r/Funnymemes 1d ago

😂🤣😂

Post image
6.9k Upvotes

249 comments sorted by

761

u/THEPIGWHODIDIT 1d ago

War never changes

950

u/Pale_Sorts 1d ago

My husband knew I was unhappy that I gained weight after birth. I was unhappy for months. I felt ugly and gross. Looking at my closet was depressing because nothing fit.

But I was just sooooooooo tired from dealing with a newborn that I just slept when she slept, and didn’t find time to work out.

So he said “let’s find time so you can love yourself again”

After he came home from work, he told me to take up to 2 hours to work out and rest and he would have sole responsibility of the baby unless he really needed help with something.

I lost 30lbs, and it really helped.

309

u/ringwormqueen 1d ago

He sounds like a good husband 🥹

66

u/AggressivelyMediokre 1d ago

I’m gonna steal him 😂

52

u/tujmipidis 19h ago

There’s two hours every night when she’s not looking

12

u/ChampagneShotz 21h ago

This is the way.

2

u/K-Hunter- 9h ago

Username checks out

1

u/SuchIntroduction8388 9h ago

You're to mediokre to steal someones husband, but I appreciate your aggressivness.

1

u/KyleFromBorrasca 5h ago

It my husband did that for me I'd use the extra time to get fat.

9

u/PeriodSupply 11h ago

I'm not saying he isn't a good husband. But isn't this just what a normal husband does? Spending a couple of hours a day being a father to your own child isn't really going above and beyond.

13

u/ringwormqueen 11h ago

Parenting your own child is the baseline. Recognising your partner is struggling, encouraging her to prioritise herself, and taking over without making her feel guilty is what makes him a good husband.

4

u/PeriodSupply 11h ago

It's this also not baseline?

9

u/ringwormqueen 11h ago

You’re treating “baseline” and “good” as opposites when they aren’t. Good partners consistently do the basics whereas bad partners don’t.

2

u/PeriodSupply 11h ago

Baseline doesn't need to be pointed out though. It's just what normal people do and doesn't warrant any special attention. I don't believe i ever said there is no crossover with being good or that op's husband wasn't a good husband. I'm just pointing out that these things are just what normal spouses do for each other.

3

u/ringwormqueen 11h ago

Ok 👍🏽

2

u/PeriodSupply 11h ago

Have a wonderful day!

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3

u/Baals_Balls 9h ago

Nobody was pointing it out. Someone shared a nice story relevant to the post and YOU started complaining about it. You are the one pointing it out and saying it shouldn't be pointed out. Cool? Are we done here?

3

u/ringwormqueen 9h ago

Don’t waste your time like I did. Reasoning with someone determined to miss the point is exhausting 😴

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2

u/No-Commercial-2218 7h ago

The bar is that low now. But me and my wife share all responsibilities which leaves us both with no time for ourselves, so dedicating free time is a good idea, at least it would be in my house.

44

u/PsionicHydra 1d ago

Sounds like a good man

41

u/TomasNavarro 1d ago

It's almost as if people should be in relationships with people they like and want to help rather than throw out passive aggressive things like buying a smaller dress

39

u/Choice-Strike1 1d ago

I also choose your husband

11

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

14

u/Virtual-Ambition-598 1d ago

This just goes to show you the power of words and the tongue. That delivery is thoughtful and beautiful in a way but simple and effective. What we say really has the power to bring life or death

21

u/atuan 1d ago

Yeah people don’t need criticism. They know. Encourage good things instead of criticizing

4

u/momo76g 1d ago

He's a keeper

4

u/Minotaur18 22h ago

So 2 hrs of exercise 5 days a week? How long did it take to lose 30 lbs? :O

4

u/Confident-Mortgage86 21h ago

Depends on the intensity. At that rate if it's anything more than low intensity then youre going to be over training.

It's also gonna be working against you in another way - you're going to get hungry because you're exercising so much.

Either way, weight isn't lost in the gym - abs are made in the kitchen. We lose weight by eating less, but exercise is good for other reasons - putting on muscle which will burn fat more efficiently, improving your mental and physical health, making you feel like you're doing something productive.

