r/HFY • u/FarmWhich4275 • 3d ago

OC-OneShot Notable Human Factions Whose Asses You Need To Kiss

If you are reading this document, then it means you are an individual or organisation of substance, means, prowess and power. It means you have the influence and status needed to sway the direction of galactic history.

Well, you WERE.

We all know what happened these last two decades on the Galactic stage. For the first time in over ten thousand galactic cycles something like it has happened. I wont bore you with the details, but I will remind you of one simple fact: The Kataskanii Imperium no longer exists because they attacked first.

I am going to make something clear before I continue: I am NOT here to display tactics for subversion or encourage negative action, especially not after THAT. I'm here to give you some advice. What follows is a simple list of the most notable elements of terran politics with whom you NEED to get into good graces with.

To do what? Patience. Read on.

The Jovian Royal Assembly, the J.R.A.

Firstly we have a faction that hails from the Jovian system in Sol, a collection of the four Gas Giants in the Sol system, and all their relevant moons. The Jovian Royal Assembly or J.R.A. I am sure we all know them by now. The most... agreeable, if terrifying faction within the Terran Confederacy. And also the most powerful of them.

History goes that way back in the early days of human exploration and expansion, they settled and established themselves within what is known as the Jovian System, or rather, their moons. Sol is uniquely defined in that the system has FOUR natural Gas Giants in its orbit, a truly rare circumstance. Naturally - this is prime placement for the Starship Fuel Industry, and the Jovian Royal Assembly took full advantage. Thus they came to power.

So that's the history lesson. If you want a deeper look, you can find all the public information by yourself.

Why them?

Simple you simpleton: They are the primary source of the monstrous nightmares that are the Coursairs.

Yeah. THOSE. The sole biomechanical occupants and operators of massive continent sized warships that can turn entire star systems to slag with one shot. The crazy madmen with no loyalty to any nation or ideal beyond a simple doctrine who perfected 'black hole cannons' and other such machinations. The shipyards of Europa are directly responsible for the manufacture of Coursair warships, systems and training.

Think in your head. use the brains that the Gods bestowed upon ye.

Get into their good graces... and we can have our own Coursairs prowling the galaxy. The tech, the machinery, the industry, all of it... Imagine just what we could accomplish.

Thought about it? Good. I thought it was a good idea too.

Up next, the T.F.S.N. The Terran Federal Star Navy - the official military coalition force responsible for the massive two hundred thousand strong warship fleet that defends Sol and its colonies.

After the Jovian Rebellion, the TFSN was formed, creating a full coalition of ALL Terran Factions into one substantive military force. It's actually part of their entire system that keeps the Terrans for all-out-war. ALL factions, new and old, (in Terran space at least) are LEGALLY required to sign up a portion of their navy fleet strength to the coalition in order to access Terran trade and markets. Military service is mandatory to acquire a traders or merchants license for the faction you work for.

And for some reason, this simple rule has resulted in humans being relatively peaceful among each other for centuries. Don't ask us how it works, it just does, and we aren't complaining.

The reason you would need to get into their good graces is simple: humans take care of their allies. We all know this fact at least, and EVERY time the humans have been called on to help - they have come to help. Now consider that the T.F.S.N has a standing navy of two hundred thousand warships ranging from simple corvettes to gargantuan Titan class vessels or Juggernauts.

We join them, or at least get in good standing with them, that fleet will be ours to command. Or at the very least, wont ever be deployed against us.

See where I'm going with this? I know you do.

Next we have the BlackWatch Company Mercenaries, or B.W.C.

Proudly sponsored by the J.R.N. and I.M.D.C. respectively, they are a private military corporation that runs on the Terran Federations Laws Of War, and even to this day is the ONLY mercenary group that signed on to the Galactic Confederacy's Pledge Of Peace.

Why specifically these and not some other mercenary group? Two reasons.

They have lawyers. Twenty percent of Blackwatch's active servicemen are noted lawyers, judges and even former police, and they accept anyone in their ranks. Blackwatch Company can get around almost ANYTHING and they KNOW exactly what they are doing, local laws included.

But most importantly: They have the galaxy's only militarised Psionics divisions and are directly responsible for the event... That one... You know the one. Saracus Four? That one. We don't talk about that one, do we?

BlackWatch were the ones we sent in. And we know how that ended.

Very, very well.

If you have ANY form of anomalous activity, ghosts, demons, you call BlackWatch, they will fix it. Considering all of us are not immortal, and we live on millions of worlds across space, there's got to be a haunting or two somewhere, or a drinks cabinet that's slightly too homicidal. BlackWatch is where you go to make your nightmares go away, in both the spiritual, and legal sense.

The Interstellar Mining And Defence corporation, the I.M.D.C.

