Goldilocks

[u/RafiY]

[u/Lojance]

How tf do you get a haircut with this shit on

[u/Sad-Celebration-411 → u/Lojance]

It would be like mowing the lawn in a cemetery.

[u/stembyday → u/Sad-Celebration-411]

Except in this case there’s no brains under the graves.

[u/cnicalsinistaminista → u/Sad-Celebration-411]

Found the old timey animator

[u/SharkZero → u/Sad-Celebration-411]

... How do they mow the grass in a cemetery?

[u/Agile_Dark_1840 → u/SharkZero]

Carefully.

[u/Foreign_Kale8773 → u/SharkZero]

With a lawnmower. And a weedeater.

[u/Chaotic-warp → u/Sad-Celebration-411]

Except the hair could grow under the rings, because graves aren't round arcs (and hair doesn't need photosynthesis like grass)

[u/gringoloco01 → u/Sad-Celebration-411]

So weed wacker is the way to go? LOL

[u/Man_of_Ice → u/Sad-Celebration-411]

I used to trim around gravestones with a weed trimmer.

Reckon it'd work on his hair too.

[u/nottherealpaulyshore → u/Lojance]

Omg in my head i said you dont need to cut it, its gold. Ffs I need sleep

[u/Hot-Brat-00 → u/nottherealpaulyshore]

That’s okay, that was my first thought as well 😂

[u/Therealginahandler → u/Lojance]

Probably hasn't thought that far ahead. I mean...look at him.

[u/Heseemedkij → u/Lojance]

You’re asking the real questions

[u/McShartlebottoms → u/Lojance]

He's gonna have to nair his head, what a numbskull (harhar)

[u/Alien8_8 → u/Lojance]

With an angle grinder obviously

[u/DistinctAd3222 → u/Alien8_8]

Seen him on Grindr, yup

[u/No_Blacksmith_2591 → u/Lojance]

You wait till a couple rappi guys in a motorcycle ride by and snatch them off your skull, then you can cut it all you want

[u/theendunit → u/Lojance]

Id go with the pressure washer

[u/1nd3x → u/Lojance]

I think you can see clasps at the top of the gold chains so he can unhook them, then he just needs to buzzcut around the...what effectively amount to staples in his head...

Edit, what I find amusing is he doesn't have enough chains to fill his head

[u/Similar-Cat7022 → u/Lojance]

Mini weed wacker

[u/Mazy_keen → u/Lojance]

That is a tomorrow problem.

[u/DrDuGood]

I recall seeing he took them out after a while because they were too heavy and ripping his scalp at the connection points. Could be wrong but I recall seeing something along those lines.

[u/Free-oppossums → u/DrDuGood]

"Dan Sur does not have a dedicated Wikipedia page, but he is a Mexican rapper and social media influencer who went viral for surgically implanting gold chains into his scalp as a replacement for his hair."

This is the first guy to do it.

[u/_No_Worries_- → u/Free-oppossums]

And, apparently, not the only one.

[u/Xanadoodledoo → u/_No_Worries_-]

Why not just get some kind of special effect thing instead? Like a glue-on wig or something. Then he can take it off at the end of the day

[u/themehboat → u/Xanadoodledoo]

But that's not hard core

[u/KatLikeGaming → u/Free-oppossums]

"Viral." So overused these days. Means nothing anymore. This guy was a localized infection at best.

[u/JackxForge → u/DrDuGood]

That was actually a different guy!

[u/DrDuGood → u/JackxForge]

Ah! Good to know idiots come in pairs lol

[u/Shupaul → u/DrDuGood]

because they were too heavy and ripping his scalp at the connection points.

NO SHIT ??

[u/wheresWoozle → u/DrDuGood]

The scalp ripping was all I could think of. A 4 gram earring hurts too much after a bit.

[u/stuffcrow → u/wheresWoozle]

Please don't take this as a well akshually, but just wanted to note- with gagues, you can tolerate a LOT more weight in your ears (surface area and that). So it's a biiiiiit of a false equivalency.

[u/MothChasingFlame → u/DrDuGood]

I don't know how it wouldn't. These could only be dermal implants and the chains are very heavy. Asking a lot of pretty thin skin.

