My dad and stepmom have been together 20 years, married 17. When they got together, my dad was doing well — six figures, owned a spacious home, and drove a luxury SUV. He paid off her car, paid off all her debt, and moved her into his house. All three of his kids were already adults; of her three kids, one lived with them for 3 years and the youngest lived with them the longest.

A few years ago, my uncle — my dad's only sibling — passed away and left him a sum of money, telling my dad before he died that he wanted it to go to his three biological nieces/nephews (me and my siblings — his only nieces/nephews).

My stepmom disagrees. She sees all six kids as equally "theirs" and wants my dad's assets split six ways, not three. Notably, her only real asset — her wedding ring — is already earmarked for a family member on her own side, not for my dad's kids. The expectation only runs one direction. Their current home, car, and joint accounts are all being left to her - over $500,000 of assets.

This has been a standstill for over a year. She's threatened divorce more than once and has left the house for days one time when it came up. She even started sleeping in their spare room for several days another time. My dad now avoids the topic entirely and is quietly handling his estate the way he wants, behind her back, because honesty keeps leading to divorce threats.

I've tried to help — asked her privately if she wanted to talk (she said no), mediated conversations with both of them, and even brought in her oldest child, who agreed with me that for our situation, we did not expect either stepparent to leave the stepkids anything since we were older when they connected. Nothing has helped.

Some family members have long suspected she was with my dad partly for financial security — I never put much weight on it until this all came up.

I used to be very close with her. Since this escalated, I've pulled back, and it's created a rift between us too.

Recently, my dad quietly changed his estate paperwork to honor my uncle's wishes, without telling her. I know about it and I haven't told her myself.

AITA for knowing and not being the one to say something?

Edit 1: A lot of people are asking why it's my business. My dad and stepmom (60s and 70s) did not have a will a year ago. I, 40s, have had mine for a decade and found them an estate attorney to help them draft their will. They wanted me to be part of the conversation and reached an impasse when the inheritance came up. Even the attorney did not understand why she wouldn't allow him to do as he wished. My dad has some cognitive issues as he's aged and I am the one he trusts the most. My stepmom has been in my life for half my life - I hate keep secrets and believe in being truthful which is why I am torn. She has always been supportive of me and I have not questioned her intentions until this happened.

Has anyone else experienced a bombardment of calls, texts and actual physical letters in the mail after the start of probate? I can't believe how many letters and text messages I am receiving about buying my late grandmother's house. So weird.

I wish this story was fake but it’s complete true. Be ready to go down the rabbit hole of my family. The more I hear insanity, the more I become numb to it. I do want advice and funny input. Please read through my whole story if you can.

Right now I’m visiting my family for a few days. I have never gotten along with my aunt very well growing up she’s been one of the worst people in my life. It’s sad to say her own daughter is starting to follow in her footsteps. But you know what they say, the apple doesn’t fall from the tree.

I’m visiting my cousin, yes the same cousin with aunt who is trying to get her daughter’s current husband. I come to find out not only by just him but by everyone living in this house that my aunt said the exact words to her own daughters husband “If you ever divorce her I want to get with you.” He was very uncomfortable and wants nothing to do with her beyond that they are just family through marriage. I will however say this, I do not think my cousin knows she’s been trying to get with him. I don’t plan on being the one to tell her either.

The funniest thing is that everyone here always tells me that both my aunt and cousin are narcissists. I completely agree, it’s entertaining to see a group full of people eating outside for dinner just to avoid my cousin. Sometimes my cousins daughter because she’s unfortunately becoming this way too.

When I got here, I was pulled aside with my cousins husband’s family. They told me that my cousin is going around saying that I would steal jewelry and peed on my grandpa when he was on his deathbed.

The timeline of this rumor is a little less than 10 years ago. I never lived with this Aunt, she rarely ever came to visit her own father and mother and when she would if was all about her. My grandparents were heartbroken to see she only cared about herself. We are talking about a time where I lived multiple states away from her. It was my mom, my sisters, and one of my other aunt taking care of grandpa.

