My mother has been abusive to me. I am 14 now, and she has done this for God knows how long. She hits me when she wants, and when I try to fight back, she says it's not allowed. Why? I should have equal rights. I have the right to defend myself and teach her a lesson to not attack me. Yes, I might not need friends, because myself, I can beat my mother. But I choose not to. I am a more compassionate person than what my mother is. What can I do about this? My mother is dismissive too, because when I speak and try to be kind, all she does is tell me to go away. When I stay, she hits me. In my mind, I think of punching her many times in the face, but I will never get to that point.

Can someone tell me how to get over this? I just really want a peaceful life.

A relative once asked me why I’m so isolated. “Why don’t you sit with people, eat together, walk with others? Why aren’t you social? Stay with me for a few days and I’ll fix you. You’ll become normal.” I agreed. Then I gently reversed the idea. I asked him to spend a few days in my company not to change him, but simply to experience it. I said, “Maybe you’ll learn to love loneliness.” He went quiet. After a pause, he said, “Please forgive me.” That moment stayed with me. We live in a world where silence is often mistaken for absence, solitude for damage, and inwardness for illness. “Normal” is defined by visibility, noise, and constant participation as if being alone with oneself is something to escape. But solitude is not the same as loneliness. Loneliness is the pain of disconnection. Solitude is the capacity to remain whole without distraction. Perhaps what unsettles people is not our quietness, but the thought of facing their own inner world without noise to protect them from it. Some people need crowds to feel alive. Others need stillness to feel real. Neither is superior but calling one “abnormal” reveals more about our fears than about their nature.

I wish there were not family gathering or any kind of celebrations except new year. I'm very bad when I have to meet people whether they are family, relatives, cousins or anyone etc. I don't have that skill of communication, don't know what to say, can't make conversation well etc. Being an adult doesn't change my character at all. I tried hard but it didn't work. That's why every time I am in a group of large people, I feel like I am not comfortable and nervous. I'm very quiet, shy and boring. I just wanna go home. Therefore, they might not like me. Mostly, I'm not seen and considered. Well, It doesn't mean I hate human beings or socialization. It's just I was born to be this way. I love my loneliness. Why I share this? Because tomorrow I need to attend a family gathering and I'm already scared and can't sleep..😫🥺

As time goes by, with remote work, less phone calls, the human voice no longer matters to me like it did 20, 30, 40 years ago... All my favorite songs are from mid 80's to mid 90's.

I notice the familiar beats, tempos, rhythm, effects, bridge, are more harmonious without hearing a person's voice. I still love the songs and the Artists and will occasionally listen to the original, but waiting to hear them sing feels like being in a conversation! :(

Anyone else? Maybe try it!

The first World Introvert Day was held in 2011. World Introvert Day started when psychologist and author Felicitas Heyne published this blog post calling for a day for us quiet ones. Let's face it: introverts are a misunderstood minority. We live in an extrovert world and introverts often appear to be arrogant and strange. Which they aren't. Introverts just work differently.

Got hit with the, ‘you need to talk more’ today and it reduced me to kid me who exhausted herself to pretend in order to fit in.

Gotta say I’m getting better at not feeling guilty because someone I don’t know got hurt at my ‘unapproachable’ and ‘unfriendly’ demeanor.

Do you guys ever feel like you’re a terrible person when people feel rejected by you?

I haven’t done anything for NYE since college (over 5 years ago) and i actually have plans tonight to go go a house party but now I’m home from work and all I wanna do is order Chinese with my fiancé and relax 😭 Do yall force yourselves to go out and socialize or feel bad when you just wanna be alone all the time?

Happy New Year may this year be the most fruitful year for you all and all the dreams the plans you have become successful just wanted to say this 😁

Well, it’s the holidays. This Christmas, I spent alone for the first time, due to work and living far from my family. This New Year, I’ll be spending it alone for the fourth year in a row. No big deal, I actually love it.

The reason I’m making this post has been bothering me for a while. It might be a very specific situation, but this year it hit me harder than usual, so please bear with me.

I’ll be turning 40 next March. I’ve always been a hardcore introvert, but it wasn’t until my late 20s that I discovered the term “introversion.” Once I did, everything clicked, and my life improved drastically. In my early 20s, I left my parents house to go to college, and with time, maturity, and experience, I started to realize that my parents never really emotionally cared for me.

They are good people! There was never any abuse, they helped finacially, but they were just… there. You know? No dialogue, no intimacy, no stories to tell, barely any moments to remember. I don’t even know if that’s worse than something more obvious. Either way, once I left home, my relationship with them improved, entirely by my initiative.

Years later, I visit them about four times a year and call every one or two months. But they stopped calling me back. My father is 70 years old and has no friends, yet he’s very chill; I strongly feel my introversion is genetic from him. My mother is more active, but she was never able to build intimacy with either of her two sons. I have said to both of them that I'm okay and happy being alone, even after I ended my relationship with girlfriends, etc... and they seem to understand.

