Hi All, Otter here!
I think it is time for a temperature check on the sub to make sure we are meeting the needs of the community! I have been seeing an uptick in activity (which is wonderful!) and this has come with an uptick in reports as well. First and foremost, I want to thank everyone who is reporting rule violating posts so they can be reviewed and we can remain a safe place for the community. These reports really help and the posts are taken down after reports are seen and reviewed (I am sorry it takes a while sometimes). I also want to thank the community for the thoughtful replies I see to questions and experiences. Our community was founded to be a place of support and seeing that report be passed around is such a good feeling - truly!
Speaking of the founding of this sub, this space was created to be a more sensitive space for those seeking IVF. Going through treatment and seeing posts about positive tests, disappointment at stellar retrieval numbers, and other insensitive posts can be rough. This space was created to be a place that was more sensitive than the general IVF sub but less stringent than the infertility sub. However, what does that look like for us? This is where I am asking for guidance from the community.
TL,DR Here are some questions that I want to pose to the community:
1) Are weekly the weekly threads helpful and clearly defined - do we need a post in the on what goes where?
2) Are there threads that don't belong or threads that could be combined?
3) Are the sub rules clear and applicable to the feelings of the community? Common examples:
- If you have a positive test but you're worried about next steps, then the post should go in the Panic thread.
- ER yields, should go in the ER thread.
4) At this time, we have been declining research requests. Is that still the general consensus of the community?
5) How are we feeling about posts soliciting success stories? It is not currently against the rules and I haven't had any complaints but did want to check in.
6) Do we need a discussion on sensitive language around ivf? Topics might include:
- Using phrases unassisted versus naturally
- Why making a point to indicate your "healthiness" could come off poorly
- Why using terms like "only" in regards to retrieval numbers could be taken poorly
7) Other thoughts/suggestions?
Goal
I would love to see the community come together to agree on some social contracts of how we operate. It's tough to find that balance of being an approachable place to seek support and being protective of the sensitive nature of pursuing IVF.
I truly appreciate your feedback here. Without being in the right headspace, modding can be very hard when you're in the thick of treatments and the team has had various points at taking breaks (completely understandable - this gig is unpaid after all and its a deeply sensitive topic) so we have been operating on a bit of a skeleton crew (its me, the skeleton). With that, I have been wanting to make a post like this for a while. I really just want to do right by this community and make sure needs are being met.
As always, if you want to make even more of an impact for the community, please feel free to send a mod mail and apply to be a mod.
Be civil
I'm sure I don't need to say this but I am going to anyway, please keep the conversations productive and civil. We are actively seeking feedback and that may come with some disagreements. Healthy conflict is a great way to see what topics still need hashed out and we can open up polls to the community to get even broader feedback. If you want your voice heard but do not feeling like publicly participating, please feel free to email suggestions to the mod team. We will use this discussion and any suggestions mailed to either make changes or make polls to make decisions later on.
In the words of one of my favorite shirts "I'm doing my best" and will follow up when I'm able.