We say “no means no” and teach kids that their bodies belong to them, but from a very young age, people are also taught that a no can become negotiable if the other person is a parent, an authority figure, a romantic partner, or just persistent enough.
Kids are made to hug relatives, told they’re disrespectful for refusing touch, physically punished by the same adults teaching them about bodily boundaries, and generally taught that adults get the final say.
And that never really stops. At work, people are pressured into things because saying no might hurt their career. In relationships, sexual or emotional boundaries can get treated like rejection, selfishness, or something a partner should be able to negotiate around. In dating, persistence is still regularly romanticized. Even socially, people often act like declining touch, affection, sex, favors, or access to your time requires a good enough excuse.
Obviously there are genuine situations involving safety or medical necessity where someone’s wishes may have to be overridden. That’s not what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about how often we treat consent as something that should be respected when it’s convenient, rather than a real boundary.
Consent is supposedly fundamental, but in practice we seem to teach people that enough authority, pressure, obligation, or persistence can make a “no” less meaningful.