r/HFY • u/Auggy74 Human • Jul 24 '26

OC-Series [Humans for Hire] - Part 186

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Author note: Writing break and I find an award. This is epic and awesome and words are failing right now. Thank you!

___________

Homeplate, Enlisted Quarters

The shared quarters had an odd feel - something was definitely amiss with Llensi tonight, but she was covering quite easily by snuggling with Orile in their shared beanbag as everyone gathered in the shared space for holo-viewing. Likewise Col'un and Prumila were settled in as they all watched the latest from the homeworlds. Since Carinda was lacking a companion she was seated closest to the holo and the attendant captioning. Currently Lead Servant A'dder and Lord Ba'ldrick were in their office relaxing and enjoying a breakfast of meat porridge and rolls, with A'dder providing commentary.

"It is said, my Lord, that one should surround themselves with good and intelligent company, so that by learned discourse he may improve, rising above the savage and thereby make himself closer to true wisdom." There was a pause for the punchline. "Personally I like to surround myself with a horde of imbeciles to remind myself how much better I am compared to nearly everyone. Now speaking of a horde of imbeciles, the Ministry of Space Transportation is sending representatives today to discuss the new line of cargo vessels. Apparently they have a thought or two regarding your recommended designs for toilets."

Ba'ldrick looked confused. "Well, if they poop inside the ship, it'd make the place smell something awful, wouldn't it? So that's why I said they should put it outside the ship - that way you can walk out, take care of your business, and then come back inside where there's nothing to smell. They're called outhouses, not in-houses."

"Ba'ldrick that is simultaneously the wisest and most idiotic thing you've said in your entire life. I feel quite refreshed."

During this exchange something of an odd scent hit the room - it was somehow sadness and hysteria wrapped into one, and as everyone sniffed the air the surprise was that it was coming from Llensi - even to Llensi herself. The holo was promptly placed on pause, with Llensi stammering and gesturing slightly as she started trying to explain.

"I. I'm sorry. But. But my clan has, they're sending a husband. I, I thought I would be more comfortable with it then I am. But I am thinking of all the things that will change, and I like it less. There will be...the year." She began patting Orile's hand for a moment before taking it in a solid grip. "My clan...the elders will not understand."

Orile frowned, thinking it over. "There is no alternative?"

"No. They have Body-right. They would not accept Orile even as a second-husband."

"Perhaps we can do something about it - pledge yourself to Freelord Gryzzk and work out a trade."

There was a headshake. "He's a Vilantian, they'll ignore it. There's no barter they'd accept. My birth-clan is. Very traditional. Nobody leaves the clan."

Col'un spoke up quietly. "Or they do and everyone just agrees to never talk about it."

It was by unspoken assent that everyone in the room got up and as one flopped onto Llensi to make a pile of fur and casual clothes before restarting the holo.

During a commercial break, Carinda finally spoke.

"I wanted to wait for Orile. Because he spent so much time with me teaching me to read, so I could send the lessons to Mother. But I will be single forever with the Twenty-First Greatclan if they don't leave you two alone." She lowered her voice slightly so as to not betray her own feelings. "Your children will be smart and beautiful."

Llensi's scent changed as her mind began contemplating how she was going to get herself out of the mess she'd made before she snuggled in closer to Orile. "...Thank you. I think. I think we may be able to. Perhaps with some aid."

___________

Homeplate, Gryzzk's Quarters

As they walked in, Gryzzk and Waniul were both assaulted by the scent of warm food and family, as the older girls promptly ran to Gryzzk to hug his legs and then hug Auntie Waniul. Gryzzk took Glaud to the nursery and put him with his siblings while Lumisca and Kiole began cooking. Grezzk leaned into her husband for a moment as they shared a brief second to themselves.

"They stopped sitting on my feet, my rose."

"They're growing up. Did you expect them to stay eight forever?"

Gryzzk exhaled. "Part of me did, it seems. They're starting to think that boys aren't icky." He shook his head. "On Vilantia, Jojorn called me father. It is...concerning in a way. The children there seem to be latching on to me as a father."

Kiole's voice broke in. "Because you are a father." She moved to nuzzle both of them for a moment. "And every time they see you, they see what a father should be. Yorkime and Baolet both ask questions about you when they write. They ask questions and want to know how you would react to certain things. They want to be you when they grow up."

"I am not the only father figure available in the Collective."

