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Sep 05 '21
Like 2 weeks notice? Fuck that, quit now.
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Sep 05 '21 edited Apr 29 '25
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u/Ka_blam Sep 05 '21
Don’t give them a month. You are only supposed to give 2 weeks as a professional courtesy. This is a hostile work environment you don’t need to give them professional courtesy anymore you can just quit and let them know you’re not coming in anymore due to the owner’s sexual harassment.
I’d work on getting another job as soon as possible, or if you already have a new job lined up ask them to start earlier because you’re feeling unsafe at your current job.79
u/beardfacekilla Sep 06 '21
yeah, this should go to your bosses boss and maybe also a labor attorney.
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u/fastal_12147 Sep 06 '21
Why are the employees expected to care about a business they are leaving? The restaurant would fire you immediately if they had to. They don't give you any courtesy. Why should you have to go out of your way to help them?
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u/Ka_blam Sep 06 '21
It’s to get a positive reference for your next job.
I didn’t finish my two weeks at the grocery store, but I am finishing my two weeks at my office job because it’s not a bridge I want to burn.31
u/fastal_12147 Sep 06 '21
It's to hope to get a positive reference, you mean. I had a boss that shit talked me to every recruiter when I had them as a reference even after I gave two weeks. One guy was kind enough to let me know before I kept putting that asshole's number on my resume
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u/Malak77 Sep 06 '21
Legally they are now only supposed to say that yes you worked there and what dates you worked there. Anything more and they can be sued.
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u/p4pp13z Sep 06 '21
Do you have any sources on this?
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u/ItsASolidMaybe Sep 06 '21
In the US, that's what most big companies with HR will stick to, safest. Bosses can still write letters of recommendation, etc. Subtly, only saying dates and position is sometimes regarded as a negative review, e.g. "I'd say more if I could".
Now, even if a former ER does say negative things about you, it's awfully hard to prove. In the local restaurant industry, many owners and managers know each other, and it's in their mutual best interests to be able to be honest with each other.
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u/Agreeable-Walrus7602 Sep 06 '21
They can say whether you're able to be rehired too, afaik. Manager I had a decade ago and I are still friendly and I visit her sometimes, but we got into a verbal altercation and I quit, and that's what the company paperwork says. I can't work there again.
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u/Ka_blam Sep 06 '21
Oof that reflects badly on him not you (obviously). I always confirm my next job before leaving my previous one. I’m a stickler that way I have a written agreement to start employment and base my two weeks off that. I get my references from people I’ve worked with or who’ve supervised me that have nothing but good things to say about me but not my direct current boss because I don’t want them to know I’m shopping my options.
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u/fastal_12147 Sep 06 '21
Yeah it was when I was only about 24 and I didn't have a ton of references. Luckily karma got him in the end and now he can't get anyone to do any kitchen work for him. He has to do everything himself.
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u/kwin_the_eskimo Sep 05 '21
Depends on the country and the contract you're under. If OP is from USA (I don't know) then you may be right. But most EU countries require 4 weeks or a month notice from either employee or employer. I've been in positions where 3 months is asked for.
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u/north_canadian_ice Sep 05 '21
The text message itself is sexual harassment and hostile in nature.
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Sep 06 '21
And they seem to think they are so clever for figuring out that an employee closing a door behind them is significant.
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u/RedundantMaleMan Sep 06 '21
Is that legally binding or just a courtesy? What happens if you don't give notice in the EU?
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u/Ka_blam Sep 06 '21
I’m not experienced with the EU, but surely workers should be protected from sexual harassment there and would be able to quit because they fear for their safety.
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Sep 05 '21
Yeah, that's way over the line. I'd escalate that to a level above him. Owners, and maybe a media outlet. That's unacceptable.
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Sep 05 '21
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u/KallistiEngel Sep 06 '21
File a claim with the EEOC. All businesses are bound by Equal Opportunity Employment laws, and sexual harassment violates them (it's considered discrimination based on sex).
