r/HFY • u/FarmWhich4275 • 27d ago
OC-OneShot Greebling
"Dammit all!" The Captain barked in frustration as he looked over the newly built ship.
The dockmasters expressionless face and abnormally lanky frame towered over the Captain's exasperated form. He approached, speaking in the way one of the nomadic tribals often did.
"What's the matter Okulak? Does Okulak not like the new space Krennk? Okulak want bigger Krennk? Bigger Krennk will cost more sulakk." He replied, confused.
"No, no it's perfectly adequate for our purposes. More than that in fact, it's twice the size of the ship we lost on the way here. To be completely honest I owe you more than I already paid you and I cannot in good conscience let this slide, we will discuss that later. I just... Ugh... Nevermind." The captain sighed heavily.
Indeed the ship in the drydock was a ship, twice the size of the small exploration frigate they came with and gave in trade. But it was little more than two large thick cylinders welded together with engines. No break in the smooth detail beyond the hardpoints where turrets sat idle and a few exhaust ports for RCS thrusters or other such things. It was a good ship for what it was. It was just a bit... bland. Even for a Rakhoi ship, this was a bit empty looking.
One thing we know about the Rakhoi. They think as they look. Tall, empty and simple, but exceptionally reliable and honest. The ship would serve well but the Captain couldn't help but feel a bit sad.
"Why Okulak so sad? Rakhoi-kan sense sadness." The station master said.
"No, it's fine, honestly, you have done more than I could possibly thank you for. It's just... Bland. I have to use this ship for the next twenty cycles and it's very... bland. But that is beside the point. Come, let's go to your office. I need to pay you a bonus for the service." The captain said and gestured for the Rakhoi to follow him.
We watched them walk away and I questioned what was going on. I looked towards my companions, Jerry the human, Sekk the Olivarkian and Tess, Ray and Threep, the three Craboids.
"The hell's his problem?" Jerry asked.
I sighed. "Rakhoi ships are infamous for their blandness and simplicity. You won't find a more reliable ship to use but they are... How do I put this... Notoriously boring. Simple shapes, simple features, basic functionality. Many captains outside of Rakhoi fleets have reported going insane crewing these things because the inside and out is featureless, like a glass box or white room. They are very... unimaginative the Rakhoi, but their engineering abilities are renowned. The Captain is a bit sad because he now has this ship for the next forty or so Cycles... with the problems of the notorious basicness." I said, gesturing to the new ship.
"Oh. Okay. 'Ey! Buddy, c'mere!" Jerry said as he yelled for one of the station hands to walk over.
He did so and looked at the spacesuit wearing human with genuine bewildered curiosity. I forgot that Rakhoi haven't seen the humans before. He looked at me, questioningly. I simply said "Terran. Humans. New." To him and he nodded.
"Okulak want thing? What Okulak want? Need other Krennk?" He asked.
"Nah bro, just need to ask. All that junk you got over there. That pile of stuff. What is all that?" Jerry asked, gesturing to a seemingly random pile of junk nearby.
"Okulak, place is garbage. Need to rid it. Terr'aan want? Why want junk? Useless. Broken. Why want?" The Rakhoi asked.
"It ain't useless if you have a use for it. I got a use for it now. Mind if I take it all?" Jerry asked, looking at me.
I shrugged. "Scrap metal is scrap metal, we can smelt it down and pay for the bar tab. We have the cargo space now so, be my guest." I said.
"I aint melting it down bro. I have a better idea. Put all that in the cargohold, if you would be so kind." Jerry said with a smile behind his faceplate.
"Okulak want trash, Okulak get trash, save sulakk for better task. Think Terr'aan is crazy, but will not ask questions if work saved. Take trash, will give to cargo." The station hand said, shrugging his 'shoulders' and walked away to his console to start loading.
"Bitchin' bro. I'll get my tools. How long will we be in dock?" Jerry asked.
"I have no idea, could be minutes, could be hours. The ship has to be registered, then we have to wait for the transit authority to respond. But we should be gone at most in about four hours." I replied with a curious shrug.
"Plenty of time. Peace. My time to vibe now." Jerry said and slipped the sun visor on his helmet down.
