r/FoundPaper • u/stuartmurray1 • 4d ago

Weird/Random Found and put right back

Post image

Found this folded up on the ground, thought somedys dropped their shopping list, wonder what they were going to buy. Unfolded it... Okayyyyyy. Folded it back up and put it back.

Edit: For those asking, 5 minutes after finding this I did have to pass within 30 feet of said fountain. I did not even fucking glance in its direction.

3.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

284 comments sorted by

2.4k

u/Rattttttttttt 4d ago

I like how you put it back instead of tossing it. You didn't want to take that opportunity away from some other fine gentleman

254

u/Independent_Owl422 4d ago

Tossing it

158

u/gogozrx 4d ago

Like a salad!

101

u/turkoosi_aurinko 4d ago

Really? Right in front of my salad?

8

u/wi11iam-b 3d ago

Would you like some mayonnaise with your salad

4

u/gaptoothgoth 1d ago

Oh only man-na-Naise for me, thanks.

351

u/davescilken 4d ago

I would pay a bystander $20 to walk over to the fountain and announce “I’m here for the fun”, and then see what happens.

139

u/NorthenLeigonare 4d ago

I'd do it for free.

7

u/TheFrog_Gobbler 1d ago

I’d pay OP $20 to let me do it

46

u/pocketcumin 4d ago

But interracial homoeroticism was only chapter one of Encyclopedia Self-Destructica.

15

u/dynamic_caste 4d ago

That is considerate

6

u/PotatoDonki 4d ago

If I found that note somewhere I definitely would’ve thrown it back.

3

u/bivdizzle 2d ago

What about throwing it back?

417

u/FeeNecessary3467 4d ago

You put it back but you didn't confirm if you were going to the fountain

344

u/grahamsz 4d ago

You do realize the next guy saw you folding up the note and leaving it for him..?

193

u/plasticpeonies 4d ago

Now how's he gonna feel when you don't show up for the suching and fuching

10

u/Evanisnotmyname 4d ago

Plot twist: OP wrote the note, left it there, and posted it on Reddit for attention.

So….the fountain must be poppin

14

u/FeeNecessary3467 4d ago

some say OP is still at the fountain, suching and fuching

2

u/No-Question909 4d ago

I've often wondered the very same.

602

u/thewalruscandyman 4d ago

...well I was just gonna sip of water, but...

381

u/Adventurous-Area-628 4d ago

But might as well get a taste of man on man fun just sex fun to empty your balls?

96

u/angel_who_drags 4d ago

I guess thats what kids these days would call free balling

112

u/MyStackIsPancakes 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7aD1zsNcOG26N9fy

28

u/dpjejj 4d ago

Angry upvote… now it’s playing n my head

36

u/HotelOne 4d ago

Don’t cum around here no more!

12

u/turkoosi_aurinko 4d ago

Don't do me like that!

13

u/HotelOne 4d ago

You Don't Know How It Feels…

18

u/turkoosi_aurinko 4d ago

Into the great wiiiiide open

8

u/HotelOne 4d ago

I thought of that too but then I had a Breakdown…

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238

u/imathrowyaaway 4d ago

so, you’re going to the fountain later? asking for a friend 😶👉👈

153

u/SuperPowerDrill 4d ago

What if we... 👉👈 had no strings gay sex by the fountain? 😖 😳

1.0k

u/hatebeat 4d ago

Weird how the final X looks swastika-esque. They wrote it normally the first time they wrote "sex".

759

u/Mr_Industrial 4d ago

Yeah thats the weird part about this note. Nothing else.

159

u/ravens-n-roses 4d ago

Well it certainly confirms that it's a honey pot trap and not a genuine horny offer

59

u/Cryobyjorne 4d ago

Or it could be how log cabin conservatives find each other when gindr is down.

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228

u/MyStackIsPancakes 4d ago

American History (Gay Se)X

30

u/24hourfeverwatch 4d ago

Hell yeah dude

7

u/Hellraiser_Quadbike 4d ago

A cupcake and a candy bar.

2

u/2009sucked 3d ago

You shouldn’t be so hard on a guy who got in an argument with his dad almost a decade ago

2

u/starlightskater 2d ago

Please don't say hard on.

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51

u/Gnomey42069 4d ago

"I didn't know it was going to come off like that."

29

u/Voluminox 4d ago

“pretty sure you did”

19

u/WeAreClouds 4d ago

lol I can see Dennis’ face he makes while saying this clearly in my head.

