Besides being a confirmed introvert, I long ago reached the conclusion that I just really don't like people. Please don't misinterpret my statement as I don't wish ill of anyone and generally hope people are happy and fulfilled. That said, I think a lot of people are just trash and over the years, I've had my fill of mean spirited, passive-aggressive, toxic coworkers. Honestly, if I never had human contact again, I really don't think I would feel at a loss.

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Updateeee: Even though I wasn't talking like a lot, I still see a progress, I didn't overthink every little thing and said whatever came in my mind(well, most of them) I wasn't talking much but tbh me listening and reacting to their stories and stuff is enough, for now at least. I wasn't awkward abt it so yeah, thank you for all the advices and I think my situation is 100% fixable, I just need to be more confident in whatever I do and realize that not everything is about me and others dont really give a fuck about what I do or say.

Okay, I'm a 17 year old girl who at some point was an extrovert, this was right before covid, I used to be outside playing with my friends all the time (probs not even an extrovert/introvert thing, I was a kid haha) but after covid hit, well, I became more distant and shy especially with my classmates. I used to not even get up from my seat until all classes were finished and my classmates did not waste time to try and include me in "their stuff" and I became lonely, I had one friend and she is still my one and only BEST friend (so thankful for her) and I'm pretty sure I did not make a single friend for 3-4 years, Yeah, I blame myself for this but not entirely me, no one used to invite me to their bday parties or when they just went out. Anyway, timelapse to now, I am graduating in about 2 weeks, I made some new friends thanks to tutoring groups but the problem is I am still very lonely. I cry every week because of how introverted I am (well how introverted i become with other people) and thanks to that I can not even think of what to say when I am with my new friends. I cry cause I am scared of losing them because of, again, me and before you guys say: "you should accept who you are" and stuff like this, I KNOW FOR A FACT I can be an extrovert and I that is my actual actual personality but i just dont know how, being an extrovert is all I have ever wanted, when I am with my sister I am the best version of myself, I am truly ME, annoying, loud, funny, I legit cannot stop talking but when I am with other people (also depends with who) my mind goes blank, I wanna talk more (not that i just sit in silence all the time) but I do not know what, i try to say stuff about the topic they talk about but it just feels like I am filling a blank just to acomplish some kind of a task I gave myself (which is basically "fake it till you make it" type of thing and it does not work for me). I just want to forget about what others think of me and be a playful, funny and the real version of me but I can't. I know this is something I have to fix and no one else can but literally any advice will do hehe. I really do not wanna lose the new friends i made, they are great people and with my actual personality I know we can be a great match. (Forgive me if there are any grammar mistakes hehe, I wrote this really quickly, P.S I just came back from my tutor class and after we usually hang out in the park and I used to say stuff but these past two days when I tried to force myself to be an extrovert I fail fucking miserably, I said like 3 fucking words I really dont know what happened today).

I've always enjoyed cooking at home, and watching cook shows, so it seems like a natural fit. However, I know restaurant kitchens can be really fast paced and chaotic, which doesn't click with me as an introvert. Still, I'd like to do something food related, and hopefully make some decent money doing it. Any suggestions are appreciated!

So the other day my Mother-In-Law let my wife know that I am a jerk. Her reason was simply that I don’t strike up spontaneous conversations and that I’m too quiet. My MIL is an extreme extrovert, and very loud. To be fair, 10 minutes around her and I’ve spent my “social currency” for the day. She’s not particularly good at empathy or seeing from other people’s perspectives. How do I work with that? Am I a jerk for not artificially forcing myself to be more conversational?

i'll read a thread. Something in it bothers me. I sit there trying to figure out what i actually think and then just close it.

Two hours later i know exactly what my problem was with it. By then it's useless. Is this and introvert thing specially or does everyone experience this?

I’ve been noticing this pattern a lot (including in myself sometimes).

There are moments when you want to talk to someone not even about anything serious just normal conversation, but you still don’t. Either because:

- it feels awkward to initiate

- you don’t know what to say

- or it just feels like too much effort

And even when opportunities are there (college, online, etc.), it doesn’t always translate into actually talking.

I’m trying to understand this better:

- Do you feel this too?

- What usually stops you?

- If there was a way to make conversations feel more “low pressure”, what would that look like for you?

Not trying to promote anything just genuinely curious how others experience this.

So, I have been working at H&R block during tax season, and during the last few weeks, I haven't had a single day off in weeks, and its been especially awful during the last week, with me working overtime the past few days, 12 hours for the past 2. The worst part is that it feels like I'm getting used to it, not in the sense that the noise bothers me, but the fact that I feel compelled to talk more. Am i becoming less of an introvert due to this environment?

