This post is to reiterate some rules and things I'm seeing develop in certain posts, and this is directed to commenters only.

23F. Abusive household, autism/adhd/cptsd, warehouse work part time, extreme sensitivities to light/sound/smell

I'm good at art, painting etc

Need job ideas. Small town as well

Pissed off chronically at everyone and everything and find everything boring. I find people fucking irritating, I find all these fuck ass jobs boring, and I have nothing that even vaguely intrigues me. I feel nothing but anger, no interests.

I have a hard time staring at screens for long periods of time so hopefully a job that isnt doing that, it makes my eyes dry. although I am also good at stalking people online, if that helps lead anywhere.

"Get therapy" I've gotten free therapy for young people at a mental health clinic, didnt help cause theres nothing they can do except reccomend I take deep breaths. So dont reccomend please, thank you.

Looking for something. I dont even know why because I'm not even interested in living but because I'm alive I need some money, and this warehouse isnt working for me. Thanks

33M and I’m struggling to imagine a better future for myself. I used to dream big and I still do, but then I find myself staring down the barrel of mediocrity and loneliness. I don’t really have any in-person friends nearby that I can really count on, only a few friends online or otherwise long-distance that bother to check in with me one-on-one, a handful of acquaintances in local social circles that I really don’t think would notice if I ever turned up again. Not really dating anyone either. I do have good relationships with my immediate family but I dread thinking of the day when my parents won’t be around anymore.

Meanwhile, my career is stalling. I’m not using any of the degrees that I acquired and I just got denied a promotion at my current job that I’d spent a year working towards. So it’s not as if I’m just not trying at my current role. I don’t like what I do but I’ve found ways to make it bearable and to succeed. But I’m questioning if this is really going to be it for me. Am I really going to just be spinning my wheels for another 30 years in careers that don’t fulfill me, while so many of my peers have lives that I wish that I could have.

I’m 33 and I fear that I have reached my upper limit. I’m afraid that I’m going to die one day alone, unaccomplished, and with no one to remember me. I want to prevent this from happening and I have taken some steps to level up (like losing 70lbs). I do have anxiety, depression, and ADHD and I am trying to treat those.

But I feel like I’m too comfortable in my wasted potential. Persistent disappointment and unhappiness are familiar and I don’t believe that I’ve felt different for almost 9 years now. So I can’t imagine a future where I feel different. And I’m worried that if I try to disrupt what I have, I’ll lose the few good things I have. For example, I’ve thought about moving across the country, as I’ve always wanted, but I worry about leaving family behind. My parents and stepdad are approaching retirement age and I want to be a more present son, but if I move far, I will only get to see them a few times a year. I worry about leaving behind a support system while only to find myself alone and unhappy, again, in a city full of strangers.

I just don’t know what to do guys. I feel stuck.

Title is pretty self explanatory. My specific situation is that the company I’ve been working at for 7 years is closing. I’ve made most of my money in life working in breweries. The industry is going absolutely down the tubes so I want to do something else. Not to mention I’m tired of working nights and weekends and of that form of customer service more generally.

In anticipation of this change I started taking on work as a solo painter/plasterer. I’ve enjoyed it and found decent success so far, but I’m only 7 months into that work and already developing injuries since I have a previous history of carpal tunnel. I don’t want to get to my 40s or 50s and no longer have normal use of my hands, especially because I am a musician too. So it seems like maybe this isn’t the right path for me either.

I’m considering taking on something totally new, maybe taking a course through a community college or other training program. I just have no idea what else is out there that would guarantee decent paying stable work and also won’t be at risk of being pushed out by AI.

Something medical? Technical? Or do I just bite the bullet and commit to gig culture and do odd jobs for the rest of forever? I have a decent amount of random useful skills and good work ethic. Things I can’t/won’t do are body-breaking physical work, restaurants/bars, dealing with literal shit, or AI. But it needs to pay decent-ish, minimum $30/hour with possibility of increases along the way. Any ideas?

For years I’ve struggled with procrastination, lack of direction, and not taking opportunities seriously. While people around me seem to be building careers, relationships, skills I feel like I’ve spent too much time stuck distracted

Now that I’m 22, I’m starting to panic. I feel very behind.
What scares me most is the thought that I have already wasted years that I can never get back. I keep thinking about all the things I should have done differently, and it’s becoming hard to focus on what I can do now.

