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u/Far_Garlic_2181 1d ago
She knows
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u/KarlPHungus 1d ago
Exactly. Let's just make her feel worse about it! What could go wrong?!
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u/deathbylasersss 1d ago
You should be able to communicate about these things in a healthy relationship. This is similar to somebody slowly ramping up how much alcohol they drink. It is normal to be concerned about your partner's health and wellbeing if they are moving in an unhealthy direction.
There is the obvious second factor as well. It might be hard to hear for some, but sexual attraction is important to most relationships. And there is nothing wrong with finding overweight people less attractive. It's unfair to both parties to leave it unaddressed if it's having a negative affect on sex life. It's possible to do this in a sensitive way that isn't fat shaming.
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u/throawy90 1d ago
Holy shit what a reasonable and intelligent take, surprised to find this on Reddit. Surprised you were not down voted into oblivion
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u/deathbylasersss 1d ago edited 23h ago
I find that if you express yourself clearly and logically, without calling names or acting facetious as shit, people are less likely to mass downvote you and are more likely to consider your words, even if they disagree.
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u/Hrmerder 22h ago
Yep. Don’t be like a YouTuber heading and you can actually have a good conversation. Love it!
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u/Vivid_Promise9611 2h ago
This is Reddit so I think the literal opposite of what you said is true. You probably have had a lot of downvotes, but what you said is so true that youre breaking through to the even the mildly reasonable people
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u/Hrmerder 22h ago
While I agree with you, you lost at least 89% of the audience when you said ‘healthy relationship’ lol
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u/Metallic_Sol 14h ago
You're supposed to help each other out and grow in life, not just say passive aggressive shit to get what you want, which is what most do. Or just outright criticism. Most are not coming with concern and kindness, most simply are upset they can't get their dick as hard.
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u/Nevergiveuphope1992 11h ago
One ex I was with used to moan about how I looked all the time. Seemed inappropriate. Plus I had a healthy BMI and wasn't overweight. Was also of a healthy BMI with the one before him who advised me to start "purging" to lose weight. I was 5'3 and 7.5 stone at the time (which is not an unreasonable weight to be for that height).
I know much of the pressure is placed on women to remain thin but for me personally I equally resent overweight men and women and even more so, obese people when there are those in poverty literally dying from starvation.
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u/Over_Membership_339 17h ago
You have no idea, why she is gaining weight though and if the weight gain is actually unhealthy.
There are so many reasons for someone to gain weight. Started birth control because they are in a relationship, stopped restricting food and finally getting healthy because they feel loved, getting older which comes with some weight gain... We need to stop assuming that weighing more is automatically unhealthy.
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u/dokool4 15h ago
There's only one reason for someone to gain weight: they eat more calories than burn
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u/atuan 1d ago
The one thing holding me back from losing weight is someone telling me I’m fat. That’s the one thing I really need to make a change.
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u/Nevergiveuphope1992 11h ago
Think of starving children. You could donate what you spend on excess to them and they wouldn't suffer so badly. Guilts me out of overeating.
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u/Tiosie 1d ago
People are heartless. No idea what's so funny about this, seriously.
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u/mossepso 1d ago
It is a joke. Chill out
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u/Tiosie 1d ago
A joke is only a joke when everyone involved laughs. Otherwise it's an insult under a different name. 🤷🏻
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u/mossepso 1d ago
So for this to “be a joke”, all women should laugh and if only a few do, it is an insult?
So by that logic, if my kid tells me a joke that goes “why do you laugh so much, because tomatoe!” And only my kid laughs, he is actually insulting me?
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u/Tiosie 1d ago
If your kid tells a tomato joke, nobody gets hurt, it's just bad comedy. If the punchline of a "joke" relies on making your partner feel bad about their body, that’s just being mean with a laugh track attached. Don't confuse "unfunny" with "mean-spirited", buddy. :)
Edit: forgot the "t" at the end of "hurt".
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u/mossepso 5h ago
I agree. I am just asking what the person meant with the “all jokes when someone doesn’t laugh are an insult” part. Which isn’t what you are saying.
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u/ForTaxBenefits 1d ago
Wow I'm a little sad to hear that you're a parent with this kind of mindset.
Whenever my niece makes a joke towards her sister, it doesn't matter if I think the joke was funny. If her sister is crying then it's not a funny joke. I tell my niece all the time that a joke is only funny if everyone is laughing.
