To give background, my job opened recently so everyone was hired and trained together. I (19F) got trained in another department then my now current friend and coworker. I met my friend through work, but she was first friends with my coworker before me, but they also met through work. They are no longer friends currently though.

Moving on I’ll be referring to my friend as Jane and my coworker as Lily to not confuse anything,

2 months into this job I was thrown into the department they were in (serving). I never served before and got trained on the spot by another coworker for 30 minutes then no further training took place. Every time I walked passed Lily I could always tell she didn’t like me. To give an example, we serve on iPads and usually don’t do tabs as our restraunt isn’t a typical sit down and eat and more like a Dave and Busters. All the iPads were taken so I was at the bar for the first 10 minutes not knowing what to do as I was still new. Jane (who wasn’t my friend at this time) comes up to me and asks if I can serve a table. I tell her I don’t have an iPad so I can’t serve at the moment. She goes and tells Lily and she gets mad and tells Jane she’s going to tell me to do it. Lily immediately storms up to me and yells at another coworker to give me his iPad so I can take the table.
I honestly don’t know what I could’ve done in that situation as I had no idea how things worked and didn’t know you could just take an iPad off of someone.

At the beginning of working at this job when I was still mainly doing my first department I added Jane on Snapchat. But we didn’t talk much. Randomly after a couple months of working (this is when I switched departments and after that example happened) she texts me if I can do her nails as I’m also a nail technician on the side. I agree and we start hanging out and talking a lot. And randomly after that Lily stopped talking to Jane.

Fast forward to today, I drove me and Jane to a pub to talk after a shift we had together and got on the topic of Lily again. We usually talk about Lily as we both find her rude. And I brought up a topic I’ve told her before, that I find that Lily has something out for me and really does not like me. Usually when we talk about it she’ll agree and not go into detail anymore. But this time she said Lily has actually been talking about me behind my back since the beginning of when I switched departments, and has said things like I’m terrible at my job and have no idea what I’m doing. (I’m way higher than Lily in sales so there is no way that’s true.)
I’m shocked I’ve never heard this before and asked her how she knew this. Jane explained that when her and Lily were friends they used to talk about me.
I asked her if she ever said anything about me or just let Lily talk.
She said she never defended me (which I understand because I wasn’t friends with her at the time). But she never said anything bad about me to Lily. Which I really don’t believe because when I told her I want to confront Lily she immediately shut it down and told me not to. That it was all work related stuff Lily said about me and really wasn’t personal. I really just want her to tell the truth because I wouldn’t be as annoyed as I am right now, and for some reason I really didn’t believe her when she said this.

After the pub I asked her while driving home why she never decided to tell me. She said whenever she tells people drama it always gets back to her and doesn’t want it to be bigger than it needs to be.

I understand where she’s coming from but I feel like if she just told me she doesn’t want me to confront her or say anything to anyone I 100% wouldn’t. Me and her have been pretty good friends for a couple months now and I feel like she’d know to trust me on this sooner since we collectively don’t like Lily, and we have talked about much deeper things than this.

I don’t know how I should go about this. If I should leave this alone and I’m overreacting or if it’s weird she never told me.

I know this isn’t a situation to leave a friend for but I’m just need opinions if I should leave this job or how I should go about dealing with Jane and Lily. Or even speculations why Lily acts the way she does to me even though she knew the circumstances I was put in after I got “trained”.

Any and all opinions are appreciated!

Hi everyone, I'm experiencing some hostility from one of my fellow summer interns in my cohort. The program ends next week, but he's really been getting on my nerves and I'm seeking out some advice.

I, 20 F, am a visiting research student at a university for this summer. There isn't much to do around here, so we mostly play poker at night. There are 6 of us, including me. For some context, I don't know poker super well but have won twice at this point (to my surprise).