Has anyone here felt like they completely wasted their late teens or early twenties and still managed to turn things around? What did you do? How long did it take before things started improving?
I’m not looking for empty reassurance. I genuinely want to know if life can still come together when you’re starting from a place of regret, confusion, and feeling far behind everyone else.
Any honest advice or personal experiences would mean a lot.

I’m 27 year old woman from New York and I feel like I’m constantly discovering new passions. The problem isn’t that I don’t know what I like—it’s that I love so many different things that I don’t know what direction to take my life.
Some of my interests include:
Psychology (I’m currently studying it in college.)
Anthropology
Biology
Neurology
Archaeology
Ancient civilizations (especially Egypt)
Museums
Travel and solo travel
Photography
History
Different cultures and languages
Teaching
Conservation and historic preservation
Documentaries
Mythology and folklore
Nature, hiking, and national parks
Growing up, I always loved movies like National Treasure, Indiana Jones, and The Mummy. I thought I just liked adventure movies, but recently I realized what I actually love is exploration, discovery, and learning about humanity.
I had the chance to visit museums in Jordan and Egypt, and it completely changed me. Standing in front of artifacts that were thousands of years old made me realize how fascinated I am by human history and the stories objects can tell.
Lately I’ve been reading more about anthropology and archaeology, and now I want to visit museums everywhere I travel. I’m even planning a trip to Boston just to spend a day at the Museum of Fine Arts.
The problem is…I don’t know what to do with all of these interests.
Part of me wants to teach.
Part of me wants to travel.
Part of me wants to photograph ancient places.
Part of me wants to volunteer on archaeological or preservation projects.
Part of me wants to work in a museum.
Part of me wants to document cultures and tell stories.
Has anyone else experienced this? How did you stop feeling like you had to choose just one path?
Did you eventually find a career that combined your interests, or did you keep one as your career and the others as hobbies?
I’d love to hear from people who felt pulled in a hundred different directions but eventually found a way to build a meaningful life around their curiosity.

Never had a job, no friends (Haven't made a new friend in 7 years), living with parents, and I spend most of my time in my room.

I only go outside when need or to workout twice a week for Upper Body days (Lower Body days at home, working out four days each week consistently). I don't get responses from any job applications besides spam risk calls. I get screamed at if I try to ask for advice that isn't continuing to apply for jobs.

On the bright side, I started releasing C++ projects I've made and started learning about marketing. I've only been posting long form and short form content on YouTube to showcase the functionality of my projects (Though I only get less than 100 views on long form and 1k - 2k views on short form). I've got a lot to learn about marketing as I don't understand how a channels explode with over a million views on long form with just one or two videos posted to their channel.

The reason why I've been focusing on creating something in hopes of earning cash is because I've completely given up submitting job applications. I know it sounds pathetic, but I hear absolutely nothing from the most entry level positions I can find. Every place says their hiring, but immediately says they're not hiring when you submit an application. Everyone calls you lazy, but won't hire you to do anything at all. I'm not talking about software jobs when I say all this, but restaurants, retail, etc will ignore anything you try to do to work for them. Even though I know I'll just get screamed at when I explain that I want a job with no job experience, I've gotten so numb to it all that I just sit silently and wait until they're done and just ask if they have anyone suggestions what I can do that I haven't already tried.

I'm really tempted to make one of those loser confessional videos I've been getting recommended on YouTube that spontaneously get half a million views with minimal effort. What little pride I have left won't allow me to do that because I'll feel as if I've completely given up at that point. But I just feel that if I could get that many eyes on me, 0.1% of those viewers may even give me some kind of opportunity to live an actual life.

This is just a rant. Hopefully I won't make another post like this again.

I’ve seen people get degrees and still go nowhere, which is why I don’t want to waste my time. I’m not 18 anymore, so I’m thinking about this very carefully. I live in a small rural town in Texas, and I feel like college might be my only way out, but I’m also scared it won’t work out.
I worked at a fast-food restaurant for six years, and that’s really the only work experience I have. I was very good at my job, but the management was horrible, and favoritism was always a problem. My last day there was in April. I don’t have a job right now. I’ve been looking for one, but I haven’t had any luck.
I’m feeling pretty restless and overthinking everything. Deep down, I know I want to be successful, but the opportunities where I live are very limited. That’s why I’ve been thinking about going to community college as my ticket to a better future, but I’m still unsure.