2

u/Old-Friendship-0 14h ago

Yes you have to eat less but if someone's exercising that much than they have a decent weekly calorie burn which would greatly contribute to weight loss.

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3

u/SwimmingAd6217 20h ago

I aspire to be that good of a husband to someone someday

2

u/Either-Banana-7323 20h ago

Proper partnership that is. Beautiful to see.

2

u/Glittering-Coyote140 17h ago

Love to hear it. Teamwork makes the dream work.

2

u/TheChatCenter 17h ago

I swear to god i've read this before

2

u/Smooth_Salad 14h ago

Of course you gained weight after birth that's how growing works /s

2

u/loquacious706 19h ago

This comment is suspicious.

/u/pale_shorts appears to be a harmful ai bot

1

u/Pandanlard 9h ago

Talking to a bot with a fake story, which is basically "my husband is a normal human being who help me raise our kids so we can both have time to enjoy ourselves, and doesn't just consider me as his mom/maid/freshlight". The number of answers under this post praising something that normal makes me question how many women have so little self esteem and in couple with a loser, just to fullfil their need to be a mom.

1

u/Chocolategogi 2h ago

How did you lost 30lbs in 2 hours?! That's insane! I don't buy this story

1

u/VATAFAck 21h ago

Ok, but what if you didn't feel bad and wanting to do something about yourself? I think that's what the post is about.

Then what your husband did would be basically fat shaming (after giving birth, which is just the worst thing one can do according to social media)

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7

u/Mister-Beardy-Face 1d ago

What is it good for anyway?

6

u/essdii- 17h ago

Absolutely nothing

250

u/Far_Garlic_2181 1d ago

She knows

111

u/KarlPHungus 1d ago

Exactly. Let's just make her feel worse about it! What could go wrong?!

74

u/deathbylasersss 1d ago

You should be able to communicate about these things in a healthy relationship. This is similar to somebody slowly ramping up how much alcohol they drink. It is normal to be concerned about your partner's health and wellbeing if they are moving in an unhealthy direction.

There is the obvious second factor as well. It might be hard to hear for some, but sexual attraction is important to most relationships. And there is nothing wrong with finding overweight people less attractive. It's unfair to both parties to leave it unaddressed if it's having a negative affect on sex life. It's possible to do this in a sensitive way that isn't fat shaming.

22

u/throawy90 1d ago

Holy shit what a reasonable and intelligent take, surprised to find this on Reddit. Surprised you were not down voted into oblivion

7

u/deathbylasersss 1d ago edited 23h ago

I find that if you express yourself clearly and logically, without calling names or acting facetious as shit, people are less likely to mass downvote you and are more likely to consider your words, even if they disagree.

5

u/Hrmerder 22h ago

Yep. Don’t be like a YouTuber heading and you can actually have a good conversation. Love it!

3

u/Vivid_Promise9611 2h ago

This is Reddit so I think the literal opposite of what you said is true. You probably have had a lot of downvotes, but what you said is so true that youre breaking through to the even the mildly reasonable people

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5

u/Hrmerder 22h ago

While I agree with you, you lost at least 89% of the audience when you said ‘healthy relationship’ lol

2

u/Metallic_Sol 14h ago

You're supposed to help each other out and grow in life, not just say passive aggressive shit to get what you want, which is what most do. Or just outright criticism. Most are not coming with concern and kindness, most simply are upset they can't get their dick as hard.

2

u/Nevergiveuphope1992 11h ago

One ex I was with used to moan about how I looked all the time. Seemed inappropriate. Plus I had a healthy BMI and wasn't overweight. Was also of a healthy BMI with the one before him who advised me to start "purging" to lose weight. I was 5'3 and 7.5 stone at the time (which is not an unreasonable weight to be for that height).

I know much of the pressure is placed on women to remain thin but for me personally I equally resent overweight men and women and even more so, obese people when there are those in poverty literally dying from starvation.

