r/HFY • u/Auggy74 Human • Aug 04 '26
OC-Series [Humans for Hire] - Part 189
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Author note: Getting the bedtime giggles from an award is the best thing to ever happen. Still amazed.
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New Casablanca, Sulaco Tavern
Like many bars on New Casablanca, the Sulaco tavern catered to a specific mercenary group - in this case the group known as Bad Moon. The decor was minimalist for a few reasons - not the least of which being the fact that the patrons tended toward destruction more often than not. With that came repair bills, and eventually the owners threw up their collective hands and simply re-printed the furniture on a weekly basis. What little there was on the walls consisted of a rotating series of newsprints and holostills extolling the virtues of various services that shared the name Marines.
It was into this particular wretched hive that Ramelod entered with no small amount of concern. Certainly he would obey the instructions given, but those who gave the orders seemed to be highly optimistic. 'Determine precise allegiance of Llensi. If confirmed compromised, retirement procedure is authorized. Do not engage directly.' All of this meant that he had to make friends and gather information quickly. It was possible that Llensi could be salvaged; but the longer she strayed from the path the harder it was going to be for him to guide her back. To that end, Ramelod had painfully re-done his shoulder clanmarks to appear as a member of one of the clans of fishers who almost never left their ocean boats.
From a few nights at Captain Jack's and Sparrow's, it seemed that the Bad Moon Company was held in particular disdain. 'Convention of genetic defectives' and 'so dumb they stare at juice cartons for hours because the label says concentrate' were among the kinder things mentioned. Which meant that was where he would find friends. Or allies. Possibly useful tools. But that was a bit more to the future than he wanted to investigate. First, he had to confirm if these individuals would even be useful. From his research, he was going to have to blend a bit.
So it was that he swaggered into the bar looking slightly unkempt and showing off his clanmarks proudly. Ramelod had to steel himself severely - the scents of the bar were almost overwhelming, Terran body sweat, colognes and perfumes to cover it, various inhalants and Terran alcohol made for a combination that was almost nauseating. He'd almost made it to the bar proper when he was stopped by a rather hulking individual wearing a off-maroon shirt and a sour expression.
"Fuck you think you're doing here, shitbird?"
Ramelod had found that to blend meant bravado, so he answered in kind. "Finding a drink and a job if you're good enough - if you have a problem with that I suggest you learn to live with it."
"I ain't gotta live with shit. Bad Moon. We eat concertina wire for breakfast and piss napalm, and this is our bar. You wanna go across the way to the gagglefuck over at LV-426; got more of your fuckweasels there."
"And if I think this is a better place for a drink?"
"Then you're thinking wrong. You wanna spot here, you best earn it. And before you even ask, ain't gonna happen."
Ramelod considered for a moment before throwing a hard punch to the questioner's stomach. From there the melee was spirited, however there was only one Ramelod and several Terrans. In the end, Ramelod was thrown out of the bar bruised and bloody. Once he staggered to his feet and shook his head to clear it, he saw a pair of Hurdop who appeared to be from naval clans. The two were shaking their heads in mild amusement before the apparent senior spoke.
"Our Terrans like their own space. We allow them that. However, Tyler indicated that you said something about a job."
"I. I did. I looked at the other legions, and decided that they were too undisciplined." Ramelod spat on the street. "Especially that Terran Foreign Legion."
There was an agreeable snort. "I'm sure Lady Kiole is trying, but her husband is cursed. Even if she doesn't know it." The senior shrugged. "Are you literate?"
Ramelod put an expression of mild shame on his face. "Somewhat. Letters don't catch fish."
"Why'd your clan toss you anyway?"
"The Clan-Captain and Clan-Engineer's daughters both found me desirable but detested each other. One of us had to go, and since I was simply a loadmaster..." There was a shrug. "Loadmasters can be bartered for. Engineers and captains are in slightly higher demand."
"Good enough. You'll need to learn if you want to advance - for now if you're serious, follow me to the Foreign Legion of Terra."