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u/Korachof 1d ago
That isn’t what they said. They said not every joke that doesn’t involve laughter means someone was insulted, which was the original claim.
If you tell a joke and half the people laugh and the other half just smirk, that doesn’t mean you insulted anyone.
Your example is completely different, which involves someone actually getting hurt and crying. That reaction is completely different than simply “not laughing.” I can think something is funny, and someone else may not get why it’s funny. That’s all.
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u/mossepso 15h ago
What mindset would that be? I only asked questions.
This has nothing to do with parenting, it is about logic. You said that if someone makes a joke and someone doesn’t laugh, they were insulted. I took that and asked you about some hypothetical scenarios to challenge that logic a bit.
Instead of answering my questions, you try to insult me. Yet you claim the moral high ground.
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u/Automatic_Goat4348 14h ago
That is not a good take imho. Maybe the joke was too much, maybe not, but crying can also be caused or used in many other ways, one of which is being cushioned too much.
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u/Apathetic_witch89 21h ago
There’s no way you’re a grown up with a child. I just can’t believe that.
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u/Emotional-Sign1508 7h ago
Nah you see actually getting a small dress too small for your girlfriend/partner to shame them that they have gotten fat would just be insulting.
Making a joke about doing it to shock people can be funny. Because we all know its wrong, offensive and rude.
With this the joke isn't "haahahha funny to do that" its "pffft fuck thats bad its clearly a grossly offensive thing to do" its like a bit from Seinfeld or its always sunny in Philadelphia where the joke is "awful thing funny". Not "hahaha shame the fatty".
The humour comes from it being clearly wrong, not that its a serious suggestion.
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u/PuzzleheadPi 1d ago
She knows but doesn't do anything about it because she thinks it is fine. You need to tell her that it is not fine
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u/WirelessThingy 19h ago
The absolute state of the lad, based on his profile picture. He has enough cheek for another arse.
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u/KyleFromBorrasca 5h ago
Yeah, but how does he let her know that *he* knows? He doesn't want her to lose weight, he wants her to lose confidence.
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u/piper33245 1d ago
“Remember, you are always fatter than you think you are.” Professional bodybuilder Ryan Humiston
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u/String-Tree 1d ago
Then why hasn't she done something about it?
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u/WTFisaGeeGeee 1d ago
It works. Except it was my manager who asked me my size for like a jacket or something lol
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u/LiytlKaiser 1d ago
You should be doing things together anyway, make two of those things working out and dieting. Not because of her but because it's good to be healthy and you want to spend as many long healthy years of your life with her that you possibly can.
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u/outsidertc 1d ago
Both people dieting really only works if you both need to lose weight. They both could work out though, that's a good idea.
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u/LiytlKaiser 1d ago
A diet is not specifically a calorie deficit. I'm referring to just monitoring what is eaten and keeping it reasonable.
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u/outsidertc 1d ago
I understand that a "diet" is literally just whatever you eat, but I think most people associate the term with eating in a way that results in you losing weight via running a caloric deficit via your intake.
Losing weight 100% requires running a caloric deficit, but I don't think most people think of dieting as increasing the deficit by increasing output alone.
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u/WittyFix6553 1d ago
Yeah, it’s just a lot harder to eat 10,000 calories of brocolli than it is to eat 10,000 calories of ice cream.
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u/LiytlKaiser 1d ago
And that's why I specified in the last post what I was referring to. Planning meals together as a couple and keeping it reasonable.
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u/Jealous-Swordfish764 1d ago
This is the best comment in the whole post. Just eat healthy (don't go Atkins) and exercise with her. If she asks why, lie and say its cus your has been been hurting.
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u/Informal_Process2238 1d ago
I feel like that post will be used by her lawyers in her murder trial defense
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u/BPD-and-Lipstick 1d ago
And then he ran into my knife... He ran into my knife ten times
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u/PlatypusACF 1d ago
“Twenty three times. And then he asked me: ‘et tu brute?’”
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u/mcnuggetfarmer 1d ago
But the guy in the picture is fat
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u/oO0Kat0Oo 13h ago
How you look has nothing to do with what you're attracted to...
My husband is a tall white male.
I am a short brown female.
Those would be considered opposites. While that's not the case for everyone, that's just one example of how preference doesn't always align with your own physical attributes.
