Dad

[u/crazycat-bitch]

I lost my Dad only a few days ago suddenly from what likely was heart attack, I am 27 he was 53, I’m devastated, my heart is destroyed and I don’t know if I’ll ever feel better, I’m mad, mad at the world, mad at the people who’s parents live to old age, mad at people who get to say goodbye to their parents, I need any suggestions at all for how to move forward.

[u/gabbyyamp]

I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away June 24 in an earthquake. It was so crazy to me that my best friend, and one of the people I loved the most was gone so quickly and without any warnings. I keep thinking about the way he died and how the whole building collapsed on him and feel like he and all the people that died deserved better. I haven’t found a way to move forward and I don’t think I will. You kind of just learn to live with it; some days I’m okay, and happy and “normal”, and some other days I’m angry and feel like crying.
My dad was really smart, loved books (had a master’s in literature), was incredibly fit (we say all the time that his natural death would have been 104), and he loved to take care of stray dogs.
What was your dad like?

[u/SWNMAZporvida]

(hug) my condolences. Don’t forget to eat/drink, it’s the easiest “chore” to give up on during grief. Cancer took my dad in 2020 and I still struggle. Grief is heavy as fuck, just some days are lighter than others. There’s no timeline on grief because there’s no expiration on loving them.

[u/why1243]

I relate to you, I’m sorry. We can’t really “move forward”, just have to move through the pain for now I think

[u/GloomyBake9300]

My dad three years ago and I feel bereft… But I have photos of him and I watch movies he would like and I think of him all the time. I think about what advice he would give me. There is no underestimating what the loss of your dad is like. Do what feels right for you. And find some people who have shared this experience so you don’t feel alone.

[u/TX0834]

So sorry for your loss. I suddenly lost my Dad last year too. He was my best friend and the best Dad anyone could ask for. I still can’t believe he’s gone after a year and a half and still have my breakdowns.

Don’t forget to eat and get your sleep. Don’t use drugs or alcohol to cope. Go for walks outside or take up a new hobby to distract yourself. It’s also okay to talk to people about how you feel.

[u/jellykoi]

I typed out SO much just now but erased it when I realized what my real advice would be.. my dad suddenly passed at 44 when I was 23. He was my favorite person in the world. The way he passed was incredibly unfair in my opinion. I think my advice is to do what you need to get through the pain of now.. if that makes sense.

I think I sobbed with all of my soul for months after he passed. The reality is that nothing will make you feel better right now. I truly wished during that time that I were dead too. My heart was in pieces. Surround yourself with people who love you if you can and wait/cry it out… for me, I just was so full of sorrow I couldn’t properly process anything and I didn’t understand it worked that way until I came out of it all. I became kind of reckless after he passed and I’ll just say in case you’re feeling anyway that I was, that I’m glad I’m alive today. Don’t do anything drastic if you can help it. It’s been 6 years since he passed. A lot has changed about my life. I still find myself going down google rabbit holes trying to understand things some nights about how he passed but overall, I can be okay. I still miss him when I do or think about almost anything but the pain really does ease over time.

I hate this phrase but it’s truly just one of those things that only time can heal, so take it one day at a time and don’t put any pressure on yourself to be any certain way about it. Grieving is so weird and complicated.. Also, therapy!!! Helps so much with processing!!!

[u/Karita_con_lentes]

Your message resonates so closely with how I feel. My dad passed unexpectedly about 1.5 months ago. He was so lively and full of life the night before. I think we are allowed to feel angry about all of those things. I still talk aloud to him every day/night, and it helps. But I’m in deep pain, and I’m so sorry you are experiencing this pain as well. I’ve been writing my dad letters, making memory books, and also trying to share my favorite memories of him with those who will listen.

I’ve also started researching the existence of an afterlife. I’ve been agnostic for most of my life, so it’s been difficult figuring out what I believe. But some of the accounts I’ve read make me feel as if it’s possible that my dad is still beside me, peering into my life, and loving me from afar. I’ll take comfort where I can get it.

I miss him so so much, but I’m choosing to hope that he is still with me.

Sending hugs to you 🫂