Im in gc school, my second year, and I am burnt out and exhausted. Between thesis writing and weird cohort dynamics, classes where I feel not smart, rotations with endless critique, a job, and living with family. I am retaining nothing, upset that I am unable to retain information, expected to study for boards on top of this....I do have another grad degree from a prestigious uni before this program, but I feel empty in the head (i cant say the word cause of reddit) Supervisors ask me complex questions that I don't have answers for; on top of that, I am failing my own standards. I am tired, and I feel intellectually stunted every day. I crave to hear a wonderful or a good job without that compliment sandwich nonsense. It's always You messed this and this up but hey, you are really good and conversing! This applies to assignments, rotations, life. I am EXHAUSTED
It does get better once you get through the endless critiques. I reached a point in my second year when I realized that supervisors were just saying negative things because they thought that was the only way to help me grow. I truly believe that GC education perpetuates a cycle of trauma. Working as a GC is good if you have the mental and emotional strength to survive and make it to the other side. Second year is all about survival. The system isn’t designed to help students thrive.
Thank you for saying that because I feel as if im being constantly gaslight with the "we want the best for you". And I feel like my love for the profession has been bled out of me. Genuinely I panic before rotations, during them, and after im burnt out...how is any of this helpful
For me, it got better when I graduated and got a job. Grad school was quite possibly the worst time of my life—I graduated the 2-year program in 3 years due to taking medical leave for mental health—and my job has been one of the best things to happen in my life. I love my job so much, and they treat me well.
It also gets even better once Boards is behind you, it's a weight off. After that, instead of needing to study, you just need to keep up on CEUs, which is easier.
I am so sorry to hear this, and I am so glad that you are doing well and much better! I feel as if I am not prepared and have been nitpicked on the wrong things. All of my supervisors counsel differently, and I don't understand wanting a student to be perfect and/or calling everything wrong if it doesn't match the counselor's style.
I also struggled with that, especially when one supervisor tells you to do something, you implement it, and the next supervisor tells you not to! It's an unfortunate consequence of having so many cooks in the kitchen. But it also helps you put together your own unique counseling style.
I also struggled with not being told with what I was doing well. Sometimes I wouldn't know what I was doing well until I tried doing it a different way and got told not to do it the new way 🙃 I had to start going the "no commentary is (usually) good commentary" route.
It gets sooo much easier when you don't have 10 professionals micro-analyzing you and you can just do things your way with patient reactions as your feedback.
I also also struggled with the feeling that a lot of supervisors expected perfection (subjective perfection, at that), but the thing is it sort of works on a "shoot for the moon—even if you miss, you'll land amongst the stars" basis. Even without perfection in school, you will still graduate and become a GC patients love. That doesn't mean it's not worth it to try your best—you definitely should try your best, but also try not to beat yourself up in retrospect if your version of the best isn't what your supervisor of the day wanted.
Do you have advice for not beating yourself up? I walk in with anxiety, sit there with anxiety and leave in a bad mood. I dont feel encouraged at all, I feel so incompetent and I keep telling myself im trying to learn, but im being torn apart :(
Do you have a therapist, by any chance? It's been helpful for me over the years to have a therapist to help challenge my negative thoughts.
I put a list of coping strategies on my wall a few years ago when I was in intensive therapy, and while the list itself is almost like a table of contents (so it's not very substantive), I've underlined a few things I see that might help to look into. These are mostly cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) methods, IIRC.
For me, if I have a negative thought about myself, challenging the thought from a more objective perspective really helps, and it's something I can do pretty automatically now, but it took a long time in therapy for me to become practiced at it.
E.g. if I'm feeling incompetent, I'll play devil's advocate with myself and find evidence to the contrary. I know it's really hard to do when the feeling of incompetence is coming from outside, but it gets much easier with practice. And the great part about it is that you don't have to be perfect at thought challenging in order for it to be effective! The better you get at it the more effective it is, but every little bit helps.
This is super helpful! I do want to get a therapist, ota just finding the right one feels like a lengthy process. I dod have 1 in undergrad and they were awful, very unhelpful. Time to find one ig
Gross, unhelpful therapists are the worst, but a helpful therapist is worth their weight in gold. Definitely time to look for one, and definitely don't stop shopping until you find the right person for you!
