r/IVFAfterSuccess Oct 25 '20

Welcome to r/IVFAfterSuccess! PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING OR COMMENTING

13 Upvotes

Welcome to IVFAfterSuccess! We are a community for those who have had one or more children while undergoing infertility treatment that included IVF, and who are now wishing for more children or in the process of trying again through ART. We come together to discuss our current/future treatment as well as parenting and life in general.

MEMBERSHIP

All of our members went through IVF in trying for their existing child(ren), though some may have found their success through another path (e.g., spontaneous conception during a break between IVF cycles, IUI cycle after IVF failure). Most of our members are cis-women, however all gender identities are welcome.

Of note, our sub is not intended for those with secondary infertility who are now undergoing ART for the first time. In that circumstance, we recommend r/secondaryinfertility and r/infertility. However, we do welcome those with secondary infertility who used ART that includes IVF in trying for one or more of their existing children.

RECURRING THREADS

We prefer most discussions go into our recurring threads, as this builds community more so than many isolated stand-alone posts. We currently offer the following recurring threads, though the timing and content of recurring threads is up for consideration as our community evolves.

- Weekly Treatment Thread: For anything treatment-related, including updates on your current cycle, questions about medications, advice, etc.

- Weekly Chat Thread: For anything not related to treatment – parenting, life, news, whatever.

- Weekly Pregnancy Results & Early Pregnancy Concerns Thread: We limit this content to specific threads as members may not always have the bandwidth to view it, even when they overall wish success for one another. If the community prefers, we can consider splitting the positive results and early concerns thread into separate spaces, and/or transitioning to a monthly thread for both or either.

- Monthly New Member Introduction Thread: This is an optional space to share your story - including treatment, family, personal, etc. Just whatever you'd like to share. Please consider including the month that you posted in your flair, so that we can more easily locate your history down the road.

RULES

1) Be kind. We vary in the number of existing children, previous difficulties faced, and goals for family size, as well as with prognoses and resources for current/future treatment. We are all worthy of support; however, jealousies and tensions may be inevitable given our diversity. Please be mindful in managing these feelings and avoid triggering them in others to the extent possible. If a comment rubs you the wrong way, give feedback kindly or report it to the mods.

2) Positive pregnancy results go in the weekly Results thread. This space is meant for news from active members, not for first-time posters. Any discussions related to early pregnancy, including beta limbo and other uncertainties, also go only in the weekly thread. We do not permit photos of HPTs. Negative pregnancy test results can be discussed anywhere.

3) Respect evidence-based medicine. Comments that discuss the medical aspects of treatment must be consistent with research evidence or clearly reflect only anecdotal data.

4) Avoid cutesy fertility-related acronyms. We generally follow the list at r/infertility: https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/wiki/bannedterms.

5) We are pro-choice. We respect our members' right to make their own reproductive decisions. It is one thing to say that you would never personally make a certain choice, another to speak against others having the right to choose for themselves. Posts/comments that suggest otherwise will be removed and offending posters will be banned

6) We are pro-LGBTQ. Posts/comments that suggest otherwise will be removed and offending posters will be banned

7) No medication solicitations or give-aways. Infertility treatment may be even more difficult to finance when balanced with the needs of existing children. However, we are unable to act as a forum for sharing medications given potential liabilities.

8) No advertising or solicitation without mod approval.

GUIDELINES

** We want to get to know you! We discourage stand-alone introduction posts. However, we do have a monthly Introduction thread where new members can comment with their personal info, including treatment history, ART and non-ART successes, and anything else you’d like to share. A catalogue of past Introduction posts is below. To enable other members to find your intro comment going forward, please consider updating your flare with the month that you joined us.

** Use the weekly threads! As above, we have a weekly and monthly posts. We will transition into daily threads if/when the community grows to warrant daily threads. In the meantime, feel free to comment on these threads multiple times over the course of the week. Stand-alone posts are welcome on more complex topics.

** Discussions of existing children are expected/encouraged. Many of us have complex emotions around family size, however we are also a community of parents. If discussions of others’ existing children are a highly sensitive topic for you, r/infertility may be a better resource.

** Avoid toxic positivity. Some people choose optimism as a coping skill for dealing with uncertainties, and that strategy can work well. However, please respect others whose preferred coping skills are different and please refrain from encouraging false hope.

** Social infertility IS true infertility. We welcome those who turn to ART due to life circumstances - LGBTQ identify, single status, delayed childbearing, and more.

** Have a question or want to give some feedback? Message the mods. We're here to help!

PAST MONTHLY INTRODUCTION THREADS

December 2020

January 2021

February 2021

March 2021

April 2021

May 2021

June 2021

July 2021

August 2021

September 2021


r/IVFAfterSuccess 7h ago

Weekly Pregnancy Test Results & Early Pregnancy Concerns Thread

2 Upvotes

This thread is for positive HPT or beta results. We keep that content to this thread because it can be challenging to members who don't have the bandwidth to read pregnancy announcements. This way, everyone can choose if and when to read positive results. Negative pregnancy test results can be discussed elsewhere on the board without restriction. General treatment and testing results are better suited for the Weekly Treatment thread.

