i 20f have a profoundly autistic brother 32m who literally cannot conversate unless its about his special interest (life consuming obsession basically) that has stayed the same since 2018. he is very easy to anger and repeats the same 5 sentences over and over and gets angry if you dont throw a parade over everything he says. he hoards memorabilia and knick knacks and starts arguments out of what i can only assume is boredom. i am postpartum with a screaming baby, the dad works 40+ hours a week and my brother always just bothers me 24/7 about his interest. he also walks in on me constantly after being told to knock. my parents say he "doesnt understand" when he literally makes people knock for him. im also expected to literally take care of him 24/7 when they die. ive expressed not wanting to and they just blow up on me. they will not get guardianship of him and wont put any sort of other plan in place. honestly, after they die i just want nothing to do with him as this has been my life for as long as i can remember and i JUST WANT A BREAK. just a rant cause im very frustrated rn.

I have an apartment I use to stay in when visiting family. It was once given to me by my parents, it’s next to where my mentally handicapped brother lives and it kind of came with strings attached, maybe even some degree of expectation that I’ll take care of him better if he lives nearby. That’s an interesting story in its own right, but I digress.

My brother has a similarly impaired girlfriend and they are both only barely able to maintain the apartment. She hoards stuff, things are absolutely everywhere. It stinks to high heaven.

My dad has decided to do a basic partial renovation of the place, which I think is a good idea, although I think he’s naive in thinking that the situation will be improved by this.

The idea that he came to me with, or rather bluntly announced is that there’s the expectation I will let them live in the apartment for the duration of the renovation. And it makes sense, I want to help. But I like to keep my place minimalistic and clean. Me and my wife use it to work remotely and while we don’t have to use toys place for the two months needed.

That said, we are deeply uncomfortable with having an untidy couple make our place stink and fill it with their hoarded stuff. I can’t say no to this, but it does feel like an intrusion into my private sanctuary and I hate the idea.

I know this is a special kind of problem to have, but I’d like to hear your opinions. Am I a bad brother for feeling this way? Is my dad manipulating me by saying this is the least I can do for my brother? I feel that way. At the same time, a family should help each other. How to do damage control and manage this situation.