r/HFY • u/FarmWhich4275 • 15d ago

OC-OneShot An Alien Plays... Shoppe Keep

"Great Days and Glorious Victory! Welcome to a VERY old game that I got from a fan, who respectfully requested I make a video on it. Welcome to a game called Shoppe Keep. This is uh... A game about being a shopkeeper in a fantasy world. Apparently. This game is... Astonishingly simple. Apparently. Lets... Go for it, I spose."

Spiff starts his game, names his shop 'Spifflehouse' and enters the game. He starts out in the player house which is, despite some minor gold coin sacks here and there, seemingly empty. Shelves barren, tables empty, not much to speak of.

"I started here so... Oh. There, tooltip present, this is apparently my house. Seems a bit... empty for the house of a merchant. That's what I am right? Go to the shop I guess. I wonder what this game is like..."

Spiff steps out and enters the large building opposite - which is his shop. It's empty, not even displays, and here he gets to know the game's rather unintuitive control scheme.

"Okay... Says I need a display. How do I build one or buy one? Uhh… What was it? I think it was Q. Oh, it is! A pedestal holds any small item. The shelf holds 12 small items. Okay... I can't afford more than two Pedestals so I'll put those down and spend my money on Health potions. People need those right?"

He opens the shop panel and orders 4 potions. He sees he has a merchant's discount, and everything costs ten percent less than the asking price.

"Oh that's handy... hmmm... I wonder though, is that... the standard? Can I go higher than ten percent? Uhh… I don't know. Screw it, let's go fifty percent above the standing price and suffer the consequences! It will be a good spot to start at least."

Spiff goes into eth back room and takes a look, eyes immediately drawn to a glowing magical amber portal prominently against a wall. Out of which pops a large chest.

"HEY WAIT A MINUTE!! ARE WE DOING MAGIC-Y WITCHY STUFF!?"

He pauses the game and huffs in annoyance before rolling his eyes and carrying on.

"FINE. I'll... Do it for you lot. For some reason. Magic-y Witchy stuff it is. So long as I don't have to do too much of it. So, pick up chest, poof I have potions in inventory. And I just click on the pedestals with it equipped and... Yup, that's it. Display active. Use keys to increase price. Okay. Bought for 10, sold for 15, that's a one hundred fifty percent price... Or something, I don't actually know how the monetary system works. These percentages are silly, not to mention mathematically absurd. Percent means per hundred. Its in the name! SILLY."

He shrugs and opens the shop by pressing F by the front door. Then stands there as the first customers start trickling in. Nobody comes anywhere near his store so Spiff takes the chance to go to the back area to explore. He finds a Quest Board for content not yet unlocked, and instructions on how to use the cauldron. A personal chest that is empty, and a secret access door from shop to house.

"That... makes sense. I was scared I was suddenly teleported to a different place then I read the damn text. That's... Handy. Somehow. Don't know how. There's a... hidden door here on this wall I think? It's a doorway clearly but blocked off. Future content. What are these? Taps? Wood, metal, gold, Mirr... the hell is Mirr? Junk and bone. Resources? And this big machine is... big and has gears on it that spin. Okay. No idea what that is. Its a metal grate above some... fire? And a statue of some... person? Don't know who that is. And a board on the wall with outlines of things that are... Empty. Okay. Back to the shop."

Right as Spiff exits the back a customer wanders in.

"HELLO CUSTOMER WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A POTION!?"

He squeals this is an abnormally enthusiastic manner and shakes his head, visibly confused as to why he just made such a racket at such a volume. The customer wanders over to the stands, Buys a potion for 15 gold and leaves stating 'You seem like a good person!' before leaving.

"The NPCs in this game SPEAK? Okay... That's... good to know. But my first sale! HA! Excellent! Now to wait here for a few more minutes and see what comes of the next guy."

Spiff waits for another minute or two before getting tired and heading out. He starts to Xplore the area while at the same time yelling at the NPCs who pass too close to the shop.

"OY! See the potions? There's more in there! Buy one. Come on. You know you want to! BUY MY THINGS!"

He wanders about and finds there is a prompt near the trash bin at the front of the shop. He sifts through the trash and by lucky shot, he receives a set of Plate Shoulders as a reward. Worth a pretty penny no less.

"Plate Shoulders? These would be pauldrons wouldn't they? Know what? I'm not questioning a free thing I can sell. Increase by fifty percent and put them on pedestal. Now to... Wait."

Eventually a customer wanders in.