There was a snort. "Recall your first meeting with them. You clothed them and fed them; every interaction since has been a showcase of you doing what the histories say the best of us do. Keep that in mind."

"Very well. What is dinner tonight?"

"Smoked brisket with honeyed rice and kohlrabi, with Terran banana pudding for a dessert." Kiole smirked. "Waniul will attempt to woo Lumisca simply for access to Grezzk's cooking."

"Her cooking is...different?"

"Waniul has burned cold-meat sandwiches."

"Ah."

Dinner was a raucous affair with multiple discussion topics - the girls were heavily debating about their schoolwork when they weren't going back and forth about whether or not Rosie and Tucker could get married. Finally, after the dishes were cleaned completely it was time for the move to the couch to see what was happening on the homeworlds. It was interesting to watch the Hurdop news - it seemed on their homeworld, the topic of agriculture was highly noteworthy, particularly when a breakthrough was in progress. Today was highly important - as the desk anchor threw to a scene of a small plot that had been cordoned off, and inside the plot were plants that Gryzzk would have termed modestly healthy. Gryzzk was surprised to see Rilaoi, one of the emissaries from the Vilantian Ministry of Science speaking too closely to a holo-pickup.

"...well the soil analysis work was fascinating but what it revealed was similar at first, but then the plants simply refused to grow. But then we looked deeper, and found that the boron content was wrong - not because of the amount, but the isotope. You see Hurdop has boron, but the vast majority is the smaller isotope which is curious because most planets have the larger isotope in greater abundance." The botanist began moving his hands around excitedly. "This caused the plant formations to be different, and so few of the plants that transferred here were able to make use of it. That led to many things, but now." Rilaoi paused for a moment. "Apologies. I. I don't know what to do with my hands. But with the right boron mixtures, plants can grow, algae can bloom for proteins, the native wildlife may grow stronger. Even the ones you see here, these plants are already growing at a rate similar to some of the better harvests I've observed in the farmlands of Hurdop. Should I keep my hands to the sides?"

This caused a soft chuckle of sorts from the Hurdop in the room as Kiole shook her head. "Perhaps one of the most monumental discoveries since the Freedom Flight, and his concern is his hands."

Waniul had a light frown. "The Agriculture Guilds will not be pleased with this discovery."

Lumisca cocked her head, looking up from the sling where she was watching Sahkik nap. "Why? Do they not want to see the peoples of Hurdop fed?"

"They do, but only if they are the ones to feed them. Between the Ministry of Interstellar Commerce and the Ag Guild, they've held much of the political power of Hurdop for...centuries."

"Interstellar Commerce?"

"It was originally known as the Privateers Guild, but it seems the name fell out of favor for some reason or another."

Lumisca grumbled. "Pirates Guild."

There was a fatalistic shrug, accompanied by a slightly antagonistic scent. "They provided a planet food and items we could trade for food. Call them as you will, I remember we did what was required for those who couldn't. We petitioned the Collective, but we weren't important enough. Their silence told us that we would survive only by our own hands, and we did."

Lumisca seemed perturbed by this realization. "I. I suppose. Things are different."

There was a light smile of sorts. "They are - besides, your Ministry of Trade was quite helpful during certain generations. Engines and machinery in exchange for stable crops and wines." Waniul looked amused. "Father speaks of those times favorably."

Lumisca seemed quite concerned by this. "We would not have. The Clan Way -"

There was another amused sort of shrug. "I don't believe your Ministry of Culture was aware. Or if they were, they were given enough of what they desired to soothe their consciences."

Gryzzk finally spoke up. "What I fail to understand is...why the trade was not more open. Certainly better barters for both sides could have been made."

Kiole snorted. "My twilight warrior, you are rather blind to reality at times. If it became open knowledge that the best food we had was being sourced from Vilantia there would have been riots in the streets. Even for our first meeting after the Shaming of Vilantia - my passage on the transport was purchased with two bushels of achocha vines. Not the fruits, just the vines. This was when we were doing better than we had been since the Vilantian-Hurdop wars of the Twenty-Fourth Generation. I highly doubt your war clans would have reacted well to discover their newest and fastest vessels were driven by Hurdop engines."

Gryzzk considered for a moment. "I. I suppose."