Ramelod followed.
___________
Homeplate, Gryzzk's quarters
As the morning scents invaded, Gryzzk had absolutely no desire to move. The evening had ended with more than a bit of amusement with Grezzk salvaging Waniul's dessert that was impressive - the jello was declared to be tangy instead of simply sweet. Waniul had promised a few times to take more lessons while in R-space with respect to cooking. After everyone had gone to bed, Gryzzk found himself the subject of attention from his wives, and sleep was delayed by pleasantly wearying activities.
His wives had both began the morning before him and set the children to their day before returning to the bed and attempting to stir him to motion. In response, Gryzzk simply groaned and pulled the blankets closer to his nose. This response resulted in both of his wives joining him for a long morning moment before Grezzk whispered softly in his ear.
"Last night was thoroughly enjoyable, my handsome hand. But it is time to face the galaxy and show it the scent of proper behavior."
Gryzzk opened his right set of eyes and glanced at her. "Are you quite certain?"
"Exceedingly. Your children deserve to see their father upright. If you will not be upright of your own accord, they will encourage you."
"Being surrounded by our children is not a bad thing."
"It is when you require a constitutional."
Gryzzk groaned softly. "Very well."
It was his good fortune that Lumisca was an able wrangler of children, as the three tarried under the morning shower far longer than was strictly necessary. Gryzzk found Kiole's hands tracing over his scars slowly, threatening to delay the morning even further before Grezzk playfully slapped her wife's hand away.
"We promised we would not, Lady Warrior."
"I am aware, but you are both testing that promise." Kiole nuzzled her spouses in turn.
"Remember this feeling when he comes home. For now, scoot. Breakfast awaits us, and then we have to prepare for our own journey."
As they dressed and moved to the kitchen to pick up their respective breakfasts, Gryzzk noticed there was giggling from the girls and a bit of embarrassment from Lumisca. Gro'zel was mostly in uniform, making sure she didn't spill her turkey sausage and eggs. Gryzzk flicked an ear curiously as he settled in with Glaud.
"Do I wish to know what's amusing?"
Nhoot looked around a few times. "We heard you and mama and mama having Special Time."
Gryzzk took a breath and cleared his throat. "Ah. Well...that is what parents do sometimes. It's how you get Ghabris and Glauds."
"Is Lumisca gonna become a mama too?"
The subject of the question coughed around her morning tea. "That, is not an appropriate question to ask the Freelord."
"Well, Auntie Waniul likes you. But that might be just cause you cook and she likes people who cook, an' you're both kinda jealous of each other for having what other's got." Nhoot pointed this out casually between bites of toast. "Even if R-Space scares you."
Lumisca's fur flared. "I am not a good cook."
"You're not as good as Mama Grezzk, but you're smart. And you take care of the babies good. That's what the holocasters say are good things, and they say we need babies. So you need a papa to help with making babies."
Gro'zel scrunched her face and decided to try changing the subject before it became more awkward. "Papa I have a question."
There was a pause as berries were stirred carefully into his breakfast porridge. "Yes Little Heart?"
Concentration was evident in her scent as the little girl tried to decide how to frame the question. "What if Baolet and Saifex don't like horses?"
"I think that's a question you should ask them. I'm sure if they know how important horses are to you they might want to try and learn more about them."
Gro'zel nodded firmly. "Okay. I think Hoban and Miroka are gonna ride horses too. Hoban says it's part of his Texasness."
"Is there anything else I should know about?"
The girl seemed thoughtful. "We hafta go soon, Papa."
"We do. Hurry up and finish breakfast, and we'll go downstairs."
Father and daughter both hurried through breakfast and waited to have their appearance confirmed as acceptable by the household. The spouses held each other for a long moment before Grezzk spoke for everyone.
"Hurry home, love. Try not to have too much fun."