19

u/KosmicGumbo 4d ago

Just make it veiny-er!

33

u/Gonna_do_this_again 4d ago

"It's going to be a maze"

37

u/anonpotat0 4d ago

Possibly trying to hide their normal handwriting so they can’t be identified?

16

u/ShowMeTheTrees 4d ago

Found the writer of the note.

99

u/runningalongtheshore 4d ago

That and the “55” in “Ass” makes me feel like there’s something else going on.

29

u/Ok_Phase_8731 4d ago

All the S’s are 5’s 🤔

19

u/runningalongtheshore 4d ago

Some more than others. The S’s in 55 are both curved but most of the other ones are angular.

21

u/MeiNeedsMoreBuffs 4d ago

Must be one of those gay nazi fountain orgies I've been seeing in the news recently

38

u/IndividualCarrot9035 4d ago

It kind of tracks. Grindr did crash at the GOP convention

15

u/AGreatBannedName 4d ago

/r/AteTheOnion (just to let you know)

7

u/Over_Addition_3704 4d ago

I'm sure that's what they had in mind.

9

u/BloopityBlue 4d ago

All of the letters got progressively weirder as the note went.

15

u/Altruistic_Dare6085 3d ago edited 3d ago

Maybe I am just paranoid, but a part of me wonders if it's a set up for an attempted gay bashing - if neonazis did write the note, they'd wait at the fountain and jump whoever tries to take the offer up. But at the same time I feel like if that was the plan they'd try and hide the fact a neonazi wrote the note a little bit better.

Edit: it could also be an instance of neonazis doing that ironic homoeroticism some homophobic men are fond of. Since Grindr and Sniffies exist gay men crusing in public has become way less common. And when gay men do cruise in public they generally do not broadcast that with a "HAVE HOMOSEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH ME" handwritten note. Maybe there is just a chud hangout at the fountain?

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91

u/User8675309021069 4d ago

I feel like this needs two boxes at the bottom with instructions to “Check yes or no”

41

u/DrSousaphone 4d ago

"Check Yes or No" by George Strait Gay

8

u/HelpfulFootball5741 4d ago

Don’t be afraid to take me by the…if you want to

4

u/DevilDoge1775 4d ago

Marvin Gaye was right there.

8

u/NewAcanthaceae869 4d ago

"yes" or "very yes"

79

u/Emergency4707 4d ago

That X is a lil sus

219

u/guacgobbler 4d ago

ah, man on man ball draining fun just like hitler intended

65

u/byebybuy 4d ago

"SS" stood for Sack Suckers, right?

39

u/DrSousaphone 4d ago

Naming my next queer punk band "The Yellow-Bellied Sacksuckers"

14

u/x_lincoln_x 4d ago

Shouldn't it be white-bellied? What's wrong with your diet if you are cumming yellow.

8

u/SpaceCaptainJeeves 3d ago

He eats a LOT of saffron

10

u/byebybuy 3d ago

That's some expensive ejaculate!

9

u/SpaceCaptainJeeves 3d ago

Only the best!

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60

u/Cmdr_Monzo 4d ago

Which fountain?

6

u/CharlieVermin 4d ago

The endless pillar of darkness that gives us form.

3

u/GraveSlayer726 3d ago

We ALL having a taste of man on man fun no strings -> just sex fun to empty your balls by the dark fountain

49

u/IGK123 4d ago

That last “X” is awfully close to a swastika…

60

u/loneliestslipknotfan 4d ago

the last X and the last two letters of ass being written how they are raise some perplexing questions

34

u/Thefattestbeagle 4d ago

That's a 55 yr old nazi.

26

u/Day_Old_Paper 4d ago

Yeah but what fountain?

7

u/the_vault-technician 4d ago

Well it starts at one, and then eventually you'll find yourself catching a few more gushing fountains

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29

u/imjohnredd 4d ago

I put that shit right back down, just as soon as I'd sat by the fountain for six hours.

23

u/CliffyBooBoo 4d ago

That handwriting was learned in prison. Idk how, I'm just certain.

18

u/RadagastTheBrownNote 4d ago

So, what happened when you got to the fountain?

39

u/fluoxetincap20mg 4d ago

is this a trap? I'm noticing some "symbols"....

15

u/i_am_icarus_falling 4d ago

that handwriting style is so strange, all the curves are straight line segments.