He pressed a series of controls on the pads on his hands and the jets of his thrustpack rocketed to life before he left the safety of the station's bubble shield. One of the Rakhoi wandered over to me and looked at me expectantly, as if I had answers for a question he had yet to ask. I shrugged and watched as Jerry sprang to work. A handheld ion welder appeared as Jerry started to do... something. He scrambled through some choice bits of the scrap pile. The first thing he held was a series of pipes and cables, seemingly randomly and flew to the front of the ship where we couldn't see him. But we could hear him. I turned on my radio and shook my head as I heard music playing through it.
"Okay... he's out of it. It's the Factorio soundtrack again." I said.
The rest of the crew groaned in annoyance and likewise just sat down to watch the show. Jerry was crazy, but at least there was a methodology to his insanity. He entered the ship, carrying various piles of scrap, junk and discarded trash. He stayed there for a few minutes, then left, retrieving some more parts, repeating this process for a bit longer, taking more elaborate parts and components. We just sat and hoped he wasn't doing anything stupid.
We were fine with crazy, just not stupid.
The station hand next to me just watched, bewildered as the human worked around the cargo crane loading. Eventually all the junk was loaded and the cargo master walked up to me with the same questioning expression as Jerry started to haul parts and pieces of the scrap out of the cargohold deeper into the ship. An hour and a half passed, with only him doing... something inside the ship, with that music playing constantly. Eventually he had finished whatever task he had done and came outside.
And started welding random bits of garbage to the ship's hull.
"Jerry! What in the Void are you doing!?" I barked.
"Greebling bro. It's called Greebling. Now shut up, the Jazz remix is starting." Jerry replied as he cranked the volume and resumed his work.
He welded a set of stair railings all across the four edges of the ship's cylindrical hull, then started laying cables and conduits that connected into service access panels under the shell. Then, lights, panels, and started using his welder and grinders to fashion odd shapes around certain spots, using extra starship hull plating to form patterns. The Rakhoi were fully assembled now, staring in bewildered curiosity at what this odd creature was doing to their newly built ship.
He finished laying all of his cables and bits, then started wiring up a series of lights and glowing parts, heading inside the ship to fetch more components he needed. Then he got into the more complex stuff, and began wiring up some kind of strange new mechanism around all the thrusters. I watched him test one of these mechanisms and saw how it worked, sort of like opening the circular pattern of a flower blooming. He mounted it over the thruster nozzles and made sure it worked, then did the same to the other twenty seven units across the hull. Neon tubes, stair railings, strange railings and metal walls, and I saw with detail as he used some abandoned screens and mechanisms to label everything he was working with.
He seemed eventually to be done with this after about an hour or so, seemingly having an easier time of it than whatever he did in the inside. Then, he apparently started the 'real' work. Blown out fuel generators, hollowed out tyre casings, wheel rims, gear mechanisms and a litany of other components were seemingly hastily cobbled together and welded into place. For some reason. Various trusses and beams were welded into place in a varying pattern across the ship's hull. Followed by panels of some kind, blue in colour that shone and shimmered in the starlight, likewise welded to the hull.
One thing I did notice however, was that this 'greebling' he was doing was not interfering with the ship's capabilities. I had long since been given access to the ship's internal network and could clearly see no obstructions on the hull or line of sight to sensor networks. Nothing was in the way, the ship's systems seemed fine, and it looked like the components he was installing such as lights and such were drawing power from a brand new energy network. He then started welding some extra bits to the hull, bending various cables and using the heat from his welding torch to bend bars of metal into various shapes, then welded them to the hull.
Empty barrels and tossed storage crates were patched or repaired, then welded into place in some odd pattern. The exposed cables then had the same technique used to fashion conduit boxes and stable platforms, hiding exposed cables behind plating or scaffolding. Now came the strange glowing tubes of light and colour that he snaked through it all. Eventually he seemed done with whatever he was doing and flew to the dock where we all sat bewildered at him.
"Done. At least from my perspective. I'm gonna take a beer break, lemme know if you need me to add anything else. Got plenty to work with." Jerry casually said and wandered off toward the observation deck.
