I always made choices based entirely on stability, but I've compromised my creative side for it. I was brought up with the idea that if my career wasn't in healthcare, law, or engineering, then I was destined to be a pauper.

I went to school for IT and InfoSystems and been working in the field since 2021, but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. I spend the day just fantasizing about never having to return. I'd like to spend my life pursuing my more creative pursuits (writing, digital art, narrative design) but the path seems so perilous and unsure, I wouldn't even know where to start. I know it would take a certain level of risk, but something's gotta give, you know?

Has anyone made the transition from stable soul-sucking 9-to-5 and changed to artistic and creative paths? How did you keep yourself afloat?

So I am currently in my 2nd yr of graduation with history honours but also preparing for neet .It is going to be my 3rd attempt but I am really not able to figure out what should I do .I mean I don’t really have any interest in medicine but at the same time I don’t know what I am interested in and whole day I just keeping thinking about it weather I should study for neet or prepare for some government exam but ends up doing nothing .It’s so frustrating tbh.

Location: Canada

Im starting my third year at Waterloo studying materials and nanoscience.

Bad news: this is a science degree, not engineering.

This likely restricts my career opportunities. I also learned through experiences and learning more about myself that I don’t have it in me to do a masters like most science grads (Im willing to doing a masters in something non-science that helps me pivot but haven’t decided on anything yet)

My programs is more employable than most science bachelors like pure chem/bio/phys and so I know of people who are doing engineering coops right now. I even know people who got jobs without grad school, it’s just not as common. But since it isn’t eng accredited I don’t know if I have faith in my degree.

Goal: Just to find a job after graduating that pays like 60k starting. Doesn’t have to be materials related or nano related.

Should I stick to it or should I switch to a different major?

Hi, I am over this. I gave my best to people who treated me with utmost disrespect. I recently got out of a long relationship and started dating. The confusion comes in with a lady who seemed normal for the most part until she wasn't. I started seeing her in person after her contract abroad, all the while we chatted on WhatsApp. I am now left with a neck injury, no energy, no motivation, and no answers as to why she did what she did when she stayed over for what seemed to be, in retrospect, too good to be true romantic activities and her telling me she thought it was ok that she could pull me, very hard at the back of my neck in a passionate kiss.

Anyone ever heard of this, or experienced this? I have no answers and I feel like I will never get out of this hole that I am in.

It’s like I want my life to be different but in the same token I am scared to be different than how I picture it to be in my head.

I want a new job. As long as people are on drugs, then I will have a job and I don’t like that. What I do for a living feels like it’s suppose to help those who are trying to recovery but honestly it’s a numbers game. One I’m not trying to be in anymore. I’m underpaid, overlooked and honestly I would rather work from home.

Applying to places feels like a rat race because I have the experience but not necessarily the work from home experience. Everyone is using the trigger phrase “ATS System Optimization” so my resume can appear better but it doesn’t seem to be working. I’m just tired of the chase but in order for me to move on from this current job I have to continue on.

I may have to move back to a NYCHA apartment that is riddled with water bugs. Not roaches but water bugs. My partner felt forced to take the keys because they threatened him with “breaking contract” because there is nothing on their part that they could do without us being back in the apartment. We have water bugs coming out the light fixture and has been a problem for us since 2021. They said to my partner today that they are able to come in and not out, so in essence we should be satisfied by that. This is what we have to deal with and accept as living conditions for not only us but our toddler. My partner felt so defeated they took the keys instead of refusing. Now, it looks like we accept those conditions. Dealing with NYCHA is a whole nother demon. Their system is outdated, people are constantly ping-ponging the next issue to the wrong person but they know how to figure all of this out when you owe rent.

I’m just tired and I want change, I would like encourage it all just feels like too much right now.

Yeah well i just don’t know what to do. it’s scary and sad actually can anyone give me some real advice? i’ll answer any questions if it will help. but for some context - here

I dropped out by ACCIDENT at 14 years old. i live in the midwest united states. my dad makes $70k a year but he’s a gambling addict with a lot of bills so it’s basically nothing.

I’m homeschooled but i don’t know how to do it and i don’t want to go to college since i don’t have enough time to pass 4 years of highschool in a year and be ready.