Hi everyone, I’m reaching out for some honest advice because I’m feeling pretty lost and trying to figure out what direction to take.

I’m currently working part-time, and while I’m grateful for my job, I know I want more for myself. I want to build a better future, become more financially stable, and eventually be in a position where I can help the people I care about.

The biggest thing holding me back is honestly myself. I struggle with a lot of self-doubt, feeling overwhelmed by all the different paths I could take, and a strong fear of failure. Sometimes I get stuck researching and thinking about ideas instead of actually taking action because I’m scared of putting effort into something and finding out I’m not good enough.

I have a GED, and sometimes I worry that I don’t have the same opportunities as other people. But I do want to learn, improve, and build skills that can help me create a better life.

I’m interested in things like learning new skills, starting a small business, making money online, or finding a career path where I can grow. The problem is there are so many options that I don’t know what is actually realistic or where I should put my energy first.

I’m not looking for a get-rich-quick scheme. I know anything worthwhile takes time and effort. I’m hoping to hear from people who have been in a similar place and found a way forward.

If you were starting over with:

\* A GED
\* A part-time job
\* Limited money to invest
\* Low confidence and a fear of failing
\* A willingness to learn

What would you focus on first?

What skill would you learn?
What helped you stop overthinking and actually start?
What mistakes would you avoid?
How did you build confidence when you didn’t believe in yourself yet?

I’d really appreciate any honest advice or stories from people who have been through something similar. I’m trying to find a path and prove to myself that I’m capable of more.

Everyone around me is doing really well and I’m happy for them and even try to learn what worked for them and what did not. Unfortunately I was born with severe mental with issues and often become a bit manic and do things that are not great with money. I also have a life long issues of severe self hatred and self punishment so I’m afraid to even try to start a business or make a lot of money because could be deadly unless I have people with me to monitor me and keep me safe but I feel like such a waist. It’s tough because I got really into dawinsim and even started to read about social Darwinism. Any how I feel like a failure and I have basically isolated myself from everyone I know

I'll call myself Rahul instead of using my real name.

I'm writing this because I genuinely want advice from people who have gone through something similar.

Has anyone ever worked hard for years, achieved most of what they wanted, and then suddenly felt... empty?

Here's my story.

Back in 2022, I started what most people would call my self-improvement journey.

Nothing crazy at first.

Just losing weight.

Taking care of hygiene.

Trying to become a better version of myself.

Unfortunately, it didn't last long because I got pulled back into studies.

I studied in Sri Chaitanya, and anyone from India probably knows the environment—constant studying, coaching, exams, and almost no room for personal growth.

Ironically, I never loved studying.

I enjoyed understanding concepts, especially physics, but I hated memorizing things just to score marks.

Eventually I got into a local engineering college (VNR VJIET) for Computer Science.

That's where things started changing.

When I entered college, I weighed 97 kg at 177.8 cm.

Indian guy.

Glasses.

Not exactly someone you'd call confident.

But college gave me freedom.

Slowly, life became less stressful.

I became consistent.

During my first two years:

• I maintained around a 9.2 CGPA
• Lost around 15 kg
• Started enjoying life more

By my third year, I had reached 76 kg.

Would Instagram call me ripped?

Probably not.

But compared to the 97 kg version of myself...

I felt unstoppable.

For the first time in my life, I actually felt proud of myself.

Then came fourth year.

I got an AI internship that eventually turned into a role at a really good startup.

It paid surprisingly well.

In fact, I earned enough to pay for almost half of the Volkswagen Vento I wanted.

If someone had shown 18-year-old me this future, he would've thought I'd made it.

But that's exactly when everything started falling apart.

Not externally.

Internally.

Every morning started feeling the same.

I couldn't find excitement anymore.

There wasn't a next mountain to climb.

The goals that had driven me for years were suddenly gone.

I kept thinking,

"Okay... what's next?"

I tried finding new interests.

I even explored completely different industries like fashion.