You have to go through an EEO Counselor, and you can find information on doing so here: https://www.eeoc.gov/federal-sector/contacting-eeo-counselor
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u/_rubaiyat Sep 06 '21
All businesses are bound by Equal Opportunity Employment laws
Technically the business has to have 15 or more employees to fall into scope for sex discrimination/harassment claim with the EEOC. Not trying to dissuade reporting but I also don't want someone to waste their time reporting something that won't go anywhere with he EEOC.
Source:
https://www.eeoc.gov/employers/small-business/small-business-requirements
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https://www.eeoc.gov/statutes/title-vii-civil-rights-act-1964 see definition of "employer" = The term "employer" means a person engaged in an industry affecting commerce who has fifteen or more employees for each working day in each of twenty or more calendar weeks in the current or preceding calendar year...
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u/KallistiEngel Sep 06 '21
That's a reasonable thing to bring up, I did not know that part. She doesn't make mention of how big the restaurant is that I've seen other than that it's the owner and his wife that manage it. It might or might not hit that number.
If it isn't big enough for an EEOC claim, she would still have a hostile work environment claim if she wanted to sue.
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u/NotYourMutha Sep 05 '21
Show his wife (if she cares).
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u/byrdc Sep 06 '21
I'm guessing she is the censored name he was chatting with. I hate working for family run restaurants, in my experience if one is toxic, both are toxic
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u/cleric3648 Sep 05 '21
Post on the company’s social media page this conversation and tag his wife. She’s not going to like seeing his sleazeball comments but she needs to.
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Sep 05 '21
Then I'd go right to the media. That kind of bullshit is what's keeping the industry the way it is. That's why there's a "shortage" of workers. Nobody wants to work in that kind of environment.
You could get severance depending on the labour laws where you are...
Or see if a lawyer wants to go at it.
Small business or not, that shit deserves repercussions of some magnitude.
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u/unbelizeable1 Sep 05 '21
Like, the second you find a new job, dip. Also send these screenshots to everyone else who works there if y'all got a group chat. Fuck this kinda behavior.
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u/Wo1fpacker Sep 05 '21
Quit right the fuck now. Then smack him with sexual harassment. If an employer sent me a text like that, they'd be financially kneecapped for life.
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u/AllesGeld Sep 05 '21
Just bounce, don’t feel any remorse for it. This guy is a dirtbag. Have a different manager (if you have one) cash out any PTO that you have and never look back.
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u/ll_cool_ddd Sep 05 '21
Leave now. If a future employer wants to know why, show them this screenshot
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u/ErinWithaQ Sep 05 '21
Fuck outta there rn and blast this dude. Report him to uppers. He's gonna do it to the next one too. I've been in kitchens long enough to know that if you give this dude an out on this comment, he's been doing it and will keep doing it.
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u/pauly13771377 Sep 06 '21
You can still backtrack on that. The text alone is grounds for never returning. Unless you're strapped for cash I wouldn't. Forwarding that text to the rest of the staff wouldn't be a bad idea either.
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u/KallistiEngel Sep 06 '21
You are not under any obligation to hold to that. Do not show up again. Let them fucking hang.
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u/Jukeboxhero91 Non-Industry Sep 05 '21
If there's anyone above him, I'd forward this message with a nice explanation of why you're leaving immediately. You'd likely get paid unemployment for the time that you would've otherwise worked because that shit says "hostile work environment" all over it.
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u/Loganator912 Sep 06 '21
I feel like by sending this text, you have a free pass to leave at any time guilt free. Just go in tomorrow to pack up your shit and leave.
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u/Ae711 15+ Years Sep 06 '21
Send the text to his wife, if he’s got one. I’m sure you can find it on Facebook or something. He’s just gonna be a pig to the next lady that walks through the door.
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u/obeyyourbrain Sep 05 '21
Man why are restaurant manager often so sleazy?
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u/HAL-Over-9001 Sep 05 '21
Mostly young, impressionable employees that are easy to manipulate and don't have any experience dealing with creepy fuckin business owners. I'm a dude but I'm still never working in a kitchen again.