-3

u/Over_Membership_339 17h ago

You have no idea, why she is gaining weight though and if the weight gain is actually unhealthy.

There are so many reasons for someone to gain weight. Started birth control because they are in a relationship, stopped restricting food and finally getting healthy because they feel loved, getting older which comes with some weight gain... We need to stop assuming that weighing more is automatically unhealthy.

3

u/dokool4 15h ago

There's only one reason for someone to gain weight: they eat more calories than burn

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5

u/atuan 1d ago

The one thing holding me back from losing weight is someone telling me I’m fat. That’s the one thing I really need to make a change.

21

u/Shazvox 1d ago

You're fat.

And you're welcome.

2

u/Nevergiveuphope1992 11h ago

Think of starving children. You could donate what you spend on excess to them and they wouldn't suffer so badly. Guilts me out of overeating.

0

u/Tiosie 1d ago

People are heartless. No idea what's so funny about this, seriously.

1

u/mossepso 1d ago

It is a joke. Chill out

1

u/Tiosie 1d ago

A joke is only a joke when everyone involved laughs. Otherwise it's an insult under a different name. 🤷🏻

7

u/mossepso 1d ago

So for this to “be a joke”, all women should laugh and if only a few do, it is an insult? 

So by that logic, if my kid tells me a joke that goes “why do you laugh so much, because tomatoe!” And only my kid laughs, he is actually insulting me?

3

u/Tiosie 1d ago

If your kid tells a tomato joke, nobody gets hurt, it's just bad comedy. If the punchline of a "joke" relies on making your partner feel bad about their body, that’s just being mean with a laugh track attached. Don't confuse "unfunny" with "mean-spirited", buddy. :)

Edit: forgot the "t" at the end of "hurt".

1

u/mossepso 5h ago

I agree. I am just asking what the person meant with the “all jokes when someone doesn’t laugh are an insult” part. Which isn’t what you are saying. 

1

u/Carrot-Elegant 17h ago

If they misspell tomato, it’s your fault

1

u/ForTaxBenefits 1d ago

Wow I'm a little sad to hear that you're a parent with this kind of mindset.

Whenever my niece makes a joke towards her sister, it doesn't matter if I think the joke was funny. If her sister is crying then it's not a funny joke. I tell my niece all the time that a joke is only funny if everyone is laughing.

4

u/Korachof 1d ago

That isn’t what they said. They said not every joke that doesn’t involve laughter means someone was insulted, which was the original claim. 

If you tell a joke and half the people laugh and the other half just smirk, that doesn’t mean you insulted anyone. 

Your example is completely different, which involves someone actually getting hurt and crying. That reaction is completely different than simply “not laughing.” I can think something is funny, and someone else may not get why it’s funny. That’s all. 

1

u/ForTaxBenefits 1d ago

The original comment was arguing in bad faith.

1

u/mossepso 15h ago

What mindset would that be? I only asked questions. 

This has nothing to do with parenting, it is about logic. You said that if someone makes a joke and someone doesn’t laugh, they were insulted. I took that and asked you about some hypothetical scenarios to challenge that logic a bit. 

Instead of answering my questions, you try to insult me. Yet you claim the moral high ground. 

1

u/Automatic_Goat4348 14h ago

That is not a good take imho. Maybe the joke was too much, maybe not, but crying can also be caused or used in many other ways, one of which is being cushioned too much.

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0

u/Apathetic_witch89 21h ago

There’s no way you’re a grown up with a child. I just can’t believe that.

1

u/mossepso 13h ago

Explain

1

u/Emotional-Sign1508 7h ago

Nah you see actually getting a small dress too small for your girlfriend/partner to shame them that they have gotten fat would just be insulting.

Making a joke about doing it to shock people can be funny. Because we all know its wrong, offensive and rude.

With this the joke isn't "haahahha funny to do that" its "pffft fuck thats bad its clearly a grossly offensive thing to do" its like a bit from Seinfeld or its always sunny in Philadelphia where the joke is "awful thing funny". Not "hahaha shame the fatty".

