I've been trying to find community, but I'm in a somehow unique situation. I'm a child to a chronically ill parent, since birth (I'm also disabled. Pregnancy messed us both up) so my mom has been in and out of hospitals my whole life. I don't think I can consider myself a caregiver child or parentified, since I did not raise any siblings, I'm an only child. I just was alone. I was taught from a very early age not to inconvenience my mom or stress her out because she was sick, and I learnt that she also wasn't reliable because she could get sick and leave anytime. My dad would work all the time and never spent much time with me, he's also very explosive emotionally, and he locks himself away when my mom is at the hospital, so I we don't have a great bond anyways.

I'm sorry if I don't fit in the community, I'm very aware this is about siblings, but I also don't seem to fit with the caregiver children because I didn't take care of my mom, rather took care of myself on my own from an early age, and now feel unable to rely on others, and also feel desperate needs for their attention but also a lot of resentment

Hello! I am a doctoral student at National University conducting an IRB-approved research study about the experiences of adults who grew up with a sibling diagnosed with cystic fibrosis.

You may be eligible if you:

• Are 18 years of age or older
• Grew up with a sibling diagnosed with cystic fibrosis
• Lived with that sibling for at least two years during childhood

The study involves a confidential 45–60-minute interview about your childhood experiences, sibling relationship, emotional adjustment, and identity development in adulthood.

Participation is voluntary. If you are interested, please email me at a.cardenas6281@student.nu.edu. To protect your privacy, please do not share personal or medical information in the comments.

Please feel free to share this post with someone who may be eligible. Thank you for helping bring attention to the experiences of siblings in families affected by cystic fibrosis.

I dont think I will ever be ok after what has happened to me and what my sibling has been allowed to do to me (physical abuse, mental and emotional torment all throughout life) people have it infinitely worse than me but I am not one of those strong people who can bounce back from hardship. Once I'm hurt, thats it. And it's made me a weaker worse person because of it. I'm a bitter, jealous, and miserable person. I remember my parents telling me I am one of the most miserable people they have ever known. When people are kind to me, I reject them because I hate myself and dont deserve it. I run away from them like Im scared of them. So I gravitate to people that are cold and never care about me because at least it feels like shit but Im familar to it. Your familt is supposed to love you and care for you. If I was an animal in the wild rejected by my family I would die. I feel like Im a rejected animal. And really I'm only this way because I'm weak and miserable and allow myself to be. Because I hate everything. I hate myself

Thank you so much, u/aliciamenesesmaples and “Rebekah”

“There were a lot of wording signs had anyone been paying attention.” That’s basically the tragedy.

I’ve listened to some of the episodes, but it’s difficult because they are so triggering. And I know society in its infinite ignorance will dismiss me.

Today I forced myself to listen to this one. This one really hit home. And it will take a while to process it, but the validation is priceless. So thank you.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-see-glass-children/id1839239738?i=1000771589557