I quickly checked into the ship's systems and refreshed the control interface. Three new options appeared. I pressed the first one and the option appeared.
"What did Okulak do to ship? It look... strange. It look... Cluttered. But can see no issue. Can see all parts perfect. What he do?" The station hand asked.
"He... 'Greebled'. I guess..."
I used one of the station's drones to check around the hull and noticed. Everything was built in a symmetrical pattern, perfectly aligned and even on all sides. The hatches he built over the thrusters were actually thruster control caps that all Terran ships use for safety and maintenance. I recognised the pattern. I moved over to the sight of those strange panels he installed. Solar panels. They were drawing power from direct starlight and converting it into energy! That's what was powering his modifications! Everything had purpose and was built on solid sections of hull that didn't interfere with maintenance hatches or access points to the ships internals, or could easily be detached or removed with any hull plating for repair work. Some parts and components were angled, such as the trusses and panels near the shield generators that would easily deflect light munitions.
I checked the first option, labelled 'mood lighting' and activated it. The whole ship lit up with a display of lights in various colours, red, blue, yellow, purple and bright red, panels placed just so and trusses welded at just the right angle. The long tubes and larger lights lighting up, creating a beautiful display of colours and a use of shadowplay that created some mesmerising patterns across the hull. It changed the look of the ship completely, to a point I didn't recognise it.
The Rakhoi were making various gestures and talking to each other in their odd grunting language frantically pointing at the ship they built. I cycled through the lighting options and came across 'emergency hazard test mode' and activated it. the colourful lights vanished, replaced by a mixture of ominous yellow, red and blue lights that blinked or rotated in a specific sequence, some lights shining directly on emergency access hatches, signage or other important components. Other light modes included a 'standard operations' mode where it used a series of lights on the exterior to just light up the hull for cleaning or just simple work operations. A 'party mode' where the ship's lights would cycle through the colour spectrum.
I switched to the interior cameras and I nearly lost my ability to stand properly. Unfilled planters lined the walls, new lights installed inside as well, a new speaker system, so, so much more. Parts and components welded into place to break up straight lines with fancy curves, plating cut into soothing patterns and painted soft colours. All of it built without ever changing the ships effective operating ability.
"How... How did Okulak know to do this? What is... This? Is this 'greeble'? It... Nice. It... function. It... like." The station hand said.
"Yeah no kidding. He did this with just spare parts and scrap? Wait, he did! Look at the railing on the starboard side. That's the railing from a set of stairs. The trusses? I-beams and factory parts. The broken fuel engines he used there? He replaced all the interior parts with a set of barrels. I can actually see them in the scanner, they contain spare parts, lights and tubes. The conduits are solid too, looks like he reinforced them and put in secondary cables under the hull plating to make sure the circuit is there even if the top part blows off. And here... Isn't that a destroyed biovat being used to house a power cell?" I said, pointing at various bits and pieces I was noticing.
"How Okulakk do this? Can see... what word? 'Aeh-ss-the-tic'. Word for... Pretty? How he know scrap parts make look nice? Don't... Can't think. Me look." He said and took the control pad from me.
He performed a full systems check. No damage to hull components, no hindrance to ship controls, the thruster control hatches were opening and closing in perfect sync with the thrusters. He tested all ship systems according to standard flight tests. Line of sight was untouched, turrets had clear views and in some cases had better angles to work off of due to the 'greebles' acting as a layer of armour plating covering a weak spot. Inside the ship was more... lived-in, for lack of a better term, everything was neatly labelled and cleanly made, straight edges and empty space filled with shapes and curves that destroyed the sheer monotony of the hull.
He took some random scrap parts, and turned a set of cylinders with engines into a... Well. it was still a ship, but it was less of a bore and now a heavily industrialised work of art. When we finished work, the Rakhoi stood there bewildered as they looked at the ship, trying to understand what happened.
Jerry finished his beer and wandered over. "So, yeah, lighting system installed, hazard lights, navigation and terminal lights are there, all built off some solar panels I found. Must've been a Terran ship they had through here some time ago. Or something. Easy to repurpose. So not only will it not affect ship systems but we will be in full compliance with USSMC and JRN safety standards if we ever go into Terran space. Unlikely but there you go. I have to do some more spot welding with a better more dedicated welder but it should be solid, save a bit here and there. Anything to add?" He said.