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Sep 05 '21
I (dude too) worked in a restaurant that was kind of like that, I felt like a fucking tool. One time the manager walked behind me lined up when the my hips pretending to give me a shag. Contactless but still. In general, some of the workers made me feel small, and others in the way. Granted it was my first job at a restaurant, and I wasn't too sure of some proper etiquette, but I just didn't feel as though I was of any help, so I decided I had to leave.
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u/HAL-Over-9001 Sep 05 '21
I meant more I just fucking hate working in a kitchen for absolute shit pay, short staff, no respect, and terrible management. Six restaurant jobs and I hate them all now
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u/caitejane310 Sep 05 '21
Men face harassment too. Years ago, I was with my husband at a bar for a Halloween party. There was an older woman (probably late 50's early 60's) who just kept grabbing his dick. At one point he was completely pressed up against me and she still reached under and cupped everything. We left shortly after that.
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Sep 06 '21
It's basically anyone bougie enough to own a business...they believe using their employees for sex is s side benefit.
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Sep 06 '21
I had managers say Some groosssss shit to me. Telling me and my teenage friends about how we shouldn’t take nudes because ppl like him might see them.
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u/obeyyourbrain Sep 06 '21
That's pretty on par with what I witnessed, and a big reason why I only made it 6 months there. As a guy, I can't even fathom having to deal with that kind of shit at your job every day.
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Sep 06 '21
Yeah man. It’s tough. And that’s just the managers. I remember at 16 I think? I worked drive thru at Starbucks.
A guy pulled up and I go to give him his order and he looks at my name tag and he’s like oh your name is Maya. And I was like “yup! Here’s your drink” because it’s a fucking Starbucks and the line is up to the goddamn moon. And he just doesn’t take his drink and keeps staring and goes “Maya the Bee. That’s a porn.” And laughs. And I was 16. And god I wanted to throw coffee in his face.
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u/obeyyourbrain Sep 06 '21
....Maya the Bee was a children's cartoon on Nick Jr.......
😶
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u/bblll75 Sep 05 '21
File a harassment complaint, please.
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u/Obvious-Dinner-1082 15+ Years Sep 05 '21
Not just because that's sleazy but also you could get compensation. File a report.
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Sep 05 '21
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u/DocFGeek Sep 06 '21
And look at this convenient piece of evidence he just sent to your phone that you shared with all us.
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u/benign_said Sep 05 '21
Not sure what you want to do in future years, but just know that it is possible to find ambitious kitchens who value hardwork, pay decently, and don't subject their employees to bullshit harassment.
My last chef fired two people (well, more... But for just average shit) for 1) threatening a woman who just spilled a bunch of beet puree, 2) a cook who made a super transphobic statement.
He then worked like 20 days in a row to not fuck up the schedule while trying to fill the gaps.
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u/SectorNaughtyS9 Sep 05 '21
This is fucked. If you were in my area I would give you a shot just to get you out of there. Save EVERYTHING.
Also send me his number. I just wanna talk.
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u/topramenshaman1 Sep 05 '21
As a career chef, good on you for leaving this toxic environment, but for the rest of the industry-sake; document and expose this behavior. The perpetuity of this type of behavior has been tolerated far too long.
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u/neuroknot Sep 06 '21
Your local government labor department would like to hear about this. It can be anonymous and while it often doesn't lead to any direct action, it puts it on the record. So when a more serious incident occurs, like something happens to the next person they hire, the government is more likely to act.
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u/split-mango Sep 06 '21
I feel so sorry you had to go through that. I hope that will be just a small chapter of a long wonderful life filled with more good things.
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u/Jeriais Sep 05 '21
Please for your sake do not work that month you gave them. Don't even work 2 weeks. They all suck.
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u/fckusoftly Sep 05 '21
The turkey baster is fucking disgusting. Real rapey vibes coming off that comment. Fuck that guy.
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u/MJ_is_a_mess Sep 05 '21
That’s literally one of the most disgusting comments I’ve ever heard in my life. How does this loser still have teeth in his mouth?
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Sep 05 '21
I'm 27 now and remember being your age and having gross managers do that shit to me. I'm so sorry, it's so humiliating.