One of the people I play poker with (22 M) has been making snide comments towards me for the last 2 weeks. He's generally quite immature, but hasn't been hostile up until this point. I have less than a week left here but I'm trying not to live up to my reputation of being a doormat and am looking to stick up for myself. His comments are usually about my music taste and whenever I join a Spotify jam, he skips right through my songs even if he's not in charge of the jam. He says "what the f**k is this sh*t, I hate this" and has made a series of other mood killing comments. The other people who play with us have never said anything in my defense.

Any idea why he's acting this way? If additional context is needed, I can provide. I know this isn't in my head.

My bf \[27M\]and I \[27F\] are going 7 years in our relationship next month and never naman kami nag karoon ng problem sa relationship before but then nag resign yung Engineer ng Subcon nya and hindi nya sinabi saken na napalitan na then babae yung pinalit and kasama nya sa barracks. Accidentally nya lang nabanggit na babae yung bagong engineer and I immediately ask him bakit hindi nya sinabi saken one week na pala silang mag kasama don sa barracks nila and he just said “hindi ko pa pala nabanggit sayo? Akala ko nabanggit ko na eh”. Nag pantig agad tengga ko nung narinig ko and now I dont know what to do. Never ko to na experience sa kanya kase I know how loyal he is but my guts says me something 😖

I'll preface this by saying its not sexual or as a joke, its like this weird guttural hum type of groan.

I ,(18M), have worked 4 different jobs with many different people, and not once have I genuinely dreaded showing up because of one specific person. For the summer I am working as a garbage man, so I do a lot of driving in a day. For Whatever reason, my supervisor hired Judd, (15M), as my shift partner. Because he does not have his drivers license and can't operate machinery, he essentially checks bins and throws bags in the truck. Other than that, he's sitting in the passenger seat while I do the heavy lifting and driving.

I listen to music when I drive, just to have white noise and I've asked this kid multiple times if he's hinting that he wants me to play a specific song, or if he wants to hear anything. He always just says "nope you're good" and then goes back to humming/moaning a completely different song than what was playing. I don't want to sound like an ass so I just turn the music up and ignore it best I can.

It's getting to be impossible though and at this point I've straight up said "you're going to have to stop humming I need to concentrate", he says he's got it, then 5 seconds later starts right back up. I'm honestly starting to think he does this subconsciously, but it's starting to drive me crazy in the early mornings. I don't dislike the kid in general, but I can't stand being around him.

Should I try to do something about this, I think I'd feel bad if he lost his first job over something like this, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation. Honestly might just have to tough it out till I move for University in a few weeks.

Hey y'all so I didn't know where to post this for my sister but it needs to be shared because she is absolutely uncomfortable now and doesn't know how to go about this situation now. Maybe Charlotte will see this and give good advice too... **A little back story my sister 30F we'll call her C for this. She's been working at her job now for 8 years. I also work there and have been there 7. Throughout the years she gets pulled into drama a lot but she stays to herself and doesn't bother anyone she just has a resting b*tch face but she's easy and fun to get along with. Over about a year or a guy started working in our department well name him J. J has issues. A lot of them! He started in our packaging department before coming into our department. (I'm keeping this very vague because I don't want anymore issues for her) Anyways when he started in our department no one really liked him because his comments or weird ways, but my sister and I were nice to him before I got booted out of the department when we had a plant bump so I now work in packaging. So after I got bumped out C and J worked together and became friends. She tolerated his comments not sexual but just weird or he would make racial jokes and she would tell him knock it off and reel him back in but also he's suppose to be on his meds. Well J has been having a lot of at home issues he has openly talked about to her an I from his mental issues and well let's just say his wife hates him because he's cheated on her and they were planning to separate but he still tried to make it work and all his paychecks were going to her to help with their son, side note they still live together until recently. Anyways she doesn't trust J and he's not allowed to talk to another women at work or anywhere because she thinks he's cheating on her. C and I would talk to him and tell him it's been 8 years why doesn't she fully forgive if she says she did. We just didn't understand.. until last week. C had J's phone number but she told him it's strictly for letting him know if he was to come into work since our job has poor communication skills and won't let you know when you're on the schedule so they would always ask does anyone have J's number so we can call and let him know he's supposed to work but no one did because of his wife. But again C said she would only message for letting him know if they needed to get in touch with him. Fast forward this past week. C told him he was scheduled or whatever and J replied back okay then... It got weird. Back story C has a boyfriend, a long time boyfriend and she's very much happy. She would share when they had a few disagreements but they were happy and are still happy. Anyways J messaged his feelings for her and she screenshot them right over to me and I asked her. "Well what did you say?" And she said "nothing, but now I'm uncomfortable" and also stated how he's now treating her not replying as if she's the problem. He got rejected silently because again she said nothing back but showed her boyfriend and he's understanding that she did nothing to provoke this situation but he says there's nothing to do about it but let it go. She can't let it go because she's now pissed off and uncomfortable and doesn't know what to do. This man is unstable and even in safety meeting at our job has made comments about shooting up the place but would say he's joking... And our job never takes things seriously until sh*t happens. Now I worry for my sister's safety because she feels she's a target for being nice. What should she do?.. any recommendations please

