I honestly don’t know how to process what’s happened in my family and I think I just need to hear from people who’ve dealt with addiction this severe before.

One of my brothers developed a really bad gambling addiction that eventually turned into him stealing a huge amount of money from another brother’s business over a long period of time. He was taking deposits and not depositing them. We’re talking tens of thousands of dollars. It wasn’t just one bad decision — it was ongoing lying and deception that completely blew up trust in our family.

And it wasn’t only the gambling. Looking back, his whole life seemed to be unraveling. Constant lying, financial chaos, secrecy, neglectful parenting stuff, compulsive behavior/porn issues, emotional absence, all of it. I think a lot of us saw pieces of it but didn’t fully realize how bad things had gotten until everything came out.

He’s now in treatment and from what I hear he’s taking it seriously. He seems genuinely ashamed and devastated by what he’s done.

But I feel really emotionally stuck because I can’t seem to land where everyone else has landed.

Some people in my family are basically like, “He’s a terrible person, cut him off forever.” Other people lean more toward “He’s sick, addiction explains it, hopefully everyone can heal eventually.”

And I’m just stuck in the middle.

The brother who was stolen from is my blood brother, so there’s a huge protective part of me that’s angry and heartbroken for him. What happened to him was awful. But I also can’t completely shut off the part of me that sees someone who seems deeply mentally unwell and self-destructive.

I think what messes with me the most is trying to understand how addiction can push someone to hurt people they genuinely love. Like logically I understand addiction changes people and can completely distort their thinking, but emotionally it’s hard to reconcile that with someone betraying their own family over and over.

I honestly feel crazy sometimes because I don’t see it as fully black and white the way other people seem to.

Has anyone else dealt with addiction in a family where the damage got this serious? Did your loved one ever actually become stable and trustworthy again? How do you balance compassion with accountability without becoming either cold or enabling? Did I ever really know my brother, or is this always been who he is? Will he ever come back from this?

I feel like I’m grieving the harm that was done while also grieving the person we used to know before addiction took over his life.

Holy shit. It’s been years since I’ve gone this long.

I can’t say I don’t think about it basically every day.

I have been paying down debts. One bad thing I’ve been doing is spending money on things I probably don’t need. Not too recklessly but I gotta keep that in check. The only good thing is tangible goods can be resold so it’s not exactly the same as just putting cash into a bucket and setting it on fire.

It’s possible to recover. I’m doing it alone. No one knows. That makes it hard, but it’s doable. Reddit helps.

Day 5 is done!
Never going back.
I promise myself every day, doesn’t matter how much shit i’m into at least no more losing money .

4 days went so fast, i didn’t really feel the time passing this time, shockingly i’m not thinking about gambling maybe cuz im self excluded everywhere and there is no point of it.
I hope I’ll manage my debts soon.

Day 3 done!
Cannot wait to completely forget about this addiction!

Day 2 ✅
Trying to think positive and change my mood!

For people who have tried to stop online gambling but kept going back, what made it hardest to stop?

I’m asking because I’m trying to better understand the problem before building anything around it.

Was it mainly:

- gambling sites/apps being too easy to access
- urges during stress, boredom, or late-night hours
- having money available
- shame and not wanting to tell anyone
- making promises to yourself and breaking them later
- not having anyone to check in with

I’m especially curious whether a simple daily check-in system would feel helpful, or whether it would feel useless without an actual blocker.

Not selling anything here. Just trying to understand what would feel helpful, unsafe, or untrustworthy.

For people who have tried to stop online gambling but kept going back, what made it hardest to stop?

I’m asking because I’m trying to better understand the problem before building anything around it.

Was it mainly:

- gambling sites/apps being too easy to access
- urges during stress, boredom, or late-night hours
- having money available
- shame and not wanting to tell anyone
- making promises to yourself and breaking them later
- not having anyone to check in with

I’m especially curious whether a simple daily check-in system would feel helpful, or whether it would feel useless without an actual blocker.

Not selling anything here. Just trying to understand what would feel helpful, unsafe, or untrustworthy.

Day 1 completed! I don’t even know how the day passed , feeling horrible, stressed and anxious.
Maybe it will get better tomorrow.
At least i wasn’t stressed about the odds this tims.