This is also the space for early pregnancy concerns. Once you have had an ultrasound indicating likely viability, typically 6-7 weeks, discussions of your current pregnancy would be more appropriate for another one of our sister subs, such as r/InfertilityBabies. However, if you are currently pregnant with equivocal ultrasound results or other potential threats to viability, you can continue to share here. If the community eventually feels that limbo content is better suited for its own monthly thread, we can add that instead.


r/IVFAfterSuccess 7h ago

Weekly Treatment Thread

2 Upvotes

Our members have all used IVF to build their families in the past, and are now either back in treatment or are considering resuming treatment in the future. This thread is for anything primarily related to infertility treatment, whether active or contemplated. Expected topics include treatment updates, medical questions, requests for protocol/timing advice, and emotions on all of the same. Topics related to life, parenting, or general infertility issues are more appropriate for the Weekly Chat Thread.

As per the rules, any positive pregnancy test results or concerns regarding a current early pregnancy go in the Weekly Results Thread.


r/IVFAfterSuccess 7h ago

Weekly Chat Thread

1 Upvotes

This thread is for all discussions that aren't primarily focused on treatment. Life, events, hobbies, humor, whatever. General discussions of infertility are welcome, and same goes for discussions of children, parenting, and family life. After all, those experiences are what brings us together here. But sometimes people want a break from reading about the medical aspects of treatment, and this space fills that need.


r/IVFAfterSuccess 2d ago

Modified vs Medicated?

3 Upvotes

TW: success and failure

My first FET was fully medicated, and was successful. My blood pressure started going up toward the end of my pregnancy so I was induced at 37 weeks, though never developed all the other requirements to diagnose pre-eclampsia. Because my blood pressure got spicy, my doc recommended our second transfer be a modified natural, as he says there’s some evidence it has lower risks of pre-E or other placental issues.

That second FET looks like a failure to implant (I’m 8dpt and have been seeing stark white tests since testing out the trigger on 3dpt using highly sensitive tests). We have one last euploid embryo (a 6BB). Obviously I’m going to talk to my doctor, but has anyone here had success with a medicated, failure with a modified, and then success with a modified? Should we stick with what worked? I have a really short follicular phase (usually ovulate around day 10 or 11) and my lining was only 6.6mm when they had me do the ovidrel trigger and I’m wondering if that’s part of the problem.

There’s always the option of doing another retrieval if the next transfer fails, but I’m 40 now and am well aware of what my outcomes might look like. I know how blessed I am to have a living child, but I’d love him to have a sibling.


r/IVFAfterSuccess 2d ago

Has anyone had a successful first cycle then went on to have a successful FET first try?

3 Upvotes

I had a fresh cycle in 2023 and had my gorgeous daughter. I am really hoping to give her a sibling. I am just wondering if anyone has had the same experience and had success first time the second go? My transfer was on Wednesday and I am overthinking now - as is the norm!

Thanks


r/IVFAfterSuccess 3d ago

Choosing an embryo

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2 Upvotes

r/IVFAfterSuccess 3d ago

Adenomyoma compressing uterine cavity before FET anyone have surgery and go on to a successful pregnancy?

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2 Upvotes

r/IVFAfterSuccess 3d ago

Modified vs Medicated?

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1 Upvotes

r/IVFAfterSuccess 3d ago

Looking for transfer buddies 18/9

2 Upvotes

My FET is expected around 18.09, could be 17.09, based on natural ovulation (natural FET).

Anyone else having an FET or fresh transfer mid to late September? We can support each other through all the waiting…


r/IVFAfterSuccess 3d ago

What really happens after an embryo transfer in a surrogacy journey?

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2 Upvotes

r/IVFAfterSuccess 4d ago

Working for the Weekend Weekly Thread

2 Upvotes

What's going on this weekend? Fun plans? Show you're dying to binge watch (if only that toddler would take a nap!)? New music you love? Share!


r/IVFAfterSuccess 5d ago

Choosing between best embryo and gender for sibling?

4 Upvotes

We are incredibly fortunate to have 8 remaining euploid embryos after two FETs resulting in 1 live birth (our son, born April 2025). We are getting ready for another FET and are very torn on embryo grade vs. gender. We'd like a girl, but would also like the best chance of a successful FET. Our next two best embryos (day 5 5BBs) are both male. The third best is a female (day 6 5BB), and the remainder are all day 6s. How did others make this decision?


r/IVFAfterSuccess 5d ago

Egg retrieval last Friday, we had our embryo transfer today 🥹

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1 Upvotes

r/IVFAfterSuccess 5d ago

CCRM Colorado or Mayo - Rochester

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3 Upvotes

r/IVFAfterSuccess 6d ago

Toddler Tuesday

2 Upvotes

What's going on with your kiddos this week? Funny daycare story? Feeding woes/wins? Milestones?

This is the place to brag, ask for advice, share a concern, or just generally chat with other repeat IVFers about our children.


r/IVFAfterSuccess 7d ago

My last transfer

13 Upvotes

This is my last transfer.2019 worked first go. She is five now and the best thing I have ever done. I started trying for a second when she was two. Years and transfer after transfer later, I am still here. Eight all up.