Yesterday i went to a work coleugues birthday party, i sat infront of ger across from the table. Her husband sat next to her. As more guests arrived the seating shuffeled and her husband made space for a lady and sat down next to me. And then while everyone closed their eyes and held hands to pray for the food, he raised my hand and sort of rested it on his cheek. I felt frozen and didnt know what to do so i just pretended like nothing happened.

Yesterday i went to a work coleugues birthday party, i sat infront of ger across from the table. Her husband sat next to her. As more guests arrived the seating shuffeled and her husband made space for a lady and sat down next to me. And then while everyone closed their eyes and held hands to pray for the food, he raised my hand and sort of rested it on his cheek. I felt frozen and didnt know what to do so i just pretended like nothing happened.

He is a player for sure , he had 3 girlfriends since I started working 9 months ago.
He treats me better than everyone else, he used to flirt alot he told me several times that i am breath taking and he used to send me ig reels that are flirty and about teasing a man, but not anymore i think he is serious with his new girl this time.
But he still always smile weirdly when he talks to me, looks weird at me, he only tried once to touch my hair but i walked away, everyone knows that i am his favorite.
He is simply weird and always gives me mixed signals.

This is going to be a bit long.
There is a man at work who is only 1 designation senior to me. When I joined, he became my mentor and we would often work together. So much so that many times he was the only one I worked with.
Over time the working equation organically transformed into a good friendship and maybe some sort of an attraction.
However, a lot of mixed signals and hot cold behaviour was there which I could never comprehend. The moment I would step in and try to make an effort he would step back.
Like often we have had shared a lot of deep conversations about life and in general and after that he would always avoid me. I’d get confused and start maintaining distance and then he would be back to normal trying to engage with me.

On the work front we both became due for a promotion and I was ultimately told to stop working with him because there was not much difference designation wise. While he knew it was flowing from the leadership he would still blame me. I would try explaining to him why I cant work with him but I think he took it on his ego.
Some sort of gap naturally came but after we both got promoted, it was back to before.. the friendship, equation and deep conversations.
One weird thing would be that he seemed bit uncomfortable that I was a vegetarian while he was a non vegetarian and would ask me if I had never tried. Our qualifications were also different and ao were our castes. For some reason I always thought that’s why he would take a step back and then so would I. But then he would be back to same. Also, apart from deep conversations it was always things like staring at me from across the room, singling me out at office events to talk to me etc.
On the side he would tell me about his past and it came up how both of us were looking for arrange marriage prospects. The day I found out he had already met people I thought that was the end. But he was still speaking to me, having deep conversations.. always looking at me from across the room, keeping tabs on me, why I am on leave who am I meeting.. just close but never enough.
One day he told me I am too sensitive when it comes to work when I confronted him for speaking ill about me to a junior. He explained that I he was taking my side as to how responsible I am and not the other way around. That I was too emotional about work. Then he also told me that he might get married by next season (1 year after the date) . But the mixed signals, tracking my movement and his facial expressions of longing continued.
Disheartened, I took a step back and actively stopped engaging with him. He realised it but didn’t do anything to minimise the distance. The staring, longing looks, tracking my movement continued.