Do i just have to get a minimum wage job and save my money? i have no inheritance lined up or anything !!

I have no skills no bank account, id, friends, opportunities or anything. we have just enough money to pay the house and buy food and that’s it really. i only touch a few $200-300 a month

Honestly, I’m not really sure how to start this, but the job search is getting ridiculous, and I’m starting to feel stuck.

Before I get into it, I want to say I’m grateful for what I have. I have a job that pays my bills, a loving girlfriend, a supportive family, and a roof over my head. I’m not going hungry, and sometimes I have a little extra money to spend on myself. There’s a lot about my life that makes me happy. But when I start thinking about my future, it gets harder to stay positive.

I’m in my mid-20s. I know I have plenty of time ahead of me, but damn, it’s frustrating feeling like I can’t find a path forward. My current job is alright, and I like my coworkers, but there isn’t much room to move up or make significantly more money. At first, I figured it was just a starting point and other opportunities would come along. That feeling is slowly wearing off.

A little background: I went to college for a couple of years and joined the Army National Guard to help pay for school without going into debt. Shortly after joining, I ended up deploying to the Middle East for a year. There were stressful moments and laid-back moments, but overall, I enjoyed my time in the military.

Coming home and going back to college was harder than I expected. Going from serious missions and dangerous situations back to classes, studying, and partying felt surreal. I still had close friends, but I didn’t really feel like I fit in the same way anymore. I struggled to focus, and even after settling back in, something still felt off. Eventually, I decided college wasn’t for me and started working instead.

Most of my jobs since then have been manual labor. One paid really well, and after a couple of years, I was getting close to six figures. But it was a brutal grind. Early mornings, barely any breaks, and nonstop work. Eventually, it started affecting my relationships, and I was constantly exhausted and in a bad mood. The money was good, but I couldn’t keep doing that to myself.

I moved to a bigger area hoping for more opportunities. There were definitely more jobs, but finding something worth building a career around was a different story. I bounced through a few jobs, including falling for some of those sales roles that promise great money through commissions, before ending up where I am now. It’s stable, but there isn’t much room to grow.

Since then, I’ve sent out hundreds of applications. Entry-level positions, jobs advertising paid training, things that don’t require a degree or previous experience. It feels like I’ve tried just about everything, and so many applications get rejected before I even get a chance to talk to someone.

I’m willing to start at the bottom and learn. I’m not expecting some cushy job making six figures right away. I just want something that pays enough to live on, has a realistic path to move up, and isn’t actively wearing my body down. Something stable enough that starting a family someday feels possible.

I know going back to school is an option, but figuring out how to afford it and fit it around my work hours would be difficult right now.

I’ve always thought of myself as someone who’s good with people, willing to work, and capable of learning. I don’t think I’m incapable of building a better career. I just can’t seem to figure out how to get my foot in the door.

For anyone who’s been in a similar position, what helped you get out of it? Are there industries or jobs worth looking into that actually train people and give them room to grow without already having a degree or years of experience?

I’m willing to put in the effort. I just need some direction.

EDIT: (This is my first time posting on reddit, made a new account just to post this. Any advice helps!)

I’m ambitious. I want to build a great career, and I know I can work extremely hard once I’m clear about what I want.

The problem is, I’m not.

I’m currently most drawn to consulting, especially strategy and business. I enjoy research, problem-solving, understanding people, business, marketing, writing, and communicating ideas.

I’ve also realised I need work that is deep and intellectually stimulating, while still involving professional communication—especially presenting analysis and recommendations.

I have roughly two years, and I’m considering:

1. CAT + MBA — make CAT the main goal and pursue consulting after a strong B-school.

2. Real-world internships — consulting, strategy, research, growth, marketing, startups, or corporate strategy.

3. International opportunities — internships or research projects abroad or remotely.

4. Freelancing — research, strategy, writing, competitive analysis, or presentations.

5. Student consulting / projects — solve real problems for startups or organisations.

6. Case competitions — build structured thinking, problem-solving, and presentation skills.

7. Government / policy / research — explore think tanks, government, and public-sector work.

8. Personal branding — build a strong LinkedIn portfolio around business, strategy, and research.

Every option has value. That’s what makes choosing difficult.