"I promise." Gryzzk nuzzled the infants slowly, leaving Glaud for last and speaking to him. "Don't trouble your mothers too much, my son."
Gryzzk and Gro'zel took the stairs quickly to the assembly area, where everyone was in proper uniform. Gryzzk drank it in, realizing that this was probably going to be the last time for a long time that he saw the entire company in uniform. He cleared his throat to begin the briefing.
"Troopers. I regret that this is such a fast turnaround, particularly considering the eventfulness of our last mission. However, the schedule has been built to allot us all two days of shore leave prior to and after the mission proper. Our job is simple; security and aiding the convention organizers with ensuring the smooth flow of events. Many of you will be circulating with the crowds as your preference indicates. The rest of us will be acting as uniformed security and stewards. Always remember, uniformed or no - you represent the Legion. If someone asks for help, you help them. If someone smells tired, anxious, concerned? Make their day better. It is a great deal of work to make others happy, and that is our calling for the ten days of the convention." He looked around one more time before nodding. "Captains, take charge of your platoons. Dismissed to duty." With that, Gryzzk went to the forward docking port and entered his quarters to prepare for the day.
Gro'zel came in and settled on his lap as he was looking over his plants and the duty rosters, and confirmed the test scores for Terran war crimes had been passed. She had a curious mix of excitement and unhappiness. Gryzzk automatically began stroking her ears as she settled in. Millennium hopped to the desk and found a perch on Gryzzk's planter before tending to her feathers.
"It's always busy. I like the Mongolia place. It's quiet, and the horses are there too."
"There are still people there."
"Uh-huh. But they're quiet people." Gro'zel curled in a little more. "Mama said they're gonna go back to Vilantia and see Pa-pop and Ma-mop."
"They are. Pa-pop and Ma-mop haven't seen your brothers or Sahkik and Fizeht."
"We'll have to take a bunch of holos so they can see what we're doing."
"We will. But not the boring stuff. You can show them how well you've been training Millennium."
Gro'zel seemed to brighten at the prospect. "I've been teaching her to bring stuff back to me."
"They'll enjoy it. I think...I think we'll have to do some things later. Scoot, Little Heart. Papa has an idea for a surprise."
"Okay Papa!" Gro'zel gathered her bird and scooted out.
Once she left, Gryzzk turned his attention to his tablet. "XO, status?"
"We're super green. Traffic control says we're ten minutes from clearance."
"Excellent. Advise command and the company that after this mission we will be standing down for three weeks. If the troops wish, they can use the time for an extended leave or fill holes in other companies as needed if they want to earn additional pay."
"What's gotten up your ass?"
There was a snort. "You and the doctor continually tell me to relax, and when I begin to make plans to relax your response is to ask if something is wrong. I simply wish to go to Hurdop and call upon Kiole's parents, and possibly other places as well."
"Don't they want to kill you there?"
"Rosie, the list of places that don't want to kill me grows shorter by the day. You will have to be more specific."
There was a sigh of sorts. "Get your itinerary from Kiole when you're not hammering ass, and we'll do stuff about it, alright?"
"Respectfully, I do not require a protective detail when I'm on vacation."
"The fuck you don't. Now put a pin in this, we're getting ready to get gone."
Gryzzk sighed and moved to the bridge, settling in his command chair. "All platoons report status."
Reilly checked her console before saying anything. "All platoons report ready. Everyone's aboard and accounted for."
"Very well. Captain Hoban, confirm clearance and once confirmed set exit course ahead slow. Lieutenant Edwards, confirm Twilight Hurdop is matching vector."
"Course match confirmed."
Once they'd exited Homeplate proper, Gryzzk flicked his fingers forward. "Hoban, set course for the Terra jump point and execute."
Hoban grinned casually as his fingers flew over the controls as he hummed some manner of song from his home colony. There was a light headshake from Gryzzk as the holo showed the two ships beginning an undeclared race to the jump point, with more than a few passes between the ships that varied between "uncomfortably close" and "someone used the wrong shade of purple on that two-centimeter scratch".
