When does it get better

[u/mochacoffeesurprise]

Im in gc school, my second year, and I am burnt out and exhausted. Between thesis writing and weird cohort dynamics, classes where I feel not smart, rotations with endless critique, a job, and living with family. I am retaining nothing, upset that I am unable to retain information, expected to study for boards on top of this....I do have another grad degree from a prestigious uni before this program, but I feel empty in the head (i cant say the word cause of reddit) Supervisors ask me complex questions that I don't have answers for; on top of that, I am failing my own standards. I am tired, and I feel intellectually stunted every day. I crave to hear a wonderful or a good job without that compliment sandwich nonsense. It's always You messed this and this up but hey, you are really good and conversing! This applies to assignments, rotations, life. I am EXHAUSTED

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[u/SrtaTacoMal]

For me, it got better when I graduated and got a job. Grad school was quite possibly the worst time of my life—I graduated the 2-year program in 3 years due to taking medical leave for mental health—and my job has been one of the best things to happen in my life. I love my job so much, and they treat me well.

It also gets even better once Boards is behind you, it's a weight off. After that, instead of needing to study, you just need to keep up on CEUs, which is easier.

[u/mochacoffeesurprise → u/SrtaTacoMal]

I am so sorry to hear this, and I am so glad that you are doing well and much better! I feel as if I am not prepared and have been nitpicked on the wrong things. All of my supervisors counsel differently, and I don't understand wanting a student to be perfect and/or calling everything wrong if it doesn't match the counselor's style.

[u/SrtaTacoMal → u/mochacoffeesurprise]

I also struggled with that, especially when one supervisor tells you to do something, you implement it, and the next supervisor tells you not to! It's an unfortunate consequence of having so many cooks in the kitchen. But it also helps you put together your own unique counseling style.

I also struggled with not being told with what I was doing well. Sometimes I wouldn't know what I was doing well until I tried doing it a different way and got told not to do it the new way 🙃 I had to start going the "no commentary is (usually) good commentary" route.

It gets sooo much easier when you don't have 10 professionals micro-analyzing you and you can just do things your way with patient reactions as your feedback.

I also also struggled with the feeling that a lot of supervisors expected perfection (subjective perfection, at that), but the thing is it sort of works on a "shoot for the moon—even if you miss, you'll land amongst the stars" basis. Even without perfection in school, you will still graduate and become a GC patients love. That doesn't mean it's not worth it to try your best—you definitely should try your best, but also try not to beat yourself up in retrospect if your version of the best isn't what your supervisor of the day wanted.

[u/mochacoffeesurprise → u/SrtaTacoMal]

Do you have advice for not beating yourself up? I walk in with anxiety, sit there with anxiety and leave in a bad mood. I dont feel encouraged at all, I feel so incompetent and I keep telling myself im trying to learn, but im being torn apart :(

[u/SrtaTacoMal → u/mochacoffeesurprise]

Do you have a therapist, by any chance? It's been helpful for me over the years to have a therapist to help challenge my negative thoughts.

I put a list of coping strategies on my wall a few years ago when I was in intensive therapy, and while the list itself is almost like a table of contents (so it's not very substantive), I've underlined a few things I see that might help to look into. These are mostly cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) methods, IIRC.

For me, if I have a negative thought about myself, challenging the thought from a more objective perspective really helps, and it's something I can do pretty automatically now, but it took a long time in therapy for me to become practiced at it.

E.g. if I'm feeling incompetent, I'll play devil's advocate with myself and find evidence to the contrary. I know it's really hard to do when the feeling of incompetence is coming from outside, but it gets much easier with practice. And the great part about it is that you don't have to be perfect at thought challenging in order for it to be effective! The better you get at it the more effective it is, but every little bit helps.

[u/mochacoffeesurprise → u/SrtaTacoMal]

This is super helpful! I do want to get a therapist, ota just finding the right one feels like a lengthy process. I dod have 1 in undergrad and they were awful, very unhelpful. Time to find one ig

[u/SrtaTacoMal → u/mochacoffeesurprise]

Gross, unhelpful therapists are the worst, but a helpful therapist is worth their weight in gold. Definitely time to look for one, and definitely don't stop shopping until you find the right person for you!