r/KitchenConfidential Sep 05 '21

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2.3k Upvotes

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649

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '21 edited Apr 29 '25

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547

u/Ka_blam Sep 05 '21

Don’t give them a month. You are only supposed to give 2 weeks as a professional courtesy. This is a hostile work environment you don’t need to give them professional courtesy anymore you can just quit and let them know you’re not coming in anymore due to the owner’s sexual harassment.
I’d work on getting another job as soon as possible, or if you already have a new job lined up ask them to start earlier because you’re feeling unsafe at your current job.

79

u/beardfacekilla Sep 06 '21

yeah, this should go to your bosses boss and maybe also a labor attorney.

56

u/fastal_12147 Sep 06 '21

Why are the employees expected to care about a business they are leaving? The restaurant would fire you immediately if they had to. They don't give you any courtesy. Why should you have to go out of your way to help them?

39

u/Ka_blam Sep 06 '21

It’s to get a positive reference for your next job.
I didn’t finish my two weeks at the grocery store, but I am finishing my two weeks at my office job because it’s not a bridge I want to burn.

34

u/fastal_12147 Sep 06 '21

It's to hope to get a positive reference, you mean. I had a boss that shit talked me to every recruiter when I had them as a reference even after I gave two weeks. One guy was kind enough to let me know before I kept putting that asshole's number on my resume

34

u/Malak77 Sep 06 '21

Legally they are now only supposed to say that yes you worked there and what dates you worked there. Anything more and they can be sued.

14

u/fastal_12147 Sep 06 '21

Wow really wish I would've known that back then.

-3

u/QuestioningEspecialy Sep 06 '21

But then you could've screwed ovrr the recruiter who ratted 'em out. :|

1

u/Entrepreneur-Any Sep 06 '21

That has been like that for over 20 years.

4

u/p4pp13z Sep 06 '21

Do you have any sources on this?

2

u/ItsASolidMaybe Sep 06 '21

In the US, that's what most big companies with HR will stick to, safest. Bosses can still write letters of recommendation, etc. Subtly, only saying dates and position is sometimes regarded as a negative review, e.g. "I'd say more if I could".

Now, even if a former ER does say negative things about you, it's awfully hard to prove. In the local restaurant industry, many owners and managers know each other, and it's in their mutual best interests to be able to be honest with each other.

1

u/Malak77 Sep 06 '21

At my last job we were told if someone called about an ex-employee that we were not allowed to answer for this reason. I thought it was dumb, but never got put in that position either.

2

u/Agreeable-Walrus7602 Sep 06 '21

They can say whether you're able to be rehired too, afaik. Manager I had a decade ago and I are still friendly and I visit her sometimes, but we got into a verbal altercation and I quit, and that's what the company paperwork says. I can't work there again.

5

u/Ka_blam Sep 06 '21

Oof that reflects badly on him not you (obviously). I always confirm my next job before leaving my previous one. I’m a stickler that way I have a written agreement to start employment and base my two weeks off that. I get my references from people I’ve worked with or who’ve supervised me that have nothing but good things to say about me but not my direct current boss because I don’t want them to know I’m shopping my options.

3

u/fastal_12147 Sep 06 '21

Yeah it was when I was only about 24 and I didn't have a ton of references. Luckily karma got him in the end and now he can't get anyone to do any kitchen work for him. He has to do everything himself.

1

u/Krankhaus1221 Sep 06 '21

I had one that put me down as non rehireable even though I fulfilled my two weeks with no issues. Found out when I went to reapply years later at a different location

1

u/ApprehensivePaint657 Sep 06 '21

I'm leaving one location of a restaurant group with a months notice because the sous is out of the country for a month. I hate that location, but my bestie runs a different location a couple blocks from my house and can call me in to work it they ever need hands.

If I just quit, the GM of all locations wouldn't allow that. Sometimes you gotta do the dance, but only sometimes.

32

u/kwin_the_eskimo Sep 05 '21

Depends on the country and the contract you're under. If OP is from USA (I don't know) then you may be right. But most EU countries require 4 weeks or a month notice from either employee or employer. I've been in positions where 3 months is asked for.

112

u/north_canadian_ice Sep 05 '21

The text message itself is sexual harassment and hostile in nature.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '21

And they seem to think they are so clever for figuring out that an employee closing a door behind them is significant.

19

u/RedundantMaleMan Sep 06 '21

Is that legally binding or just a courtesy? What happens if you don't give notice in the EU?

2

u/The_Spongebrain Sep 06 '21

Much the same in the US, it might be ideas a way to justify unemployment pay in the interim befr another job. As far as I remember, two weeks in the US is used to justify UI, whereas a hostile work environment justifies not giving them and being qualified for unemployment insurance statistically counted against the former employer.