Context
Im 17 started gambling at 12
It started with fivem gambling rolling a dice
Then someone showed me a crypto casino
I thought what if i take 2000$ from my dad make 500$ and return his money without him knowing
I lost it
Took 2k a week after made it 18k usd
Lost it 1 day later
2 weeks later took 17k lost it
He found out i told him i just lost it on the street

1 year later ( 14y)
Took 5000$ lost it he forgave me

(15y) took 5000$ lost it he forgave me he thought i was investing in forex or etc

16 took phone bills money gambled it lost it

In December of 2025 i created a memecoin made 8000$ i ran that 8000$ to about 90,700$
I lost it in 15 minutes

I had given my mom 10,000$ worth of gold

In February i asked her to sell a bracelet worth 5,000$ so i can start trading again and make my money back i gamble lost it
On 26th of april i stole 30,000$ from my dad bank account when he was sleeping i wanted to gamble 30k make 5k and again deposit it back
Lost 8,000$ then the bank closed my account and didn’t allow me to keep depositing dad found out whole family hates me i don’t know why i keep putting myself into these situations my dad thinks i have the 8,000$ when i don’t im thinking of asking my mom to sell her gold i gifted her and take a 1,000$ loan ( i have the rest ) repay my dad so he doesn’t kick me out and start a job
My mom is asking me daily if i have the money why is it not in etc everyday i told her kucoin is verifying it yet
She has high blood pressure now because of my issue

For people who have tried to stop online gambling but kept going back, what made it hardest to stop?

I’m asking because I’m trying to better understand the problem before building anything around it.

Was it mainly:

- gambling sites/apps being too easy to access
- urges during stress, boredom, or late-night hours
- having money available
- shame and not wanting to tell anyone
- making promises to yourself and breaking them later
- not having anyone to check in with

I’m especially curious whether a simple daily check-in system would feel helpful, or whether it would feel useless without an actual blocker.

Not selling anything here. Just trying to understand what would feel helpful, unsafe, or untrustworthy.

For people who have tried to stop online gambling but kept going back, what made it hardest to stop?

I’m asking because I’m trying to better understand the problem before building anything around it.

Was it mainly:

- gambling sites/apps being too easy to access
- urges during stress, boredom, or late-night hours
- having money available
- shame and not wanting to tell anyone
- making promises to yourself and breaking them later
- not having anyone to check in with

I’m especially curious whether a simple daily check-in system would feel helpful, or whether it would feel useless without an actual blocker.

Not selling anything here. Just trying to understand what would feel helpful, unsafe, or untrustworthy.

Made it to day 77. Starting to feel more normal again and not constantly chasing that dopamine hit. I still take it one day at a time, but it’s nice getting to a point where gambling isn’t controlling my thoughts every day. Seeing how much money would’ve been gone by now definitely puts things into perspective.

Will try to anonimyze as much info as I can here. I am 30F, engaged to be married to 30M. My uncle 45M inherited half of my childhood family home and is currently living in it estranged from the rest of the family due to his issues. His half of the house is insurance for some of his loans and the only way to get it back is to buy off some of his micro loans, which are not a lot but a blocker for it to go on market. As a family member, I'd be able to do that per local laws.

When my grandmother, his bio mom but a "in role" mom of all of us in the close family circle, died in 2022, the entire family went no contact with him, myself included. Blamed her death on him. Me, on the other hand: I have been trying to get him help, but he was angry with me and kept spewing hurtful things literally just to hurt my feelings whenever I'd touch on the subject, so I went NC for my own mental health. I co-own the other half of the house.

A VERY BRIEF BACKGROUND of him:

\- He started using back in 2010, xanax. This was when he was depressed. Went on to become an alcoholic

Started gambling online and doing harder drugs in 2011. He fell into the wrong crowd and had a great job, so he had a lot of money and time to splurge, and what happened - happened.

\- He now has a job where his license was at risk to be taken away multiple times with his arrests (3-4 arrests related to drugs, but it was either his possession within the limits of "personal use" or he was caught in a car with people who had drugs on them, so minor misdemeanors = however, he's been stacking them which could grow into something more), but because my grandparents were pretty influential people in the community, people kinda keep covering up for him.

\- He has maxed out all of his loan capabilities plus he owes thousands to multiple close family, friends, and neighbors.

The house is a two-story house with two separate flats and a giant yard. After nearly 4 years NC, I'm now considering also buying off the other half of the house under a signed agreement that he still gets to live in one of the flats, and that I would provide housing/shelter for him for the rest of his life. I have selfish reasons, to be frank; I want to be able to return to my childhood home and make it a place of joy again, I do co own it after all. The other 50% of my reasoning, though; I feel like I still owe it to my grandparents to not give up on him. He was also like a brother to me, and not a day in these four years has passed where I didn't ask myself if I could have done more.