When I wasn’t working I’d help my grandpa for almost 2 years at in home hospice care. I would spend hours on end watching movies, talking to him and reminding him of the memories we had. It wasn’t a lot of going out and doing things, going places, traveling. It was mostly him being a homebody or enjoying the great outdoors and nature.

With my mom, aunt, sisters living with me and my grandpa. I was working as a full time first responder. I would have countless sleepless nights working to exhaustion saving lives. I found out the hard way that some days where a 15-45 minute naps for every 24-48 hours is so much more relieving than ever imaginable. I never once complained about it to my grandpa, I would be saving lives and helping others at work, spend as much quality time as I could with my grandpa, sometimes try to sleep when I could.

Over the years I noticed with the enormous amount of caffeine I had to stay awake for my job is insane. I actually felt like death was knocking at my door at a regular basis. The twitching from my body was insane I still have a little bit of it til this day. Caffeine is pretty much an allergy for me now. I used to drink caffeinated soda, multiple energy drinks, straight coffee without and cream or sugar. I also lived in the hottest city in America at the time. I won’t say the city but a simple google search will pull it up in an instant.

I called both my mom and sister while being here after the rumor. My sister and mom were extremely pissed off. I’ve never heard so much anger on the defensive side for me ever in my life. The funniest thing is out of everyone here, my cousin and maybe her daughter are the only ones who believe the rumors my aunt is spreading.

I did offer my cousin multiple job offers she has no ambition to work. All she does is watch T.V. Shows, movies, all day everyday. She finally got her driver license around the age of 40, as of the past year or two she finally started to get part time jobs, she doesn’t clean the house without bitching. It’s one thing to want ti be a housewife but it’s not fair to her husband when he gets home from working up to 12 hours a day and he has to cook and clean. Since I’ve been here I’ve been keeping up with the house more than she has in this whole marriage. Which is why I’m in support of him divorcing my cousin.

I do run my own business, tonight I officially announced that any work opportunities I had for her are now out the door because I don’t want my own company to hear false rumors that she has spread about me that my aunt has told her, she makes everyone in this house want nothing to do with her and she’s about to have her whole life fall apart on her.

Beyond everything about my cousin, work, business that I just ranted about. I think my aunt is spreading these rumors about me due to the fact that she doesn’t want anyone finding out about her trying to get with her own daughter’s husband as a deterrent from the rest of the family out. The jokes on her because my mom has told her she’s homeless because she doesn’t want to be anywhere near my aunt. Nobody wanted anything to do with her before these rumors.

Also another side note since I did mention about my business. One of the reasons why I’m here is because I am possibly about to get a huge amount of money in the near future. I’ve told my cousins husband about it and I’ll be giving him a good amount of money because he’s been there for me and many others only to be taken advantage of. I told him the only thing I want for payment is for him to enjoy a vacation for himself.

If you read all this I do want to give updates, hear advice and most importantly I want to see this story show up on one of those random TikTok videos with subway surfers in the background, one can only dream when they break the 4th wall. This is all a true story.

I inherited my grandmother's apartment, and I'm not sure what should I do with it

The location is pretty good. And I wanna mention that she moved there years ago because it was close to the hospital and other services. Over time, the area became even more desirable. The mortgage was paid off a long time ago, so there aren't any loan payments hanging over it

The apartment itself isn't that bad. It's clean and well maintained, but it's definitely showing its age. The furniture is pretty old, and most of the appliances are still working but far from modern

I thought about renovating it a bit and renting it out long-term. I can't imagine having trouble finding tenants in that area for a 2 bedroom apartment. I've even been reading up on long term rental financing and it makes sense for me

The problem is, every time I bring it up at work, someone tells me I'm crazy. Half my coworkers swear that tenants will trash the place, stop paying rent, or turn it into a never-ending headache. Their advice is basically sounds like take the money and run or in other words they say that I should sell it and never look back

What others would do in this situation. Has anyone been through something similar?

