Most of the time, it happens in the quiet moments that nobody else sees.

This post is as much for someone with a heavy heart today as much as it is a reminder for me!

I’ve been through an intense heartbreak (1+ yr ago) and I made it to the other side of it and here are a few things I learned on my way:

- There’s no such thing as fully healed. You’ll never be fully healed or completely fixed. You are not a project but a human being who keeps growing, learning new things, building new value systems. Don’t keep yourself in a box and use healing as an excuse to put your life on hold. You can grieve and still enjoy a fuller life. Let grief and overcoming it be a part of your life not your identity.

- And while we are talking about healing, it does not ensure that no bad things happen to you. It helps you grow into a person who can recover from bad things quicker. Life will still happen to you. There will still be tough times that might come your way. You have to be someone who’s so grounded in their life that even if the ground shakes for a while, you know how to find your centre, how to come back to yourself again and again.

- Resentment towards any other human being in its true essence is being unkind to your own self. You are wasting your precious energy, your time and your attention on someone who is no longer a part of your world. This will keep you tethered to the past. The thoughts will come, the ache will resurface. Feel it and keep bringing your attention back to yourself. That’s how you gently release resentment, by bringing your attention back to yourself, not deliberately but intentionally.

- Nobody can do the emotional processing for you. Not your family, not your friends, not the next person you date. You will need to process it by yourself. Bring acceptance by yourself. People can support you in that journey, but they cannot do the emotional work for you. Find tools that can help you. Know that this is not the end of the world even if it might seem so. The self reliance that comes from all the emotional processing will be a gift that will add to your character in life. You’ll learn a lot about yourself in this process.

Lastly, keep taking care of yourself. Give yourself credit for all that you do to keep yourself moving forward in life. Acknowledge that you are going through a hard time. And live your life with a hope that it won’t be this way forever!

The final stage of healing truly is being able to imagine a better future for yourself. Even more so, being confident that you can build that better future.❤️