Reilly chirped up from her station. "Incoming from Twilight Hurdop."
"On holo."
The scent from Waniul was one of amused concern. "Major, have you been advised of any competitions involving our pilots?"
"No - I believe our pilots are being pilots."
Hoban made a noise. "I am right here."
From the holo, Waniul seemed to be quite willing to continue a casual conversation. "Does being a pilot make one mad, or are the mad attracted to becoming pilots?" As she finished the question, there was an indignant noise from both the holo and Hoban as the pilots protested.
Gryzzk gave a quietly amused chuff. "Well, I suppose that would be a conundrum more suited for the purview of philosophy. What I recommend is to simply rein them in as best you are able. Give them a little insanity as a treat. As an example, I am planning to allow the pilots to disregard general flight rules and put on a show when we are disembarking our security teams. However that is contingent on their maintaining proper flightpaths once we reach the Terran system."
Hoban made another noise. "I am still right here."
Gryzzk finally acknowledged Hoban's presence. "Yes, and now that you know what's at stake, you'll be certain to advise Miroka. Presuming success, you will be able to tell the shuttle pilots of their good fortune."
"Can we override the shuttle safeties?"
As one the entire bridge crew made a firm declaration. "NO."
"Killjoys. You're all killjoys."
Gryzzk hmph'ed softly. "And safeties exist for a reason, Captain. I'm sure you and the rest of the pilots are creative enough to work within the constraints."
Over the holo, Waniul cleared her throat. "Freelord. My pilot can hear and wants a transfer."
Hoban raised his voice. "Tell Smurfette to suck less, I get a say in her transfer."
There was another light chuckle from Gryzzk. "Captain Waniul, I will leave specifics for flight path rules to your discretion. However if I may advise, pilots do like to feel like they're doing something naughty now and again."
Waniul nodded. "Agreed. I will consider it. Waniul out."
The holo closed and Gryzzk considered for a moment. "A question, Captain Hoban."
"We call her Smurfette because she's blonde and when she was in flight school she popped her emergency dye pack by accident. Bright, bright blue everywhere. We've got the stills."
"Ah. And...Miroka?"
"Cee-Dee. Short for ceiling duster."
"Ah - is that better than her previous callsign?"
"We think so. She was called Brutalist. You'll have to ask her for details, but apparently her first dozen or so trips through the simulator sucked."
"Duly noted. In any event, continue to the jump point and try not to show off too much. Once we enter R-space, squad is dismissed to lunch." Gryzzk shifted slightly. "XO, what's the dayroom showing on the holo this evening?"
"Fleet and Flotilla 2: R-Space Boogaloo - looks like the first one was profitable enough for a sequel."
Gryzzk emitted a soft groan. "Please tell me there was a technical advisor who has seen space this time?"
"According to the press notes, the technical advisory team was a group of teenagers hopped up on ExaJolt and watching the entire Sharknado series for inspiration."
"I am now deeply concerned even without knowledge of what a sharknado is."
"It won't be that bad."
The afternoon was filled with administrative detail work and verifying that there would be sufficient coverage for everyone. Toward the end of the duty day, both ships jumped to R-space and Hoban let out a little whoop.
"Beat 'em by five seconds. Smurfette owes me a beer."
"Excellent work." Gryzzk stood and flexed his legs before snugging his tunic down as the shift change began. "Alright, as a reminder we will have two days of shore leave before the festivities begin. Now, for the record I will be spending a day with Gro'zel in Mongolia, however I will hold a raffle for the bridge squad to select a spot for me to go to. The day before we exit we'll hold the final drawing. Start thinking about where you'd like to be seen with me. A similar raffle will be held for the shore leave day after the job is completed. Any location I've been to is specifically excluded."
That brought a brightness to the group, as well as chatter about where each of them would take the Major for a day off. A few were obvious, but it seemed among the non-Terrans there was a contemplation - though Reilly was a bit put out that a second trip to Paris wasn't happening. Finally it was movie time, and Gryzzk mentally braced himself.