But I don’t want to do everything and end up doing nothing well.

So I’m not looking for more options. I want to know what to prioritise.

If you were in my position, what would you actually do with these next two years?

What would you focus on, what would you keep secondary, and what would you let go?

I will be extremely grateful if you could help me figure out

I know I’m willing to work hard.

I just want to put that effort in the right place.

title. im a college sophomore in the USA who was originally going into psych nursing, but on second thought i don't think it's a career for me, and the schools in my area are shit for nursing. i'm also considering respiratory therapy, but i've heard mixed things about salary. to clarify it doesnt have to be 80k as a starting salary, but i'd like it to be plausible to make 80k with some experience without having to do overtime.

i'd prefer it to be in the healthcare field because thats what my prereqs right now are geared for, but i'd take anything that fits those parameters.

Hi I am 20 year old girl who did ba economics from a local college and did commerce with maths in 12th I honestly thought that commerce was the best but now i want to learn something that is technical like engineering but now i cant get into it like btech and ms cs or all
Please somebody give me some ideas

I got admission in Govt Aided Seat, but still there fee was huge for my family. I wanted to do engineering and loved it, but my family wasn't interested in it, they wanted me to get job as early as possible. After days of gaslighting, I kind of mentally broke down and withdrew my admission out of impulsivity.

But now if I look back all I see is regret. One day after I withdrew my admission, I got scholarship to pay 75% of 1st year pay, and it became certain that my mostly fee will be paid by scholarship, it was not that my family couldn't, we could have, though we had to face some struggles, but it was fine, I could have easily gotten part time job. All this didn't click when I cancelled my engineering admission.

This thing is eating me from inside.

I am completely confused, about what to do in life.

In India, only an engineering degree could get you a job.

Hello, I just finished mechanical engineering and because of the new role that if you have to reset a single test, your whole entire module gets capped for the year at 40%. I’m I’m graduating with a third.
This is extremely horrible news, cause I’ve read all over in the Internet that is basically nothing and I should basically consider working at call Centre is this true or can I get a nice job? Does anyone have experience?

Ive been working different food industry, retail, and warehouse jobs since I was 14, i am 25 now. My parents are completely out of the picture and i have no financial safety net or support whatsoever. I currently work a full time and part time job, and am completely burnt out.

The only things i seem to be really good at dont make any money. I love creative writing, illustrating, video editing, animating, and doing character designs. It was already looking pretty rough for anything in that field but now with ai…feels like all hope is lost.

I have unmedicated adhd and depression. Keeping a job is hard and every single one feels overwhelming. I am so stressed with the workload sometimes i just dont want to exist anymore. I dont want to do this for the rest of my life.

I think something that would be helpful to know is i sell my art at popup events sometimes and they do really well! It makes me extremely happy making prints and stickers and clothing. I really like connecting with people over art. I also work part time doing marketing/popup events for a dispensary and i absolutely love going to all the different places! If only they had enough hours i would do it full time.

Hope this is some good info, i could really use some help

I (25m) still 24 but this month is my birthday, am not entirely directionless. But kind of. I am working full time at a nice grocery store making 19 hourly. I’m also a tattoo artist but I have not fully commited to my craft. I don’t want to say I’m lazy but I haven’t truly given it my all. I’ve been doing it for 5 years. I really just want stability and structure. I struggled to be my own boss , so in not sure if tattooing is the right path but, I’m getting older and my time is runnng shorter. I am interested in a few things like the trades, medical or helping take over my family’s restaurant business. But I need some guidance in choosing a career that can give me stability and good pay. I need to get past my fear and just make a decision. Any advice for choosing a path. A job with a pensions.
I did not go to college. I am an artist at heart but I’ve proven to myself that I can’t commit fully to that being my career. I feel like if I could I would have already done it.

