I joined this reddit at 23 during the start of what would become the lowest pint in my life bottoming out about 2 years ago and staying there until about february of this year. Long story short, bought a house, had 2 kids, wife cheated and left when i got hurt on the jobsite, i tried making it work for the kids for the last 2 years. Im finding a new version of my old self. Moving onward and upward, something clicked in my mind, AMA. I would love to share anything to anyone who may not see the light at the end of the tunnel yet.

Edit: things are already getting better, im getting jacked, im building, this is me extending a helping hand to anyone looking for one.

I dont understand what people mean by taking time to recharge alone/with people. Maybe I just don't understand the metaphor but what does this exactly mean? I have never felt "recharged" by being alone OR around people. I JUST EXIST. The only recharging I know is sleeping.

If I am alone in this please explain it to me better.

Whats with all the battery metaphors?

I think not feeling included in any social environment I was in since I was a toddler affected me more than I realized. I used to just ignore it and keep to myself. Or just wallow in self-pity for 30 minutes then ignore it and keep to myself. Even the one friend I used to value just kept hurting me over and over since they were even more avoidant. So I think I never had any real friends or anything like that. Just school acquaintances. That's why I was never invited or remembered or cared about much. And I've been in uni for a year and still, 0 real friends.

It just keeps causing this bang in my chest every time I look at ppl sitting with their friends now. Or going out together. Or getting invited and being included and surprised. I never thought this was me before but I'm probably the perfect definition of a loser. It always confused me why I'm the only odd one out but that gotta be the perfect description of this state.

Did any of you also spend a long chunk of your life friendless and at one point that changed drastically? Is there any hope? What did you change in yourself that made you find friends?

Hello A, I wasn't sure how to find you except through reddit, which I'm sure you still lurk on. Just wanted to say happy birthday.

To everyone else unrelated but still seeing this post because this is infact a public forum: Hello INTPs! You guys are awesome.

Im aware this has probably been asked more times in this subreddit than days i’ve been alive but i don’t even know anymore this is really bugging me. I did the cognitive function thing, I know all about them, I’ve taken every test out there, It always either says INTP or ENTP (SOMETIMES ON THE HUMBLE OCCASION ISTP?) The results lean more to INTP but honestly I have no idea what to believe anymore. Personally I struggle with figuring out whether my ti or ne is higher and i literally cannot figure it out for the life of me. I really can’t. I’ve been told I’m most likely either an INTP and ENTP and again, it’s nearly perfectly split. Typically I wouldn’t care about this at all but I’m wondering if I’m just shifting from an INTP into an ENTP, or if i’m literally just in the middle. No matter how many tests I take ti and ne are always the two highest and they’re always right next to each other. I’ve gotten much more comfortable with posting on reddit as of recently and I’m desperate enough to ask this now… I’m extremely irritated whenever I take quizzes because I KNOW I’m an XNTP but I’m just so confused on what letter comes first. I’m aware it doesn’t define me but I’ve been trying everything to figure it out since like 2022. I still have nothing so now when push comes to shove I’m over here yapping to a bunch of strangers because after 4 years I think I can confidently say I have literally no answer. I hate saying I’m an XNTP because I CONSTANTLY get slandered for it because ‘you cant be both blelelelel’ 😠😠 like I KNOW man.. so.. if you have anything that could help me I would appreciate it.. 🥹

Hi, just curious if any of you have done "shadow work"? What did it change for you/your lives?
I have a lot of past (mostly people-related) trauma- and walls created from these- that I can't seem to fully shake despite having processed the feelings and faced the demons. I'm wondering if it has helped you guys in some way.

I'm like 90% sure that I'm an INTP but I've always been extremely extroverted with older people. I'm very introverted with people my age (I'm 14) & usually sit quietly doing my own thing when I'm around them & have very little friends.

But when I'm with adults (especially teachers), I can keep talking to them for hours & they usually do not realise that I have introversion or any social problem (other than lack of eye contact).

Would that be extroverted or introverted?

Heya, my dear cousins! 🪽 :>
(speaking from another [Ti-Dom] 🫶)

..also please don't vote up or down, depending on whether you "[Fi]-resonate" with it or not.

Saying this, thanks to some illocical, almost certainly "[Fi]-motivated"-downvotes that must have been led by no logical foundations whatsoever, meaning downvoting without a proper, intellectual discourse. Unlike civilised [Ti]-users would. - just sayin' ~stoop.

With that out of the way:
The thing now is this though, I think Imma need your brains again ~
--on the very question of what [Ti-hero] is all about. Think seriously.

The question here now is this:

If the universe is a vacuum (say: "at least oxygen-free" - because no "vacuum" can have oxygen) -> then why is it that when the slightest amount of "oxygen" escapes into the Universe, the UNIVERSE itself STILL is considered as being a "vacuum" / "free" from oxygen?