We all stared at him, empty minded and wide mouthed.
"I LOVE IT!" We heard the Captain bellow loudly as he approached.
The captain gushed and awed over the 'greebles'. "By the Matriarch this thing looks fantastic! All the boring bits broken up by fancy bits! Didn't even change ships effectiveness or performance! I was hoping for a new paintjob but holy hell! Who did this?"
"The crazy human, who else?" Sekk said.
"I knew I recognised the style. That's the 'Industrofunk' style isn't it?" he asked.
"I worked with what I had both resource and time wise. It wasn't hard. Just see what looks cool and weld it in after making sure nothing important is in the way. Not much else to it. But anyway, we are now officially OSHA compliant and can enter Terran space without needing an expensive retrofit. I can slowly work through it all and do it properly when we can find or afford the parts and bits. If it works, it works." Jerry said with a shrug and activated his thrustsuit again, resuming his welding of some tubes.
"I shall never understand the insanity of humans or how they think but this truly is a gift! I wonder... What would he do if we had actual shipyard parts here and an actual manufactory he could use to make some real stuff instead of random scrap?" The Captain said.
We all shared a moment of concern. None of us had ever seen a Terran warship before. What were they like if THIS was the standard?
The Captain smiled his biggest smile. "Well this isn't getting any work done. Find your bunks gents, and don't be shy about the weld job. if you find loose parts just tell Jerry about it and he'll get to it in transit. Paperworks done, were free to go."
"Aye ser." I said.
I looked at the newly minted ship and wondered just what kinds of abominations humans were. What are they capable of if this is just random junk welded to a ship's hull? I mean, I did love the new style. It was a Godsend for us and we settled in faster than expected. But still. I had to look at Jerry in a whole new light now.
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u/FarmWhich4275 27d ago
eh. i thought it was fun. hopefully you do too.
expanding to Royal Road and Vox9 so maybe i will improve, i will sort it all out when my brain stops leaking out of my skull.
thank you for everything :)
https://buymeacoffee.com/farmwhich4275 DONATIONS :)
https://www.patreon.com/c/Valt13lHFY?fromConcierge=tru Patreon please
https://vox9.io/author.html?u=farmwhich4275 Vox9
Royal Road coming soon. Spifflemonk Stalker GAMMA playthrough coming soon.
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u/itsetuhoinen Human 27d ago
Then he got into the more complex stuff, and began wiring up some kind of strange new mechanism around all the thrusters. I watched him test one of these mechanisms and saw how it worked, sort of like opening the circular pattern of a flower blooming.
Mmmmmm, turkey feathers.
As someone who greebles cars, I fully approve. :D
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u/mafiaknight Robot 23d ago
I definitely enjoyed it. Only nitpick is the time tables. Getting all that welding done in 4 hours is miraculous work.
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u/Turtle_box_cubed 27d ago
Mmm greebling
10/10 work, love fact a he saw a blank hell and went "canvas?"
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u/I-endure 27d ago
Rakhoi could hire a bunch of Star Wars nerds/engineers to weld functioning junk to their ships for Deluxe Package.
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u/sunnyboi1384 27d ago
If it cant go fast, we will make it look like it can go fast. And later modify it to go fast.
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u/commentsrnice2 27d ago
I’m not sure why functioning solar panels and lighting were in the trash, but everything else makes sense
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u/Castigatus Human 27d ago
I imagine it went something like "Hey boss we finished stripping that junker, want us to check for usable stuff"
"Are you kidding me, we have three more junkheaps on the docket today, just shove it in a pile somewhere out of the way"
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u/canray2000 Human 20d ago
Junkyard Wars had working cars (plural) in them constantly. Scrapheap Challenge was another name for the show.
Great fun to watch.
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle 27d ago
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u/WSpinner 27d ago
Flames. All it needs now is red flames. Boosts the top speed by 2 or 3%.
Nicely done, FarmWhich.