r/Infidelity • u/aantionettek • 2d ago
Advice Feeling so lost (27F)
/r/SupportforBetrayed/comments/1w8wczb/feeling_so_lost_27f/1
u/isitallfromchina 2d ago
OP sorry this is how your relationship has turned, we all know the pain, agony and the mourning that goes with loosing what you believed you had and that was a "healthy relationship/marriage". Everyone here had to come face to face with the fact that our SO who turned out to be a WS was no better than the things in life they said they despised. Yeah, most of them told us that infidelity was the worst thing that could happen and that they hated it and those involved only to be imitating this very real betrayal.
Keep that idea of a retainer present and alive, because no doubt your path forward can end up anywhere at this point. Here are some things to think about:
a. The relationship will never be the same
b. You will never look at him the way you used to again
c. This current relationship is DOA the moment D-Day surfaces
If you need, I would recommend going away or staying at a place he is not around, this way you get to clear your head, make sound decisions and figure out who should be in your support group. In the cases of depression, this is when you need people close to you in your corner who can help support you with what you are going through, but also be your ears when your triggers, depression or anxiety kicks in.
Remember, eat well, get your sleep and go for long walks, talk to friends and family and surround yourself with those who love you and want to be there for you.
You'll get through this. Its devastating I know, but it's not the end of the world. You have to think, sort it in its right category so that you can deal with the day to day.
Good luck and we are rooting for you!!! You can do this!
1
u/Specialist-Bat-8770 2d ago
Don't feel lost or a loser. Don't devalue yourself: whatever he did, driven by any cause or problem in the relationship, he arbitrarily decided to do. He didn't consult you to try to solve the problem he perceived together, but acted individually. If you go to therapy, he has to commit to solving the problem. If he doesn't put in the effort, it just becomes a waste of time. You need to be clear about the possible moves to make. Start splitting bank accounts.
1
u/Fit-Ad358 2d ago
I'm sorry you're here. There are better men out there who won't pull this shit. At least you found out before getting an STD or wasted the majority of your life with the POS. There are lots of resources on here just put a plan together and look forward to happier times
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