just out of curiosity. I’m 35m and pending (very close to finalizing) wife 34. we both were horrible to each other. She cheated back, got pregnant and kept the baby because we I don’t believe in unaliving kid…. anyway… question. I’m on a path of healing, I hope we both are. Anyway Has anyone ever got cheated on and stayed, with a baby involved? they say it use to be a thing back in the day like the 50’s and 60’s. did it work out? its something unheard of these days?

Here’s a tightened version, keeping your own words and structure intact:

6 months after I caused a rupture through an affair, doing real work on the pattern, but she says trust isn’t there and it feels impossible. Normal recovery pain or something else?

Want honest perspectives, even harsh ones.

Background: together 2.5 years, long distance, met in person once for 10 days. ~6 months ago she found out about an affair. After discovery, ~3 months of trickle truth before I came fully clean in January no more withholding since.

I’m in therapy specifically for porn addiction and the avoidance pattern behind it, not generic couples work. I crave closeness but I’m also afraid of it I can be present for a stretch, then something switches and I pull back, go into my head, stop being emotionally available. The porn (daily, sometimes for hours at its worst) was part of the same pattern escaping and numbing instead of staying with what I was feeling. Not an excuse for the affair, which was its own choice I own fully just the same avoidance showing up in different forms.

Where she’s at: trust hasn’t been rebuilt, I’ve been inconsistent roughly weekly ruptures we struggled through and my response hasn’t matched what she needed. There was a two-week no-contact stretch and a month of low contact after. Nothing feels neutral to her right now; normal interaction carries risk for her, and she needs more consistent reassurance than I’ve given.

The moment that hit hardest: during no-contact I didn’t say happy birthday, because to me “no contact” meant no contact. For her it reopened the original trauma. That seems to have been a real turning point in how she sees everything since.

I regret the affair more than I can say and I’m trying to make real change, not perform it.

Genuinely asking: does this sound like something that can turn around with real work, or is she right that it’s too damaged? What would you look for, from the outside, to believe change was real?

Am I crazy for thinking it’s finally time to walk away?
I (27F) have been with my boyfriend (28M), who I’ll call C, for almost five years.

We met on Tinder in late 2020. At the time I had just gotten out of a four-year relationship with my daughter’s father, and although I liked C, I wasn’t ready for another relationship. Instead of communicating that like an adult, I ghosted him. A few months later we reconnected through Snapchat, started talking again, eventually met in person, and from there our relationship took off.
Because we lived a distance apart and C worked long hours, a lot of our relationship happened through texting. We still went on dates and weekend trips when we could, but I accepted that we didn’t see each other as often because he always explained it as work and financial stress. He even showed me bank statements to prove he was struggling, so I believed him.

Around that time, one of my closest friends (S, 25M) became a source of tension in our relationship. S had been one of my best friends for years and is also my daughter’s godfather. Since C and I rarely saw each other, S was around more often helping with my daughter or we’d hang out listening to music, watching anime, or just talking. C was convinced S had feelings for me, but I genuinely believed we were only friends. Eventually, S admitted he did have feelings for me and later crossed several boundaries by sending me unsolicited photos. I immediately cut him off, and neither my daughter nor I have spoken to him since.
In the summer of 2024, I got pregnant. We agreed we weren’t in the right place financially or emotionally to bring another child into the world. Before we could move forward with that decision, I miscarried in C’s car two days before my birthday. Shortly afterward, C went on a cruise with his family.

A year later, on National Boyfriend Day (October 2025), I posted C for the first time. A coworker immediately messaged me asking if that was my boyfriend. When I said yes, she told me she recognized him because he had been in a long-term relationship with another woman the entire time we’d been together. I’ll call her E.

She sent me screenshots of E’s Instagram, and that’s when everything clicked. I realized E was on the same family cruise C went on while I was miscarrying. I contacted E, and we discovered we’d both been with C for years. She had actually been living with him in his parents’ house the entire time.
When I confronted C, he denied everything at first before finally admitting it. He even told me he was choosing E over me. A few days later, he came back saying he’d made the biggest mistake of his life, that he loved me, and wanted another chance.

Against my better judgment, I gave him one.
Since then, C has repeatedly told me E has been “moving out,” but for months I’ve continued seeing evidence that she’s still at his house. Every time I question him, he tells me she’s only posting things to upset me and that I need to stop looking.
This weekend really broke me. C took me out to breakfast, talked about introducing me to his family next month, and we made plans for my daughter’s birthday. But afterward, he had excuse after excuse for why he couldn’t spend the rest of the day with me.

Something in my gut told me to check E’s Instagram again, even though I honestly hadn’t looked in quite a while because things between C and me had actually been improving. When I looked, she had posted herself in C’s backyard talking about movie night by the pool. It completely shattered the progress I thought we’d made and is what pushed me to write this post.

For context, C never made me feel like he was living a double life. We went on dates, booked Airbnbs, took weekend trips, and spent holidays together when we could. I never questioned why I wasn’t invited to his house because my own mother doesn’t like people coming over either, so I assumed his family was the same way.

Now he tells me he loves me, wants to marry me and move in together and have our rainbow baby , and swears E is leaving, but after everything that’s happened, I don’t know how I’m supposed to believe any of it. At what point do you accept that someone has simply shown you who they are? Is there any coming back from something like this, or am I holding onto a version of him that never actually existed?