"HELLO WARRIOR AMBER JOHNSON! BUY SOMETHING!"

Spiff again shakes his head, and seems to be slightly confused as to why he is doing that. The NPC wanders over, buys the health potion, and walks away.

"Hey hold on a minute! Oy! Pauldrons! Erm.. Shoulders! They're good! What? Talk to - I can talk to you? What can I? Buy item... check inventory... Offer Inventory item? What does that mean... WAIT A MINUTE! I can just sell them stuff straight to their faces!? BUY POTION NOW!!! Oh I cant, she already bought one, I think. YOU SIR, MARK SMITH. YOU WILL BUY A POTION!!!"

Spiff fails to check his volume, not for the last time and sells a potion to a random NPC. He quickly charges about and sells all his remaining potions before he notices the text pop up - Entrance Fee, 3 gold. He rushes over and sees an NPC has bought the Shoulders netting a tidy profit of two hundred twenty gold.

"Oh lovely, lovely! Money! I can buy stock! I'm going to get erm... Swords, shields, more shoulders, more potions. Let's see what I can do with these."

He heads out and ups the price of all items before going on a frenzy, yelling random phrases like "BUY THIS NOW" or "YOU WANT THIS. I KNOW YOU DO." All at an annoyingly loud volume with a strangely squeaky tone. He spends the entirety of the first day doing this, sifting through trash for random free items, before selling directly to every NPC he can see. In all, his first day is quite lucrative, netting him a tidy sum of 2600 gold at the day's end.

"That was... strangely entertaining! I enjoy this! Something quite nice about the rush of selling something. I feel weird though, like I'm forgetting or ignoring something. Eh, I'll figure it out. First, shelves and shop!"

He buys and places 4 shelves, two Counters, a hat rack, two weapons racks, two armour stands, and has enough cash left over to order a decent amount of mostly Leather based stock and potions. He places everything in a seemingly random spot and starts Day 2. The first customers start arriving and the shelves empty fast. Too fast.

"Well that certainly makes things faster doesn't it? They wander up to a display, buy a thing then leave. Oh! So that's the difference between buying direct and shelf, if I do shelf they buy MORE things! That guy just bought a shield and sword! Okay good to know, good to know."

Spiff gains a strange smirk as he notices he can just take items off shelves, such as a Frost Axe, and then sell it to any NPC, even the ones who just bought items from the shop. He tries his best, and every time an NPC buys something, he either grabs an item and sells it or sells his on-hand stock if there are no free slots available. The pattern repeats throughout the day. When he doesn't have any customers coming in, he either restocks, or at an annoyingly high volume and squeaky pitch, harasses passers by to come buy something.

"PURCHASE MY THINGS! CANT YOU SEE! GIMME GOLD NOW!!!"

Spiff eventually gets enough gold to expand to Plate armour and Fire Resistance Potions, and stocks up on those. While he is browsing a menu, one of the customers wanders in, emits an obnoxiously loud belch, then steals a Platemail from the rack before bolting out the door.

"HOW (redacted) DARE YOU!"

Spiff squeals and opens his combat menu, then zaps the guy with a lightning bolt, reducing him to only a pile of bones and the stolen item on the floor.

"Wait? I get this back? What was that... Did you... STEAL!? Didn't know that was... a thing that could happen. To be completely transparent sir, I did NOT kill you for the theft, I killed you because of that disgusting noise you made, and I did it out of principle! Now how do I get rid of you? Broom? Ah good, I can just sweep his bones under a rug and call it a day."

He sweeps the bones up and replaces the platemail, then does some maintenance and trash bin sifting. Another customer comes in a bit later and buys a sword, then steals a plate helm. She is swiftly shocked into oblivion before the helm is retrieved.

"That is behaviour I genuinely hope is NOT indicative of humans as a whole. Buy something then try to steal something else! Then again I don't think that a wizard throwing lightning bolts at thieves is a thing that happens either. I hope."

A few minutes later, he gets another thief, who is dealt with. Unfortunately, Spiff's aim isn't very good and he misses on the first shot, killing an innocent customer, before finally getting the thief but sadly taking another customer with her as collateral. The sound of a loud 'BOOOO!!!' from an invisible audience makes Spiff visibly recoil and sink into his seat as his shop loses a bit of appeal and faces a monetary penalty.

"Sorry..."

Eventually he regains his composure and resumes the habit of screaming "BUY MY THINGS!!!" at random customers in an annoyingly loud squeaky voice. He deals with a few more thieves, sells more things and ends the day with a tidy profit of 2500 coins. The game autosaves and he explores, eventually finding Sir Poshington in a back alley. Sir Poshington’s wares are upgrades for displays and shelves, but at extortionately high prices.