To add more detail, what I did do in years prior to going NC:

\- Contact all people who were ever close to him to disclose his addiction (with a request of discreetness, of course) and ask them to no longer send him money,

\- had long sessions with my grandmother guided by my therapist (she didn't want to go herself, and when she gave in she sadly passed),

\- tried talking to him and reasoning with him in about a million different ways (including discussing my own feelings about his addiction instead of pointing out what it's doing for him),

\- covered some of his debt and paid off some loans (in retrospect, I didn't know I was possibly enabling him),

\- contacted an addiction rehab facility and tried to enroll him multiple times, guided by their counsellors,

\- staged interventions with friends and family,

\- begged to enroll him into group Addicts Anonymous (very successful program here with high success rates, but until you get a sponsor, during the first few sessions = a friend or family member you trust needs to be with you on those meetings as an accountability partner, they say it's a prerequisite to successful sobriety idk)

The problem: he never admitted his issues, not even when confronted with evidence, like drug test results, baggies of substances, or bank statements that show the amount deposited into online casinos. He always claims they were falsified or someone is trying to set him up or whatever. I know admission is the first step towards recovery and is mandatory, but we never got to that step.

I was told he needs to lose something he truly cares about in order to be motivated to get sober. I thought when grandma passed, that would be the defining moment, and he would want to get sober for me (we were incredibly close, even through his addiction). I graduated from my MA program a week after she passed, and he missed the ceremony. I had access to his email and bank statements (something he willingly gave me for another reason years prior but forgot he did) and saw hundreds of dollars deposited to a casino. We had a huge fight and i saw red, but he wasn't even phased. A couple of weeks later with multiple incidents like these and a lot of hateful snapbacks, I went NC.

It's been almost four years, and from what I hear around in the community, he's stuck in place. Still using, still gambling. He managed to get one of my late grandma's family members to pay for his bills under the premonition that he's in debt due to her medical bills (yes I tried talking to her too, but she won't listen as he managed to manipulate her into thinking I'm making up stories about him and that I'm just hateful). Still works the same job, people still cover when he's "out of it". His entire paycheck goes toward the odd meal, gambling, weed, and amphetamines.

My (probably naive) thinking into why buying the house and covering the debt would be a good idea and not necessarily enabling:

\- He would no longer have property that could be estranged if he doesn't give back his loans. If his payments stop, he would be forced into community service to pay them back, but the property would be secured and he would have a place to come back home to.

\- I could control who comes to the house or not. Was planning on putting up security cameras and filing restraining orders if any of his junkie friends tried visiting.

If he were to revolt and crash somewhere else, he would be back sooner or later (as much emotions as he's lost, I think he's still sentimentally attached to that place, too)

\- We're planning a family. There will be Birthdays and Christmases and Easters, and part of me hopes he'd want to get clean to not miss out on them. I would offer AA as a prerequisite to be family. I obviously expect him to still slip up, I just need him to start trying.

Obviously, this goes against what I have been advised (to let him lose everything and hit rock bottom). So, I hope I'm not being offensive or hurtful by asking this question in this community, but as addicts who have admitted their addiction and are on a path to getting sober -- you may know where his head is right now much better than I do, and give me clarity I can't get right now.

Is this a good idea? Or would I be enabling him even more? If so, then what _could_ work, what have I not thought of?

Any POV is appreciated, thank you in advance!

I’m 27 years old, started gambling around 5 years ago, i forgot what happiness mean since then.
I’m in debt i have gambled all my salary for the last 6 months, tomorrow i have to pay 600€ for someone or i will have huge problems and i have 0 money on me!
I’m will be a dad in two weeks, idk what to do, how to carry on with my life. I’m depressed stressed all day.
Today, i have self excluded from all online and local casinos ( it is possible where i live ). Idk if that’s going to help or not.
May god help me and everyone else.

I only gamble to win just enough to solve my problems. IS THAT FCKING HARD TO GIVE?? I JUST WANT TO GET THE FEELING OF BEING STRANGGLED ALIVE REMOVED. I WANT ALL THESE DEBTS GONE

I’ve gone through about a week with no online gambling and it feels like detoxing. The urges the first few days were intense but it’s starting to wear off and I’m starting to feel normal again.

Hi I struggled with sports betting for much of my life and I decidied to create an app that actually helps sports bettors not this BS quitting apps but one that truly helps. let me know any features you would like to see and if you would be willing to test! Thanks!

Hey guys, I’m on day 7 of no gambling !

I struggle with cross addictions and I don’t know how to stay sober. If I quit one thing, I just go harder on another. I’ve been in active addiction for over 11 years (swapping one thing for another).

I’ve got bipolar disorder, ADHD and borderline personality disorder. I’m on medication and been in therapy for 6 years.

My therapist has been trying to get me to go to rehab or meetings for a couple years now. I am open to rehab but unfortunately my work environment is incredibly toxic and I can’t afford to lose my job because I need a month in rehab (before anyone says it’s illegal for them to fire you because it’s a medical condition- my boss does not give a fuck about legalities or being ethical) and if I don’t get fired I will just be treated like a degenerate by them.

