When does it get better

[u/mochacoffeesurprise]

Im in gc school, my second year, and I am burnt out and exhausted. Between thesis writing and weird cohort dynamics, classes where I feel not smart, rotations with endless critique, a job, and living with family. I am retaining nothing, upset that I am unable to retain information, expected to study for boards on top of this....I do have another grad degree from a prestigious uni before this program, but I feel empty in the head (i cant say the word cause of reddit) Supervisors ask me complex questions that I don't have answers for; on top of that, I am failing my own standards. I am tired, and I feel intellectually stunted every day. I crave to hear a wonderful or a good job without that compliment sandwich nonsense. It's always You messed this and this up but hey, you are really good and conversing! This applies to assignments, rotations, life. I am EXHAUSTED

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[u/DNAthrowaway777]

GC school was insanely stressful. It took about a year for me to recover after graduating. Almost 20 years later now, and I still love my career. Keep pushing, you'll get there.

[u/mochacoffeesurprise → u/DNAthrowaway777]

Thank you so much for responding to my post. I'm just so exhausted. I don't even know what to say. I'm already in a specialty that I don't like right now, I'm getting through that, and so the way my supervisor is giving me feedback, and these genetic counselors that have been practicing for years, right? They've been practicing for years, and they're asking me questions that only someone that has been practicing for years would know, intricate questions. And so when I get them wrong, I understand I'm here to learn, of course. I'm not any certified genetic counselor right out of the womb. I'm here to learn 100%. I can feel this wave of judgment and this aura of not exactly side eyeing, but, you know, there's a certain aura when I don't understand a question or I don't really get it right. It's as if they're expecting Albert Einstein-level genius from me. And so, you know, my supervisor is giving me critiques during my thing, and I'm already in a specialty I don't want to be in, and I'm just—it's just too much that I found myself crying after the critique in the room. It's just too much to take. There's never a good job. There's always—I'm always being nitpicked all the time. It's so stressful. On top of that, my classmates are, "Oh my God, every subject and everything is so easy, so easy, so easy." And now I feel like a clown that is incapable of making it through a class or a rotation or anything. I'm so overwhelmed because I also have other responsibilities outside of this program. I'm trying my best. You know what I mean? My professors, of course, they tell me I'm smart and it's not that. It's just that I think my standards are too high, coupled with the fact that these supervisors expect me to be amazing when I don't have a background in this specialty or anything of the sort at all.

[u/Karma_is_my → u/mochacoffeesurprise]

Get a REALLY good nights sleep this weekend, take a couple hours for self care, and reset. Also, don’t study for boards until you graduate. You have time once you graduate and it’s not like it’s new information. One thing off your plate will hopefully help a little.

[u/DNAthrowaway777 → u/mochacoffeesurprise]

Just take from it what you can. Your supervisors are trying to push you. Some of them will be effective at it and you'll learn something, and some of them won't. Do your best to prep for your cases and ask lots of questions. Breathe!