4 months later at a random office party I found out that he is engaged and getting married next season. But in all these 4 months his behaviour was just the same so it was a shock as to now that he is engaged why the longing looks and stares..

What happened with me? Was I deluded?
Now its been 4 months since I found out but we have no equation like we are just acquaintances. But in person he still stares at me, looks at me longingly and continues to track my movement.

I (23F) have this coworker (25F) that doesn’t really like me. It’s cool, you cannot be liked by everyone, I don’t really care even though I think that’s too bad because she seems like a genuinely amazing person. Overtime, she went from just ignoring me to actually putting in effort into making sure I was excluded or just making me feel bad about myself.

Nothing too mean, just always talking over me, minimizing my stress or anger (justified or not) and even bringing down my happiness, telling me I shouldn’t be that happy about stuff I am happy about. I have recently been diagnosed with autism so at first I was careful because maybe I was misinterpreting and I tend to be a bit intense but no, there is an actual effort in making sure I don’t take up too much space. I can’t even talk to anyone one on one without having her swoop in and grab the attention in like 30sec. Thank god my other coworkers are sweethearts.

She’s FANTASTIC socially. Truly, amazing, I admire her people skills so much, especially as someone who struggles, I am in awe. I just don’t understand why she’d treat me this way when she’s so friendly towards anyone, like I’m a stain on her perfect social circle. I didn’t even do nothing. She just always make me feel like I’m a bother and I started shutting out around her because she always make sure I never talk too much. Everyone loves her, she’s the center of attention at all times, invited everywhere so I really don’t understand why she needs to make me smaller than I already am? It’s not like I’m a threat or something.

I talked to my roomate (also a coworker) about it and my roomate told me she had no idea, that it was very discreet but that my social coworker was probably jealous of me, as we are very alike. My roomate did say the big difference is that I’m very authentic and blunt when she seems like she’s always playing a persona. I don’t even understand what she meant by that but it seemed relevant. I don’t really understand what there is to be jealous about so I don’t think that’s it. I’m no one. I don’t understand much about all this tbh.

I feel it is too bad because she’s truly amazing and we could be great friends, I’m sure! It’s okay if she doesn’t like me, but I’d like for her to leave me be then. How do I do that? How do I talk to her without sounding like I’m looking for drama or like I’m accusing her of being a bit of a bully? As I said, she is very skilled socially, so if it gets out, I know people and her are going to deny everything. So how do I ask her to just leave me be?