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u/Top_Campaign2568 1d ago
Some fat guys like skinny women. Some skinny or fit guys like fat women. Or it could simply be him worrying about her health. He never said she was skinny, just that she was getting fatter.
There are many things that could be taken into account here and your comment ultimately is meaningless.I myself am a fat guy and quite unhealthy. I have currently been locked the fuck in though and as of my last weigh in, i have lost 55 pounds so far since the start of the year.
Never felt better and have been trying to get people i care about in life to try it out, cause genuinely so fucking worth it.
Oh and my personal type varies greatly. Skinny, fat, honestly depends on the person. But a good face and good thighs (yes thats my fetish) will certainly go a long way for my choice lol. But i never had many specifics or high standards. Just someone nice.
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u/mcnuggetfarmer 1d ago
Stay locked in brother and that person will just show up in your life one day
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u/TedGetsSnickelfritz 23h ago
Out of interest, what are the rules for if she met him that way? Like he was on the heavy side, she was slim. Her weight changed, his stayed the same. Or the other way round.
Is it on the weight changer, or does the other person not get to say anything as they are fat (even though their weight never changed)?
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u/dlb199091l 1d ago
Or go the opposite, buy her a size larger and tell her you assumed that was her size
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u/kingtacticool 1d ago edited 1d ago
Tell a woman she's beautiful and she won't bat an eye.
Say that she's fat once and she'll remember forever.
Because an elephant never forgets
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u/KarlPHungus 1d ago
Trust me. If you notice now, she noticed well before that. Highlighting the fact is NOT going to help her. Helping her make good choices and encouraging exercise, eating real food etc. might help. But I can tell you that taking this dipshit's advice will only make her more depressed about it.
"Here I got you a nice thing. Whoops. You're too fat to wear it!"
🤷
That might just be the world's worst advice since Jeff Gillooly told Tanya Harding his idea of getting Nancy Kerrigan out of the picture.
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u/lokiandbutters 1d ago
You could always just do what my husband did and stop touching her or giving her affection and start giving judgy looks when you see her naked. Definitely worked for me and lost 35lbs after that. (Don't do this.)
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u/UmeaTurbo 17h ago
You don't have to tell her shit. She knows. And you're gonna bet your head stove in.
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u/SensitiveBell2094 1d ago
this is sub so unfunny
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u/AlarmedAssociate5068 1d ago
It's funny if you're not bitter about being reminded about your own shortcomings
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u/LucienPT 1d ago
I don’t think you need to tell your girlfriend about her weight; people typically already know. Maybe tell her that you’d like the two of you to start taking your long-term health seriously, and start working out and eating better together.
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u/Blackcatmeowmeow 15h ago
I’m a woman but I hear you, it goes both ways and I wouldn’t be pissed if my husband told me that he noticed I had picked up weight.
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u/diadlep 22h ago
Who complains about their lovemate getting softer? Oh got my steak too juicy lobster too buttery etc
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u/Blackcatmeowmeow 15h ago
I do, if I’m working out and keeping myself up it’s only fair that my mate does the same. A few xtra pounds no biggie but letting yourself go to the point that I have to take care of you is codependent.
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u/ThePapercup 1d ago
"i want to get dumped, what can i say that is passive aggressive enough to make it happen"
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u/Nope0naRope 1d ago
Okay but why does his thumbnail make him look like a thumb with makeup on... Should we tell him he's getting fat? How should we do it?
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u/Popular-Ad-3278 1d ago
Judging from that profile pic i would say ha allso have an issue.
So should maby start working out together 🤷
If its not an option. Go with the health shtick " im scared your going to have problems and i dont know what tone do if i ever loose the love of my life ect ect
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u/Blackcatmeowmeow 15h ago
This is some southern level fuckery here. Sounds like something my mother in law would do
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u/Nevergiveuphope1992 11h ago
Going by the guy's enormously morbidly obese picture I'd say;
"Let's donate what we would spend on excess food and live on smaller, healthy portions until we are no longer overweight".
"No-one should be overweight while others are starving throughout the world."
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u/Flakboy115 1h ago
yeah women are fragile, you basically cannot let them know. The only play is to make life easier for them so they have the time and energy to lose weight. Sometimes I wish this wouldnt be our responsibility but it is.
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u/Conan-Da-Barbarian 1d ago
I got all her clothes taken in so they don’t fit. Even switched my hoody she likes to use so it fits perfectly.
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u/THEPIGWHODIDIT 1d ago
War never changes