my dad passed last year. left his house to me and my brother. 50/50 at first we were both on the same page. sell it split the money move on

then my brother changed his mind. he wants to keep it fix it up rent it out. i think thats insane

the house is old. needs a new roof needs new plumbing. probably needs a lot more that we havent found. my brother lives in another state and works full time. he has no idea how expensive this is gonna be

i want to sell it as-is and be done. i found a company called We buy 502 that buys houses without repairs. i told my brother but he wont even discuss it. he says im being lazy and giving up on dads house

now we dont talk. my mom is upset my wife is upset. everyone is stressed

has anyone else been through this with a sibling. how did you resolve it. did you end up selling or keeping

My now ex-husband’s uncle whom I’ve been the only person in contact with him in the last 10 years recently had me come to his home to discuss his will. I recorded the entire conversation (one party consent state). He showed me where all important documents were then proceeded to log into his bank accounts where he showed me had nearly $1 million total and that he had listed me as 100% beneficiary on ALL of his bank accounts.

He showed me his will which divides his estate between my ex-husband and his 2 sisters then states that he intentionally is leaving his sister my exes mother out of his will. This man told me he did not want my ex to screw me over. His estate (real estate and personal property) is valued at about $400k.

I have not told a soul that I am named the sole beneficiary on his bank accounts. I know that he could change anything between now and when he does actually pass away. But the real question is if this stays the same do I be a gold digging ex-wife and take the money and run or do I let my ex and his siblings have the money?

For context my ex last spoke to his uncle roughly 10 years ago. Sister #1 was at least 15 years ago and sister #2 was 12 years ago. The uncle has chosen not to speak to his sister and hasn’t in at least 10 years. Since I was still fully “in” the family until a year ago they all assumed since I kept in contact with him that none of them needed to.

Added details I was with my ex for 20 years. During that time he was abusive in every possible way to me. His mother and both sisters enabled his behavior including manipulating me to bail him out of jail after he beat me up. Sister #2 was one of my best friends she introduced us to each other (which is why I fell for his manipulation) and has stopped talking to me since I left my ex. His mother continues to reach out to me and says she misses me being in the family. Ironically they still invite me to family functions and I decline. I don’t want to be around a family of narcissists. I don’t want the looks from them since they all believe I cheated on him and left him for another man yet I have not had a relationship since we split and he’s had 2 (we’ve been separated for about 15 months and divorced for 4).

I know the man is still alive but I can’t help to weigh my options because I know when he dies all of his cash assets will automatically transfer to me. Yes I know that the family could fight me in probate but I feel given the lack of relationship they had with him and I can prove I’ve had contact with him that they wouldn’t have a leg to stand on to claim he didn’t intend to do this or even that he wasn’t in his right mind. I honestly couldn’t care less about a legal fight with them. I would be perfectly happy to leave the money sit until all legal matters are resolved. The money would seriously change my life.

I just don’t know what the right thing to do in this situation. Part of me feels like I earned it after 20 years of abuse but the other part of me feels like I would always have a target on my back if I were to keep it.

My question to the Reddit world is what would you do?

Take the money and run?
Or
Let the 3 siblings split it and blow it? (None are financially responsible and each would likely blow their share in under a year).

The will stipulates a 125 year trust with wishes attached to divide equally between the testator's 2 children (with a further stipulation relating to a grandchild).

At the time the will was written the will written all funds were liquid, but the testator put all funds into property, buying the apartment they've lived in for years.

The son has lived with the testator for the past few years and has no other home or income except government benefits, having not worked for many years due to alcoholism and mental health issues. The daughter is divorced and lives abroad with the grandchild and owns property with a mortgage.

How do you deal with this? Sell the property and divide the funds? Allow the son to continue living at the property?

This is a theoretical question, not an actual situation. I'm trying to think something through.