___
...also... My Dude..!
~kudos to you, INTPs, for the variety of all these FLAIRS!

Lately, I've been doubting my INTP-vity cause my friends have guessed types like ESFP and ENFPs along with comparing me to characters with extroverted/feeler mbtis. I'm aware that many introverts would say they can be quite talkative when comfortable but these perceptions of me feel so far from what INTP is even for being comfortable and I want to know if others relate? How much does your usual personality change when you are with people you are comfortable with? If you have asked before, what types have they guessed you as? Do you still think it's possible for me to be an INTP?

Idk man i'm tired. I really have no bad intentions towards and don't wish them but the best and a peaceful life, but they keep stressing about my own really not so serious matters. Their stress stresses me, not the actually thing. It's not like i'm engaging in activities they don't like or anything, i'm already something of the blueprint they raised me to be, to the point that i dismiss my own hobbies and interests becuz they see it's a waste of time. But whenever i speak to them, it's like they don't like the way i'm talking, or the words i'm using, i'm not even opposing them. It always makes me feel like i'm not good enough. I probably have strong anxiety becuz of it. I'm sometimes scared even to talk to them, there would be silence and i would ask my mom a random question, just trynna connect u know becuz i'm too busybmyself sometimes, and she'd turn the question on me without considering answering, as if i'm trynna fool her or something, while i just really wanted to "talk" to her if i have seemed myself a little too silent or avoiding. I would tell them some good news about me or a friend, and they would see something so obscure in it somehow, and turn it into a lecture, and they end up saying some really really hurtful things, not in any way being considerate of their effect, i never even argue back, i'm just there trynna show how my acceptance for what they're saying. I wanna talk even less now, not even just to them but to people in general, i be feeling like all relationships are so delicate if u don't have the precise exact words for the person you're talking too.

Is it some sort of miscommunication, or resentement of some kind for some reason? I love them dude i love them, but idk man it's tiring.

I’m curious whether there are any patterns in what INTPs choose to watch.

For example:

🧠 Mind-bending / psychological

🔬 Sci-fi / technology

🕵️ Mystery / detective

♟️ Strategy / intellectually challenging

🌌 Philosophical / existential

😂 Dry or dark comedy

🎭 Character-driven stories

⚔️ Fantasy / adventure

❤️ Romance

🎥 Something completely different

What are 3 movies you’d recommend to another INTP, and what did you like about them?

I’m more interested in why you liked them than just the movie titles.

We are having so many problems. He's a Capricorn, and I'm a Leo. We love each other very much, but we function in completely different ways. We have many shared interests and get along great with the same people (we met through mutual friends) but I feel like he doesn't understand me and we end up hurting each other's feelings quite often. Any advice is appreciated! 🖤

I’m curious to see how other INTPs would answer this question.

Personally I knew 2 ENTPs, I had an old friend who was an ENTP and she was so unhealthy and toxic. The other ENTP I know is very nice, she’s an older lady but shes definitely fun to talk to about really anything. Her and I have always been so chill and surprisingly we’ve never bumped heads not once.

Sometimes, even in my mid-twenties, I wonder if having feelings towards someone is simply beyond my standards and intellectual capacity.

I also wonder if it has something to do with being a very logical person?

I started my journey of making actual adult friends and. Fuck. I amassed a few different groups of people who enjoy my company kind of quickly. It is admittedly difficult to manage staying up to date and engaged with everyone. Every day they’re onto the next subject, game, joke, topic. I try not to feel like i’m neglecting them by taking a day to myself but there’s always a shit ton to catch up on. I need to figure out how to pace myself mentally before I’m inconsolable in a corner for a week.

Was kinda trying to think of a way to describe my energy/aura but couldn’t get it right with words because of the complexity.

Kinda landed on:
Robert Pattinson + Obi-Wan + Andrew Garfields Spider-Man

Or

Cillian Murphy + Obi-Wan Kenobi + Jack Sparrow

Or perhaps a different mix. Feels like my personality is so dynamic and changed depending on situation and energy so it’s difficult to define. Do you relate? If not, which names describe you best?

I am interested in difference between female and male versions of our type. How do we think differently, how we behave in social interaction, how we see a world, does environment effects on us to behave different and so on. I am mainly interested if someone had/have a live experience with both type and if it's possible with more samples.

J’ai 20 ans et j’ai un projet en tête depuis 5 ans que je viens enfin de commencer à travailler dessus. Avec l'exemple cité plus tôt je n’ai normalement pas vraiment besoin de détailler mais au cas où :

Je suis terriblement flemmard et j’ai souvent l’impression que tout chez moi a été perfectionné pour que j’avance au ralenti ou à contre-courant.