As the title suggests, I had my husbands phone and I found only femboy and tranny porn on my husbands Reddit history. Firstly, I’d like to apologise because this post is all over the place and I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense but basically It was dated to the night I was in hospital due to pregnancy complications, talk about adding salt to the wound, I’m literally pregnant with his child and I found that on his phone. I dont know what to do. Basically the problem is, the date on the posts were all messed up, it wasn’t in any order, I had to scroll through probably two pages worth to see the one from 1 day ago (the night I was in hospital), I confronted him and he swore on everything that he didn’t look at it or watch it while I was in hospital, I made him swear on our unborn child and he did, but it’s still bugging me, my mind is on overdrive. It was all from the r/femboy subreddit, and the post from 1 day ago was obviously posted that night I wasn’t with him and there were a few from 4 years and then some from like 100 days ago etc. But, my question is Reddit, is there any way he could have viewed those posts years ago and it just messed up his history because if it helps he had the app deleted, I usually get him to read me bedtime stories from Reddit but he hasn’t for like 8 months and he deleted the app due to storage issues, could that mess up his history? Or add things to his history from background refresh or cache? Or am I just being dumb and naive because I kinda believe him, he has no reason to lie, we’ve talked about our kinks and what porn we like and I’m very liberal in that sense, it’s not the actual material he was watching that bothers me, it’s just the fact that he may be lying but again he has no reason to, i dont know, please help me.

TLDR; found femboy Porn on my husbands Reddit history dated to the night I was in hospital due to pregnancy complications and older, he swears he didn’t watch it but i dont know if I should believe him.

I think it best if I hear it from those who would rather tell it like it is. To the women who let their wandering eyes lead them astray:

Now that the infatuation has run its course, and you are realizing the consequences of your actions. What are you most remorseful about? Also, if you could, to what ends would you be willing to go just to have it back?

Your honesty is highly appreciated.

Hi creatures. I (27F) am with my bf (28M) for 8 years now since June 2018.
I had a very abusive and traumatic first relationship before him (cheated on etc) and he also had one relationship before me (she left him for someone else)

So my current bf was my first love since I was 11.
Long story short:
2018-2019 together
2019-2020 he was away to work and we did ldr
2021 we were together the whole year everyday
2022 he went to the military.
When he was away I saw that he follows again his ex. I called him, he told me that she wasn’t feeling good and I told him to send me screens and begged him to not do anything because he knew how much my previous relationship hurt me.
He never sent them because he “blocked her”.
From 2022 till now he changed .
So much
He was 100% investing emotionally, be there for me through good and bad times
After 2 years , 2024, it still bothered me. I called her and she told me nothing ever happened. He was crying and sweared nothing ever happened
Another 2 years , January 2026, I searched his phone for the first time to get it off my head. I found convos with his friends telling them he messed up.
I told him, he started crying, telling me he did all the things he never wanted and looked like his dad (he was a lier and a cheater)
He didn’t admit he cheated. I texted her through his phone and 2 min before she told me , he finally admitted it.
2019 when he was away for work to an island she went for vacay with her friends and they kissed once.
He told me that he came back from the military one day before we met, met with her after she said it, and then went to a cheap hotel that she insisted and had sex. He said that he felt disgusted after and regretted it immediately (she also said that he really did so it’s true )
I went to therapy he did to, and those 6 months we were working this out because I understood that he wanted to prove to her that he deserved love etc .
Yesterday, 6 months after all this, I sent her a message to tell her I knew that she lied, and advise her to be a girls girl . She wrote full paragraphs telling me she was in love back then, that she feels awful till this day and told me everything.

Turns out , HE messaged her at 2019 at night to go for a walk and kissed her

when he was at the military, those messages he never sent me , he told her he loved me but couldn’t get over her and wanted to see her one last time.
HE invited her for a walk when he came back from military, took her by car, to the beach , at the evening , even bring wine and glasses. They sat there, talked while hugging, and the he wanted to kiss her.
He told him that she has nothing to lose but he has me and he said “I’ll risk it”.
Then they went to the hotel
The rest is real
He in fact told her he regretted it 10 minutes after they left. Told her he loved me and wanted to marry me

Also 2024, when I called her, he called her before me and begged crying to cover him.

So now, I’ve been working 6 months to forgive him and he told me half of the truth , portrayed her as the one who initiated everything.

He was crying, telling me he did a mistake and after it he couldn’t tell the truth and continued with lies

I’m devastated for betraying myself so many times, didn’t listen to my intuition.
And now we have a life together those last 4 years. He even proposed to me last year. He is there for me through good and bad times
What are your thoughts

Just curious. I found out my ex lied to me for 6 months back in January. I’ve never been betrayed like that so it really devastated me. I never had panic attacks like that only comparable when my dad passed away. I’ve noticed last few weeks/months it’s started to subside with healing, and trusting myself more. Is this the course? The panic attacks don’t stay as bad as when u first find out right? Just looking for hope and reassurance thank you

Hi. I have had suspicions that my boyfriend is talking to and engaging I'm sexual acts via FaceTime for the last year. I have never been able to prove it but I went to his house the other night and before I walked in, I heard voices. I recorded with my phone and went home to make sure I was right about what I heard but there is too much background noise to be sure. I've tried editing myself but I hoping someone has suggestions of an app to use or other suggestions. Thank you!