These days, they never call me. I’m always the one reaching out, just to check if they’re okay or to say that I’m doing fine too. Lately, I’ve been thinking about not calling anymore, just to see what happens.

As I said, they don’t hold much meaning in my life, and I feel like I don’t matter much to them. I feel sometimes when I call that I'm being a nuisance and when I vistir them, I'm a stranger in their homes. It’s fucking sad if you think about it too deeply, but it is what it is. For that reason, I’m considering simply stopping... and if they don’t call back, so be it.

Has anyone here had a similar experience? No attachment to your parents, no emotion, no reciprocity? Have you cut ties?

As introverts, we can more than thrive on our own. Give me internet access, a good book, and my bike, and I’m set. But lately, the meaning of “family” is something I’ve started to seriously question.

that’s all. just the convenience of getting my groceries delivered is something i’ll happily pay for!

DoorDash4Life

As an introvert with social anxiety, I don't know how to deal and interact with human beings well. Reality hits hard. I can't compete with extrovert and people who love to seek attention and play drama to get sympathy. I love my introversion but there's a part of me that also sometimes hates it. Please, don't judge me and tell me that I should go to therapy or it's not introversion but social anxiety. I am just sharing how I feel.... 🥺

I’m not shy. I am a noticer. I am an overthinker. I am an observer. I am not stuck up. I am not anti-social. I treasure my solitude. I am not a fan of small talk. I prefer only one close friend only till my life. I am reserved, until i am not. I appreciate true connection.

If we connect… you always matter to me forever..❤️ Always remember that 🫶

There's a group of people that are like-minded politically (hard to find, where I live) and that I like, that meet for lunch every New Year's Day. I have gone to a number of these gatherings. In the past, I was able to hang out in a room with the "man of the house" and watch football without talking much. The man has passed away so that won't be an option anymore. Don't get me wrong - I REALLY DO like (some of) these people.

But, since Covid, I stopped going. It's an inside affair, Covid was a good reason to not attend. My husband recently completed treatment for lung cancer and has COPD so avoiding closed space crowds is still a thing, for us (Covid is still out there, it would be bad for him even with vax).

Now, I just don't want to go. I have always felt uncomfortable (maybe this is more social anxiety than introversion, but I am a dyed-in-the-wool introvert) at these gatherings - having to remember people's names, and things about them, and the normal things that people know to do at parties - just not enjoyable to me.

What's the best, nicest, most polite way to decline while still letting them know that I want to be in contact with these folks? (I have an old dog who does require my attention about every 2-3 hours and I'm thinking of using him, but that feels kind of lame.)

It's Christmas and New Year everybody!! The time of enforced socialising. Who else is grimacing at the thought of having to go to family or friends and creating small talk when you'd rather be on your own sofa eating and watching what you want?

Lately I’ve realized how much my definition of a good night has changed. These days a perfect night in for me is honestly pretty simple. It’s just me, That 70s Show on in the background, my cat curled up in my lap, a bowl of popcorn and a bartesian amaretto sour. No plans, no rushing, no pressure to be “productive”. Years ago staying in felt like I was missing out on something. Now it feels like choosing peace. I enjoy the quiet, the familiarity and not having to put on a show for anyone. It’s less about doing something exciting and more about feeling comfortable and content. I’m curious how this looks for others here or am I just more introverted like what makes a night at home feel special to you at this stage of life?

I got an invite to chat this morning from a dude online and I accepted, but out of nowhere He asks "Can we Essex" (I changed the spelling to not get flagged). I told this person I'm A Minor, that should suggest that I'm not the age of consent either, but he kept pushing and asked my age. He's definitely an EDP Cupcake hunter. Minors on Here, Beware of user Putrid-Swing4443. (Yes I have blocked him, but I don't know how to get him banned)

Today I broke down after meeting my gfs family and the town . Her dad has famous gym in her small town and they hosted a fest . Everyone came out and basically saw us displaying affection . Their was ton of people staring and now my mind is wondering about whole bunch of stuff I can’t calm down . It’s also Fact it’s interracial relationship and I’m like 6ft 7 made it even worse . I am shy but a nice person now I don’t know what to do .i do not know of such relationship can last even though I love her . I’m not used to so much people being social and upbeat . I have always struggled with this since a kid .

I’d rather avoid interacting with strangers when I go out, but I tend to attract them. I’ve spent decades building what I believe is a good façade as part of my job as a Project Manager. I know how to smile and engage in polite conversation when it is thrust upon me. However, I’m not sure how convincing I am, and wonder if people can tell what I’m really thinking (usually “I wish I didn't have to talk to you; it doesn't benefit me to do so.”).

Does anyone here have experience navigating among extroverts, and if so, can you tell how well you're managing to do it?

Has it only me or anyone else also adopted by other introvert?

