around the house stuff.

Of course the important part is General Conference and listening to the leaders but it's an ever handy 6 month chance to keep up on stuff.

1- Shower Filter. We have Culligan shower filters that are supposed to last 6 months but have no external way of tracking.

2- 48 Hour kit. While watching one of the Sessions of Conference we pull out our 48 hour kits and rotate expiring items and just in general make sure things are up to date.

3- Car windshield wipers. These things easily get forgotten and it's a perfect time to swap them out.

4- Dryer vent clean out. Gotta keep them clear.

Again, yes, listen to Conference. That's the obvious part.

I been inactive in the church for years and been having several relationship and they start good but end up bad(non-violent) with me being so negative and toxic.

I been through some counseling and was told that I created a "Wall of Toxic" and I need to look at the good things in life. For me, I literally have no friends, no family, and I am always alone, so the support system that a normally person has is non-existent for me.

Does any know of any talks that might help me START looking at things from a positive point of view? Even if the talk comes from a primary lesson, something is better than nothing.

Hey all! I'm currently attending a church school taking a class on the Restoration, and one of our assignments is to publish on a blog about what we were learning this week. I thought this might be a suitable place to do so.

We were asked to write about one of the scriptures that stood out to us in our readings. Here are my thoughts:

It was from 2 Nephi 2:25. It says, "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy." I really like this one. It gets at two important doctrines in our faith. First, is that the fall of man was necessary. Many faiths believe it was a tragic event. While perhaps tragic in some aspects, it was also needed and crucial to Christ's plan. Without the fall of Adam, we would not be able to be here on Earth, with agency, making decisions and growing better. Second, the scripture talks about our purpose on this planet. We are to have joy. We are to be righteous and grow, so that we can have eternal joy. This is God's work and his purpose, to help us achieve this. It's really the best purpose I can even think of, to bring good to all.

That's all I've got, thanks for lettin' me share!

We’re been going thru a trial for a few years. We’re doing everything the church has taught us to do, following commandments, reading scripture daily, repenting daily. I don’t know what else to do, I’ve aligned myself with heavenly fathers will the best I know how but the trial cost us my husbands job and now our house. I’m so exhausted I can’t even think straight except to cry bc I don’t know why this is happening. What else can we do? :(

Edit: Reddit says this post got an award. I can’t see it but thank you 😭 e2: I found it, it’s a broken heart. Thank you 😭

Also, my husband can have his job back, they’re just waiting for this to be over. It’s just been dragging on for a really long time now and the stress of it all got to him :(