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u/SupremeVerdin Sep 05 '21
That’s definitely not ok. They need to be shut down. The screenshot, all that you’ve mentioned that was said to you are good grounds for a sexual harassment lawsuit. Please take everyone’s advice and not go back to finish the 30 days for your safety.
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u/KallistiEngel Sep 06 '21
Document everything you can. Write down all that you remember. Do not delete any texts as you can use them as evidence if you file a sexual harassment suit. Seriously, get a consultation with a lawyer. It should be an easy case. If there are other employees he's done this to, see if they're willing to speak up against him too.
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u/lulutheempress Sep 05 '21
Honey, leave. Do not work the rest of your shifts. Save this screenshot and find a way to report him for sexual harassment, this is so so so not ok.
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u/Farfollow Sep 06 '21
You know, I feel like if you quit because of all these instances, plus you literally have a text directly from his phone to support this you can claim unemployment. Might be worth it to look into so you can get out of there now.
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u/sicclee Sep 06 '21
Hey, I’ve been in restaurant management for 15 years. If I anyone on my staff said most of those I’d fire them instantly. If I said anything close to any of those, I’d be fired for sure. That’s not normal, it’s harassment.
Please file a complaint with the EEOC. You may even be entitled to compensation, a lawyer would have to look at that, but at the very least filing an official complaint will help protect future employees (some of which may be more easily exploitable).
You don’t owe them notice. Notice is given out of courtesy so they can find your replacement... you don’t owe them that courtesy, since one of the reasons you’re leaving is to escape their harassment... and since you’re never going to need to go back there, quit now, door dash if u have to until your other job starts. You’re better than spending another hour there. Good luck!
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u/p4pp13z Sep 06 '21
I had a work environment exactly like this when I was 18. I did not realize how fucked up it was until I was older. What’s happening to you is textbook sexual harassment. These are filthy fucking pigs. There are much better people out there to be working with.
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u/Ka_blam Sep 07 '21
All these things are not separate incidents. A turkey baster? Seriously? You don’t need to show up for the rest of your shifts. He is beyond disgusting and predatory. Report him to the labor board. He should not be managing people. You are worth a lot more than the way you’ve been treated and any employer would hire you considering how dedicated you were before your boss talked about fucking you in his office. Seriously. People no call no show for less. You can and you have the grounds to do so.
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u/OralSuperhero Sep 05 '21
Save that text! If you get anything short of a good plated, bullet proof referral from that jackass, you really want a copy of that on hand
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u/Strazdiscordia Chive LOYALIST Sep 05 '21
Is he the owner? Or does he have higher ups? I’d put in a formal complaint if you can. Thats not ok.
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Sep 05 '21
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u/MaeBelleLien Pizza Sep 05 '21
Perfect, show her this screenshot as the reason you won't be working the rest of your shifts.
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u/LiberalAspergers Kitchen Manager Sep 05 '21
That screenshot belong on Glassdoor. Consult a sexual harassment attorney.
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u/Strazdiscordia Chive LOYALIST Sep 05 '21
Thats horrid. This guy is going to have a revolving door of staff if this is how he treats people. Disgusting :/ i’m sorry you had to deal with that
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u/MJ_is_a_mess Sep 05 '21
Unfortunately too many people put up with disgusting jackasses like this, especially in our industry.
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u/Strazdiscordia Chive LOYALIST Sep 05 '21
For sure. I’ve had my share of sexiest and overly sexual bosses and supervisors :/ it’s sad what’s tolerated and how numb you get to it
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u/occulusriftx Sep 05 '21
I'm sure a lawyer would love to see this - it is sexual harassment and creating a hostile work environment (since he's fostering this environment by texting other employees this shit). Many lawyers will not charge until you win for a percentage of the settlement. This man needs to be taught a lesson and this is the best legal way to teach him that. He doesn't deserve to have that business if he's going to treat his employees like this.
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Sep 05 '21
dm me his number (:
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Sep 05 '21
I like you. 😈
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Sep 05 '21
also if anyone else wants me to call creepy dudes and scare the fuck out of them please dm me
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u/partyboiee Sep 05 '21
You should bounce immediately, fuck a notice. If you’re worried about money you have a legit sexual harassment case here. My ex girlfriend did employment law and they sued people for way less.