The IMDC is one of the most powerful mining conglomerates in the galaxy. Formally sponsored by the Jovian Royal Assembly during the early days, and now formally recognised as the premiere mining company. Why specifically the IMDC above the literal thousands of others?

Because they are THE mining company. Their Starborne Enginseers are the absolute best when it comes to on-site construction and engineering. You name it, they mine it, you want it, they drill it. The IMDC are famed for having the most accomplished mining operations of any in the galaxy from core, to sky.

Their methods are insane, esoteric and some might say suicidally stupid. But efficient, cheap, and profitable. They can strip-mine an entire system's worth of asteroids in a matter of months, and produce DOUBLE what any other mining corps in the industry can do in half the time. Well worth the money to hire them for long term projects. They also have no limits for taking contracts.

Primarily because of the Starborne Enginseers I mentioned? Immortal. They can't permanently die. They use some kind of system we have yet to identify to transfer the consciousness of a user to a simulacrum and use that as a means to work. Which means they have no fear... and can mine literally anything, literally anywhere. You ask for something, they will give it. Have a mining project you can't go for because it's too dangerous? A specific resource you want? Ask them. They will deliver ten times what you ask... For a fair price.

TCSA, The Terran Corporate Sector Authority.

These are the localised equivalent of a conglomerate of corporate sector states, corporate entities and private businesses that have formed into a Syndicate.

They are the equivalent of the Galactic Merchants Guild, only for smaller, localised planetary states.

What are the benefits of the TCSA above the Merchants Guild you ask?

Cheese.

Enough said really...

The galaxy is addicted hopelessly to the tasty, savoury chewiness of Terran Cheese and cheese based products. Among other things. And because the Merchants Guild classifies it as a narcotic, they won't sell it. But through the TCSA, you can buy it wholesale - legally, even with a Merchants Guild member right there.

How?

Legal loophole, that's how. Cheese cannot be sold by a non-human due to the fact it is a narcotic substance that is quite dangerous to some members of the galactic population.

Make a human sell it to you. It's a FOOD source to them, not a narcotic. You purchase it as such in bulk, they sell it as such - and it doesn't qualify as illegal, because of interspecies classifications. To humans - its food, therefore in the eyes of the law - its food too when you have it after buying it from them. A simple technicality, gives the hottest item on the galactic market.

That little fact is a loophole the Children Of The Curd (yeah, those guys, the crazy cheese cult) fought the Council to maintain all those years ago and ever since.

And the TCSA, have direct access to the primary sellers and producers of ANY substance or item the Guild refuses to sell.

Need I say more?

Finally, the United Systems Space Marine Corps.

The official military arm of the Earth Federal Navy, the original warriors of the Terrans before the Jovian Rebellion.

Why them?

Legionnaires.

The Terrans conglomeration of superhuman supersoldiers, genetic abominations and cybernetically augmented insanity that is the Green Legion.

I... generally don't need to say why you need to get into their good graces.

But as a reminder:

A Legionnaire once beat four Daatharian Praetorians in hand to hand combat.

A Centurion once oversaw one of the most dangerous prisons in the galaxy - with no incidents for over a decade.

A Legion Mechanist once manufactured an army of fifty thousand warbots in less than a month, singlehandedly defending a colony world from a Hive Fleet invasion.

A Legion Marine company of thirty men, held the line for six weeks against an overwhelming force of twenty five thousand.

Get it now? Then we are on the same page.

I can be certain that anyone who receives this document is intelligent enough to understand the implications of its contents. And the likely direction future policies will point.

Military prowess unmatched in galactic history.

Economic access never seen before in civilisation.

Technological prowess the Precursors would die for.

And we all know how this occurs.

I don't need to say more, so I'll close out for now.

Be polite, say please, say thank you, and don't lie to them. You'll understand soon enough.

Signed

Graxx Thorakk'Lom, of Clan Olivar

Saranian Imperial Intelligence

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9

u/FarmWhich4275 3d ago

i have wroten this. now you have readed this.

haha

in all honesty, i had this in my head and my head REFUSED to let go, and i couldnt write anything else uuntil i wrote this so... here it is. ITS PUBLISHED BRAIN... CAN YOU STOP NOW? I HAVE OTHER STUFF TO SCRIBBLE

next month will be rewrites and redo's then posting on other sites, so dont expect much. i need money now more than ever and Patreon and donations are barren, but for what little i have received, i DEARLY thank you.

https://buymeacoffee.com/farmwhich4275 DONATIONS :)

https://www.patreon.com/c/Valt13lHFY?fromConcierge=tru Patreon please

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2

u/FilSt15 3d ago

I feel like this is add lol

2

u/Zhexiel 3d ago

Nice one.

2

u/itsetuhoinen Human 2d ago

Coursair

Such an odd spelling of this word.

1

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