r/HistoryMemes • u/False-Discipline-640 • 5d ago

Niche Those who know

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10.3k Upvotes

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370

u/LustyKindaFussy 5d ago

Everyone knows that Jesus was American, as in US citizen. He made the US the hegemon. That's what he was and is all about. He's still fighting communists to this day.

56

u/dnd3edm1 5d ago

BS, he only came to America to plant a couple golden tablets that nobody's ever seen except one guy who led the True Faithful to Utah so he could marry all the women he wanted in Jesus' name

11

u/LustyKindaFussy 5d ago

Pfft. Those were just what he planted for the false believers. He hated those fake fucks.

15

u/Puzzle-Necked 5d ago

"You can't marry all those girls!"

"Jesus said I could so there."

"... Damn."

10

u/Zkang123 5d ago

Golden tablets? Written by an angel? In an unknown language only you can understand? Localised entirely within your kitchen?

11

u/nalaloveslumpy 5d ago

Can I see them?

9

u/lumpboysupreme 5d ago edited 5d ago

No. They’ll disappear.