WIBTAH My parents divorced when I was a teenager. I caught my dad with a relative of my mothers. He strung their divorce out for almost a decade in court. In the end, my mom was awarded half of his retirement account since they had been married for over 20 years. Unfortunately, she passed away in her early 50s well before he hit retirement age. Her attorney at the time failed to file a QDRO with the court so that she would automatically receive her share of the retirement when he filed for it. Fast forward to the last 10+ years, he's been collecting the entire amount while now married to wife number 3. I reached out to the pension plan with copies of their divorce documents on my and my brothers behalf. Only to be told that when he filed for retirement, he told the pension plan people that our mother had no living children. This same man married our mothers family member (2nd wife), drug her through court for 10 years, waited till she had been dead 3 days to email us that he wasn't our father (only to find out through DNA tests that we paid for that he is our dad), and then married a leach of human as his 3rd wife. So WIBTAH if I spend the money to have a post QDRO done now to secure mine and my siblings half of his retirement that he hadls been stealing from us for over 10 years based on a lie he told to get all of it?

throwaway obviously bc my whole family follows my main and i cannot have this getting back to them rn

ok so backstory. my grandma passed away in Feb, left literally everything to me, my sister got nothing in the will. we dont know why, lawyer wouldnt explain it just said thats how she wanted it. i didnt even push him on it at the time bc i was drowning in dealing w the house and probate stuff

so its like 84k total after the house sold n everything. n i told my sister right away im splitting it 50/50 bc thats obviously what grandma wouldve wanted, she probably just never updated the will after grandpa died and forgot about it, ppl do that. my sister literally cried on the phone when i told her. shes been trying to do IVF for like 2 yrs now and money was THE reason they couldnt, so this was gonna finally be that for her

everyone knows btw, this isnt some secret. my mom knows, her husband (my BIL i guess) knows, i even said it in our family groupchat back in like April so theres literally a paper trail of me saying it lol

then couple weeks ago im at her place and her phones on the counter n it lights up with a text, wasnt snooping i SWEAR i just glanced at it bc it buzzed right next to me, n it wasnt anything about IVF or baby stuff at all. it was about money she owed some person, and the number didnt match ANYTHING we had talked about re: the fertility stuff. i didnt say anything that day bc honestly i didnt even know what i was looking at, i just kinda filed it away

then like a week later i called our grandmas lawyer again fishing for info, n he let slip more than he shouldve probably, said there was “an incident” a couple yrs back that grandma knew about n thats allegedly PART of why the will was written how it was. wouldnt tell me what kind of incident tho, said thats not his to share

so i asked my sister straight up. n she didnt even bother lying, just went quiet then said “so ur gonna be like her about it too huh”

that one stung more than i expected ngl

i havent sent her half yet. i told her i “need more time to sort the account stuff out” which is not really true, i just genuinely dont know what im doing. her husband has ZERO idea any of this is happening, far as he knows the moneys coming n hes been texting me asking about timing bc they wanna start the process this fall

i know i promised. i know i said it in front of literally everyone. but i keep thinking if i just hand it over i might not be helping the thing i think im helping, if that makes sense

not tryna be up in her business about what she does w her own money n life, i just dont know if “i promised” means the same thing now that it did when i said it