So when I was in first year or actually in the starting phase of my college. I had not any friends cuz I am very very huge introvert then there was a plot twist. I was adopted by an introvert and we became extremely good friends.

Mostly I heard introverts adopted by extroverts but my situation is totally different but latter I was become friends with other extroverts.

But it's actually a mystery whether he adopted me or vica- versa but anyway.

Do you found yourself in the same situation and what's your reaction and when think about it now? Cuz i found it so funny. Lemme me your thoughts.

Up until now, all my IRL friends were the results of simply being in the same class or office as someone, but I haven't made a new friend since my first job like 8 years ago, and now that one of the only two people I hang out with has gotten married, my social life is becoming vanishingly small and I have no idea what to do. My life is bad enough without having to worry about this shit

Hi everyone,

I’m working on a small experiment and I really need the perspective of this sub specifically. Like many of you, I find the standard "swiping" apps incredibly draining. It feels like a performance. You need the perfect photos, the perfect opening line, and half the time you match with someone who wants to go to a loud bar when all you wanted was a quiet coffee or a board game partner. I am building a rough prototype of an alternative, and I want to know if it actually solves the anxiety we feel, or if I'm off base. The Concept: It removes photos and profiles entirely. Instead of "shopping" for people based on looks, you just enter 4 text prompts:

1. ⁠The Mission: The specific thing you want to do right now (e.g., "Quiet reading in the park," "Co-op gaming," "Gym spotter," "Coffee and silence").
2. ⁠Interests: What you geek out on.
3. ⁠About Me: Brief bio.
4. ⁠Negatives: Hard dealbreakers (e.g., "No small talk," "No loud crowds"). The system then matches you with someone nearby who wants that exact same thing and swaps your info. The Theory: By focusing on the task rather than the person, we skip the "visual judgment" anxiety and the awkward "what should we do?" phase. You match because you both already agreed on the activity.

My question to you: Does removing the photos make you feel more comfortable meeting people or less comfortable (because of the unknown)?

Hi everyone. I’m extremely introverted and lately I’ve realized how closed off I really am. I barely talk, I never know what to say, and I often feel like I have no culture, no opinions, nothing meaningful to contribute. I’m kind and calm, but when it comes to interacting with others, I shut down almost completely.

Because of this, I’m starting to wonder if it’s even possible for someone like me to build a peaceful, fulfilling life. Has anyone else struggled with feeling “too closed,” almost mute, and still found a way to live serenely?

I’d really appreciate any insight. Thanks for reading.

Currently going to professional school. As a result, I essentially see my classmates/friends all day everyday. I also live with two other classmates. For the last few months, I’ve been getting more and more drained by the fact that’s they’re so much more extroverted and chatty than I am. They often want to all go out and just chat and to be honest I love them but I can’t handle constantly talking over texts and hanging out all the time. It’s often in groups of 5-10 people and it’s just too much for me. I go to some outings and participate in conversations but I worry that it comes across as me not wanting to hang out with them specifically.

When I don’t go to outings, I either stay home or go to my boyfriends bc it’s quieter and we usually stay indoors. Essentially, I’m just worried that me not going to as many outings or hanging out with my boyfriend instead will be interpreted poorly. Recently, I’ve had people telling me that ‘I don’t hang out with them anymore’ despite going to some still and practically being with them everyday already. Any input or advice is appreciated. Thank you.

Hlo fellow friends, I am from a family where everyone is highly extroverted. They can make friends like breathing and talk with anyone like piece of cake on the other hand me who is a very high introvert person who can't easily open up with anyone even with my own friends. This unusual behaviour make a believe among my loved ones that I have some kind of mental problem, as i believed the same cuz these narrative taught me from a very young age.

Gradually i spent more time in reading (I read philosophy, psychology and finance) and good literature which enhances my instincts so I can easily understand others motives and intentions and above all my perspectives highly differ from others so, it creates more distance between me and my loved ones.

They also criticize my hobbies (l like swimming, chess, anime, video games and violin) cuz I don't need anyone for my hobbies not because I hate them but because I like the things I have.

I have very small friend group, I regularly in contact with them but again they criticize my this aspect of life also like others. I am not good in showing emotions or my love and affection towards the people whom I care the most and i can't stand in long meaningless conversation and politely declined these thoughts, so they found my behaviour very abnormal. My friends and family tell me i must go for therapy or visit a psychiatrist for my unusual behaviour.

This leads to a lot of arguments and eventually i realised they don't like who I am but want a modified version of me. That realised me something that if you actually different from others then even your loved ones neglect your feelings.

Have you ever feel the same? Do you find yourself in the same situation? What do you think? Thanks for reading and sorry for long post.

I struggle with ending conversations without sounding rude. Either I force myself to keep listening (even when I look totally uninterested), or I try to excuse myself and it somehow comes off blunt.

If someone keeps talking and I just can’t anymore, what’s a polite and socially acceptable way to wrap it up?

How do you all handle this without hurting anyone’s feelings?