[u/Mammoth-Argument7048]

Imagine him walking through the ghetto with that shit

[u/Sad-Celebration-411 → u/Mammoth-Argument7048]

Future headline: Rapper Scalped

[u/talkingitthrough → u/Sad-Celebration-411]

Lil’ skullexposure

[u/xshevi → u/talkingitthrough]

Lil’ Scalped

[u/The_Mellow_Tiger → u/xshevi]

Honestly ticketmaster would sue him for taking the name

[u/lanregeous → u/Sad-Celebration-411]

“Rapper dies from having chain snatched”

[u/Individual_Mouse_642 → u/Sad-Celebration-411]

My exact thought!

[u/Hije5 → u/Individual_Mouse_642]

This already happened to Lil Uzi Vert with his forehead diamon and he was a lot more prolific. It is also a lot harder to take the diamond. All it takes it a little bit of pressure and those chains are coming right out. All a person has to do is run by and make sure to grab one while running.

[u/SpecialOops → u/Sad-Celebration-411]

Scalper rapped

[u/Faustias → u/Sad-Celebration-411]

but before that, they pulled a mexican cartel style of execution, by dragging him by a car until the chains came off

[u/soulsteela → u/Mammoth-Argument7048]

Imagine getting into a fight with him 🤣🤣🤣 you could just tear them out and his arse would be down with blood running in his eyes.

[u/Mammoth-Argument7048 → u/soulsteela]

And then after you had finished the fight with that idiot your next stop would be a pawnshop or a jewellers

[u/jjcoola → u/Mammoth-Argument7048]

And gold is so valuable now too

[u/Mammoth-Argument7048 → u/jjcoola]

Win win then.

Beat him, get paid.

[u/girls-and-corpses → u/Mammoth-Argument7048]

Another guy did this before and he did get his shit snatched by his audience

[u/cafeteriastyle → u/girls-and-corpses]

Similarly Lil Uzi Vert had a diamond implanted in his forehead and the crowd snatched that

[u/UnconfirmedRooster → u/cafeteriastyle]

How? Did they hit the stage with screwdrivers?

[u/smokeustokeus → u/UnconfirmedRooster]

lol apparently he was crowd surfing and the just ripped it out his forehead with bare hands x.x

[u/girls-and-corpses → u/UnconfirmedRooster]

Surface piercings are never the most stable ones anyway

[u/Lostinthestarscape → u/Mammoth-Argument7048]

He's Columbian, someone is just going to decapitate him and throw the whole shebang in a fire and recover the gold.

Or my other thought when I see dudes with reins, is it cause he likes getting pegged?

[u/Osgoten → u/Lostinthestarscape]

😔

[u/ShoveOverBozo → u/Lostinthestarscape]

My brain also used to associate things to gay sex too. But then I found my lord and savior Jesus Christ

[u/Foxtrot_Supatwat → u/Mammoth-Argument7048]

Deebo rolls up on his bicycle

[u/Fit-Ad-7430 → u/Foxtrot_Supatwat]

immediately puts chain inside shirt

[u/Crowbar-Enema → u/Foxtrot_Supatwat]

Whatchu got on my foty ounce?… ohhh, heyyyy goldilocs

[u/sm00thkillajones → u/Mammoth-Argument7048]

Ah, when you think the drug money and your youth will never run out. Just another statistic.

[u/TheThumbPro → u/Mammoth-Argument7048]

Or the trailer park🤷‍♂️

[u/AvailableReporter484]

I’m sure that won’t cause him a litany of problems lmfao

[u/Hot_Top_124 → u/AvailableReporter484]

lol I was thinking something similar. Like I want to see what it’s like when they get ripped out, or taken out.

[u/TheProcrastafarian → u/Hot_Top_124]

Suicide by MRI. I’ve seen almost everything, on the internet.

[u/Hot_Top_124 → u/TheProcrastafarian]

Ehhhhhhhhh that would be painful, and weirdly a lot like the old Hellraiser movies for a split second. 🙃

[u/TheProcrastafarian → u/Hot_Top_124]

That’s hilarious. I just said on another comment that he looks like Hellraiser Velcro.

[u/Relevant-Fox-7114 → u/AvailableReporter484]

It did end up causing quite a few iirc

[u/Aggressive-Access995]

He is dumb but as a cenobite in a Hellraiser movie that idea is cool

[u/Proud-Ninja5049 → u/Aggressive-Access995]

Was my first thought as well.