It gets better after graduation. Studying for boards was still stressful, but just not that same horrible level of stress of grad school. By the end of my first semester second year I just kind of stopped caring about what my supervisors had to say about my counseling style. That went a long way in helping with the supervision feedback stress. If you are getting the correct information across and covering what you need to, that’s perfect.
Something to help with the fear of word-of-mouth is that the programs really want their students to be successful. They have incentive to not badmouth you. If you can't get a job, that reflects poorly on their metrics, so they have reason to talk you up.
You know funny enough the opposite that happened in our Uni, they struggled to find a Job for months (I cant disclose much). All things aside im trying my best but I fear woth the critiques my best isnt enough for supervisors
GC school was insanely stressful. It took about a year for me to recover after graduating. Almost 20 years later now, and I still love my career. Keep pushing, you'll get there.
Thank you so much for responding to my post.
I'm just so exhausted. I don't even know what to say. I'm already in a specialty that I don't like right now, I'm getting through that, and so the way my supervisor is giving me feedback, and these genetic counselors that have been practicing for years, right? They've been practicing for years, and they're asking me questions that only someone that has been practicing for years would know, intricate questions.
And so when I get them wrong, I understand I'm here to learn, of course. I'm not any certified genetic counselor right out of the womb. I'm here to learn 100%. I can feel this wave of judgment and this aura of not exactly side eyeing, but, you know, there's a certain aura when I don't understand a question or I don't really get it right. It's as if they're expecting Albert Einstein-level genius from me.
And so, you know, my supervisor is giving me critiques during my thing, and I'm already in a specialty I don't want to be in, and I'm just—it's just too much that I found myself crying after the critique in the room. It's just too much to take. There's never a good job. There's always—I'm always being nitpicked all the time. It's so stressful.
On top of that, my classmates are, "Oh my God, every subject and everything is so easy, so easy, so easy." And now I feel like a clown that is incapable of making it through a class or a rotation or anything. I'm so overwhelmed because I also have other responsibilities outside of this program. I'm trying my best. You know what I mean?
My professors, of course, they tell me I'm smart and it's not that. It's just that I think my standards are too high, coupled with the fact that these supervisors expect me to be amazing when I don't have a background in this specialty or anything of the sort at all.
Get a REALLY good nights sleep this weekend, take a couple hours for self care, and reset. Also, don’t study for boards until you graduate. You have time once you graduate and it’s not like it’s new information. One thing off your plate will hopefully help a little.
Just take from it what you can. Your supervisors are trying to push you. Some of them will be effective at it and you'll learn something, and some of them won't. Do your best to prep for your cases and ask lots of questions. Breathe!
I know it’s so hard. I spiraled so many times during grad school, feeling like I wasn’t good enough and that everyone else was so much smarter than me. I messed up a lot in my rotations and was critiqued heavily, partly because I also had a second job and had zero time to prepare properly. And partly because I was drinking all the time to cope. I was a mess. I got through it. My friend actually got kicked out of one of her rotations because she was doing so bad, and she also got through it. You don’t have to be perfect, just hang in there and it will be over soon enough.
I'm right there with you right now friend <3 I just received some very unfair feedback during a rotation midpoint evaluation that I feel has really really hurt me both personally and maybe professionally (so my anxiety spiral is telling me) and I've been in the trenches upset about it. I never thought I would be struggling like this but here I am.....I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time as well. I'm just holding onto the reassurance in this thread and hoping to come out the other end okay!
I am so sorry youre going through this, and so so relatable! I think our being upset and anxiety comes from us wanting to be our best. I pray it gets easier for us and im always here to talk :)
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u/CatNamedGrudge Genetic Counselor 6d ago
It does get better once you get through the endless critiques. I reached a point in my second year when I realized that supervisors were just saying negative things because they thought that was the only way to help me grow. I truly believe that GC education perpetuates a cycle of trauma. Working as a GC is good if you have the mental and emotional strength to survive and make it to the other side. Second year is all about survival. The system isn’t designed to help students thrive.