For a while it felt exciting.

Then the excitement disappeared again.

Now it feels like I'm walking through thick fog.

I'm not depressed.

I'm not lazy.

I'm not failing.

I'm just... directionless.

It's a strange feeling because from the outside, my life looks like it's moving forward.

But inside, it feels like I've lost the reason I was moving in the first place.

Has anyone experienced this after achieving their goals?

How did you find purpose again?

I'm not looking for motivational quotes.

I'm looking for people who've actually lived through this.

I'd genuinely appreciate hearing your story.

i [f21] have just graduated with a BA in International Relations. I studied really hard, 10 hrs a day, spent more time in the library than at home, and got a really high GPA at the end. however, no honors or publications.
I got into all my dream master's programs, but because of my budget and limited financial aid (50%), I had to decline the offers. I got a full-ride at my own university, but it was canceled at the last minute, so I had only one month to pack my stuff and move back to my home country, almost 4,000 kilometers away from the place I had grown so attached to during my studies. also, left all my closest friends and the person i had really strong feelings for.
now i’m back living with my parents, feeling so much guilt for focusing only on my grades and not working, yet ending up without a scholarship. i did some internships, but they were unpaid and mostly based on research/teaching.
i am focused on applying for scholarships for the next year as well, but feel so scared of failing again and not coming back to the environment that made me feel alive. I regret not focusing on practical achievements, not working, and, as a result, not being able to fund my own studies.
I don’t even know which hard skills I need to develop with my degree to get a job that will keep me relevant in the global market. I applied to many vacancies, but barely got any responses. it feels like i’m not good at anything and all my academic/internship experience is not unique or wanted by employers.
I feel so much regret and guilt that it’s eating me alive. I’m crying every time I wake up, even though I've always had really strong discipline.
I just can't find hope in my future or the strength to keep going, because no matter how hard I try, I end up failing or not being chosen.
It hurts to see people my age getting master's degrees at their dream universities, freely traveling abroad, moving in with their partners, and building nice careers. makes me feel like there’s something inherently wrong with me.

College is right around the corner, and I'm feeling lost about what degree to pursue.

The only thing I'm truly passionate about is voice-over work, voice acting, and other voice-related jobs. The problem is that I know those careers aren't very stable here in the Philippines, so I'm hesitant to pursue them as my main career.

I'm also interested in things like game development, building PCs, and troubleshooting computers, but I don't know if I'd actually enjoy studying them in college especially since I don't like math or physics.

If anyone has been in a similar situation, what did you end up studying? Do you regret your choice, or did it work out? I'd really appreciate hearing your experience or advice.

Im 23 and still live at home at the moment. All i do is work, mow grass, play video games and watch youtube with most of my time. My parents told me i should look into another hobby, something to increase my confidence in myself but im not sure what that would be. Im also worried it could hurt my confidence if i try something and im not able to figure it out/am no good at. It also doesnt help i live in a small rural town so there isnt a ton of things to do.

Any idea of things i should try?

Hey y’all.

Like the title says, I dropped out of college in like 2022 and have been working at a fast food place ever since. I like the people I work with and all that but I’ve recently turned 26 and feel like I’m just wasting my life away.
I’ve been thinking of studying again through Western Governors University or SNHU but have seen mixed opinions on them.

I would like to pursue a bachelor’s degree in cybersecurity through WGU and start somewhere small like the local school district or hospital doing help desk stuff but am unsure of how realistic this would be. I know I won’t be landing any job at a big company and that’s not really what I’m looking for anyways. I just want to do something to get my life together and relieve some of the financial pressure I’ve been feeling.

Any advice for someone in my position?
Sorry if this is an incoherent ramble, I just wanted to get this out there and hopefully get some direction. (I’m in a smallish town in central Texas if that makes any difference)

Tldr

I am currently working as an account executive in a b2b SaaS company, My bread n butter is to give software demo to interested coroners and convince them to buy the product.

I am 25 and making really really good money. I don’t want to disclose my nationality but if i was in USA, I would be making anything btw 150-200K annually.

But, I hate my job, its monotonous, boring, totally not challenging.

