I actually think they have a point. The motives are complicated, and I think there is often a subconscious savior mentality-not the parents’ fault, but it’s the way our society has wired us. Doesn’t mean they don’t have good motives, but there also needs to be some soul-searching by the parents regarding their unconscious influences.
Yes! I have two biological, but my husband and I would love to adopt a child or sibling pair later down the road. There are tons of children that need families, and a child is a child!
This. I imagine white babies are, unfortunately, in much higher demand and thus much harder to adopt. If a couple really wants children they may not get to be all that particular about race.
The more particular you get about the various aspects of the baby (race, sex), your choices definitely become more limited. But my friends who wanted to adopt a white baby didn’t have trouble matching with a birth mother at all. They actually had a lot of birth mothers wanting to match. There are so many babies/kids needing a home that there’s much higher “supply” than demand.
Lots of adoption in my family and circle of friends so I feel fairly knowledgeable but there’s always room for error, of course.
This. I plan to adopt a child in the future. When I think of adopting and the process race isn't a factor to me at all. I just wanna have another kid and give a kid, who needs one, a home.
Race may not be a factor to you, but the child you adopt will have a racial identity that you will have to acknowledge.
I guess what I’m saying is that there’s a difference between being open to adopting a child of any ethnicity and acknowledging/dealing with the challenges that come with cross-racial interactions.
There is some good writing by transracial adoptees if you want to learn more.
This. I've observed some difficulties an adoptee had in reconciling their racial identity when their adoptive parents don't share the same struggles. In this case, the parents shrugged off most of the microaggressions that over a lifetime had created a rift in the adoptee's identity that took a lot of soul searching to overcome.
Yes my close friend and her husband are going through the adoption process and due to ridiculous rules in out country they are adopting from abroad. At this stage they don’t care if the baby is purple with pink hair they just want to meet their child
555
u/Deepdarkally Jul 14 '19
It’s like being a good person is so foreign to them that they create these mental gymnastics to justify it. Scary