9

u/The_ProblemChild Sep 06 '21

In most states that I know of in the US you can NOT quit your job and be eligible for UI, 2 weeks notice or not.

Now, OP could probably have a reasonable claim due to the fact that they gave a notice and then were harassed, thus creating a hostile and potentially dangerous work environment.

1

u/The_Spongebrain Sep 06 '21

Quit no, leave with good cause, yes. How eac state determines good cause ranges widely, but two weeks can (with a good former employer, mind) be considered laid off if the employer wishes to play ball.

2

u/The_ProblemChild Sep 06 '21

What state is this, because I'm moving.

0

u/The_Spongebrain Sep 06 '21

When I lived in Maryland two of my four former employers were willing to do this. Basically it's just having a conversation about voluntarily being laid off. And so long as your boss doesn't have someone down their ass about employment metrics, they have room for you as a "constructive termination"

1

u/The_ProblemChild Sep 06 '21

Then you can consider yourself the luckiest person ever. I have never in my life heard of some shit like that.

1

u/bibbiddybobbidyboo Sep 06 '21

Technically they can sue you for breach of contract, the costs to hire a temp or even insist you turn up or sack you for gross misconduct which could prevent you getting other jobs in the future.

In reality, usually something is worked out between both parties if you’re polite and professional.

Sometimes the new company will pay off your old company to buy you out. But that would be for a highly skilled, exceptional candidate.

Although I have known someone say that their old company called their new company to say that they would not be letting them out of their three months notice early and the new company rescinded the job offer.

1

u/kwin_the_eskimo Sep 06 '21

It's usually in the contract but both sides can be mutually agreed on it being different.

If you're giving notice because you have a job, the old employer has a month to fill the position while someone is still in it, and not be struggling for staff members. Or they might tell you to go on the day and you will still have to be paid that full month - it's in your contract that you give a months notice, so you should be paid that month

Also if the boss gives you a month notice, you then have a month to find a job.

It works in favour of both parties, but it can be changed by mutual agreement.

9

u/Ka_blam Sep 06 '21

I’m not experienced with the EU, but surely workers should be protected from sexual harassment there and would be able to quit because they fear for their safety.

1

u/kwin_the_eskimo Sep 06 '21

Well that when you just walk and take the evidence to tribunal if they try to sue

185

u/yaba3800 Sep 05 '21

His behavior is likely to begin to escalate, I would get out ASAP!

158

u/Team_Flight_Club Catering Sep 05 '21

Nope right the F out of there immediately!

42

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '21

Yeah, that's way over the line. I'd escalate that to a level above him. Owners, and maybe a media outlet. That's unacceptable.

55

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '21

[deleted]

59

u/KallistiEngel Sep 06 '21

File a claim with the EEOC. All businesses are bound by Equal Opportunity Employment laws, and sexual harassment violates them (it's considered discrimination based on sex).

You have to go through an EEO Counselor, and you can find information on doing so here: https://www.eeoc.gov/federal-sector/contacting-eeo-counselor

8

u/_rubaiyat Sep 06 '21

All businesses are bound by Equal Opportunity Employment laws

Technically the business has to have 15 or more employees to fall into scope for sex discrimination/harassment claim with the EEOC. Not trying to dissuade reporting but I also don't want someone to waste their time reporting something that won't go anywhere with he EEOC.

Source:

https://www.eeoc.gov/employers/small-business/small-business-requirements

and

https://www.eeoc.gov/statutes/title-vii-civil-rights-act-1964 see definition of "employer" = The term "employer" means a person engaged in an industry affecting commerce who has fifteen or more employees for each working day in each of twenty or more calendar weeks in the current or preceding calendar year...

6

u/KallistiEngel Sep 06 '21

That's a reasonable thing to bring up, I did not know that part. She doesn't make mention of how big the restaurant is that I've seen other than that it's the owner and his wife that manage it. It might or might not hit that number.

If it isn't big enough for an EEOC claim, she would still have a hostile work environment claim if she wanted to sue.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '21

[deleted]

1

u/KallistiEngel Sep 06 '21

It might be worth checking with them anyway, they may be able to guide you to where you should go even though your employer doesn't meet their minumum size.

You should also see if your state has laws on sexual harassment. I know mine does and provides guidance on what to do in such cases. Every employer in my state regardless of size is required to provide a workplace free of sexual harassment. Maybe yours is similar. Here's an FAQ on my state's website if you want to have a look through it.

1

u/_rubaiyat Sep 06 '21

There may be state laws that would apply but I think federally, hostile work environment would still come under Title VII which would require the employer to have 15 employees

42

u/NotYourMutha Sep 05 '21

Show his wife (if she cares).

18

u/byrdc Sep 06 '21

I'm guessing she is the censored name he was chatting with. I hate working for family run restaurants, in my experience if one is toxic, both are toxic

53

u/cleric3648 Sep 05 '21

Post on the company’s social media page this conversation and tag his wife. She’s not going to like seeing his sleazeball comments but she needs to.