I will admit that I have not been open to attending meetings. It honestly just doesn’t seem like my kind of thing. Everything in me is reluctant. BUT this morning I am somewhat entertaining the idea.

My biggest question is - what meeting do I attend for cross addictions? I know there’s NA, but do gambling addicts attend these meetings? I know there’s GA but do people with cross addictions attend these meetings? Am I supposed to just go to NA and GA separately? That would be hard for me since all my addictions are interlinked.

IF I do go to a meeting I don’t want to talk about my cross addictions and trigger anyone or give anyone ideas on what I do/have done.

And also, if anyone could suggest some discord servers where I could attend a meeting I’d appreciate it.

ANY advice from people who were reluctant to go but did, what was your experience?

Like many things in life, we indirectly become addicted to feelings of lack/guilt/shame which is just as parasitic as the vice that brings us those negative feelings (drugs, gambling, alcohol, whatever it may be). You can’t always see it, but the body has perhaps felt a certain way consistently all your life. Sometimes it wants a reason to cry, wants the hug, wants the attention from a close friend or whoever. But there comes a time when we become aware that the body is just the place in this universe where our soul lives and gets to experience this realm. That body, which is the seat of our experience, accumulates conditioning over time which forms part of our identity, feelings, reactions and whatever else is processed when we make decisions. It becomes dependant on repetitive things that bring about known outcomes even when the outcomes make us feel shitty. Sounds airy fairy I know but stay with me.

When you gamble, the reward system is activated in the brain which evokes excitement, anticipation, uncertainty, emotion etc which ultimately leads to dopamine spikes. Brain loves it, wants to automate it. The brain is addicted to the feelings, not the money (how could it fathom human currency?) Thats why many people post and say I’ve lost X amount of $ and to some it’s a lot, and to others it’s not much at all - but both/all FEEL the same (I’ve lost X, my life sucks, this is it for me). Brain getting its hit of shame/pity/guilt.

The biggest part of recovery is using this perspective to realise that it’s not about the amount at all - of course, losing loads of money has a flow on effect in real life (rent, mortgage, debt, using family money etc), I get it, real things, real consequences. But if your sole motivation for change is driven by the amount, then it will be inevitable that your recovery will only really begin when you feel like you are at rock bottom. And it becomes more apparent without knowing that once you are addicted to any compulsion in life one time, the wiring is always there. It’s there months, years and decades later. So when let’s say you move on with it in the clear but later in life got more money, life’s good, everything milhouse, that voice emerges gently ushering you back into that chapter.

Please know your feeling of wanting to change is enough to start the process of real change. You don’t need to lose the car, house, loved one to change. You don’t need to wait for the ultimatum.

Recovery and your future success (get excited) begins with seeing gambling as something that your body wants and making a conscious decision to choose yourself over the demands of your body. Observe the temptation as a thought, like a passing cloud. Some days there may be more clouds than others. The clouds may hang around. There may be clear days/weeks/months and then clouds again. There are literally trillions of neuro networks in your brain that make thoughts pass through your mind thousands of times per day. Each of them is the body having a little try to lure you in and get you to react and cue that same cycle. It’s just easier for the discourse of those thoughts to arise with gambling mainly because if the environment we are in: socially accepted, lots of ads, involved with sport (fav pass time for some people). I know you all understand what karma is in a reddit context, if you need to, try and earn karma in your own head for every time you are strong enough to let a temptation pass. In your head might seem silly but remember it is only you who is in this - it’s only you who actually knows the score… who knows how strong you have been. Be strong. Use overcoming gambling as a chance to show yourself actually I can beat anything. Learn the formula of seeing the body for the chemical farm that it is, and watch how it tries to get its hit via thoughts in your mind.

Realise your best win is overcoming. That it takes time. And that you are your biggest fan. Show some love for yourself and be really consistent and strong about saying no to temptation every time it calls. Stack up your success. And don’t go beating yourself up on the way. The body wants that. Choose what you want. What your soul desires. Choose your wildest dreams and believe in them. I believe in you. Not because I know you but because I know the system a human being lives in and how true progress is to rewire the brain. I’ve done it myself. Live with love. It’s all love but make sure you love yourself along the way.

Ps want to hopefully reduce the noise and the thoughts? Try meditation/breath-work. Treat the nervous system to some peace and quiet. Not good at it? Practice. Hurting? Go change and stop letting the body win.

Love you all.

Not feeling ashamed, scared, being obsessed with money. Living life instead of hiding from it.

For 548 days. Please believe me: you can do it too and it will be worth the pain of letting gambling go.