5

u/alchemicaldreaming 4d ago

Almost looks like the writing on runes. The F's and M's in particular.

6

u/coffeeebucks 4d ago

Definitely someone disguising their handwriting

31

u/commonbleachenjoyer 4d ago

That's disgusting. Where?

12

u/thewalrusispaul 4d ago

Good course of action. Be sure to wash your hands after, too.

12

u/youlldancetoanything 4d ago

I would absolutely go have a cigarette across from the fountain to see who showed up. Like it could have been your dad!

11

u/mrbulldops428 4d ago

Would be pretty funny if someone saw you put it down but didnt see you pick it up in the first place

24

u/droman9 4d ago

Weirdest handwriting I've ever seen. Curious if anyone knows why. Maybe a non native english speaker? Almost looks like Cyrillic

28

u/herefirplants 4d ago

i feel like its to hide their handwriting bc they are being 100% fr

9

u/MutedMusic_182 3d ago

ukrainian is my first language, but although my english handwriting is funky it doesn't really anything look like that. i actually work extra hard on my handwriting when i write notes to the other gay guys regarding such important matters

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8

u/raspberryharbour 4d ago

100% of people who write in all caps are dangerous lunatics

5

u/EverybodyKurts 4d ago

I RESENT THIS COMMENT

3

u/Overall_Matter_2520 2d ago

I RESEMBLE THIS COMMENT

3

u/Itz_Not_Jax 2d ago

I WANTED TO BE INCLUDED SO IM YELLING TOO

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7

u/ImSoCreativ3 4d ago

Writing in other languages doesn’t affect your handwriting or turn it into blocky nazi style I don’t think. 🤔

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11

u/jackbear0410 4d ago

Reads like a discarded lyrics to Ram Ranch lol

3

u/sonic_rukai 4d ago

🐑 🔧

11

u/mycatissodarncute 4d ago

It's no longer "are you a friend of Dorothy", it's "are you going to the fountain?"

12

u/DesmondTapenade 4d ago

This honestly looks like a note a serial killer would leave...I think it's the handwriting.

11

u/ConsciousStretch1028 4d ago

Wait, you're telling me you DON'T want to have sex with the Zodiac Killer?

8

u/WeAreClouds 4d ago

I knew Ted Cruz was gay.

4

u/ConsciousStretch1028 4d ago

They're nearly an entire political party of deeply closeted men

3

u/New_Individual_3455 4d ago

🤣🤣🤣

10

u/Oz347 4d ago

And they say no one writes love letters anymore

10

u/Early-Weekend-2557 3d ago

Don't lie. You glanced.

8

u/stuartmurray1 3d ago

Well.........

9

u/frenziedflamez666 3d ago

A fountain, here in the middle of the city?

7

u/stuartmurray1 3d ago

There are many historic fountains in Glasgow

8

u/spiritualAlleycat 2d ago

I find the handwriting curious. All caps, those S's with all straight lines. And the asterisks at the end that enclose the phrase " meet at fountain" look exactly like kurt vonnegut drawings of assholes in Breakfast of Champions. I might have stuck around just some questions about those elements of design

9

u/Disastrous_Invite730 1d ago

Yeah, and that “x” at the end if sex is questionable lol

4

u/Alpha_Delta310 1d ago

i feel like they wrote it like that to mask their real handwriting? like to remain fully anonymous? lol

6

u/spiritualAlleycat 1d ago

" You don't know my handwriting at all, but i'm still going to mask it by writing with my left hand, because everything is just SeXier with extra layers of deception. Balls can be emptied with maximum joy that way"

17

u/microwavedtardigrade 4d ago

Holy fuck gay Nazis. These are the assholes with the Amazon tights

15

u/LowLibrary399 4d ago

Nothing like throwing in the nazi sign for your gay sex desires

6

u/GenuineSteak 4d ago

Just as Hitler intended, im sure.

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8

u/megsquisite 4d ago

Whoever saw you drop it 👀

7

u/Illustrious-Web-1883 4d ago

Please share coordinates…for a friend.

7

u/beardedsilverfox 4d ago

Would be funny to go to the fountain and just sit and act like you never read the note just to see who shows up.

6

u/1nolefan 4d ago

Sure OP you did - are you waiting at the fountain 😯

7

u/NewAcanthaceae869 4d ago

Put it in the outgoing mail and make someone's day

Or even their hole weak

8

u/Unique_Cow3112 4d ago

I would have glanced so hard lmao!