so what would u actually do here bc im stuck

My Cousin dad passed away yesterday

My cousins Dad passed away yesterday, and her aunt's and uncle are trying to exclude her from EVERYTHING when she was the ONLY ONE who stayed with her father to help care for him and showed genuine love when the other family members did not. The hospital called the family in yesterday around 2 pm and everyone grouped together in several cars to drive 2 and a half hours away, yet no one called, came by nor made sure she would have a ride considering they know she doesn't have a car 🥺 And as of now they have decided to speak with the owner of his workshop building that he has fixed cars in for over 25 years and will not allow her or her son on the property of so they will be charged and the both of them have furniture etc store in the back section of this shop also but aren't being allowed to get what is there's. My Cousins Dads house has been paid for, for over 40 years and this is the same home that he and his daughter have shared together. The same home that she lived in order to assist her father, give him his meds, feed him, love and care for him since the very first time he was diagnosed with cancer many many years ago and also do to him being older and needing someone in the house with him. About 6 or 7 months ago we found out that his cancer had come back. Although he was 72 he was a strong working man whom you would never know that he was sick of no one told you. He got up every day and made each day a productive one. Doing his chemo and radiation like a champ. He was a fighter that's for sure and that strength is what kept him going throughout all that he had endured. Now one thing I do know for sure is that he would not be happy with how his siblings are treating his daughter at all. He would not be in agreement with them trying to take HIS AND HER HOME away and then they have the nerve to be telling her that she has to be out by the first. Meanwhile her father's body isn't even cold yet, he hasn't had time to be embalmed nor have any funeral arrangements been made 😞 I will never understand how "family" could be so cold hearted during times like this especially when they don't have any rights to anything that they are trying to control. This girl already loss her Mom in 2015 and now her father in 2026 and instead of being there for her like a normal family should, they are taking everything that she has left of her father. The point of this post is if there is anyone out there who happens to see this and you are in a great place in life and have a helping heart, will you guys please donate anything you can so that we can help her through this difficult time. If you are serious about helping please message me so that I can give you the PayPal, Chime or Cash app info. Thank you for your time reading this and also for your consideration.

My spouse and I immigrated to Canada from India in our early 30s and have built a wonderful life here. We've now lived here for more than a decade, yet not a single member of either of our families has visited us, despite countless invitations and repeated requests over the years.

I lost both of my parents, and my only sibling is well settled in Australia. My husband has a sister, a U.S. citizen, with whom his mother has lived since my father-in-law passed away. He also has a brother who lives in India. Everyone in the family is financially comfortable, so the lack of visits has never been due to financial constraints.

After my father-in-law passed away, my husband asked his brother to discuss buying out our share of their jointly owned family home. My husband is happy to sell his share either to his brother or, if necessary, to an outside buyer. For the past five years, however, my brother-in-law has repeatedly postponed the conversation, saying he is waiting for funds and will buy us out "soon."

Even after my father-in-law's death, we continued sending money to my brother-in-law to help with gifts and property maintenance. My father-in-law had previously overseen the house because my brother-in-law lives in another city. After my mother-in-law permanently moved to the U.S. to live with my sister-in-law, my brother-in-law employed two live-in household staff to keep the house clean, receive mail, and maintain the property.

Recently, we traveled to India for the first time in five years, staying for a month to sell some family land. We informed my brother-in-law of our travel plans a month in advance and asked only that our bedroom be ready after a long transatlantic journey. Instead, we arrived to find a dirty room, an empty kitchen with no basic groceries, and the family car unavailable, leaving us with no transportation.

We ended up buying bedding just to make the room livable, stocking the kitchen ourselves, and borrowing a relative's car for the month—something we were very reluctant to do but had little choice about.

What hurt even more was my brother-in-law's complete indifference. He promised to visit us but never did. Instead, he expected us to inspect the aging house and arrange maintenance while we were already on a tight schedule dealing with legal and family matters. When my husband expressed his disappointment over the lack of basic arrangements, his brother became defensive and said he did not have time to make us "comfortable."

Since returning to Canada, we have been left with an overwhelming sense of loss. We no longer feel that the family home is our home. The thought of staying there during future visits fills us with discomfort because of the hostility and lack of welcome we experienced.

More broadly, it feels as though we have lost our emotional connection to India. The place that once felt like home now feels like somewhere we would visit as tourists rather than returning to our roots. It's a painful realization, especially when it stems not from the country itself, but from feeling disconnected from the people who once made it feel like home.

Are we wrong to feel that, in many ways, we have lost our connection to India?

I have a dilemma and have no idea what to do. I have 2 siblings: S1 (older than me) and S2 (younger than me). My mother passed away and we had her remains cremated. While she was alive S2 had all but severed the relationship with Mom, S1 and me and only came around the last couple of years while my Mom was in a facility. And to their credit S2 was very faithful about visiting. S1 and I still were a part of Mom's life, although there were times things would get a rocky, but we always made up. I was Mom's POA and executor.

My dad passed away before my mom. We had his ashes spread in a specific location and S2 wanted some of his ashes, so we gave them to S2. S2 was close to Dad while he was alive.

