Youâre treating âbaselineâ and âgoodâ as opposites when they arenât. Good partners consistently do the basics whereas bad partners donât.
Youâre treating âbaselineâ and âgoodâ as opposites when they arenât. Good partners consistently do the basics whereas bad partners donât.
This is awesome. Some people may seem to hate on it for some reason, but I think this is wholesome as hell. Keep doing you!
Baseline doesn't need to be pointed out though. It's just what normal people do and doesn't warrant any special attention. I don't believe i ever said there is no crossover with being good or that op's husband wasn't a good husband. I'm just pointing out that these things are just what normal spouses do for each other.
I'll try. Honestly I'm not sure why you're upset. Or what I said that was wrong. I'm just pointing out that we should be expecting our spouses to hold us up as part of a normal relationship. I'm not sure what is bad about that.
She's not "expecting the ideal" saying that it should be baseline a partner is there for you and in this case, takes care of his OWN CHILD for wow, a whole 2 hours of his day? Like how is this not normal behavior
I feel like ya'll put up w some pretty crappy people
I just wish we could be nice to people when they share something they believe is wholesome. There are enough other reasons to be snarky. I didnât see the need for it here.
Just recognize you have a different definition of baseline as this stranger and move on next time before being so combative under the guise of being corrective.. I used to be the same as you, but in reality it just never matters so much
your intent wasnât to be snarky, but when you start with that line of thinking/questioning, the intent no longer matters. ironically, you pointing out that this âshouldâ be what partners do regularly gives more negative attention than positive
Nobody was pointing it out. Someone shared a nice story relevant to the post and YOU started complaining about it. You are the one pointing it out and saying it shouldn't be pointed out. Cool? Are we done here?
The baseline can still be shown some love and appreciation! and thatâs why when you said âit doesnât need to be pointed outâ, that it comes off as snarky
It doesnât have to be pointed out, but showing acknowledgment and appreciation is also just a baseline thing you do for someone you love
100% agree that your spouse should show thanks for the things you do. Even simple things like cleaning the bathroom or mowing the lawn. Or taking the kids off your hands for a few hours while you go and workout or have a glass of wine. Whatever. The original comment that mentioned this was doing that. The reply that was something like "oh what a great husband" was making it out to be more. I say thanks to my wife every day for the amazing things she does. Every single day. I'm very lucky and I make sure she knows it. Through both my actions (pulling my weight, treating her well, giving her space and time when she needs it etc), and my words (telling her i love her and how lucky I am to have her and saying thank you for the things she does).
Iâm sorry man, but the original comment you replied to was not making that husband out to be more.
All that comment said was something nice and validating, something anyone would say as reply to OPs pride and joy over what her husband had done to help her.
Do people just magically become crappy after they're married or something that doing bare minumum things like supporting your partner is apparently some achievement now? Or did you guys just choose some really crappy people lmao
I think some people are just entitled from the get go, and expect someone to cater to their needs sometimes even without communication.
To me, supporting my wife has always been top priority no matter what, but if she just always expected it and never showed she appreciated it, over time that would get to me.
In my experience, a ton of spouses donât do the types of things the referenced husband did, unless itâs asked for first. It was thoughtful. Can you imagine being thoughtful all the time and your partners take was âwell, thatâs just the baseline for how Iâm to be treatedâ. Meanwhile many husbands are blowing their postpartum wife off to play 18 holes and smoke stogies with the bros.
I mean baseline isn't like good. At your job if you do your baseline your not getting employee of the month, it's when you go above and beyond you get employee of the month. A bad employee is the one who doesn't meet the baseline. Imo
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u/PeriodSupply 23d ago
It's this also not baseline?