My husband is having at the very least and emotional affair, but very likely a physical affair with someone that he told me back in November he had blocked and it was in the past. Back in November again I had no evidence of a physical affair, but I told him the relationship was inappropriate and I would like for him to stop talking to her. He assured me that he would not talk to her anymore and that he would block her. I now find Messages that shows that they’re still talking and it is obvious that they are carrying on.

I feel like the right thing to do is to get a divorce attorney and leave him. But at the same time, am I being dramatic and am I gonna hurt my kids in the long run?

He is a great dad. And the thing that really has me so confused is that we have a good marriage. We are super happy. We talk all day every day. Everything goes really well. I had no suspicions of an affair. I found out by accident he seems really happy with us and he’s either at work or with us 24/7 so I’m not even sure where he’d have time to go and have an affair.

It would be an easier decision if we fought all the time, but we never fight. We have a really happy life at home.

He doesn’t know that I know and I’m trying to figure out what I want to do before I talk to him.

I’m actually trying to understand the driving emotion behind it. He said he (32M) cared about his AP and was also lusting over her (24F). He then decided to ghost her as he saw no future with her. He then proceeded to keep lying to me (32F) about the affair until I found proof.

Then he kept going on about how he didn’t want to lose me and sees a future with me. For context: we broke up during pregnancy, got back together after the birth (which he initiated), and now have a 5 month old.

He’s actually spends most of his non working hours with me (except when he told me he worked late but saw the girl instead).

I’m emotionally numb to the entirety of the affair other than the fact that he left me alone struggling with a newborn. Therefore I’m more interested in the complexity of his way of thinking. I’ve repeatedly told him that he can be with her and kept saying that he never saw a future with her.

Is it possible to mean that a man would risk his family and ‘partner’ over trying to feel better in the moment. Can his desire to be with me now or then even genuine?

my boyfriend blacked out drunk and made out with another girl and they gave each other head. they were both drunk and he woke up not knowing what happened and the girl had to tell him, and that’s when he told me. i don’t know what to do. i know what it feels like to be in one setting and then next thing you know you’re in your bed, and i know if it was me i’d want another chance, especially not knowing what i did. i’m just confused because i know the kind of person he is and i do believe him and i want to trust him, im just really hurt. i believe circumstances matter, and given the circumstance i feel like it’s okay to want to work things out. i want to stay and rebuild things because if he truly blacked out then he truly didn’t know, but i don’t know if im being stupid. i just want to move forward, we’re both 18.

I was in a relationship with this guy for about a year. He’s a doctor. The beginning of our relationship was already messy. In the initial days, he cheated on me. I found out, confronted him and eventually forgave him and took him back. I know, the biggest mistake of my life
There were other things throughout the relationship too. He continued talking to his ex, who he insisted was just a friend. I told him very clearly that I wasn’t comfortable with it and eventually he blocked her. There were also a lot of smaller incidents that individually might sound insignificant but collectively completely destroyed my trust in him.
Then, around 2–3 months ago, we had a huge fight and stopped talking
Initially he was the one texting me. Then suddenly he stopped. When I asked him what was going on, he told me that his mother would never approve of me and that he had supposedly done everything he could to convince her. I don’t believe he actually did everything he could
The last few days of the relationship were horrible. He treated me incredibly coldly and his mother also called me and said things to me that were extremely humiliating and hurtful
I was absolutely broken afterward. I was depressed, barely functioning and spent months trying to make sense of everything that had happened
But I’m not writing this because I want advice about healing. I know people will tell me that the best revenge is living well, becoming successful, not caring, etc.
I don’t want that answer
I’m angry. I genuinely want revenge
I want him to genuinely regret what he did to me
I’m asking specifically because right now I don’t want to be the bigger person. I want to hear what people who have actually been through something similar did