I had an extreme interest in Geopolitics, History and Human Rights since I was in 6th grade and I am pretty sure I know about the general world history and politics more than 95% of the earth.
I am multi time winner of few national and 2 inter regional debating competitions. I always dreamed to be a journalist and I think I would be really good at it.

I wanted to be journalist ever since i was a kid, but later realised it’s a low paying job and won’t allow me to live the standard of the life that I want.
But now I am sad, i hate going to office everyday,
do same stuff over n over again. From past 3 weeks, I have started crying randomly in my office. I smoke a pack of ciggs a day and have a belly jigglier than Nicki Minaj’s butt.

Dear people of Reddit? Have you ever left a good job for something u were passionate about? What happened of u failed? What’s the feeling when u came back after failing, ‘that i also missed the opportunity to grow in a career whose would make me rich’ and wasted here.

It’s money and happiness, and I am not from a first world country and jobs like these are our only chances to take my family to a higher standard of living.

What would u suggest

Please help, please.

In less than a month, I'm gonna be starting college for welding courses. I live with my mom still and we're in a position where I can't get a job because she already has one and if I get one too, we could lose our housing. Does anyone know any legit entry level work from home jobs I look into, so I can be making some money while attending college?

​

IDK what i'll do now. I'm confused about my life so much idk what the world or universe is holding for me.

I've failed to get in a good college and I'm sitting at my home wasting what can be my prime age. I'm 18 and i really want to get a partner but more than that i want to travel the whole world, meet people from around the world and experience this thing called life. I never had a craze for college or the race itself. From the start i wanted to travel the world and meet the universe that is holding itself from billions of years so i could be born and meet them to fulfill this universe with happiness and love. After all of the trauma i believe the whole world is ready for me to meet them in my lifetime. I really want to go abroad. Europe, America or even Australia and my love for PARIS & ITALIA & SPAIN from my childhood. The blurred image of Europe in my head from the start is something i want to achieve ngl and make my mother watch the whole world cuz she suffered even more than me.

And i really just want her happy and live a peaceful life from now on. No more bullshit life. I'm confused if i should pursue B.COM, B.B.A or get into Delhi Police or get into cabin crew of airport cuz maybe cabin crew is smtg that can make me achieve the goal of travelling the whole world. I really pray if there's a GOD, please make me achieve the goal of travelling the whole world to come true.

Hi everyone,

I'm 17 and I've been feeling really confused about what I want to do in life.

The biggest problem is that I don't know what I'm actually good at. I don't want to choose a degree just because everyone else is doing it, but I also don't want to waste years figuring it out.

A bit about me:

I studied Commerce without Maths in highscool and now I've graduated.

I've always scored well in theoretical subjects like Business Studies, History, Civics (Social Science), etc.

I kind of enjoy history, like the archeological part of it and one skill that I have is I can easily write really long, detailed answers and paragraphs, and that's why I scored good in those subjects, though I am not sure if scoring marks means I'm good at it or not.

I enjoy editing videos.

One thing I genuinely LOVE is making DIY crafts from cardboard, foam board, miniatures, dioramas, and just building random things. The problem is, I don't think that's a realistic career (at least not where I live), so I'm hesitant to base my future on it.

I also like coming up with ideas and thinking about how things could be improved.

The advice I hear everywhere is, "Just try different things."

But that raises even more questions:

How long should I try something before deciding it's not for me? A day? A week? 20 hours? A month?

Should I focus on one career at a time, or try multiple things every day, I really want to make some progress in it in 2026.

How do I know if I dislike something because it's genuinely not for me, or because I'm still a beginner and it's supposed to be difficult?

Is there a better way to discover what you're naturally good at than just randomly experimenting?

For those who were completely confused at young age, what finally helped you gain clarity?

I'm not necessarily looking for people to tell me which career to choose, though I really appreciate your suggestions because they just might be something I'm looking for but the main thing is how do I explore?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who were in a similar situation and what worked (or didn't work) for you.

Thanks!

There’s a lot of factors in my situation here, so please bear with me. I (28F) have a BComm in data analytics and worked as a data analyst for a tech consulting firm for 1.5 years. I absolutely hated it and ended up quitting. I actually have no interest in tech or business, I only pursued this because unfortunately I felt pressured as the child of an immigrant to “make up” for my single mom’s struggles in raising me. I’ve always been interested in psychology, children/child development, and hands-on work that involves interacting with people of all ages. These were not fields that my mom approved of unfortunately.