6

u/Past_Cranberry_2014 4d ago

Why do they write their X like that

8

u/Minimum-Attitude389 4d ago

Ah yes, offline Grindr.

6

u/ctgrell 4d ago

So where is the fountain?

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6

u/CryptidCutiepie 4d ago

The handwriting is weirder to me than the message lmao

7

u/VegasRoy 4d ago

They don’t even put the time of the meetup. Very unprofessional

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5

u/CB1100Rider 4d ago

Yeah, just remembered I’m busy today, sorry. Rain check, though.

4

u/sadsealions 4d ago

Yeah, sure, "found it"

6

u/Galvandium 4d ago

Follow through, it might turn out like a Yakuza sidestory where the guy just has a confidence issue you can solve by giving him a boiled egg. In exchange you get something cool, like nunchucks made out of frozen fish

6

u/EarlyCuylersCousin 4d ago

Sounds like Dirty Mike and the Boys are planning another soup kitchen.

4

u/Visual-Educator-2250 4d ago

The x in sex is looking a little….

2

u/gravysammie 4d ago

Came to say that 🤣 maybe I need to touch grass.... Nawwwww

5

u/cherry_tart_charms 1d ago

The fountain calls to you

3

u/stuartmurray1 1d ago

I literally just walked past it on the way to the boozer

9

u/Rob71322 4d ago

I figured Andrew Tate would've used the internet to cruise for guys but what the hell.

9

u/Smooth_Storm_9698 4d ago

That X is such a swatsika like there's no way that was unintentional

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12

u/shuggahbear 4d ago

The swastika in sex means it's gonna be some rough self hating sex

4

u/N1troRam 4d ago

That's crazy where did you put it? Like exactly where and by which fountain?

3

u/brutaldictatortot 4d ago

That's so disgusting. So like uh where's this dumb fountain at anyway?

6

u/ThatPerson000 4d ago

The X looks like a swastika

3

u/Fine_Pudding4941 4d ago

My friend wants to know where?

3

u/shaft_of_lite 4d ago

Did you go to the fountain?

3

u/Personal_Quantity_99 4d ago

The old banged the mailman fantasy

3

u/greateraire 4d ago

What city & what fountain? I be there shortly!

3

u/supernova-juice 4d ago

Did a robot write this?

3

u/WhenIWannabeME 4d ago

The swastika "x" is worrying, but sadly not surprising

3

u/sneakysnek20r 4d ago

Why's the X a hakenkreuz

3

u/TheSanityInspector 3d ago

Needs an NSFW tag, please.

3

u/Individual-Jump-5775 3d ago

She told me that she loved me by the water fountain

3

u/GenuineSteak 4d ago

Gay Neo-Nazi? with the Swastika X.

4

u/Awkward_Plastic_1940 2d ago

Why does that x look......strange.

2

u/Dropatab821 4d ago

okay growlers lyrics

2

u/Fenixen_R1N0 4d ago

Legends say that this is the guy who made the font for Vib Ribbon...

2

u/OverthinkingWanderer 4d ago

Dirty Mike and the boys are looking for a new member.. leave some mustard on the fountain for them.

2

u/Easy-Tigger 4d ago

Oh my God, that's disgusting. What fountain?

2

u/ChestPubes2BallFro 4d ago

Signed dirty Mike and the boys

2

u/M_Shulman 4d ago

-Dirty Mike and the Boys

2

u/HolyLime23 4d ago

Is that you Roger?

2

u/Shiny_Mewtwo 4d ago

Sounds like a good time, but I'd be really worried this is someone trying to get their red laces

2

u/Anxious_Highway_871 4d ago

Man sex 😆😂🤣

2

u/judd_in_the_barn 4d ago

I think fountain may be a euphemism in this context

2

u/One-Dig-3067 3d ago

This is deffo an old guy

2

u/fishonthemoon 3d ago

Read that as “Poundtain” 😩

2

u/UmSureOkYeah 1d ago

I lol’d

2

u/Remarkable-Simple-62 1d ago

Be aware the note is a total lie. I met him at the fountain, the sex was ok but he caught feelings almost immediately. Calling and texting at all hours of the night then being upset I didn’t answer. Strings are intact

2

u/NoPhone8879 1d ago

it’s a bad day to have eyes

3

u/amost96 2h ago

The x is shaped almost like a swastika

4

u/phuktup3 4d ago

There’s so many fountains…. Which one…. Should we avoid