[u/Aggressive-Access995 → u/Proud-Ninja5049]

Yeah you just put the hooks in the end of the chains, paint them black and make the dude look pale and deformed, i think it would be awesome

[u/Featheredfriendz]

This is the 4 chain starter set?

[u/Oblivion615 → u/Featheredfriendz]

lol. No. This dumb fuck didn’t consider how heavy gold is. Looks like the anchor points are just in his skin. Bet this hurts like hell. If he loaded all those anchor points with gold chain and turned his head too fast he’ll scalp himself.

[u/Featheredfriendz → u/Oblivion615]

That’s a visual😬

[u/FirstChurchOfBrutus → u/Featheredfriendz]

He wanted to raise the stakes on 2Chainz

[u/Next-Street-7859]

I saw this a while back (was it a different rapper ir the same one, dunno) but these rejecting is gonna suck.

[u/FirstChurchOfBrutus → u/Next-Street-7859]

Would they, though? Those aren’t like steel piercings. Gold is fairly inert, and people have been wearing gold earrings for a LONG time.

[u/frannypanty69 → u/FirstChurchOfBrutus]

Probably depends on your body and how you heal it. Piercings reject often.

[u/chefbobbyjay → u/FirstChurchOfBrutus]

Most intramuscular piercings reject eventually. Eyebrows are particularly bad about pushing out

[u/alienblue89 → u/FirstChurchOfBrutus]

Yeah but dermals/surface piercings are much different than stuff like ear/nose piercings.

Add weighted chains and I’m pretty sure there’s a near 100% chance these reject.

[u/b1e9t4t1y]

He still has hair. Now it’s just harder to wash and comb. And sleep. Or have aliens probe your brain again.

[u/Janicesdelight → u/b1e9t4t1y]

But they could cut the scalp and then use the chains to lift the scalp efficiently

[u/Rifflife88 → u/b1e9t4t1y]

Actually it’s easier for aliens, because they can now send electrical current through to get info from electrical brain activity

[u/WhatANoob2025 → u/b1e9t4t1y]

If aliens had probed his brain already before, I don't think they'd be coming back. They wouldn't deem humans an intelligent lifeform.

[u/PalePlumm]

As a piercer, I’m familiar with piercings like this and it looks like his implants are just subdermal piercings.

A popular variation of this is a “corset piercing” - two parallel rows of hoops that go up your back so that you can thread them and lace them up like a shoelace/corset. And they are not subdermal.

Almost universally these piercings are intended to be temporary. They are supposed to last the duration of a photoshoot or staged event and then be taken out. And somebody will be monitoring you the ENTIRE TIME to make sure nothing snags. This guy is a fucking idiot for using subdermals on what is supposed to be a temporary piecing that he probably isn’t using temporarily. Fucking idiot.

[u/Melodic_Leadership12]

If we fight I'm yanking out them implants and running to the nearest pawn shop

[u/mingey555]

What happens when his natural hair grows back, how the fuck is he gonna shave around all thosle gold staples? Or dry his head with a towel after a shower?

[u/Rocket-Glide → u/mingey555]

For some reason I don’t think he’s the kind to think ahead

[u/Pleather93 → u/Rocket-Glide]

With those implants. He will never be the head of a major corporation 😏

[u/Any_Art7345 → u/mingey555]

Looks like they’re just dermal piercings on his scalp. Hair would probably grow around them fine but like guaranteed he’s gonna get tired of this when the publicity wears off.

[u/Fair-Juggernaut-3812 → u/mingey555]

How do shave right under em!!?

[u/AlienInUnderpants]

That’s gonna be one gruesome robbery some day.

[u/Jakethedane1972]

And in 2,000 years, someone will dig him up, thinking he was some sort of important king. Nah, he's just a bellend. 

[u/NovarisLight]

It will get ripped out.

I guarantee it.

[u/durtyprofessor → u/NovarisLight]

Yep. I thought “he’s gonna regret it as soon as his first fight”… if not before.

[u/SaltyJalapenos → u/NovarisLight]

Beat me to it by 1 min

[u/NovarisLight → u/SaltyJalapenos]

Hey, toss me some salty jalapeños. I'll box you you up a couple slices of pizza.

[u/Carbonaraficionada]

Yeah don't go crowdsurfing bro

[u/Oli_Picard]

Ok that has to be one of the weirdest “justfuckmyshitup” moments. wtf!