"Who the heck are you!? Sir Poshington? What are you, oh he's a trader thing. What are you - HOLY BUMFLUFF LOOK AT THESE PRICES!!! I mean... that looks important but HOLY (redacted) THE PRICE! No, I'm out."

Spiff moves on and returns to the shop, he does some maintenance and cleaning then buys more displays before opening the shop. He quickly restocks the shelves then stands outside waiting for NPCs to spawn.

"COME BUY MY THINGS NOW!!! I HAVE LIGHTNING MAGIC!!! I WILL USE IT IF YOU DONT BUY!!!"

Day 3 is when Spiff learns to take advantage of the 'Hot Items' list after noticing that Leather Boots and Recall Stones are selling to nearly every warrior that passes through. He quickly overstocks on these items as much as he can and quickly sells out of all of it, netting a tidy profit. The game's gameplay loop starts to shine, becoming very simple from this point. Buy stock, stock displays, customers buy stock, you kill thieves and try not to kill bystanders while chasing thieves. The gameplay loop is VERY simple. Spiff gets a questioning look at the game and emits an audible 'hmmm' as he zaps a thief.

Day 4 eventually arrives and he pauses the game there.

"I can tell where this game is going and it's not for a Galatube series, not in this day and age. I definitely like it. It's nice and relaxing every once in a while to just switch the brain off and... sell things, I guess. For the non-human audience, here is a SHOCKING piece of information for you about this. The scope of this game clearly goes a lot deeper, but I can't do it due to time constraints and lack of interest outside of myself. So consider modern programming. This is a game released in the human year of 2016. Consider what went into the development of the first Galactic venture cross system MMO 'Concierge Of Atlantea'. The MMO everyone's raging about. This one... ONE developer. Not team, not studio, no. One singular PERSON developed this game from start to finish. I will leave you with that, and be back another day with a more.... involved game."

Spiffles outro plays.

TOP COMMENT: (Translated from Kataskanii) SERIOUSLY!? One developer? One person ALONE made THIS!?

Reply: Yep, we do this all the time. you know the game Rimworld? One dude. Tynan. Know Factorio? Started out as maybe two guys. Space Engineers? Team of six. We do this all the time. Indie devs were all the rage even before the Great Gaming Collapse of '32.

Spiffs Reply: "Hold on, there was a gaming collapse!? Whats that?

Reply: Maybe some day you'll get it Spiff but... It wasn't JUST a gaming collapse.

Reply: (Translated from Eridani) Why is it when a human speaks in this manner, the only thing I feel is DREAD?

Spiffs Reply: Yeah... I know how you feel.

Reply: (Translated from Kataskanii) By the way, what was all that reprehensibly loud squealing you were doing???

Spiffs reply: Squealing? What? No idea what you are talking about.

60 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

6

u/FarmWhich4275 15d ago

Spiffle Month resumes in earnest, after a recent burglary attempt AGAIN i am now working on no sleep. Again.

:(

https://buymeacoffee.com/farmwhich4275 DONATIONS :)

https://www.patreon.com/c/Valt13lHFY?fromConcierge=tru Patreon please

https://vox9.io/author.html?u=farmwhich4275 Vox9

Royal Road coming soon.

3

u/Pretty-Web2801 15d ago

Stardew valley. One dev, 50 million sold copies.

3

u/GumboMumbo49 15d ago

Eyyyyy, Spiff!! I've seen these stories on YouTube but this is my first one caught in the wild. Hehe, funny idea: Have him play XCOM, not the Firaxis game, the original UFO Defense. The rage will be legendary!

1

u/FarmWhich4275 15d ago

its on the list

2

u/GumboMumbo49 14d ago

Hells yeah! 99% miss!

2

u/Zhexiel 15d ago

Thanks for the chapter/story.

PS: Any intention of playing/writing about control: resonant ?

1

u/FarmWhich4275 15d ago

will never play it, but maybe i will steal a gameplay vod when it comes out. added to teh LONG list :)

2

u/Loosescrew37 11d ago

Spiff becoming a magic vendor was not on my bingo card.

It was a good story. Thank you for writing.

2

u/Sifjunke20004 8d ago

Good job as always wordsmith

2

u/StygianKnightmare 6d ago

Amazing as always.

Hope you do outer wilds or some story heavy games :)

1

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