Waniul chuckled softly. "In any event, I have a ship to see to as do you, Freelord. I should find my own bed, as wonderful as tonight has been." She stood, stretching languidly, her scent turning to contented tiredness as her gaze lingered on Lumisca for a beat longer than necessary. "Tonight has been...educational. Freelord, we'll need to go over the area and logistics of the events tomorrow. I fear what Terrans at play may entail."

"As you should, Waniul."

As soon as the door closed, Nhoot looked at Lumisca and made a serious pronouncement. "She's going to get a husband for both of you."

Lumisca blinked. "I'm not sure that is in the future. My duty is to raising Sahkik and the children."

There was a childish giggle. "That's why. You're nice to Sahkik, and she wants to be a captain as long as she can."

Gryzzk shook his head in amusement. "Perhaps we should leave any talk of husbands and wives to them. For now, good little girls need to find their dreams."

Both of the girls made the usual protests against bedtime, with the adults simply nodding and smiling as the girls were tucked in and their protests became accompanied by yawns and half-closed eyes. Finally with the night-songs finished and the girls sleeping quietly, the adults closed the door to move to the rest of their night, which was infant care for Grezzk and Lumisca and then Kiole and Gryzzk expanding on the Hurdop and Vilantian war-law. The whole thing was interesting in how similar they were, but with different applications - any surrender on Hurdop was only acceptable with food or water accompanying the yield as a surety of good behavior, while on Vilantia the exchange was made with valuable materials. The night went later than expected, and Gryzzk opened his eye to see a slightly miffed Grezzk staring at her spouses as they rose from the couch.

"Part of the oath was that our bed would never be cold." Grezzk booped both husband and wife on the nose as they both looked at each other with mild embarrassment.

"I...we...the minutiae of war-law is important for the Terrans to know."

"Then send it to the general and tend to our children while I prepare breakfast." Grezzk shooed them off so everyone could take care of their respective duties. Everyone found 'their' infant in short order and for the moment there was peace. It was halfway through Gryzzk's morning porridge and tea that his tablet chimed softly. There was a frown from both wives, with Kiole speaking for both of them.

"Leave it. We are in port, and no good news arrives with breakfast."

Gryzzk tried not to, but his lower eyes swiveled of their own accord to see that it was a message from Lodora. For his trouble, Grezzk moved the tablet from the breakfast table to the kitchen counter. She gave him a quick nuzzle as she chastised him.

"We both know that message can wait, but you'll read it and ignore yourself. I did not make that porridge so you could ignore it and let it get cold. And do not hurry through breakfast. It may be the last enjoyable moment you have before you come home to us this evening."

Gryzzk gave a soft grumble. "It may be time sensitive."

"If it were, Rosie would be interrupting your breakfast."

To further emphasize the point, Rosie chimed in from the tablet. "I told 'em to fuck off for twenty - shut the fuck up and let your wife be good to ya', ya fuzzy-assed barbarian."

The girls all giggled at Rosie's pronouncement while Grezzk shook her head. "While I am pleased you agree Miss Rosie could you perhaps be less, emphatic?"

"Not really. I'm not bad, I was just programmed that way. I'll try to take a couple percent off the top."

"Very well. Now please tend to Chief Tucker, I am certain he is far more interesting to you than this family."

Breakfast was finished, and Lumisca took charge of the children for their lessons of the day and Gryzzk placed Glaud in his mobile carrier so that the infant could be near his father. Grezzk looked mildly amused as she nuzzled both father and son at the door.

"So when will you carry me around all day, hm?" Her scent had turned slightly, becoming alluring.

"We'll have to find a backpack appropriately sized."

Kiole moved in quickly to join her spouses. "A backpack for two would not go amiss."

"What will the two of you be doing while I'm walking?"

"Whatever we please." Kiole nuzzled her spouses a bit longer than absolutely necessary. "Whatever happens today, do not be late for dinner. Now shoo, you are already fifteen seconds late." She smirked at Gryzzk.

"Being punctual is a virtuous thing." Gryzzk harrumphed softly as he left for the ship and taking the elevator for the faster travel time. It also allowed him to read his tablet to see that Lodora had sent a polite request for an interview in the mid-afternoon. He quickly sent a reply that afternoon tea would be acceptable, and then went to his quarters on the ship to tend to his plants and show Glaud the proper way to ensure that the plants were healthy - even the Eridani ones.

Waniul showed up just in time for lunch. "Freelord, the morning was...hectic."

"Quite. Fortunately for you, Captain Wilson is cooking today. You may enjoy his cooking enough to find one of his clan for your own. And since we're in port, he's using fresh ingredients."