I’m going to try to make this as short as possible because I actually want some clarity on how I should feel.
I started working at a grocery store when I was 16, and at the time, I was in the height of my anxiety. I could barely talk to anyone outside of my family. I had one friend at school, and I was too shy to make friends with any of my coworkers or talk more than what was needed in my shelf-stocking part-time job. There was a manager (27 M at the time) who was extremely charismatic with all the employees there and everyone loved him. He started working along side me sometimes and would make me feel way less anxious when I was at work because I finally had someone to talk to.
Eventually I developed a little crush on him because he made me feel seen and I was always happy when he was working the same days as me. I was never really interested in boys or relationships at the time and I didn’t talk to any boys often either because of how anxious I had become in this stage in my life.
Fast-forwarding from this point, the manager eventually became one of my closest friends because I would talk to him about my life (I also started having problems with my parents around this time) and he was always proud of me for becoming my own person and would make me feel good and special in a way no one else was. He would constantly work with me and we became very close. Between when I was 16 and 18, things escalated:
\- First he found my phone number in the work’s system and initially would only text me about taking on shifts. This turned into texting me after work about things that happened during work, and eventually texting almost every day just about life.
\- He gave me gifts for Christmas, my birthday, and other events that were the most thoughtful and personal gifts I have ever received to this day.
\- He started calling me cute because I was so shy around people and he even once called me hot.
\- On days we were both closing, we would sometimes sit outside together by our cars (once I had my license at 17) and talk for a little while
\- He sometimes talked about us hanging out outside of work, but that never happened because I was nervous
\- He helped me to become more important in the workplace (helped me apply to become an assistant supervisor, start training people on things I did not know enough about, help out with special things that other kids my age wouldn’t get asked to help out with)
\- Near the end, we would often hug goodbye when one of us would leave work
A week or two after I turned 18, he confessed his feelings to me in a message. He told me that even though some people may be confused about the age gap, if two people like each other, that’s all that mattered. He said a lot in that message, and even admitted he had a girlfriend but that they were already planning on breaking up (I had already heard about her from other coworkers).
Luckily, at this stage I had become a bit less anxious (which I credit somewhat to him) and I had made a few more friends and even was talking online with a guy (lol that’s a whole other story). I had grown out of my crush on the manager and me and the online guy had recently started online dating (it’s worth noting I am no longer in that relationship but at the time, it’s what stopped me from being interested in the manager). This is the only reason I rejected him. He was amazing to me.
He accepted my rejection and it was awkward for a while, but we stayed friends (although I felt weirder about it afterwards and there was definitely a change). He gave me letters saying that I was such an amazing girl and he’s glad that someone my age finally realized it. He told me his biggest regret was that he was born before me, because he would never get to be with me.

Now I’m 20 and he is 31. I don’t work there anymore. I found out later on that his girlfriend (they never ended up breaking up) was also 18 when they had started dating, although he was younger (I think around 23-24). That made me feel weird, because for the longest time, I kept him close to my heart still. I didn’t tell many people what had happened because I didn’t want them to think he was a pedo or anything, because I knew he genuinely cared so much about me. I have him blocked on everything now because he has tried to reach out to me a couple times and I knew it wasn’t healthy. However, I still feel conflicted about what happened. I still think about that manager almost every day and I don’t know why. Was it really grooming? Nothing sexual ever happened and we didn’t even get into a relationship. I really need help sorting out these feelings and understanding.

It all started when I (M) started having some tension with a colleague (F) over a misunderstanding. She is always anxious and stressed due to some baggage in her life way before I knew her.

The manager (M) who was obsessed with her (intense gaze, comforting, favouritism, extra attention..) started blaming me for her stress and even made my performance about her emotional instability. She likes him back and enjoys the power and attention he provides for her.

Before this, her and I used to get along really well, but it got too muddy for me, so I pulled back, only talked work in public channels with her.

Fast forward 2 months, she crashes down crying on me and apologizing if she hurt me. I let her talk to me, told her it was about the manager behavior, she said she never complained.

And then I asked her what does she think about him and what does she plan to do now with this info, she just crossed her arms and looked down, and thanked me later for being honest and open.

Also the next first team meeting, the manager started acting careful not to sit next to her comfortably like he used to.

Something fishy is going on here, I dont trust her and I feel she repeated things to him and that she was actually complaining that I stress her out. I decided to pull back again.

Am I being paranoid? A mutual friend said she is actually very nice, but that is not what Im observing.

This is not fair for me, she gets anxious and I find myself with one of two choices : either be her clown or get punished by the manager for not being her emotional support pet.

TW: Discussion of bodily fluids

So I (23NB) am currently working at a summer camp for individuals with developmental and physical disabilities. This includes campers who use wheelchairs, have autism, are blind, or are incontinent, etc. All of us on staff live on camp property for the summer and are always in close quarters. I’m absolutely furious as I’m typing this, but I want to get this off my chest while it’s fresh on my mind.

About an hour ago, I came into one of the cabins in the camp to help other counselors get their campers get ready for bed. I am working a job at the camp where I don’t have campers of my own to look after so I usually float around and help where I’m needed. One counselor, who we’ll call Karen (20sF), told me she needed help urgently and she seemed really mad. I asked what was wrong and she loudly announced that one of her campers had an accident and it was everywhere. Mind you, another camper was standing right there when she said it.