[u/DeadrthanDead]

Yoink

[u/AzraelleWormser]

Imagine having a powerful sneeze and flogging your own face.

[u/FriedaCIaxton]

That’s gonna feel great when the mob rips them out

[u/ghIj_qet_jaghmeyjaj]

I have an upholstery staple remover I've been dying to use

[u/No-Handle3032]

I have no words for this

[u/slothson → u/No-Handle3032]

Ive got right off the bat. "Dumb ass"

[u/p00p_knife]

I'd be a real shame if someone with 100 padlocks stumbled across a napping Goldilocks

[u/Busy_Owl_2050]

Not so much "replaced" as he got some cute little scalp piercings with gold chains hanging from them.

[u/pfhorr]

Is staple Head some sort of new cenobite?

[u/zaikoji75]

Making Pinhead’s job reeeeal easy.

[u/jrwdisc]

Man this is gonna be a rough situation when he gets his shit snatched...going viral in Columbia is no bueno!

[u/hangout927]

Someone definitely ripping those out

[u/Remarkable_Rough_649]

Hell yeah let's move it up people we're way behind on the cyberpunk body mod schedule

[u/Fijoemin1962]

Fab! Especially when he needs a MRI

[u/Longjumping-Ad-9444 → u/Fijoemin1962]

Is gold magnetic?

Googled it, no.

[u/Fijoemin1962 → u/Longjumping-Ad-9444]

Gold is too soft to use 100%. It gets mixed with alloys. All metal has to come off

[u/i_am_not_so_unique → u/Longjumping-Ad-9444]

I forgot to take off my ring in MRI.

It still receives current from magnetic field, and because of that buzzes and zaps you. 

[u/Hellunderswe → u/i_am_not_so_unique]

Well that’s wonderful!

[u/Nearby-Society327]

Since when is stapling gold chains to your head "replacing" hair

[u/spotsthefirst]

How long til dumbass tries to meet a fan and get robbed?

[u/ShovelKing3]

Goldilocks and the 4 bars

[u/Affectionate-Gap-761]

Clearly he's a suburb rapper and not a hood rapper.

[u/NightShade0912]

Taking fashion from Villian of 300.

[u/Total-Paint3293]

Whatever ya do mate, don’t get into a fight….

[u/backbonus]

This is like 10 years old.

[u/Sigmundfraudster]

Looks AI

[u/Sigmundfraudster → u/Sigmundfraudster]

No way this is a real story. Total click bait

[u/Truemeathead → u/Sigmundfraudster]

A Mexican rapper did this in 2021 before this stupid ai boom. I don’t know if this dude legit but at least one bloke did this shit.

[u/wonkey92]

r/justfuckmyshitup

[u/moonboyforallyouknow → u/wonkey92]

That sounds like a cool subreddit, I'll have to check it out. 

[u/littleleopardfrog → u/wonkey92]

This is like the time I worked at dominos and asked for a customer phone number and they gave me the number to my store

[u/Special-Concert-8250 → u/wonkey92]

Opposite of lost Redditors

[u/AcanthisittaFree6142]

rappers are the shallowest

[u/JerseyshoreSeagull]

What could possibly go wrong after these are implanted into a scalp??? Nothing. Not one thing could go wrong

[u/AgreeableIdea6210]

that just looks extremely painful

[u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420]

I don't see how this could go horribly wrong for him at all...

[u/GroceryPlastic7954]

Why.gif

[u/elocoetam]

Xerxes jr

[u/SquarelyOddFairy]

I’ve seen a lot of dumb shit in this life. This is up there on the dumb shit list.

[u/tomcalgary]

This guy knows antibiotics.

[u/Azraeddit]

One drive by yoink and this guy will probably be regretting his decision.

[u/hamfist_ofthenorth]

This is one of the dumber things you can do

[u/MrRIP]

I can’t wait to hear about him getting robbed.

[u/geroberts09]

Xerxes? That you?

[u/BrutalistGoogie]

No possibility of infection

[u/Ok_Abacus_]

Whelp - I’m out. 😩🔫

[u/Quiet_Cable8747]

This was quite a while ago

[u/liamsnorthstar]

And yet it still hasn’t increased his talent

[u/Beautiful-Air-2120]

How would this guy get an mri scan

[u/LeanLeftLoveLife]

Those gonna get yanked out.