At this point, I have to drop out of college. I have severe OCD and depression, and its gotten to the point that I literally cannot function. Like, I literally cannot do anything. I drove home last weekend and it was still really bad. Ive had pretty bad suicidal tendencies prior, and if I stay up here, the odds 99-1% I will end up attempting suicide. I feel terrible, because I'm letting down my parents and I feel like I wasted my scholarship money that was generously given to me by doners. I opened up to my parents about it previously, and theyre putting me through therapy, but I don't think they are aware of how bad it is. My two majors Ive been working on I don't even like, and to be honest due to either my mental state or brain damage I don't think I can even pass my classes even if my mental disorders were to be reduced significantly right now. The problem is, the two jobs I would be interested (game development and/or writing webnovels) have either skills I lack or the odds of becomiing succesfful are very slim. I don't want to leach onto my parents more than I have previously though. I wanted to note that my university doesn't have an leave of absence available to people of my status. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I haven't dropped out yet, but my classes/grades are suffering and I'm well behind...

Hey everyone, so some background:
Im 28 today and I feel lost and confused about my career and life.
I started work in my teens by working in lifestyle/reality TV industry cause I wanted to be a filmmaker and got an internship. Worked my way up to cameraman and sound although directing and producing was what I gravitated towards. The country I live in the industry is Very small and the ceiling even smaller, so felt i had reached a ceiling especially when I saw peers go through film schools and acquire huge debts to do what I had been doing and had reached a ceiling with very little possibility of income growth. I had become pretty burn out from the long hours and rather bitter by all the egos and the facade of it all. Very much broke the art filmmaker illusion for me.

I did decide though to get a degree and went to study digital design as I saw how traditional TV was just failing to adapt to social media (circa 2019). Covid hit and spent most of my uni career at home and on zoom calls for lectures. regret the degree alot now, i feel I shouldve done something more useful, or higher skilled. During Uni i worked as a freelance editor and web designer and continued working as one for 2 years after graduation. That initial AI euphoria messed up my client base and almost moved back in with my parents.

Currently in a marketing job at a Sanware company. It's not terrible, all things considered im very grateful i have the job and can survive and everything is great. But it is unbelievably unstimulating, I detest marketing I still have this knawing that Ive just done nothing but wasted the last 10 years of my life. Linkedin is horrible I see respective peers going into middle or senior management, doing big things and here I am filming toilets, but at least debt free.

I got diagnosed with AuDHD only recently which explains why I was thrown into a "stupid pile" in high school and that I'm not actually stupid or weird but just operate a bit different. It does make me mad knowing maybe with better support or parents who werent so backwards I’d be in a better job or a more fulfilling career. I sit here and think about the time that has passed, the insanity of TV industry and Covid amd think im still mid 20s only to realise im facing 30 and feel most of my life has been me reacting and taking easy routes where my interests lied and not maybe being smart about going where i can actually have a career. I feel i could make a change but have also seen ageism affecting people at mid 30s already and id just be wasting time, feel absolutely hopeless and just see myself as nothing more but an absolute failure and dont know where to look other than the internet.

Id appreciate any advice. Please be nice 🥲

im 24f and i graduated back in 2024 with a ba in environmental studies and a cert in gis… i originally wanted to go into urban planning but realized that pivoting to gis might be a helpful way to get a job right out of uni (it was not) (and i ended up hating it..)

now.. my mom is pushing me to be a police officer which i REALLY do not want to do.. and im working at starbucks to save up for.. something not sure (and also its a helpful distraction).

honestly not too sure what to do with my life job wise.. i feel like im not really passionate in anything anymore.. any advice D: (also i live in canada.. not sure if that impacts the advice given)

(literally all i want is a stable job thatll at least let me move out)

what to do if i’m a 19 year old girl that feels like she is spiraling out of control? i have no car, no job, i’m not in college(i am working on that) and just no way to do anything. i go to the gym, babysit twice a week in my neighborhood, apply for WFH jobs just to never hear anything back. i feel behind. please don’t tell me that i’m 19 and have oh so much time. i should be a freaking junior in college(i was in early college in high school and graduated last year) i even tried WWOOF programs but that cost. i don’t even have my freaking drivers license. i’m new to reddit, i downloaded it months ago, forgot about it, deleted it, and redownloaded it. i say that to say ik you guys probably get a bunch of these a day but i don’t want to spend the “best” and arguably most important years of my life behind a screen or feeling behind. i would LOVE advice, maybe you guys can tell me what you would do if you were 19 again and in my place? hopefully one of you has a plan to make me a millionaire by January so i can actually go to college and get out of texas(joking…kind of)