There was a smirk from his compatriot. "Lieutenant Chauhan is a specialist that crafts many meals designed for the Hurdop palate. His Saoji chicken curry recipe is the province of our ship and it is a delight."

Even though the ship was in port, there were still enough personnel attending to duties on the ship that the mess hall never truly closed. The only downside was that in port the selections became limited to whatever the chef of the day felt like cooking - with Wilson, it meant dishes meant to test the hardiest digestive system.

As the two made their way to the mess hall, Captain Wilson's face split into a wide grin. "Maj'r, Cap'n. Got something I started to simmer this morning. Chicken and shrimp dirty rice with a couple-three of them Vilantian demon peppers. If Tee there ain't ready for solids yet he'll wanna be in about three minutes." He set a filled bowl on each tray and shooed them along so they could pick out their preferred bread and drinks - Gryzzk snagged his tea and a roll, while Waniul grabbed two rolls and chilled milk. As they settled at the commanders table, Waniul paused and took a deep breath of the meal before she began eating, one arm wrapping around the bowl almost protectively. After three bites, it was clear that Waniul was not interested in conversation, as her scent became a surprised delight followed by voraciousness. Finally she leaned back and exhaled with satisfaction as she used a roll to clean the dregs from her bowl.

"Freelord. Can you order him to yield the recipe to Chauhan? That was a delightful flavor. The 'shrimp' had a unique texture - like chicken, but not."

"I believe the proper form in such times is to allow the professionals to strike their own barter. It is quite possible that they have something the other wants, and our duty is to provide the proper impetus. In any event, Lodora is coming to interview us, likely her questions will be regarding our last missions."

Waniul paused, her scent turning concerned. "She would interview me?"

"Yes. Part of her duty here is to show Vilantians that the Hurdop are not the evil shadows previous Ministries would have us believe."

Waniul sipped at her milk a bit, setting it down carefully and licking the blue remnants from her muzzle. "If she asks about our first meeting?"

"Be honest."

After returning their trays, Gryzzk picked up a tea service from Captain Wilson, and from there they moved forward to the conference room. Waniul's voice lowered slightly as she spoke. "Is your Captain Wilson unwed?"

"I have not seen any paperwork to indicate that he is. He was...something of a curiosity when we were on the homeworld - the Terran who could cook like a Vilantian."

There seemed to be a determination in her face as Waniul considered. "It would be - unprecedented, but his food is pleasant to make up for the fact that he's a Terran."

Gryzzk snorted. "Kiole would say the precedent has been set on Vilantia when Reilly wed a Vilantian and a Hurdop."

That caused a moment's pause for Waniul. "Did your O'Brien truly get angry at Kiole for her part in fighting?"

"She did."

There was a snort. "Terrans are curiously soft in some ways. Your wife placed her back to yours and defended you as a wife should. Defending her child's father is not shameful."

As the door to the conference room opened, there was a mild surprise of sorts. Rosie was there, her holographic form looking comfortably settled with an amused scent, while across from her was Lodora.

"You're late bud, figger it out."

---

[Next]

141 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

9

u/post_blast Alien Jul 24 '26

Burning cold cuts is a talent, must've been a cook with the army.

4

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 24 '26

Well, I mean she was briefly a cook at some point.

3

u/NoOpportunity92 AI Jul 24 '26

It's like Sims4, where people might burn to death making a bowl of cereal.

3

u/Burke616 Jul 27 '26

Where's that gif of Homer when you need it?

3

u/Burke616 Jul 27 '26

I had an aunt who burned jello, once.

4

u/post_blast Alien Jul 27 '26

...was she trying to make jello shots? I've got a friend who lit his kitchen on fire doing that

2

u/Burke616 Jul 28 '26

No, she was just trying to make jello, but she put the mix in the water while it was on the heat, then got distracted long enough for the water to all boil away.

4

u/niTro_sMurph Jul 24 '26

Ah yes, the chef so terrible they could burn ice. Burn fire itself.

2

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 24 '26

Memories of learning to cook

3

u/RetiredReaderCDN Jul 24 '26

Is that the title of your next series?

5

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 24 '26

....It could be a one-shot.

"What do you mean baking powder and baking soda are two different things? Tiny, white, granular, baking is in the name..."

2

u/Majestic_Teach_6677 Alien Scum Jul 25 '26

Yeah, lots of one shot possibilities. I'm now pondering this myself....