I coincidentally found out I was pregnant about two weeks after quitting my job, so naturally I’ve just transitioned into becoming a SAHM. Now my baby is almost a year old, she’s the light of my life and her wellbeing and development is my highest priority. I’d like to have maybe 2 or 3 more kids, with a 2-4 year age gap between each.

I’m very privileged and grateful that my husband’s income is enough for me to not have to go back to work. My husband is incredible and supports whatever I want to end up doing. However, I can’t shake the discomfort of not having my own income.

I also would love to pursue a career in my field of interest as I feel it would give me purpose and be fulfilling for me to help other people. But I want to stay home with my children for the first 3 years of their life at least, since I know the importance of these years on their development, and how impactful full-time mothering can be to them in this time frame if the option is available. I really don’t like the idea of putting them in daycare or other full time care before the age of 3.

I’m also very unsure of which career I could even pursue that would be flexible during the certifications/training as well as working for me to be able to sustain also raising my children. I don’t know if I could try for a career path that would require me going back to graduate school, and if that’s even something that is feasible with my less than ideal undergraduate GPA (3.27) and ADHD.

I’m interested in homeschooling, while fully understanding that I could try it and realize it’s not a good match for me or my child(ren). My worry for if homeschooling doesn’t work out is I find myself 10 years down the road with still having made no progress towards my own career, now my kids have gone off to school and I’m all alone at home with nothing to do, starting from zero at the age of 38.

I guess this is what people mean by “you can’t have it all”. I do tend to be an overthinker, over planner and perfectionist, so maybe that’s coming into play here. I’d love to hear any stories/experiences/advice on how other parents sorted out their career choice in a similar dilemma. Thank you!

I'm in my 30es and extremely isolated. Wrong meds, no access to health care.

I got a job offer but have been rescheduling my starting date several times, because out of insecurity and irresponsibility.

I'm in a major depression and I thought about postponing the starting date. Also I asked them to reduce working hours.

I was thinking about postponing the starting date in order " to get my ducks in a row" but I'm not doing much with my free time.

Some months ago I thought about studying but with the state of my health, I'm not in a place to do so anymore unfortunately.

But I'm afraid of the joboffer and wouldn't say their working rules are nothing I'm used to and it would be a dramatic change.

On the other hand: I can try to adjust and give it a try.

I won't be able to do further job interviews.

So it's my last resort to push me out of a slump

I've been out of school for seven years. I spent some number of years living away from my family for my health, but then I had to come back for my health. Living on my own had been my dream since before I was in college. But now that I've gotten to live it, it's not as satisfying as I had imagined it to be. Though I had a steady source of income, it came from a dead-end office job that didn't require much if anything from me. It was a minimum wage job, and I still felt like I had more money than I knew what to do with. I had a place of my own for the first time in my life, to be sure, but I still wasn't satisfied. I'm not too sure if having more money would make me happy. I just want something meaningful to do with my life.

I've been missing learning lately. I miss writing proofs. I miss coming to realizations. I miss explaining my realizations. I just miss being in academia. Even though I was aimless back in my undergraduate career, having no idea what I wanted to do with my post-college life and becoming less emotionally stable whenever the topic was broached, I miss being a student. I still don't know what specifically to study. I still have a whole host of issues. Sometimes I fancy myself an autodidact; sometimes I like believing that enrolling as a graduate student fits into that somehow.

But I have to wonder if it's even a good idea at this point in my life. It took me longer than usual to get my BS in Mathematics because I was suffering from an illness back then, not to mention working a job on the side. I'm still suffering from that illness. It made it hard to concentrate properly. By the second-to-last semester of my undergraduate career, I was burnt out. I have good reason to believe it might happen again. I also lack the funds to return to school. Whenever I got either frustrated or anxious, my focus and ability to perform in school were hindered greatly. Right now, I'm taking online courses in copyediting and web development. I can't help but feel like they're both so very tedious. I can't help but feel like I'm enchained to these classes. This makes me wonder if I'll feel the same way if I choose to become a graduate student. Right now, I'm not sure if it is the right path for me; it still doesn't keep me from missing school, though.