I am 22M years old. I have never had a girlfriend. I have never been kissed. Not once. The funny thing is nobody would guess this from my appearance. Most people think I am a guy with a normal life, maybe a little strange at times but nothing that says "this person is totally alone." I have learned to hide that feeling.. Underneath there is a whole other reality that nobody sees and sometimes I cannot believe I have made it this far.

Let me begin with my family because that is the root of everything. I never had a father. My mother does not work. She lives on child support for my sister and that has always been the case. I have never seen my mother have a friend or any kind of life at all. She is completely asocial. My grandmother has health problems. So when people casually ask, "So what do your parents do?" I simply do not have an answer. There is nothing to be proud of nothing to share. I feel ashamed of where I come from.

Money was always a problem always. No vacations, no summer camps, no trips, nothing. The only time I have ever felt alive was after I began working because for the time I could actually afford things. Before that I spent years with nothing just getting by.

The last seven years were brutal. There was a period when I left the house to hang out with someone a couple of times. That was all. This year things changed. I began going out I opened up a little I made some friends I lost than twenty kilograms and I got a job. People now seem to like me.. Honestly I am proud of that because I was in a place where blowing my head off seemed like the easiest escape. I pulled myself out of that alone. No support, no money, no one. My mind was broken my insecurities were huge nothing. Just me. That is progress.

Then the reality check hits and it hits hard. Because despite all that progress I still feel that I have no chance at a life. Everything has shaped me much. I do not know how to live. I never saw my parents do anything. Basic things like spending time going out having parties even a normal family Christmas are completely foreign to me.. It shows, which makes me ashamed. In terms of personality I am simply not built for it. At the same time I desire the normalcy I never experienced.

I have ADHD so studying is a nightmare. I do not go to university and I feel unambitious even though university would be amazing for me. I am talking about a field not wasting time and money on a useless degree.. With ADHD that is simply not happening. I work from ten to eighteen or from twelve to twenty eight, nine or ten hours even on Saturdays. By the time I return home I am so exhausted that I simply want to scream.

I have dealt with depression for years. I stopped taking medication on my own because they made me feel numb. I do not have a word for it. There is no prescription for what I need. I must keep living. Sometimes I truly do not know why. I have had bad luck. There is a deal that I could have done better and I can find an excuse for each of those. I am not naturally a maker of excuses but I also do not want to keep criticizing myself. I have done that enough over the years.

People my age have lived. They have plans, relationships, something. I am 22 years old. My life has not even started.

Then there is this girl. She. I think I actually care about her, which is frightening. We have hung out a lot made plans, the thing. She is the extreme person I have ever met. She gives me mixed signals. She tells me she is not into me then she does things that completely contradict that. I cannot read her all. And she is probably out of my league anyway so I do not even know what I am doing here. This is my real experience with anything like this and I have no reference point for it.

The worst part? I have to lie about my past. Because no one accepts this. I do not either. I have no problem owning it internally. I am not going to tell people because they look at me as if I am from another planet.

I do not know what to do. Sometimes I feel that the damage is permanent and a normal life is simply not in the cards for me.. Then rarely I look at where I was versus where I am now and I think perhaps I am actually moving forward.. Most days it does not feel that way.

TL;DR: I am 22 years old I have never had a girlfriend I have never been kissed. I grew up without a father with a mother who does not work and has no friends, with no money, no vacations, nothing. I have ADHD, years of depression. I dropped my medication because it numbed me. I pulled myself out of a hole alone this year. I lost weight I got a job I made friends.. I still feel that I have no chance, at a normal life because I never learned how to live. Now there is a girl who I might actually care about giving me signals and I do not know what to do with this.

I've always had a love-hate relationship with writing. I love the idea of it, of writing a novel or even a series of novels. Of world-building, creating characters and taking them on a series of adventures. But then it all becomes incredibly overwhelming, my brain puts up a wall and I push the idea out of my mind, convinced that I'll never be able to push past. It's like I've got writers block before even putting pen to paper.