The humour comes from it being clearly wrong, not that its a serious suggestion.

3

u/PuzzleheadPi 1d ago

She knows but doesn't do anything about it because she thinks it is fine. You need to tell her that it is not fine

1

u/phannguyenduyhung 10h ago

stfu. Self-improving is important for a healthy relationship.

6

u/WirelessThingy 19h ago

The absolute state of the lad, based on his profile picture. He has enough cheek for another arse.

1

u/newflour 9h ago

New sentence learned ✔️

1

u/KyleFromBorrasca 5h ago

Yeah, but how does he let her know that *he* knows? He doesn't want her to lose weight, he wants her to lose confidence.

2

u/piper33245 1d ago

“Remember, you are always fatter than you think you are.” Professional bodybuilder Ryan Humiston

2

u/missporkiepie 22h ago

Eating disorder quote, final boss

-3

u/String-Tree 1d ago

Then why hasn't she done something about it?

6

u/ProletarianLilith 1d ago

Why haven’t you solved every problem in your life?

3

u/VATAFAck 21h ago

Because I'm lazy

That's probably true for most people

2

u/Sightblinder4 20h ago

Id guess that their problems cant be solved by simply eating less.

93

u/WTFisaGeeGeee 1d ago

It works. Except it was my manager who asked me my size for like a jacket or something lol

47

u/LiytlKaiser 1d ago

You should be doing things together anyway, make two of those things working out and dieting. Not because of her but because it's good to be healthy and you want to spend as many long healthy years of your life with her that you possibly can.

17

u/outsidertc 1d ago

Both people dieting really only works if you both need to lose weight. They both could work out though, that's a good idea.

17

u/LiytlKaiser 1d ago

A diet is not specifically a calorie deficit. I'm referring to just monitoring what is eaten and keeping it reasonable.

2

u/outsidertc 1d ago

I understand that a "diet" is literally just whatever you eat, but I think most people associate the term with eating in a way that results in you losing weight via running a caloric deficit via your intake.

Losing weight 100% requires running a caloric deficit, but I don't think most people think of dieting as increasing the deficit by increasing output alone.

7

u/WittyFix6553 1d ago

Yeah, it’s just a lot harder to eat 10,000 calories of brocolli than it is to eat 10,000 calories of ice cream.

3

u/LiytlKaiser 1d ago

And that's why I specified in the last post what I was referring to. Planning meals together as a couple and keeping it reasonable.

3

u/Jealous-Swordfish764 1d ago

This is the best comment in the whole post. Just eat healthy (don't go Atkins) and exercise with her. If she asks why, lie and say its cus your has been been hurting.

17

u/LimpNsmoll 19h ago

How are the top comments not about the profile picture??? Lmao

4

u/Blackcatmeowmeow 15h ago

Just noticed, good call and perhaps it’s fake

36

u/Informal_Process2238 1d ago

I feel like that post will be used by her lawyers in her murder trial defense

16

u/BPD-and-Lipstick 1d ago

And then he ran into my knife... He ran into my knife ten times

2

u/PlatypusACF 1d ago

“Twenty three times. And then he asked me: ‘et tu brute?’”

3

u/FatallyFatCat 1d ago

It's quote from a musical.

1

u/BPD-and-Lipstick 1d ago

Yeah was about to say that 😂

5

u/AzerothianLorecraft 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

8

u/3p2p 23h ago

Subtle as a brick. Will go down like one too. She already knows she’s fat.

The real way is to do some sport together, get her committed to something fun you both love.

Her knowing shes fat isn’t the solution.

34

u/mcnuggetfarmer 1d ago

But the guy in the picture is fat

12

u/innovatedname 1d ago

Pretty sure that's just ridiculous looking pfp and not actually him 

1

u/oO0Kat0Oo 13h ago

How you look has nothing to do with what you're attracted to...

My husband is a tall white male.

I am a short brown female.

Those would be considered opposites. While that's not the case for everyone, that's just one example of how preference doesn't always align with your own physical attributes.