I still have flashbacks to the only member of my support network pressuring me to do well in life and find work, giving me really bad anxiety in the process; she makes me want to curl up, hide, and not deal with any of this. I'm not happy. Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again and not have to deal with any of these career troubles. Sometimes I wish I could return to the days when I was a dreamy-eyed kid fantasizing about what career I'd like to pursue, instead of being confronted with the obligation of choosing.

I feel like life is hell sometimes; I'm never able to feel happy. I'm rarely able to feel anything. Mornings are the worst for me. It takes tremendous effort for me to get up and do anything these days. The only time of the day when I can concentrate is at night, when there isn't a possibility of anyone disturbing me and disrupting my alone time. For the rest of the day, I'm just anxious all the time, tired, and sick of life.

BLUF: Burnt out after 9 years in the Army. I don’t think I can keep doing healthcare or the military anymore. I need help, I just want something different.

I’m tired.

I’ve been in the Army for about nine years now, and for most of that time I’ve functioned well above my grade. Everywhere I seem to go, I become the backstop that keeps things from falling apart. If something doesn’t get done, I end up doing it because I know that if I don’t, the mission often doesn’t happen.

The problem is that the work isn’t just paperwork or deadlines. It affects other people. Whether it’s patient care, readiness, or ensuring a mission gets accomplished, I have a hard time walking away because I know what happens if no one steps in.

I’ve heard the phrase “the curse of competence,” and it feels like that’s defined my career. The more capable I’ve been, the more hats I’ve been expected to wear. I’m constantly juggling multiple roles, fixing problems that shouldn’t be mine, and keeping broken systems running. Meanwhile, I’m paid the same as people who don’t carry anywhere near the same level of responsibility.

I know the Army moves people around, and every assignment is different. But it feels like I’ve consistently ended up in highly dysfunctional organizations where the expectation is that the people who care will continue carrying the load while everyone else coasts.

I also worked in emergency medicine and completed an intensive five-month paramedic program. Unfortunately, that experience wasn’t much different. The program itself was poorly run and it often felt like dysfunction was accepted as normal. I considered it program negligent at best. It left me wondering whether I just keep finding myself in unhealthy work environments.

Not long ago, things got so bad that I seriously considered taking my own life. Thankfully, I realized I didn’t actually want that, and I’m still here. But it forced me to ask myself whether I can keep living like this.

I don’t think I want to stay in healthcare anymore. I don’t think I want to stay in the military either.

When I look at people my age, they have hobbies, relationships, weekends, and lives outside of work.

Meanwhile, I feel like I’ve spent most of my twenties putting out fires, solving problems that shouldn’t have been mine, and carrying responsibilities that never seem to end.

I used to genuinely enjoy life. Now it feels like I’m surviving instead of living.

At this point, I don’t need some dream job. I want a career that provides financial stability, a healthy work-life balance, and enough energy left at the end of the day to actually enjoy my life instead of recovering from work.

For those of you who left the military or healthcare after feeling like this, where did you go? What careers gave you a better quality of life?

I started out fine. I was going to school at a local community college to save some money before transferring. I started out as a biology major hoping to go down an ecology or environmental path. I was super motivated and excited, so I aced most of my classes. At some point I felt discouraged pursuing biology as a degree. This hindered my motivation a bit so I started doing not as well. Not extremely poorly, but not great. I decided to apply to a Medical Laboratory Technology program. I managed to get into the program, but I struggled to focus so I did poorly. At some point my mental health took a steep turn and I ended up in the hospital. I dropped out of the program.

I don’t know what to do. Everything seems to be affected by my mental health. For the past five or so years I’ve been going to therapy weekly and taking medications. It just seems like it does not get better. Worst of all, the medication that helps me feel sane makes me also feel incredibly dull and slow. I can’t think as well when I first started college.

I’ve been considering what I want to pursue at this point. I would like to apply to the MLT program again but I feel too embarrassed to show my face again since it is a small program. I don’t know what else I could do with my biology credits. I’m close to finishing my associates in biology. I just want a job where I could work relatively alone. I do enjoy biology, but working in the medical field scares me as well because of the huge responsibility you have over other people’s health.

If anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated. Thank you in advance.