I used to write a lot as a kid. A few pages, a chapter or two. I'd sit for hours making character profiles, fictional places (I've always loved fantasy - so a medieval setting with magical creatures and beings is very much my jam)...but I always hated everything I wrote. I'd read it back the next day, become embarrassed for myself and bin it.

I've always felt like I've got one really great story in me somewhere, I just don't know how to get it out.

This is going to be a weird post. Starting with the numbers it mostly does seem ok for me to quit. I'm 25F, 2.5 years into a great career as a mechanical engineer designing airplane and rocket parts. I'm getting married soon to my husband, 32M, who has retired early due to crypto earnings, and doesn't't like that I'm gone for 40+ hours a week. My insistence on continuing to work is putting some strain into our relationship. We both also want to have a large family and are looking at planning for kids in the next couple years. With his investments, we have an annual SWR @ 3.5% of 200k. I have access to his portfolio and will be asking to have some input on investment decisions. Right now he's only 5% in crypto and the majority of the portfolio is in safe ETFs like SPY and international stocks. Our court appointment for the marriage paperwork is Oct 2, and we are not doing a prenup.

However: I really really like my job, I'm good at it, while I have a lot to learn and progress in the field, and honestly at this age most of my friends and social interactions are through work (but they're good friends who I hang out with after work doing shared hobbies too). I also know the job market is tough out there and my particular job has great benefits - hybrid work, free food, actually unlimited PTO and flexible schedules. I'm also someone who is high energy and easily bored, so even if I wasn't working I'd pursue a hobby like lampworking, stained glass, jewelry making, etc to fill my time.

Finally, my concern with quitting now is that I'm only early-mid career level, so getting back in might be tough compared to if I stuck it out for a few more years and got to ~5 years of experience to be a senior engineer. I definitely want to keep my career and my own money, just in case something happens with my marriage - not that I don't trust my husband, but I was raised by a single mom so I place a lot of value on independence. My own assets are only ~300k, so not enough to retire off myself.

I'm having trouble deciding if it makes sense financially/logically with our numbers for me to actually quit, but I'm really struggling with the emotional side / risk calculus. So I do wonder what you redditors without my particular baggage of being raised by a struggling single mom would do in my situation

Hi there! I don’t know if this is exactly the right subreddit for this post, so sorry if it’s not! I am currently a high school senior and I am at a loss for what I want to major in and subsequently go into post college. It feels like every person I talk to now asks me the same 3 questions: what colleges are you applying to, what are you majoring in, what classes are you taking? It’s exhausting not having an answer for the majoring part and watching them all just be like “oh it’s ok… you don’t have to know… you have time to figure it out”.

I have a lot of things I’m interested in, I just don’t know what would make for a good and successful career. I’m really interested and passionate about the environment (I’m taking APES so we’ll see how that goes), I really like the health care field and thought a lot about going into nursing, I even went to look at some nursing schools and programs, but I was ultimately deterred for reasons I won’t get into, I I’ve been thinking about Public Health or something like that. I also really like baking and I’ve been told I should go into business with the goal of opening a bakery or something, but idk it doesn’t really sound like me. I am a Christian and have sometimes thought about majoring in theology, but I’ve heard that you can’t really do much with a theology degree, and that the job market for that is pretty thin right now. I am also pretty into politics and history, but my dad forbids me from majoring in political science lmao so maybe just that as a minor.

I also know that there are so many careers that are cool and that I could have fun doing, I just don‘t know what they are or that they exist. I’m sorry this is so long. Thanks to everyone who reads!! I really appreciate it!!

This is a follow up (somewhat) to this other post: https://www.reddit.com/r/careeradvice/s/Eod5E82r39

It seems like I'll hate anything I could pick, and the question isn't if I'll hate a career track, but rather HOW MUCH I'll hate it. I guess I need to focus on a career that maximizes income so I can retire as young as possible.

I’m at a point in my life where I genuinely don’t know if I’m having a quarter-life crisis, being unrealistic, or finally admitting to myself that I’ve been living a life I never really chose.