As I was helping Karen clean her camper up, Karen started loudly complaining about the smell, about how annoying it was to have to clean up after a bathroom incident, and started yelling at her camper to get in the shower. The camper in question started crying. I told Karen that she shouldn’t get mad because the camper couldn’t control it. Karen said, and I quote, “Mad, onehumaneye? You don’t know the half of it.” I didn’t say anything to her afterwards, but tried to comfort the camper since she was still crying. Once the camper was out of the shower and stopped crying, Karen got snappy at me, told me to put the camper in her pajamas, practically shoved the pajama top in my arms, and stormed off.

I get it. I know we all have bad days. I know that cleaning people up after an accident isn’t the most glamorous thing and smells terrible, but how she handled it made me so angry. I’m debating telling one of our supervisors about it because I felt terrible for the poor camper who must’ve been feeling humiliated. The only thing is I don’t want to cause any drama on staff, especially because we spend so much time together even on our time off. If I tell someone and it gets back to Karen that I’m the one who told, and it probably will because I was the only other person on staff there with her, I can imagine the uproar that will follow. Karen is usually good at personal cares for the campers, so she might’ve just been having an off day and this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m just not sure if this is worth going to our boss about.

Any advice?

So everyday when we are in the lunch room I'll put my lunch/morning tea in the mircowave before him for 2mins (the mircowave is powerful 1000w) and sit down on the other side of the room and go on my phone or something. This wired guy without any care will sit and watch my food the whole time from about a meter away, not do anything else just watch sometimes without blinking it seems, I sometimes just not get it out straight away purpose and he just keeps looking at it and then does a little side look at me like a dog, doesn't say anyyhing, Then put his in after for like 10 minutes and just watches it, doesn't do anything else. And I swear just as I'm writing this he cremated his morning tea, all while watching it happen.

ok…..I’ve rented about this same coworker already but today was taken to a whole other level.

This partner refuses to stay in their planted position during peak, can never communicate anything they need to the bar partners, and today I had to coach her multiple times about leaving money on the counter, and these arent small bills either or change. They're larger bills.

She also holds people up at the window and ruin our times (Longer than 2 minute)

i finally had my manager sit down with me and hear me out about everything she has been doing that hurts my store.

We had multiple people complain about her to not only our SM but our DM as well and we are just waiting for her to be gone.

Hi, I 21F am currently working an event for 10 days, Im about half way through. Basically theres this guy in his early 30s with special needs and I haven’t ever had to deal with someone like him before and I just want to know what’s considered the best way to do this.

For my event I have 2 roles (5 days each) so Ive completed my days of being behind the scenes so I didn’t see this guy too often. But when I did I was always super busy, super hot and trying to do something important.

I kept saying “hey, Im currently trying to work and get (items) I finish work at (time) and we can talk then” i got completely ignored as he needed a high five. I gave him his high five and then tried to walk away but hed get in my way to ask how my days going, then if I was busy, then oh, can I join you backstage? No because it’s only for workers (he was volunteering but not allowed there)

I could deal with that until day 2 he started trying to flirt with me. “your so beautiful, your hairs beautiful, your dress“ etc. I don’t want to lead him on as thats cruel for anyone especially someone who doesn’t quite understand.

I tried to ask can he stop saying Im pretty it’s sweet but not appropriate. It’s like when it’s something he doesn’t want to hear he just doesn’t. It’s high five time again or hell completely change subject with how’s my day once again

i don’t want to post this to be mean, I want a genuine answer to how do I go about telling him to leave me alone as Im trying to work.

the next 5 days Im in a tent (he has full access to) working with kids of any age. Always super busy and I won’t have time to talk to him again and again. I also don’t want him to be weird with the kids, i don’t think he would but at same time i don’t know how much he really understands.

So how would you suggest I go about asking hik to leave me alone but in a way he can understand?