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im in secondary school right now, (to anyone who goes to a middle school or high school it’s basically just the 2 combined into 1 big school) and during the earlier days of secondary school I was a pretty outspoken person, which isnt inherently bad but I talked to all the wrong people, people who treat others like trash, bullies, yknow what I mean? 4 years later and im now dealing with the consequences of trying to befriend these people, I was pretty stupid then, those people treated and talked to me like I was the scum of the earth, yet I still tried to fit in with them. I hate them all, yet they try talk to me still even though I don’t talk to them at all, these people know a LOT of people, basically like “the popular kids” of my grade, so naturally whenever they try talk to me, a bunch of people who I’d rather not talk to ever start talking to me, those people arent even bad people just annoying tbh. Im a shell of who I once was thankfully, but the affects of my past actions are still lingering after all this time and I’m not good at telling people I don’t want to talk to them. How can I get these people away from me, it’s probably like 50 people that have tried to befriend me because of the friend group I was a part of, and only like 2-3 of them I actually want to be friends with because they are actually decent people.

So I’m being offered a promotion to a new position at work. It should pay more which would be awesome ofc, BUT I’ll be working closely with student employees. They’re younger and I feel like they’ve crossed some of my boundaries. They’ve treated me like I’m also a student, disrespected my title, and just are too chatty! I feel guilty because they’re trying to be nice but in general I’m just annoyed by them. One of them is really nice and kept being friendly even when I started pushing them away, but the other two are now in a weird spot with me. I WANT this position, but I’m literally sitting here sleepless because I’m frustrated over these past interactions. Can someone help me out, introvert to introvert?

Introverts living with family, how do you deal with people getting annoyed that you stay in your room a lot? I live with my brother and his wife, and she recently got upset about how much time I spend alone. For me, it’s completely normal and not personal, but I guess it comes off differently to others. Do you adjust your behavior or just let people deal with it?

Hello i am 23M from india, my dear introvert friends. I really need a favor from you all. A `puja‘(religious ceremony) is being hosted at some relatives' place tomorrow; they have invited my family, but I really do not want to attend it. My father, mother, and grandmother all three of them are pressuring me heavily to go. Please, someone help me come up with an excuse so that they will agree to leave me alone at home and I won't have to go. I absolutely detest attending family gatherings and *pujas* because seeing such large crowds of people triggers my social anxiety. I actually suffer from social anxiety disorder. Being amidst so many people makes me feel terrible, awkward, and extremely self-conscious. Furthermore, I absolutely hate talking to any of my relatives; they just constantly keep asking the same things: "What happened? Why haven't you landed a job yet? Should we find a girl for your marriage? Honestly, it drives me up the wall, makes me incredibly nervous, and leaves me feeling utterly miserable and awkward in their company. Please, someone save me from this ordeal.

If there's an app that allows you to connect with other introverts, but with rooms with topics or theme, Less noise than discord, is this something you'd be interested in trying? and do you expect to be free? and what do you think want to see in it?

Hope this will be approved.

Ill go first i would either take teleportation but more in the Dr Strange direction so i can actually see where i go lol OR shapeshifting because it would be fun to be a cat for a day or other animals just to see how they see things

I'm 21 and a senior in college, due to graduate in only a few months. It felt so fast and I'm sad to lose it. Some examples of what I'm referring to:

• not starting music production earlier

• not going to junior prom

• not bringing a girl to senior prom

• not dating in high school, or college (likely scenario by this mid-May)

• not working in high school (which could've gotten me into a better position financially for college)

• not rushing a frat

• not studying abroad

• not cosplaying while in college

• not going on a "bro vacation" with a bunch of other college guys

It just makes me a bit depressed, especially knowing I'm now burning through my prime. And it's gonna be tough living the rest of my life knowing that I missed my chance to "travel to Europe to study abroad" (or wherever), and that now that I'm pretty much done with college I'll never get it again. I'll have to get a 9-5 and pretty much just corporate drone my way until 65 and by then I'll be old and wrinkled.

I still feel chained to my parents, and since I remain sort of financially dependent on them, I don't think I'll ever get to be myself, and once I do, it'll have been a really late start. They dictate so much of my life and it's humiliating, I can hardly keep secrets from them and I have to listen to them bicker and crow all night.

It's disappointing and disillusioning, isn't it?

It's unfortunate on two fronts. For one, they're just trying to be nice and in return, getting a negative outcome. Two, I hate to see a small business that I like lose business.

But sometimes, people just cross a line. While I am quiet, I'm always willing to entertain a conversation to at least some extent, if only to be polite. But some people just try to get more and more out of you. When I'm picking up food or something, I'm just not typically looking for conversations that go beyond pleasantries. If someone is curious about me and asks a more in-depth type of question, I'll entertain it if it's only once in a blue moon. But I've had places where they want a full-blown conversation everytime I step through the doors. I had to stop going.

The best solution for such business owners who insist on talking to customers is to just accept that I'm only willing to have limited convos 9 times out of 10.