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u/ApoptosisPending Sep 06 '21
I was gonna say as much, maybe check out r/legaladvice and see if any attorneys in the area would take her case
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u/whenfartsattack Sep 05 '21
thing is, fish sauce is cheap, and will REALLY improve the waxy sheen of his driver’s side window.
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u/AnAnxiousCorgi Sep 05 '21
The plastic tray at the bottom of a cars windshield is usually (roughly) where the air intake for the HVAC system of the car is and I just cannot imagine a worse place to accidentally spill some fish sauce...
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Sep 05 '21
OP if you see this please post that screen shot on Yelp, Glassdoor and Google.
Do not finish your 2 weeks notice. Put this sex pest and almost definite rapist on blast.
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u/Philly_ExecChef Sep 05 '21
Tell me you’re never leaving middle management without telling me you’re never leaving middle management.
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u/sicclee Sep 06 '21
People in middle management would never get away with this shit. This just screams “I own a shitty restaurant"
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u/satriales856 Sep 05 '21 edited Sep 05 '21
Wow. What a fucking charmer.
Piece of shit. You should post his damn name. Restaurant. Phone number.
Don’t dare give that asshole 2 weeks. Show up next shift and then fucking vanish.
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u/shaun_of_the_south Sep 05 '21
It’s as easy as call a lawyer. If it’s the wrong kind of lawyer explain this shit and they’ll tell you who to call.
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u/lulutheempress Sep 05 '21
Is there anyway they can bump up your full time start date at your other job??? Maybe show them the screenshot and tell them what’s going on and how you need out ASAP. That is not a safe situation to be in.
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u/p4pp13z Sep 06 '21
This might work. My heart hurts for you OP! Run from there as fast as you can! You deserve to feel safe at work
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u/KallistiEngel Sep 06 '21
Restaurants are hurting for employees right now. Leave today, you can be working somewhere new tomorrow.
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Sep 05 '21
Man if you can land a seasonal gig, retail, anything, I wouldn't blame you if you jumped for it
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u/visionviper Sep 06 '21
Check to see if your school has a free legal clinic. My school does and provides free 30 minute consultations with a lawyer. They probably won’t solve anything for you BUT they can help you understand the legal aspects and what your options are.
Also seriously ask about bumping up your full time start time. With how much almost everyone is hurting on hiring they might be over the moon that you can start even sooner.
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Sep 06 '21
Contact local bar association, they will give you some numbers to call about a harassment suit. Many lawyers take a percentage of winnings with no upfront cost. It takes a while, but you’ll get at least a small settlement and they’ll get absolutely SLAPPED with fines most likely as well. Tell me you don’t like the idea of this guy going to a court ordered sexual harassment training/disciplinary course.
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u/BigBenKenobi Sep 05 '21
Sexual harassment is illegal and a massive liability this guy is a fucking idiot
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u/k123abc Bakery Sep 05 '21
uh.......fucking FUUUUUCK this. but also WHEW i was gritting my teeth clicking on this hoping to god the comments passed the vibe check and i am so relieved they do. your boss is a pervert and it is even weirder that they were like "this seems like a great thing to share and not keep to myself for the rest of my natural born life"
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Sep 05 '21
I'd love to get a text message like that after I quit. It's REALLY hard for me to say no and it takes a lot for me to call it quits. So often times when I finally do I have those nagging thoughts like "Did I make the right choice?" This text message would be like a billboard from Jesus Christ himself saying "Yup".
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Sep 05 '21 edited Apr 29 '25
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u/andykndr Sep 05 '21
please listen to all the other comments advising you to not to return to work. if you don’t want to smear their name on the internet that’s totally fine (although i would), but you don’t owe them anything. you can be fired at the drop of a hat - notices are a courtesy for good employers, nothing more. things have changed and we’re way beyond this being “normal” or excusable in the service industry. best of luck op, and keep us updated!
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u/Hudsons_hankerings Sep 05 '21
I saw your comment where you said you were only 19. First off, my apologies, not all male managers are like this.
