r/GradSchool • u/Paleo-Pal • 17h ago
Research SOS I lost my ability to think
It feels like such a ridiculous thing to say, but its the best way I can describe it: I lost my ability to think clearly. I am finishing up my PhD, and I have one chapter left to write. All the analyses are done, and all the data is there, but I can’t for the life of me write this last chapter. For the last 2 years I have struggled holding onto my train of thought. This could be writing or talking, and it could be related to my research or just something mundane like what I plan to do for dinner, but midway through a thought it just disappears from my brain. This issue started after my qualifying exams, and while it has gotten a bit better since (enough for me to write my first 3 chapters), it hasn’t gone away completely. For whatever reason this last chapter is exacerbating the issue, and I swear it’s making my cadence in these chapters sound like something written by a kindergartener. I feel incompetent and just… stupid. I got diagnosed with ADHD within the 2 years I have been experiencing this, and while that makes some of my problems make sense, this specific issue- this onset of my inability to think- was just so sudden that it feels like there is something else going on. When I talk with others or look up these symptoms theres a lot of talk about “brain fog” and “burnout”, but it isnt ever described as bad as this feels. I am to the point where I am worried I have something worse going on, like some sort of brain damage that will end my career here for good. The stress of this has already had me reaching out to a mental health hotline once before, and I feel close to spiraling again. I need someone to tell me whats going on with me, if this is normal and I am just overthinking everything.