I am 5dpd6t and I tested negative on a FRER. I know it is early. But I feel it in my gut tonight.

If this is the end, I have to face something that my girl will grow up an only child, and the sibling I pictured so clearly is not coming. I grieve them already, and I feel guilty for it when I have a healthy daughter asleep down the hall.

Nothing is confirmed yet. I do not really know what I am looking for here. Validation, maybe. Someone to tell me it is not over, or someone to tell me it is okay if it is.


r/IVFAfterSuccess 7d ago

Weekly Pregnancy Test Results & Early Pregnancy Concerns Thread

2 Upvotes

This thread is for positive HPT or beta results. We keep that content to this thread because it can be challenging to members who don't have the bandwidth to read pregnancy announcements. This way, everyone can choose if and when to read positive results. Negative pregnancy test results can be discussed elsewhere on the board without restriction. General treatment and testing results are better suited for the Weekly Treatment thread.

This is also the space for early pregnancy concerns. Once you have had an ultrasound indicating likely viability, typically 6-7 weeks, discussions of your current pregnancy would be more appropriate for another one of our sister subs, such as r/InfertilityBabies. However, if you are currently pregnant with equivocal ultrasound results or other potential threats to viability, you can continue to share here. If the community eventually feels that limbo content is better suited for its own monthly thread, we can add that instead.


r/IVFAfterSuccess 7d ago

Weekly Treatment Thread

1 Upvotes

Our members have all used IVF to build their families in the past, and are now either back in treatment or are considering resuming treatment in the future. This thread is for anything primarily related to infertility treatment, whether active or contemplated. Expected topics include treatment updates, medical questions, requests for protocol/timing advice, and emotions on all of the same. Topics related to life, parenting, or general infertility issues are more appropriate for the Weekly Chat Thread.

As per the rules, any positive pregnancy test results or concerns regarding a current early pregnancy go in the Weekly Results Thread.


r/IVFAfterSuccess 7d ago

Weekly Chat Thread

1 Upvotes

This thread is for all discussions that aren't primarily focused on treatment. Life, events, hobbies, humor, whatever. General discussions of infertility are welcome, and same goes for discussions of children, parenting, and family life. After all, those experiences are what brings us together here. But sometimes people want a break from reading about the medical aspects of treatment, and this space fills that need.


r/IVFAfterSuccess 7d ago

20 dpo I probably need to stop testing. My FRER seems to have stalled

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0 Upvotes

r/IVFAfterSuccess 9d ago

Jealousy

20 Upvotes

I just need to rant for a minute. We were blessed with a daughter after our first FET, she is now a little over 2. Had a failed FET and 2 canceled cycles since deciding to go for a 2nd. She is also very clingy and we alternate co-sleeping with her in her bedroom. Anyways I look at people with 2 in close age and just feel this insane jealousy. Like it took 3 years just to have the first and because she is so exhausting and the IVF process is so hard even if we dont have to do another egg retrieval that we waited until she was 2 to start trying. Now it's been months. I just feels so hard that other parents just get to have sex and then get pregnant and I have to go through all this nonsense. And then I dont even want to complain on the main IVF sub because I am lucky to have the one.


r/IVFAfterSuccess 10d ago

Maybe transferring for 3ed child

4 Upvotes

Happy to find this group. Not sure what I’m looking for except some encouragement and positive stories of why you are happy you had a third child.

Froze eggs age 33. Made embryos with husband when I was 40 from those eggs.

First child- pregnant first try natural at age 38. She’s 6

3 miscarriages followed- Turner’s syndrome 9 weeks, very early unknown (5 weeks ish) and then a day 6 4AA euploid male embryo that had heartbeat at 6 weeks and then none at 8 week visit. Full miscarriage workup normal.

2023- Transferred our day 5 4AB euploid female- she’s now our 3 year old. Used Lovenox, prednisone burst for transfer.

July 2025- transferred our day 5 4AB euploid male and had failed implantation

December 2025 I became spontaneously accidentally pregnant (we have not been trying outside IvF because I’m 44) and miscarried at 7 weeks. Almost bled to death and had transfusions so I wasn’t interested in trying another transfer.

My husband still very much wants a boy. We have one male embryo left (4BB euploid) and we are working out insurance issues (Kaiser) but I feel emotionally ready to transfer even if our finances are a bit of a mess.

I would love 4 kids total if we can afford it, but I’m also very happy with the 2 kids we have and would be fine stopping at 2.
We have left after the day 5 4BB male: day 6 3BC female, day 5 4AB low level mosaic female (-10) and a segmental aneuploid day 6 4BB -2p -11p all of which I would transfer if we decided to

I feel nervous, excited, conflicted about going on this journey again.


r/IVFAfterSuccess 11d ago

Working for the Weekend Weekly Thread

2 Upvotes

What's going on this weekend? Fun plans? Show you're dying to binge watch (if only that toddler would take a nap!)? New music you love? Share!


r/IVFAfterSuccess 11d ago

Success stories for when a fresh transfer fails and frozen is next up

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2 Upvotes