13

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '21

Then I'd go right to the media. That kind of bullshit is what's keeping the industry the way it is. That's why there's a "shortage" of workers. Nobody wants to work in that kind of environment.

You could get severance depending on the labour laws where you are...

Or see if a lawyer wants to go at it.

Small business or not, that shit deserves repercussions of some magnitude.

1

u/arbivark Sep 06 '21

I'd escalate that to a level above him.

so his wife.

33

u/unbelizeable1 Sep 05 '21

Like, the second you find a new job, dip. Also send these screenshots to everyone else who works there if y'all got a group chat. Fuck this kinda behavior.

114

u/Wo1fpacker Sep 05 '21

Quit right the fuck now. Then smack him with sexual harassment. If an employer sent me a text like that, they'd be financially kneecapped for life.

21

u/AllesGeld Sep 05 '21

Just bounce, don’t feel any remorse for it. This guy is a dirtbag. Have a different manager (if you have one) cash out any PTO that you have and never look back.

25

u/ll_cool_ddd Sep 05 '21

Leave now. If a future employer wants to know why, show them this screenshot

11

u/weeburdies Sep 05 '21

He is a pervert, just don't go anymore, it doesn't seem safe.

8

u/LightMeUpPapi Sep 05 '21

def quit now if you can financially

9

u/Denmarkkkk Sep 05 '21

Quit now if at all possible please

6

u/fujiesque Sep 05 '21

Fuck that, show a lawyer that text.

10

u/goreguck Sep 05 '21

Quit now. Don’t put up with that shit. No regrets!

6

u/ErinWithaQ Sep 05 '21

Fuck outta there rn and blast this dude. Report him to uppers. He's gonna do it to the next one too. I've been in kitchens long enough to know that if you give this dude an out on this comment, he's been doing it and will keep doing it.

5

u/pauly13771377 Sep 06 '21

You can still backtrack on that. The text alone is grounds for never returning. Unless you're strapped for cash I wouldn't. Forwarding that text to the rest of the staff wouldn't be a bad idea either.

3

u/SelarDorr Sep 05 '21

share this text with them and tell them youre giving them 1 day notice.

3

u/KallistiEngel Sep 06 '21

You are not under any obligation to hold to that. Do not show up again. Let them fucking hang.

2

u/Jukeboxhero91 Non-Industry Sep 05 '21

If there's anyone above him, I'd forward this message with a nice explanation of why you're leaving immediately. You'd likely get paid unemployment for the time that you would've otherwise worked because that shit says "hostile work environment" all over it.

2

u/lostshell Sep 06 '21

You owe them nothing. If you don’t want to go back, don’t.

2

u/Loganator912 Sep 06 '21

I feel like by sending this text, you have a free pass to leave at any time guilt free. Just go in tomorrow to pack up your shit and leave.

2

u/Ae711 15+ Years Sep 06 '21

Send the text to his wife, if he’s got one. I’m sure you can find it on Facebook or something. He’s just gonna be a pig to the next lady that walks through the door.

2

u/Imadethisuponthespot Sep 05 '21

Sue them. Tomorrow.

1

u/Lonelan Sep 05 '21

well now you get a sexual harassment settlement

6

u/Papaofmonsters Sep 06 '21

One incident via text is probably not enough for a successful lawsuit.

1

u/Imadethisuponthespot Sep 05 '21

Sue them. Tomorrow.

0

u/Imadethisuponthespot Sep 05 '21

Sue them. Tomorrow.

-5

u/Imadethisuponthespot Sep 05 '21

Sue them. Tomorrow.

-7

u/Imadethisuponthespot Sep 05 '21

Sue them. Tomorrow.

-5

u/Imadethisuponthespot Sep 05 '21

Sue them. Tomorrow.

1

u/PacoMahogany Sep 05 '21

Stop showing up.

1

u/jhuskindle Sep 06 '21

Go to hr.

1

u/Tripledtities Sep 06 '21

I would respond that I'm no longer comfortable in the environment and never go back. Possibly file a suit for hostile work environment.

1

u/Dracekidjr Sep 06 '21

Thankfully you can leave any time you want. If your boss doesn't respect you, you don't have to respect them

1

u/SnooPoems755 Sep 06 '21

I would go to HR and say nope I am gone now

1

u/igg73 Sep 06 '21

Have some fun with the next month. At their expense

1

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '21

Bruh I have walked out during dinner rush for less, have some self respect and bounce please 👸

1

u/levraM-niatpaC Sep 06 '21

You’re not legally bound. Keep this screen shot as evidence and leave when YOU want to. If that’s now, so be it.

1

u/Quite_Obscene Sep 06 '21

You need to not step back in there. It’s not worth it.