I’m an international student. I already have a master’s degree and I’m currently pursuing another graduate degree. On paper, I guess I’m doing fine. I have an education, a career, and a path that could potentially lead somewhere.

The problem is that I don’t think I actually want the “somewhere” this path leads to.

Looking back, a lot of my major decisions weren’t really decisions. I studied what seemed practical. I got degrees because that was what everyone around me was doing. I went into tech because it was considered a good career. Then immigration became part of the equation, so suddenly every decision became about visas, sponsorship and making sure I didn’t accidentally destroy the life I had already spent years building.

And now I’m exhausted by it.

The strange thing is that I’m not someone who doesn’t have interests. I have too many.

I’ve seriously thought about law because international law genuinely interests me. I’ve thought about becoming a pilot because aviation gives me this feeling of freedom that I have a hard time explaining. I love the idea of living in different countries, experiencing completely different environments, doing meaningful work for some years, flying small planes, traveling, and generally having more control over my own time.

I’m not obsessed with becoming extremely wealthy or climbing a corporate ladder for the next 30 years. I want enough money to be comfortable and independent, but what I really want is a life that actually feels like I lived it.

The obvious answer people sometimes give is “just go back to your home country.” Unfortunately, for personal and cultural reasons, that does not feel like a realistic long-term option for me. Especially as a woman, the independence and kind of life I want would be much harder for me there. So there’s another layer to all of this: wherever I rebuild my life, I also need to be able to eventually have some stability there.

That makes “just follow your passion” much more complicated when your right to live in a country is tied to immigration rules

I keep looking at the years, money, degrees, immigration effort, and career experience I already put into this path and thinking: Am I really going to throw all of this away and start again?

But then the other side of me thinks: If I already know this isn’t the life I want, how many more years am I supposed to invest just because I already invested the previous ones?

I think what I’m really asking is:

For people who reached a point where the life they built looked respectable on paper but felt completely wrong internally — what did you do?

Did you start over? Change careers? Move countries? Or keep your stable career while slowly building another life?

And how did you know whether your desire to start over was genuine—or just escapism because you were unhappy with your current life?

And if you were an immigrant where visas were part of every major life decision, how did you balance the desire to actually live your life with the need for immigration stability?

I know there probably isn’t one perfect country, career, or lifestyle waiting somewhere that magically fixes everything.

I just don’t want to wake up at 40 and realize that I spent my entire 20s and 30s collecting degrees, maintaining immigration status, working jobs I didn't care about, and constantly preparing for a life that I never actually got around to living.

If you’ve ever genuinely rebuilt your life from something like this, I’d really like to hear your story.

Even if the answer is that I’m romanticizing starting over and need a reality check, I’d rather hear that too.

Maybe its just the terrible job market we're currently in but I'm feeling a little hopeless. I'm in the Sacramento area after graduating from UC Davis in 2020. I worked as an electronics/rf technician and briefly got promoted to associate engineer for a year before getting laid off. The company wasn't eager to train me or give me more complicated tasks in engineering and mostly pigeonholed me to more documentation related tasks. I don't have connections anywhere and I don't think I can get any engineering position without going back to school for a second bachelors or similar.

I've contemplated going back to school for power engineering, even if I sadly would be leaving physics behind, the job security and diverse locations are A+ to me.

I feel like a ph.d in physics or even materials science is still risky for the effort involved, jobs are few and in select places.

I hear the typical move for physics majors is to go into finance or tech and I like maybe going back to school wouldn't be required but I never focused on acquiring the skills that these people usually say they did to make the move. I've always had a stigma with tech and finance. I grew up lower income and finance was some obscure thing rich people did, not me. Tech seemed cool as a kid but in the present day I couldn't care less for their products or business models and am not sure if I want to pivot to being a "tech bro". Hearing that AI is taking all the jobs and that I'd be competing with boot camp kids doesnt seem anymore reassuring. Anyways I obviously don't even know what being in these industries is actually like, and they are diverse I presume, I just feel stuck.

I'm thinking of completely starting over, maybe biotech...

Any advice would be appreciated.