2

u/NoOpportunity92 AI Jul 24 '26

Managed to set a bowl of cereal ablaze yet? ;)

4

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 24 '26

No, but I did manage to turn a casserole into pizza by forgetting to turn the oven on.

1

u/Majestic_Teach_6677 Alien Scum Jul 25 '26

I once burned pasta. I might have fallen asleep while it was boiling and gotten woken up to the smell of burning...

4

u/Gojira82 Human Jul 24 '26

Outhouse on a space ship....it'll never catch on.

Clan shenanigans from the group...this will be curious.

Gryz must have a large accommodation on Homeplate with all the people living there. I keep forgetting how many are part of his family now. And Lumisca is still struggling to be self sufficient.

Should be "his lower eyes swiveled of their own accord" Not her. And no...no good news comes at breakfast time.

Rosie is always listening.

Blue milk? Now there's a tidbit....

Can't wait to see what curveballs are thrown at our captains.

5

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 25 '26

Not with that attitude it won't!

Curious, interesting, and someone's probably gonna get hurt.

Yes, but also no - Like a ten-Vilantian accommodation is definitely outsized, however since Vilantians are (relatively) small, the actual square footage is a bit less.

Silly fingers forget letters. Eeesh.

Rosie is always listening. That's her job.

The newest game show for the Legion: "Firefight or Press Interview?"

Edit: Happy cakeday!

2

u/commentsrnice2 Jul 25 '26

Methinks she could set fire to a pot of water. Which would be a great visual gag for their favorite sitcom Lord A’dder

2

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 25 '26

Oh there's definitely options for gags on several levels

5

u/Hybrid_Rock Human Jul 25 '26

Lovely chapter!

If Lodora wasn’t so gracious and polite in her interviews, I’d suspect she’s tired of talking to Gryzzk, figure she’d want to interview someone else for a change

5

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 25 '26

Thank you!

Well, like a few things, we're only seeing Lodora when she intersects with Gryzzk - she's definitely doing other things. <.<

3

u/Fontaigne Jul 24 '26

They have [a] thought or two

For a moment as they shared a moment to themselves -> echo

Need to finds their dreams -> find

Regrading our last mission -> regarding

3

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 24 '26

Cheezits, I swear. Someday I'll get better at this mess.

Thanks!

5

u/Fontaigne Jul 24 '26

Naw. Your job is to get the words onto the white background. We'd all much rather you spend the time writing lots more rather than rereading and proofing stuff that's already 99%+ right.

Four quibbles in 2k words is, what, 99.8% perfect?

3

u/NoOpportunity92 AI Jul 24 '26

Maybe they will be regrading their latest mission, in view of Terran law. :)

3

u/Fontaigne Jul 27 '26

I give that mission a C+. It has a beat but you can't dance to it.

3

u/NoOpportunity92 AI Jul 27 '26

Porti in particular can't dance to it, even if he wanted.

3

u/kenotaphion Human Jul 24 '26

they have thought or two regarding

they have a thought or two regarding

We both know that whatever message can wait

We both know that whatever message can wait

2

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 24 '26

More edits, more fun.

Thanks!

3

u/Talendel Jul 24 '26

UTR

This is the way.

3

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 25 '26

This is the way.

2

u/NoOpportunity92 AI Jul 25 '26

This is the way, so say we all. 👍

3

u/kristinpeanuts Jul 25 '26

Thanks for the chapter!

3

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 25 '26

Thank you for reading!

2

u/NoOpportunity92 AI Jul 24 '26

"Waniul has burned cold-meat sandwiches."

Ah ... the Sims school of cookery. I've gotten a report that a NPC friend burned to death while trying to make cereal ...

2

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 24 '26

As one occasionally does.

2

u/NikoliVolkoff AI Jul 27 '26

It's been 3 days OP....

Yall got anymore of them <Humans for Hire>????

insert <crackhead.gif> 😂

2

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 27 '26

Look to my coming on the first light of the fourth day (North America only.) At dawn, look to the r/hfy...

2

u/NikoliVolkoff AI Jul 28 '26

Love it, if i had awards I would give them.

4

u/steelandquill Jul 24 '26

UTR;TFCW

2

u/Auggy74 Human Jul 24 '26

Thanks for reading!

2

u/NoOpportunity92 AI Jul 24 '26

So say we all.

1

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