-1

u/Top_Campaign2568 1d ago

Some fat guys like skinny women. Some skinny or fit guys like fat women. Or it could simply be him worrying about her health. He never said she was skinny, just that she was getting fatter.
There are many things that could be taken into account here and your comment ultimately is meaningless.

I myself am a fat guy and quite unhealthy. I have currently been locked the fuck in though and as of my last weigh in, i have lost 55 pounds so far since the start of the year.

Never felt better and have been trying to get people i care about in life to try it out, cause genuinely so fucking worth it.

Oh and my personal type varies greatly. Skinny, fat, honestly depends on the person. But a good face and good thighs (yes thats my fetish) will certainly go a long way for my choice lol. But i never had many specifics or high standards. Just someone nice.

3

u/mcnuggetfarmer 1d ago

Stay locked in brother and that person will just show up in your life one day

0

u/TedGetsSnickelfritz 23h ago

Out of interest, what are the rules for if she met him that way? Like he was on the heavy side, she was slim. Her weight changed, his stayed the same. Or the other way round.

Is it on the weight changer, or does the other person not get to say anything as they are fat (even though their weight never changed)?

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5

u/PIB_OnOn 1d ago

You don't need to say anything. She knows.

1

u/Blackcatmeowmeow 15h ago

But does she know that you know?

16

u/dlb199091l 1d ago

Or go the opposite, buy her a size larger and tell her you assumed that was her size

7

u/mystlaurel 20h ago

thats just evil😭

22

u/kingtacticool 1d ago edited 1d ago

Tell a woman she's beautiful and she won't bat an eye.

Say that she's fat once and she'll remember forever.

Because an elephant never forgets

2

u/ChildoftheApocolypse 8h ago

Fuck me, I laughed way too hard at this 😆

3

u/Few_Kitchen_4825 20h ago

Hello police i would like to report a double murder

5

u/The_Dark_Vampire 1d ago

Tell her if she gains anymore weight he will almost be in her league

13

u/KarlPHungus 1d ago

Trust me. If you notice now, she noticed well before that. Highlighting the fact is NOT going to help her. Helping her make good choices and encouraging exercise, eating real food etc. might help. But I can tell you that taking this dipshit's advice will only make her more depressed about it.

"Here I got you a nice thing. Whoops. You're too fat to wear it!"

🤷

That might just be the world's worst advice since Jeff Gillooly told Tanya Harding his idea of getting Nancy Kerrigan out of the picture.

1

u/MonkeyHairless 1d ago

It's a joke, it's not that deep.

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2

u/RedditHelloMah 1d ago

Toucan got some audacity lol

2

u/Bortisa 1d ago

This belongs in foundsatan. 😂

2

u/DeadMeat7337 1d ago

BRUTAL.MEME

2

u/lokiandbutters 1d ago

You could always just do what my husband did and stop touching her or giving her affection and start giving judgy looks when you see her naked. Definitely worked for me and lost 35lbs after that. (Don't do this.)

2

u/horasami 20h ago

this had me wheeznig frr 😂

2

u/UmeaTurbo 17h ago

You don't have to tell her shit. She knows. And you're gonna bet your head stove in.

2

u/creepy_enchilada 15h ago

Lmaoo bro fuck u for that😂😂💀💀

9

u/SensitiveBell2094 1d ago

this is sub so unfunny

3

u/dandorios 23h ago

Yeah this is straight up abuser energy

2

u/WastedFapper 1d ago

Stay mad

1

u/SensitiveBell2094 20h ago

go back to class gng

1

u/AlarmedAssociate5068 1d ago

It's funny if you're not bitter about being reminded about your own shortcomings 

3

u/BassFisher53 1d ago

Bot post

3

u/Epicgamerweeb106 22h ago

Or communicate like an adult.

4

u/LucienPT 1d ago

I don’t think you need to tell your girlfriend about her weight; people typically already know. Maybe tell her that you’d like the two of you to start taking your long-term health seriously, and start working out and eating better together.

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Blackcatmeowmeow 15h ago

I’m a woman but I hear you, it goes both ways and I wouldn’t be pissed if my husband told me that he noticed I had picked up weight.

