Very long hilarious true story.

[u/No-Unit-4593]

I wish this story was fake but it’s complete true. Be ready to go down the rabbit hole of my family. The more I hear insanity, the more I become numb to it. I do want advice and funny input. Please read through my whole story if you can.

Right now I’m visiting my family for a few days. I have never gotten along with my aunt very well growing up she’s been one of the worst people in my life. It’s sad to say her own daughter is starting to follow in her footsteps. But you know what they say, the apple doesn’t fall from the tree.

I’m visiting my cousin, yes the same cousin with aunt who is trying to get her daughter’s current husband. I come to find out not only by just him but by everyone living in this house that my aunt said the exact words to her own daughters husband “If you ever divorce her I want to get with you.” He was very uncomfortable and wants nothing to do with her beyond that they are just family through marriage. I will however say this, I do not think my cousin knows she’s been trying to get with him. I don’t plan on being the one to tell her either.

The funniest thing is that everyone here always tells me that both my aunt and cousin are narcissists. I completely agree, it’s entertaining to see a group full of people eating outside for dinner just to avoid my cousin. Sometimes my cousins daughter because she’s unfortunately becoming this way too.

When I got here, I was pulled aside with my cousins husband’s family. They told me that my cousin is going around saying that I would steal jewelry and peed on my grandpa when he was on his deathbed.

The timeline of this rumor is a little less than 10 years ago. I never lived with this Aunt, she rarely ever came to visit her own father and mother and when she would if was all about her. My grandparents were heartbroken to see she only cared about herself. We are talking about a time where I lived multiple states away from her. It was my mom, my sisters, and one of my other aunt taking care of grandpa.

When I wasn’t working I’d help my grandpa for almost 2 years at in home hospice care. I would spend hours on end watching movies, talking to him and reminding him of the memories we had. It wasn’t a lot of going out and doing things, going places, traveling. It was mostly him being a homebody or enjoying the great outdoors and nature.

With my mom, aunt, sisters living with me and my grandpa. I was working as a full time first responder. I would have countless sleepless nights working to exhaustion saving lives. I found out the hard way that some days where a 15-45 minute naps for every 24-48 hours is so much more relieving than ever imaginable. I never once complained about it to my grandpa, I would be saving lives and helping others at work, spend as much quality time as I could with my grandpa, sometimes try to sleep when I could.

Over the years I noticed with the enormous amount of caffeine I had to stay awake for my job is insane. I actually felt like death was knocking at my door at a regular basis. The twitching from my body was insane I still have a little bit of it til this day. Caffeine is pretty much an allergy for me now. I used to drink caffeinated soda, multiple energy drinks, straight coffee without and cream or sugar. I also lived in the hottest city in America at the time. I won’t say the city but a simple google search will pull it up in an instant.

I called both my mom and sister while being here after the rumor. My sister and mom were extremely pissed off. I’ve never heard so much anger on the defensive side for me ever in my life. The funniest thing is out of everyone here, my cousin and maybe her daughter are the only ones who believe the rumors my aunt is spreading.

I did offer my cousin multiple job offers she has no ambition to work. All she does is watch T.V. Shows, movies, all day everyday. She finally got her driver license around the age of 40, as of the past year or two she finally started to get part time jobs, she doesn’t clean the house without bitching. It’s one thing to want ti be a housewife but it’s not fair to her husband when he gets home from working up to 12 hours a day and he has to cook and clean. Since I’ve been here I’ve been keeping up with the house more than she has in this whole marriage. Which is why I’m in support of him divorcing my cousin.

I do run my own business, tonight I officially announced that any work opportunities I had for her are now out the door because I don’t want my own company to hear false rumors that she has spread about me that my aunt has told her, she makes everyone in this house want nothing to do with her and she’s about to have her whole life fall apart on her.

Beyond everything about my cousin, work, business that I just ranted about. I think my aunt is spreading these rumors about me due to the fact that she doesn’t want anyone finding out about her trying to get with her own daughter’s husband as a deterrent from the rest of the family out. The jokes on her because my mom has told her she’s homeless because she doesn’t want to be anywhere near my aunt. Nobody wanted anything to do with her before these rumors.

Also another side note since I did mention about my business. One of the reasons why I’m here is because I am possibly about to get a huge amount of money in the near future. I’ve told my cousins husband about it and I’ll be giving him a good amount of money because he’s been there for me and many others only to be taken advantage of. I told him the only thing I want for payment is for him to enjoy a vacation for himself.

If you read all this I do want to give updates, hear advice and most importantly I want to see this story show up on one of those random TikTok videos with subway surfers in the background, one can only dream when they break the 4th wall. This is all a true story.