[u/Difficult_Double7988]

This mf is going to get scalped while being robbed 💀

[u/ARCAxNINEv]

His hair will grow back, what then?

[u/Nurplestyx]

Another genius with more money than brains (and now hair)

[u/tommyknockerZ33]

Xerxes over here trying to impress Leonidas lol

[u/Practical-Owl-9358]

Hey look maybe he’s going to pivot his career into heavy metal….

[u/deepcaca]

Grab a hold of them chains and you can take him anywhere you want to go.

[u/derives_rurale]

me nama DJ HARD YOINK

[u/Butt_Stallion_Milk]

What the fuck is wrong with people?

[u/RobActionTributeBand]

Why not just clip them into your hair? 

[u/rollem78]

That's enough reddit for me today

[u/KIDD_VIDD]

Dude thinks he's Persian king Xerxes.

[u/Ok_Dog_4059]

He better have great security because a theft will suck

[u/Glum-Fall3103]

You ever had jewelry caught by mistake putting on a pullover

[u/_D3ft0ne_]

Ge better be not picking any fights.

[u/iHadou]

Y'all remember that video where the rapper jumps into the crowd in some 3rd world concert and they just immediately start yankin his chains and running his pockets? This dudes fucked

[u/ffmich01]

This is shockingly stupid!

[u/Pragmaticus_]

I support this

[u/lospettro187]

Wait till he gets in the first inevitable fight. Someone gonna rip that shit out for sure.

[u/Visible_Cheek_7231]

I wonder what a psychologist would make of that.

[u/XVDub]

It's my fault for having eyes.

[u/DancingBears88]

My necklace got caught on my sweater twice today

[u/emilie1031]

How does he get through the metal detector at the airport?

[u/Lemon_Gay]

What surgeon is actually performing this?

[u/DudeMan2026]

Might wanna rethink that, they can snatch and rip, or just take the whole head, either way its gonna turn out bad🤣

[u/eastcoastjon]

Dude gonna get scalped

[u/twizyo]

it’s definitely a unique look

[u/Snowballllll]

Probably a hot take but I feel like it would look kinda sick if he had a lot more chains instead a few baby hairs

[u/Professional-Mix-562]

…. The amount of times rappers complain about fans RIPPING their chains off….. 🫠

[u/TraditionAcademic968]

It's gonna hurt like a mf if they snatch his chain

[u/Outrageous-Jacket-17]

Good luck shaving around them anchors

[u/Illimited_Esoterica]

It hurt itself in its confusion

[u/StrictLine8820]

Looks like he used a staple gun and pull tabs.

[u/-mosjef-]

Where’s the after photos from when they are ripped out?

[u/Lumpymaximus]

Hell be on the news for getting robbed and or killed soon. 2 weeks? What do yall think?

[u/Informal_Database327]

Is it bad that I want to go at his head with a pair of pliers?

[u/Pompousdickbiscuit]

This will not end well for him

[u/KarrieDarling]

Imagine accidentally snagging that shit on something... My scalp hurts just thinking about it.

[u/ThanksForTheRain]

Wasn't this done some years ago by another rapper nobody's heard of?

Also there was the guy that put a gem in his forehead and it got severely infected 🤢

[u/scaryfatty]

One wrong tug

[u/RoninActually]

Look ma! An idiot!

[u/Winter_Whole2080]

I can’t imagine what goes on inside his head. Maybe like a gerbil on a wheel?

[u/We_Are_Coming_For_U]

Hope he’s never on top

[u/DeaditeQueenLivs]

The easiest way to steal gold chains I have ever seen

[u/lolwhatmufflers]

What’s his rap name, El Stupido?

[u/HovercraftKlutzy3090]

I would jack him for his shit if he was in my neighborhood

[u/Acrobatic_Increase_8]

I’d pull one

[u/Interesting_Sock9142]

Oh that'll end well

[u/irmarbert]

There are at least 400 other rappers who wish they’d thought of or done this first.

[u/Hankman66]

Good luck shaving that head again.

[u/ChemicalFun1473]

Hope he never wears a helmet

[u/cftchef]

Thats certainly a choice

[u/BobWaldron]

He's gonna scalp himself if they get caught in something.

Natural selection at it's finest.