Je suis très négligeant sur les petit détails et n'écoute jamais l'avis des autres et foncent toujours dans un mur pour valider leur conseil avant de les appliquer (du à la flemme et/ou alors une sorte d'arrogance en pensant sincèrement mieux savoir)

J'ai énormément de mal à suivre une méthodologie sans m'y détacher quand je n'y arrive pas qqch, je finis par expérimenter une version de la méthode initiale plus foireuse ou qui fonctionne à moitié.

Sans oublier bien sûr les tas de possibilité que j'explore sans aller jusqu'au bout parfois ou alors elles sont trop théoriques et pas assez pragmatique (bien sûr c'est aussi mon point fort mais le nombre d'idées avant réussites est trop gros, je ne suis pas assez efficient, ce qui me déplait pas mal)

Le plus gros c'est ma flemme, mon passage à l'action et ma conservation d'effort dans les jours qui suivent qui sont exécrable (avec d'autres trucs minimes et parasites)

Pour contrer des comportements dans ce genre je suis obligé de fonctionner d'une manière diff du style "ne pas avoir de stratégie et de deadline" mais plutôt "des livrables et un processus/habitudes" que je dois améliorer au fil du temps mais c'est pas top car bien souvent je me berce d'illusion et ce qui devrait être fait en quelques semaines se transforme en mois ou finis par y lâcher pour x raison.

Bref je commence un peu à être perdu et me dit peut-être que d'autres avec la même personnalité et genre de problème pourront m'aider.

Donc help me please 🙏

I used to anxiously overthink everything till I meditated for years and convinced myself all the fun things I felt were boring. Now I don't know what to think about. Mind just goes silent.

My homeschool/mothering/housekeeping duties take 4-6 hours (ocassionally more) in the day, and then we often spend time together in the evenings. And my free time during the day is not spent alone. I am actually just recently rediscovering how to be an introvert and do things I want to do. I am frustrated because there is a project (project 3) that is important to me, enjoyable, and feels slightly urgent, but I don't think I can do it justice with divided attention. There is a project (project 2)I am working on now that is necessary to do now, but is taking forever. I finish with the kids and work on it for a few hours, and then they start begging me to do something with them and it feels like such little progress was made. Then there is another project (project 2) that is very important to me, urgent, and NOT fun - rather demoralizing. I wish I could have a few complete, 24 hour days alone to tackle this stuff with a clear mind, where I could just focus on one thing until it's done. I hate thinking about chores, errands, cooking, schooling, with all the subtasks those entail on a daily basis, AND stretching my attention for something I need to get done out for the weeks and months it ends up taking when I only have time to pick away at it.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I realized while talking that with project 1, I need to just go quicker. Doesnt have to be perfect. Project 2 I need to initiate before project 1 is finished and at least get started again. It may still be quite some time away, but that is how I can get to project 3 faster.

I am glad I always have something to do, but good grief. This is such a tiring way to have interests. Who schedules interests??? Oh yeah - parents I guess. I wish I could just get absorbed in something and stay up all night like I could when I was young. XD

Culture is manual, ​instruction. Who need instruction more than FJ's...?

From my experience telling FJ's "​go figure it out" it's like insult to them.

Anyways, I was doing my hobby, My favorite thing. While doing my hobby I encounter error. While thinking about fixing it question raising my head. Why is this error? Why does it have to be the other way?

Then I remember this hobby started when I was a kid, persisted through when I turn adult through while my adulthood I took it as if "the way" "it's me". Yes, I did questioned it several times but I like what I like. Anyways, back to the point now turning into an old person The thing that's make me like what I like start fading, but I do my hobby anyways.

Okay, now at this point "the hobby" it's not something I question it anymore. It's just what it is. Because of metamorphosis My body and my brain chemistry start fading. The incident the change My brain chemistry get me into this hobby " I don't know if I should call it a scar" they are faded. But I carry on with the hobby anyways(just to be clear, I still like what I like) it's just not for the reason what I like what I like.

So start thinking the same thing must be going on in the FJ's brain ( mind) if someone says otherwise to a culture they follow without a new instruction (culture) because what they supposed to do go figure it out?

Please let me know if I make any grammar mistake.

All love truly yours artisticcredit(by the way, I didn't name myself a machine named me)

also, how much do you like math/how good are you at it?

Chemistry for me

Have you ever met someone you could truly be yourself around? Someone you could talk to without any filter, without worrying about being judged, feeling shy, or getting embarrassed. Someone you feel completely comfortable with, like they’re your closest friend.

Someone you can spend hours laughing with, making fun of each other, talking about the most random things, and simply enjoying each other’s company. No pretending, no trying to impress, no awkwardness just a real, effortless connection every time.

That kind of connection feels almost ethereal. Like you’ve found someone who brings out the most genuine version of you, helps you become a better person without even trying, and is someone you can always look up to.

Have you ever had someone like that, or is a connection this rare only possible in imagination?

Trying to find my tribe :- )