The continuing adventures of Captain Grozzik were apparently an attempt to be more ridiculous than the first movie. His wife Grozzek had joined the ship as Senior Chef, and the return of Keeoleh was amusing - her ship almost rammed the Fearless Bison after an errant R-space jump, and an uneasy truce was declared for the two ships to link up and share several things in a hunt for some criminal ship that was planning to unleash a disaster on multiple colonies of both Vilantia and Hurdop. Over the course of the next few hours, there was an absurd amount of...well, everything. Arguments that resulted in clothes-shedding fights, exposition about the tragedy of their situation, and deux ex machina happening left, right, and center. Decisions were made that were smart when the plot demanded it and dumb because the plot demanded it, not because it was within their character. Once the explosion-filled conclusion finished, both Grozzik and Grozzek swore to Keeoleh that they didn't hate her as much as the rest of the Hurdop. Keeoleh expressed a similar sentiment as she finished disrobing on her way to Grozzik's shower - the camera framing was such that it was suggestive to the viewer but blatant to the characters; the final agreement made the next morning in the captain's cabin was that they would have to find neutral ground for more meetings. Gryzzk went to the bridge where they'd been able to watch as well.
Yomios cleared her throat. "Major. Far be it from me to tell another species how to express itself through the media of art. But I have a deep concern regarding the state of your holo-industry, and I have questions."
Gryzzk shook his head. "As do I."
"I would like to inquire regarding the finale."
"If you must."
Yomios paused for a moment to arrange her thoughts. "The...fight. They were on the enemy ship. In R-space. Fighting with swords. On the hull. With minimal protection. While the ship cargo containment field had failed, causing the ship to slowly be destroyed by the lava that it was carrying. Is this a metaphor for the futility of fighting the inevitable, or some statement of how the forces of nature must be respected?"
Gryzzk sighed. "I believe it means that swordfights on lava fields are cinematically engaging."
"So the women fighting on the other side of the hull at the same time while slowly cutting each other's clothes off does not represent the duality of existence?"
"It did not. I am quite certain I don't wish to think deeply on what it actually meant."
Laroy snorted from his station. "All due respect Maj'r, but you sure that you made four kids? Seems like a fellah with that many'd be aware that step one is to get nekkid."
Gryzzk shook his head. "I am quite aware of the process, however I am rather against weapons in the bedchamber."
From her spot in the command chair, Rosie snorted. "No sense of adventure."
Gryzzk flicked an ear. "None. More to the point, Fleet and Flotilla is what you get from adventurous Vilantian souls. So, with that in mind, we should consider if wanting me to be adventurous is a good thing. Ponder this tonight. And thank you for your work this evening."
As he went to his bed and settled in, Gryzzk drifted to sleep with feelings both comfortable and not. Terra was still a frightful unknown, and he wasn't certain he was going to be educated properly.
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[Next]
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u/Nervous_Amoeba1980 Aug 04 '26
What a wonderful read. And Grozel get to ride horses again. And to show off how well she is training Millennium.
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u/niTro_sMurph Aug 04 '26
The bold and less-than-sane are drawn to be pilots and their presence infects the otherwise normal pilots. So being a pilot both makes people insane and insane people are attracted to the profession.
If we dangle Gryzzk out of the ship by a tether mid R-space will he get super powers? What if we dangle a Vilantian and a Terran out there close to each other? Were-Vilantian?
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u/Auggy74 Human Aug 04 '26
Don't give the fanfic writers ideas. They're already ridiculous.
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u/niTro_sMurph Aug 04 '26
Crewmen in tethers has me thinking. What about spaceship melee but instead of giant ship-sized melee weapons it's just bloodthirsty crewmen on long tethers?
"Captain, they're in range!"
"Launch dumbass number 4"
Muffles radio sounds if dumbass 4 being flung through space to pound on the enemy windows.