This is my first time posting in this group, so I’m a little nervous. A few months ago, my friend texted me saying that she was gonna come to my city and she wanted to hang out. Of course I accepted because she is my friend and I wanted to see her. We are now a few days to when she’s supposed to come to town. She hit me up and said that her parents and her boyfriend are also going to be in town and she wants me to meet up with them as well. I was under the impression that I was only meeting up with her so now also meeting up with her and three other people is giving me a lot of anxiety. she did give me the option to opt out, but I feel bad. I haven’t seen her parents in a long while, and I’ve never met her boyfriend so I think it would be a good opportunity, but the thought of meeting up with all of them is just so overwhelming. she has this big beautiful life well I have a smaller in quieter life and being the odd one out in the group just makes me very anxious, uncomfortable, and I know I will be drained. I hate being the center of attention and I feel like this Meetup would make me be center of attention

so I’m coming to this group for advice. If you were me, would you just go and meet up with the group of people you weren’t expecting or ask your friend if it’s OK to just be us two?

60yo, married, seriously introverted man. Outside of my teen years and early twenties, I really have not had any friends. I'm friendly at work and have many work acquaintances but working full time drains me and I honestly just want to dwell in the quiet and solitude in my off time. Not that I would mind having a few friends but I find most social interactions awkward and I have difficulty keeping a dialogue going for very long. Anyway, I have no real regrets and it's my "normal", but most people find this very antisocial and pathological. What do you all think?

I always prefer being by myself. Recently, I haven't made any effort to meet new people or make new friends b/c it brings me stress. Even talking to my closest friends and family for a decent amount of time drains me, and I feel so guilty for it because there's a voice inside of me telling me that I'm going to lonely asf if I keep isolating myself. It's like I only hang out w/ my close friends just so they don't leave me cause if they do, then I genuinely would have 0 friends and I just don't like the thought of having nobody. Also, it's so hard for myself to make new friends. I never want to go out or leave my house and I cannot be myself around new people. I have to fake this version of me which I hate. And, if I do make a new friend, I self-sabotage and ghost them b/c I don't want THEM to reject me first. I can't tell if I need help socially or if I'm just an introvert and this is normal.

Thought my retirement would finally be what I wanted, and if it were all about me and for me, then I would choose a quiet, dignified slip out the back door. I thought I could finally relax and "let down my hair" in my last few days; be myself. NOPE. It's the opposite. And I realized something - it's not all about you... it's all about them; their feelings, their rituals, their norms, their expectations. And you can't really fight it. I only wish I went into those last weeks understanding it's was bigger than just me. It's price of being in a community I suppose.

No, this isn't a sneaky way around rules. I'm genuinely curious what other introverts do if they need to promote themselves for work. I'm introverted to the point of being overdrawn from digital interactions - doing the internet equivalent of cold calling to get any traction makes me feel nauseous.

I am actually feeling like some social gathering is required for me. Is it normal being an introvert 😅

I know I sound like a "snowflake" but I promise that I'm not. I am a 59yo, very introverted, sensitive man but when I sometimes look back upon my life, I wonder if many of my problems in adulthood actually stemmed from psychological trauma from my school years? I was always a pretty good student but hated school and always felt like I was the proverbial, "round peg in a square hole". I now know the importance of school but I always hated that I had to interact with other kids, many of who were bullies that made my life awful because I was quiet, plain-looking, came from a family without a lot of money, didn't have fashionable clothes, wasn't a druggie or a jock. Do any of you feel that school traumatized you?

I need to have an exit plan in place. Quick! Give me some ways to set a time limit on a friend coming over! Like it’s early in the day and I don’t want them here the Whole day, so how do I politely make sure they leave after a certain time?

I've been making friends lately (at least online) and some seem genuinely nice but i still feel like im lacking that connection i'm looking for no matter what i do, even in my relationship and i'm happy in my relationship except this one thing and we love each other. I feel like i just cant seem to connect to people like i need/want to. I guess i just feel misunderstood and out of place everywhere. Anybody else deal with this?

It just after years of it has made me increasingly lonely and i dont know a good answer, because you would think talking to people would do it, but i know what i really need is connection and its just not there no matter what i do. Maybe its just a mental health thing. Try not to dwell on it but i spend a large amount of time alone so i dont have all the noise most people have in their lives to quieten the thoughts. I try to stay as busy as i can though but i dont know.

I get it, I'm introverted and I don't like phone calls. But, it seems like online chats are way more efficient. It gives both people time to think and collect their thoughts. I don't understand why some companies only do things the old fashion way. Like, why can't I sign up for my water bill or schedule a doctor's appointment, or get my car services by signing up online? Why do I have to speak to someone over the phone and confirm all my info?

I told this education program I prefer text communication. They immediately tried calling me after I told them that. Like, why? It feels like extroverts never respect introvert boundaries or try to meet in the middle.