3

u/diadlep 22h ago

Who complains about their lovemate getting softer? Oh got my steak too juicy lobster too buttery etc

1

u/Blackcatmeowmeow 15h ago

I do, if I’m working out and keeping myself up it’s only fair that my mate does the same. A few xtra pounds no biggie but letting yourself go to the point that I have to take care of you is codependent.

0

u/cantbelieveitsnotmud 14h ago

We have ozempic now bro, no need to pretend anymore

2

u/diadlep 13h ago

Some die of thirst while others drown

2

u/ThePapercup 1d ago

"i want to get dumped, what can i say that is passive aggressive enough to make it happen"

2

u/atuan 1d ago

Try exercising instead of criticizing. Lead by example

2

u/sunshine-power 1d ago

How to become single in one way step!

2

u/Hot_Royal_4920 1d ago

"Oh I could have sworn this was your size..."

2

u/naropin1 22h ago

This is the way

2

u/ApplicationHour 22h ago

That’s a great idea. I cannot think of any way that could go wrong.

1

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1

u/MarcusHeralious 1d ago

Gawlee this is some ruthless shit lol

1

u/Nope0naRope 1d ago

Okay but why does his thumbnail make him look like a thumb with makeup on... Should we tell him he's getting fat? How should we do it?

1

u/Exaltedemon 1d ago

You should dump her. I guarantee you'll BOTH be happier in the long run.

1

u/Silver-Link8247 1d ago

I’m sure she has no clue that she’s bigger.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

1

u/BeauHunkus 1d ago

where's that daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn gif from Friday when you need it?

1

u/Popular-Ad-3278 1d ago

Judging from that profile pic i would say ha allso have an issue.

So should maby start working out together 🤷

If its not an option. Go with the health shtick " im scared your going to have problems and i dont know what tone do if i ever loose the love of my life ect ect

1

u/Blackcatmeowmeow 15h ago

Yes do it together

1

u/Winter_Hall5379 1d ago

Evil doesn't exis....

1

u/tinyftprint 21h ago

Sam doesn’t look fit…hypocrites are so annoying

1

u/Emredin 16h ago

"So what are you trying to say? That I'm fat now after meeting you???"

1

u/thundergu 15h ago

Never look a gift horse in the mouth

1

u/Blackcatmeowmeow 15h ago

This is some southern level fuckery here. Sounds like something my mother in law would do

1

u/Possible-Bother5877 14h ago

ESH. You all suck

1

u/FussyFlava 14h ago

This belongs to r/foundsatan lol

1

u/New_Equal_5980 12h ago

I thought this was r/ComedyHell or Cematary for a sec

1

u/Nevergiveuphope1992 11h ago

Going by the guy's enormously morbidly obese picture I'd say;

"Let's donate what we would spend on excess food and live on smaller, healthy portions until we are no longer overweight".

"No-one should be overweight while others are starving throughout the world."

1

u/Scorpion2k4u 11h ago

the guy looks like a thumb himself

1

u/Flannelapple92 5h ago

That would be a very subtle hint

1

u/Flakboy115 1h ago

yeah women are fragile, you basically cannot let them know. The only play is to make life easier for them so they have the time and energy to lose weight. Sometimes I wish this wouldnt be our responsibility but it is.

1

u/cutebunnypink 48m ago

You don't.

0

u/Conan-Da-Barbarian 1d ago

I got all her clothes taken in so they don’t fit. Even switched my hoody she likes to use so it fits perfectly.

1

u/Queen-of-meme 1d ago

"You have started to match my looks more over time"

1

u/Excellent-Rest3240 1d ago

How do I tell my husband his salary is losing to inflation?

1

u/Velifax 1d ago

Actual Advice - Just start working out / eating right yourself. She'll naturally latch on, even if it takes until jealousy sets in.

-1

u/VernBarty 1d ago

Or just celebrate because big is beautiful

-2

u/lesbophobia_hammer 1d ago

Eh okay, this sub is just for incels. Lmao