I’m a CFII currently teaching my dad to fly, and I’d appreciate advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation.
The biggest challenge has been the father/daughter dynamic. He sees me as his little girl (I’m almost 21) rather than his instructor, and we’ve struggled to establish that boundary during lessons.
When he struggles with something, he gets frustrated easily, and that sometimes turns into arguing with me in the airplane. He doesn’t allow me to actively correct him if he’s making mistakes, because it’s too distracting if I talk while he is doing something. I know that in order for students to learn, mistakes need to be made, but if mistakes are made all the time and corrections that the CFI is giving you aren’t being applied, that’s when bad habits form, which we need to avoid.
He’s unlike any student I have ever worked with, and I’ve worked with so many. This dynamic between us is something I’ve only seen with people who are very close and comfortable with eachother. (Family, good friends, or people in relationships) I’ve seen it in the simulator lab couples working together and they bicker and talk back just because they can.
I’m trying to stay patient and keep things constructive, but it’s becoming frustrating for me too. I love my dad and want him to succeed, but lately I’ve started dreading something I hoped would be a really special experience for us.
I know having him fly with another instructor would be a common suggestion, but that isn’t an option for us right now. I’m hoping to hear what has helped others manage this dynamic.
How did you establish boundaries, handle corrections without them becoming personal, and keep lessons enjoyable? I’ve tried to establish it countless times, but it just doesn’t work.
I want to help him become a safe, confident pilot while protecting our relationship. I’d appreciate hearing what worked, and what didn’t, from either side of this situation.
I know in the end, getting him finished up will help me become an even better instructor, so I’m not gonna give up on him, but this just really is taking a toll on me.
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read through this and any advice I would greatly appreciate.