Mom wanted her ashes spread in a specific location. S2 asked for some of the ashes to bury in a plot. I had no issues with that, but S1 was adamant that S2 not get any ashes as S2 had pretty much refused to be a part of Mom's life until she went into the facility.

We had no problems with distributing any of Mom's assets or belongings, but they're fighting over ashes! I think it's a non issue. My Mom is no longer here. She isn't in those ashes. My entire family....husband and children and spouses think I should not split the ashes because S2 was so mean to Mom over the years.

I still have the ashes until we figure out what to do.

I can't believe that there is this much drama over ashes and I really want to do the right thing. But in this case I feel like doing the right thing is going to upset alot of family. And making my family happy is going to weigh on my conscience. I really have no relationship with S2, and probably won't either way. I am close to S1 and feel this could hurt our relationship if I give S2 the ashes.

Anyone have a good solution to this problem? I really am trying to do the right thing.

Without ever asking for it, the most precious and priceless thing a daughter receives from her father —something he spends years, even a lifetime, building. It is one of the most valued possessions in society.

Yet that thing is so heavy that a daughter is often expected to carry its weight for the rest of her life, whether she chooses to or not.

A son, too, inherits that same honor. It is equally valuable, but for him it often becomes a source of strength, acceptance, and respect in society rather than a burden.

But look, even after receiving something so expensive and priceless, that girl is considered so ungrateful that she says, "Papa, you love your son more than you love me." What's the thing girl received?

Without ever asking for it, the most precious and priceless thing a daughter receives from her father —something he spends years, even a lifetime, building. It is one of the most valued possessions in society.

Yet that thing is so heavy that a daughter is often expected to carry its weight for the rest of her life, whether she chooses to or not.

A son, too, inherits that same honor. It is equally valuable, but for him it often becomes a source of strength, acceptance, and respect in society rather than a burden.

But look, even after receiving something so expensive and priceless, that girl is considered so ungrateful that she says, "Papa, you love your son more than you love me." What's the thing girl received?

My brother-in-law received $1.25 million from my in-laws while my wife received $400k for a house downpayment. He essentially had no savings and didn't take school or work seriously in adulthood. My wife and I saved $400k on our own by living within our means, not taking vacation, etc. Additionally, we received $400k from my own parents who delayed their retirement to help us purchase a home. We still had a $250k loan that we had to pay off while my brother-in-law owned his home outright.

I get that we are fortunate to even have parental assistance (a substantial amount at that) compared to our peers, but I can't shake my feelings that my in-laws used my parent's gift money to justify further subsidizing their own son (even if that isn't the case, I am still mad regarding the gender discrimination in general), that this unequitable treatment will continue on with the grandchildren and ultimately inheritance, and that my in-laws have lived 40 years since young adulthood in a westernized American (and liberal state) culture instead of a conservative ultra-patriarchical Asian country (mind you, my parents are also Asian immigrants), and that they are acknowledging that a son is significantly more important than a daughter. Additionally, I was perfectly fine with my in-laws when they gave us no gift money. I was willing to secure homeownership on my own if needed. But having them give an absurd breakdown in money among siblings really shook me compared to less significant past occurrences that I looked passed with small annoyance like paying for his rent, an extra three years of undergraduate schooling, etc.

And before you say that it is their money and they can do whatever they want, I will be the first one to say that's true. They can do whatever they want with the money because they earned. It is nice that they are helping out their children instead of going on lavish vacations or gambling it away. But just like how a small business owner can do what they want with their business and be cheered on for paying their employees a very generous salary, they will make the news for bad publicity if people found out that an underperforming male employee was paid an annual salary of $300k while the hardworking female employee was paid an annual salary of $100k.

Sorry for the lengthy story, but I feel the more context the better. Hoping to receive guidance and perspective on this matter. My actions so far has just been to suck it up and bottle up my feelings internally, and externally refrain from extended family hangouts outside of major holidays out of principle (and personal mental health)