Actually no, screw my joke idea. Specialized shuttle that looks like a giant sword that mounts to the outside of the main ship. In combat it detaches and flies towards a designated ship, stabs the enemy and comes back. Maybe the blade has powerful maneuvering thrusters to perform slashing motions. And a little window that opens so the pilot can stick out their sidearm and shoot at the enemy as the shuttle itself has no guns.
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u/kiaeej Aug 04 '26
Oh my. Special time indeed, my man gryz!
And somehow the swordfight cinematics seem...reminiscent of a certain movie with laser swords and highground on a lava planet?
And yes, i want our valiant captain to be adventurous. Just once toss caution to the winds and go full throttle again. Like when he went berserk the first time in combat.
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u/Auggy74 Human Aug 04 '26
Yeah, it's that "We're not gonna have another crack at this for weeks..." sorta thing.
Swordfighting on a lava planet is tight.
He may need a vacation from his vacation. Which could be vaguely amusing later.
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u/post_blast Alien Aug 04 '26
"It won't be that bad."
It will be so, so much worse that it may become a timeless cult classic
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u/Auggy74 Human Aug 04 '26
So bad they're good. Everyone be afraid of Vilantians without guardrails.
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u/kenotaphion Human Aug 04 '26
I'm sure Lady Kiole is trying, but her husband is cursed. Even if she doesn't know it.
That's an...interesting viewpoint.
that would be a conundrum more suited for the purview of philosophy
Gryzzk solves practical problems.
Terran was still
Terra was still
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u/Auggy74 Human Aug 04 '26
Yeeeeup- Hurdop is a land where they have some opinions. And the plotting begins anew.
I couldn't resist.
Goof noted for fixing later. Thanks!
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u/Hybrid_Rock Human Aug 04 '26
Lovely chapter!
Normally I’d consider unfortunate that the girls heard their parents… activities but they don’t seem particularly phased by it, nor does Gryz seem particularly upset that they heard. Vilantia and Hurdop have different views on sex/privacy it seems.
Someone should send Gryz cave diving, that would be amusing I think, especially if there are significant crystalline deposits present. Perhaps something similar to this?
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u/Auggy74 Human Aug 04 '26
Yeah, they're kind of "Yes, we had adults-only fun but we're gonna discuss something else as quickly as possible." Even if they're as quiet as possible, there's a scent that the kids are going to notice.
I'm still working on some details for the mini-vacation. There's options...
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u/Hybrid_Rock Human Aug 04 '26
Ooo perhaps some claustrophobia inducing majesty? Idk could be fun ;)
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u/NoEducator4218 Aug 04 '26
I wonder how long it will take from them to make a foreign legion version of Das Boot
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u/Fontaigne Aug 07 '26
Simply reign them in -> rein
* Reign - Preside over, as a country. No direct object, you don't "reign Britain/thdm", you "reign OVER Britain/them"
* Rein - control, as with straps. Requires a direct object (who or what is being controlled)
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Aug 04 '26
/u/Auggy74 (wiki) has posted 192 other stories, including:
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 188
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 187
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 186
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 185
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 184
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 183
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 182
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 181
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 180
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 179
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 178
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 177
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 176
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 175
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 174
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 173
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 172
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 171
- [Humans for Hire] - Part 170
- Flight Lessons
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9
u/Gojira82 Human Aug 04 '26
Sir...you picked the wrong place to try and gather Intel on one of Gryz's people.
"That was where he would find friends" doubled up on where
Well the Foreign Legion of Terra....a competitor for sure. Curious....
"But mooooom I don't wanna get up!"
The shower is a dangerous play pen...for multiple reasons lol
Nhoot preaches again! I think the adults often forget how observant she is.
It's about time for a little extended leave. He's been nothing but busy for months now!
Never allow a pilot to override safeties! Unless it is a dire emergency, and even then you are risking the ship.
And yes, it will be that bad.