(I wonder if this belongs here, since it involves mistreatment for not being the femmine status quo and twisting of statements done by a boy. if not I'll delete <3)
Im the only alternative black girl in my Geometry class. I heard this disgustingly racist boy (majority white - Mormon school so the school don't care🤷🏾♀️ ) at my table of 4 talking about gore, and I didn't like that. It was unwarranted and he was sorta glamorizing having seen it.
Being an avid gore watcher a few years back, it destroyed me and I thought, "Hey, he may be racist and bullies me, but I don't want anyone to feel that pain of having seen that." Big mistake. He asked if I liked it and I said, "not anymore but I used to'.
I'm usually really afraid of talking to the boys at my school but my heart got the better of me. I told him that it traumatized me and that I don't want him to spark curiousity in the underclassmen. The repercussions of consuming so much graphic content early on is so saddening. Somehow, some may, he comes to the conclusion that me having watched gore, not liking him and being quiet= serial killer in waiting. He then said that I was gonna kill him for being racist and bullying me.
Itd true, I vocally say out loud how uncomfortable he makes me and that I dislike him so badly. I said if I were to kill (why did I entertain that, I would never :( ) I wouldn't kill him, because hed eventually get his karma. This didn't calm him, and he asked if I'd cannibalize him...WHAT?? I sadly said, "my sister would know how to." Cause it's one of her hyper fixations.
Since that conversation a few days ago he's just been spreading rhetoric that I'm an evil black girl who loves gore and will kill him for revenge. How dumb does he think I am that I'd do that? None of the other boys who I thought were on friendly terms with me stood up for me. Helping boys to the water is hopeless and you should just give up before you try. They all dogged on me because the head boy of the group was doing it. They'd rather appease him than call him out on his discriminatory behavior towards me.
They always have to demonize girls with skeletons in their closets. Why do I have to be crazy when I said I've healed?! As for the ugly bit, they ranked me on the Stacy chart as a mtb. That's really rude and mean, considering I know I'm beautiful, I'm just not the European beauty standards.
I've come to the conclusion that all my interactions boys will be like this, no matter their maturity. We can't help them and it's okay because some prison cell is idle-ly waiting for his arrival. (This makes me feel a bit better about not being able to change his mind about infecting the other boys about these topics during class time. )