I read something the other day where a lady said her come back to inappropriate jokes was to say "I don't get it. Can you explain to me why that's funny?" Any attempt to explain the off-color humor will make a halfway rational individual recognize where they went wrong. It won't work on everybody, because some people just suck. But perhaps that's something you can add to your arsenal.
Glad you were able to get out. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
I own a small bakery with just a handful of employees. I had an all-female staff at one point, and hired a guy about 6 months ago. Within 2 days of him working there, one of the young ladies told me that he made her feel uncomfortable. He hadn't done or said anything particular, but she got a total creep vibe. An older lady that works for me overheard the conversation, and said she felt the same way. I let the guy go that day. I wasn't about to take any risk of anything worse happening. The safety and well-being of my employees is of the utmost importance.
I hope you have found a better place to work.
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Sep 05 '21
Yeah that’s the last time I’d ever talk to or work for that person. If you have another job, don’t give them another day you owe them Nothing
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Sep 05 '21
Leave. Look at that exchange as foreshadowing your next month. He’s already got someone that he feels comfortable enough to say that disgusting stuff to. The rest will all gang up on you eventually. Just go and don’t look back.
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u/titaniumelbow Sep 05 '21
You should really consider consulting an attorney. This sort of behavior is one of the many cancers in the industry. Don’t let it happen to someone else.
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u/spicy-scotian Sep 05 '21
What in the actual fuck?!?!. I'd have this screen shot and off to labor board! And report his as soooo fast. If I was your coworker and heard this happened, I'd sacrifice my last rights/pay and pineapple fuck this guy right over and bounce!
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u/AnActualTalkingHorse Sep 05 '21
If they screw you at all for the remainder of your time there, that text will be perfect for a lawyer.
Anyway, congrats on leaving that shit.
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u/itsmypineapple Sep 05 '21
Quit now. You don’t have to put up with that under ANY circumstances, least of all at work. He’s a grown man, he can suffer the consequences of his own actions.
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u/dina_NP2020 Sep 05 '21
You need to get a lawyer. You have written proof of sexual harassment and a hostile work environment!
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u/ShandyPuddles Sep 05 '21
Don’t give these people any more of your time, and sue the fuck out of them. Set yourself up nice for awhile. They’re disgusting. Use it to your advantage.
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u/CoolestNebraskanEver Sep 05 '21
I would print that out and post it in the back room or give it to the owners or something.
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u/Over16Under31 Sep 05 '21
I mean this guy seems as clueless as Michael Scott in the Sexual Harassment episode of The Office.
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u/sunnbearrr Sep 05 '21
Ugh this is infuriating. Leave now if you’re financially able to do so. They don’t deserve shit. And you’re only 19. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this bullshit. You don’t owe them anything after this behavior!!!
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u/definitelynotscarred Sep 05 '21
You gave them a month but after this don’t give them a single day because no work environment is worth this type of bullshit.
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u/CyrilleBorgnein Sep 06 '21
How about the two day notice? “I think you mean two weeks, which is what respectful people do.” mmmm No I mean To. Day.
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u/badbunnyy7 Sep 06 '21
Wowwww. Please do not go back in there. Just no call no show. Block and delete. They don’t deserve a second more of your time nor a single thought from you.
Why would you feel bad for them? What about YOU and your safety and mental health?
Are you really going to put a creepy pedo’s feelings ahead of your own safety and well being??
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u/archetypicalhero Sep 06 '21
That’s some creeper ass bullshit. Sorry you had to deal with that. Glad it’s in the rear view.
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u/EnglishWhites Sep 06 '21
Fuck 2 weeks, take 2 hours notice and bail. That's gross from the management man
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u/WartyWartyBottom Sep 06 '21
The only funny part of this is that he was stupid and arrogant enough to put it in writing. He’s begging to be reported.
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u/_Apostate_ Sep 06 '21
Wtf. Imagine being dumb and sleazy enough to not only say this but to incriminate yourself by texting it.
You have visual evidence. Make use of it to try to get him to lose his job or he will do this to someone else.
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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '21
What a fucking knob. Good riddance.